We have been together for 8 years now as a family and we would like the adoption
To happen before she turns 18. But where not sure where to start at.

You get the biological father to sign away his parental rights in court, then have a family law attorney draw up the adoption paperwork.

What Syn said... and in many states you also need to be married. Consult with a local family law lawyer.

I would start with an attorney. They attorney will prepare all the paperwork properly.

we have been together for 8 years now as a family and we would like the adoption
to happen before she turns 18. but where not sure where to start at.

1) how old is the child now ?


2) How can you be living as a family if you aren't married ? I call that playing house.

If you would have been married for over a year then adoption is a real option.. as of right now it's a dream.

1) how old is the child now ?


2) How can you be living as a family if you arent married ? I call that playing house.

If you would have been married for over a year then adoption is a real option .. as of right now its a dream.

Because a wedding does not make a family.

Because a wedding does not make a family.

Yes, that's true. But in the eyes of a Judge it certainly goes further than just playing house for 8 years. A Judge is the one that has the final say so and if he does not like the fact that there is no legal permanence in the family structure wherein one person can just walk away at any point in time with no "strings" attached. Being married does have more prestige than not being married.

Being married does have more prestige than not being married.

Only to the small minded. (i.e. the idiots that write the laws)

You know why my fiancée and I are getting married? Because we have to in order for me to adopt my son.

No other reason. It doesn't change our lives one bit.

Stupid reason to get married, don't you think?

First of all, how old is she? If she's almost 18 then adopting her may be a moot point. Secondly, the title of your thread is how to adopt my fiancé's daughter. Since you are not married to the girl's mother it's unlikely that an adoption would be granted, especially if the biological father is still in the picture. It'll be easier once you're married, especially if the bio father has limited or no contact with her. You'll have to file a motion in Family Court and the bio father will have to be notified and given the chance to consent to or contest the proposed adoption. If his whereabouts are unknown then you'll have to make a good faith attempt to locate him and demonstrate this to the court. If he still can't be located then after a predetermined waiting period the adoption can proceed without his consent.

Only to the small minded. (i.e. the idiots that write the laws)

You know why my fiancee and I are getting married? Because we have to in order for me to adopt my son.

No other reason. It doesnt change our lives one bit.

Stupid reason to get married, dont ya think?

Actually it does change your lives in ways that are unseen. That's why there has been so much debate about it. With marriage comes certain rights and responsibilities that you don't enjoy now. It may sound dumb but its part of the structure and hiarchy that this country is built on.

Actually it does change your lives in ways that are unseen. Thats why there has been so much debate about it. With marriage comes certain rights and responsibilities that you dont enjoy now. It may sound dumb but its part of the structure and hiarchy that this country is built on.

Just cause it's the law doesn't make it right or relevant in this day and age. It just makes it legal.

This is a bad place to discuss the merits and disadvantages of marriage.

The OP asked about adoption--and it's true that in most states you have to be married for an adoption to happen.

HOWEVER--if the biological father won't relinquish, the whole thing is moot.

The OP needs a lawyer in his area, not a debate about marriage.