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Cheyanne_loves
Jul 22, 2009, 03:21 AM
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and although we do have problems we are very much inlove:). We live in virginia and are moving to newyork were I am from in a couple of weeks. We are going to be living with my mother for a while until we get stable and it is a beautifal place to live. It is in the country and its very peaceful. Me and my soon to be husband are wondering if we should have a baby now or if we should wait until we are on our own. We will have plenty of money to take care of it and/or give it whatever it needs but we just aren't sure if we should wait or not. I am currently going to collage and my man works a normal 7 to 3 shift at work. My mom has told us that if it is something we are very serious about doing, we could stay with her as long as we want and she would be more than happy to watch the baby scence she is not currently working and won't be for a WHILE. What do you think, should we have it now or wait?

danielnoahsmommy
Jul 22, 2009, 03:26 AM
You should wait till you are established. Babies cause allot of stress and can hinder a relationship from progressing. You should wait until you are under your husbands insurance policy, because if you get pregnant. Before they may determine pregnancy to be a pre-existing condition and not cover it.

If you are doing it for the free child care from mom, trust me she would go to you as well. (she seems like a caring mom)

You should finish college first!

redhed35
Jul 22, 2009, 03:32 AM
Cheyanne-loves,you have another thread which you say your boyfriend emotional abuses you,and you have considered leaving him.
I strongly suggest you put off having a baby until your sure of the relationship,and resolve any issues within the relationship.

N0help4u
Jul 22, 2009, 03:33 AM
Wait until you are moved and on your own.
Even though yout mothers is peacefull when you are pregnant you can get emotional and little things can be stressful. Even a simple move and living back with mom can be a little stressful. It may not be 'the same' having your boyfriend there too.
Basically too many changes to go through with the complications of being pregnant on top of it all.
I use to have to deal with more stress than the average person and I always thought how strange it seemed to me that everybody talked about stress and I never felt it with the messes I had to deal with. When my kids were older I noticed that I didn't have as much stress and yet I was starting to feel stress. Basically when things got easier I let go of some of the numbness I had built up in me to keep me from feeling the stress.
Now years later, partly because of the stress and partly because of my Pepsi addiction I have adrenaline exhaust.

Wait at least until you move on your own from moms.

Edit: reading Redheads reply:
WAIT BECAUSE NOT ONLY do you have to worry about how your body is going to take the changes. You also have to worry about how your boyfriend is going to react to all the changes. PLUS being at moms he may be on his BEST behavior, once you get your own place he may let go and get worse! So my advice is wait at least a few months AFTER you get your own place.

danielnoahsmommy
Jul 22, 2009, 03:41 AM
Possible troll, another post just removed stated she already lives in ny. What to think?

J_9
Jul 22, 2009, 04:04 AM
Is this the boyfriend you met on the internet? Aren't you 16?

N0help4u
Jul 22, 2009, 04:19 AM
I read the other posts now and from what I get out of it she may have left mom in NY to move down with the boyfriend. And now planning on moving back. Yesterday she said he is abusive and wondering if she should break up.
Today she is asking if she should have a baby.

One minute she is asking about marrying then
Today she is asking if a 16 yr old can have an apartment.

Sounds like she left home to be with a guy and she is only 16. Says she has been in a relationship with him for 2 yrs.
Sounds like MOST of that relationship had to have been over the internet.

Sounds like she is confused and doesn't know where to turn.

A baby does not solve any problems it only creates more when your life is not settled.
A baby does not make the guy love or respect you any better either.