I have had custody of my nephew since he was 8 years old. He is now 14 and is giving me hell. He has always been a problem child but now its worst than ever. I can't seem to get any help from anyone. He has been to mental health for kids, he has been sent off for a couple of months, he has been to bootcamp, wilderness camp, and everything I can think of. He has been to therapy after therapy and nothing helps. I am at my ends wit with this child. I can no longer keep him here at my house because of his behavior. Every year I he gets kicked out of school (exspelled) and has to be homeschooled. Now he lies constantly about anything for no reason, he's always messing with my husbands exspensive equipment and breaking things (3000.00 keyboard for example). I just don't trust him in my house or around his other brothers that I usually keep on the weekends whom are 9 and 10. Please help if you have any suggestions on how can get rid of him as far as me having custody.

I have had custody of my nephew since he was 8 years old. He is now 14 and is giving me hell. He has always been a problem child but now its worst than ever. I can't seem to get any help from anyone. He has been to mental health for kids, he has been sent off for a couple of months, he has been to bootcamp, wilderness camp, and everything I can think of. He has been to therapy after therapy and nothing helps. I am at my ends wit with this child. I can no longer keep him here at my house because of his behavior. Every year I he gets kicked out of school (exspelled) and has to be homeschooled. Now he lies constantly about anything for no reason, he's alway messing with my husbands exspensive equipment and breaking things (3000.00 keyboard for example). I just don't trust him in my house or around his other brothers that I usually keep on the weekends whom are 9 and 10. Please help if you have any suggestions on how can get rid of him as far as me having custody.

You want suggestions on 'how to get rid of him as far as having custody'. How very sad for him. You aren't asking for help in managing him, or asking for suggestions on how to cope with this situation.

You wanting to get 'rid of him' is probably pretty obvious to him as well. I have no suggestions for getting rid of him; if he were a dog, I'd say drop him off at the pound.

But we are dealing with a child here.

I'd say for his sake, as well as your own, seek advice through CPS.

Perhaps a lawyer would be a good option.

I just can't answer this post... if you DO decide to 'get rid of him' I hope he finds a more loving caregiver than you obviously are.

If every parent 'got rid of' their children because they 'couldnt handle' them... there would be no parents... there would only be foster parents...

I feel horrible for this child...


AND I smell a troll...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/can-put-nephew-foster-care-355671.html

This is the second person tonight asking how to "get rid" of a child.

This isn't a goldfish, this is a human being. You don't give up on children, you do everything you can to protect them, love them and help them.

What you're teaching him is that he's not loved, that when things get tough you just give up, that he's expendable.

Is he troubled? Heck you. Does he know how you feel about him? I bet he does.

This is just sad.

*virtual greenie alty, got to spread the rep again*

I'm sure he certainly DOES know exactly how she feels about him. And it only makes it worse for him knowing that (in his mind) no one loves him.

Send him to me. I don't have money, we have a small apartment, I can't offer him much... but I can love him.

You want suggestions on 'how to get rid of him as far as having custody'. How very sad for him. You aren't asking for help in managing him, or asking for suggestions on how to cope with this situation.

You wanting to get 'rid of him' is probably pretty obvious to him as well. I have no suggestions for getting rid of him; if he were a dog, I'd say drop him off at the pound.

But we are dealing with a child here.

I'd say for his sake, as well as your own, seek advice through CPS.

Perhaps a lawyer would be a good option.


Just so everyone knows if you read the forum you would see that I have had him since he was eight and treated him as my own although I have none of my own. My family nor his want to take care of him because he is very much a problem on everyone. I come from a good home and I have raised him in a nice suburban neighborhood with good cultural background and stability. There is nothing more he could ask for. I have loved him since day one and I still do love him. You can't ask me to give up my life because of a child that refuses to straighten up. I can go to jail for some of the stuff he has done because he is a minor. I can't take him anywhere because he steals from people homes and out of their pocket. When I got him he was basically raising himself because his mamma could careless what he was doing. He steals things that he could have, he curses at authority figures, and I did not raise him like that. If you knew anything about a child you would know that kids learn very fast up to age 5. I didn't get him until he was eight. At age 14 you should know how to act. He was also brought up in the church. My brother has six kids and he is the only one that acts the way he act. Thanks for everyone opinion but I guess I shouldn't have asked the question because the only way anyone else would understand is if they had to deal with a child like this. Thank God you don't because you wouldn't have made it as far as I have

This isn't about you, or how much you have suffered and gone through with this child. I could trade barb for barb with you, and then some, when it comes to hardship experienced through raising a very difficult one myself.

I suspect that he is well aware that everybody has given up on him, and I find that very sad. I do believe you when you say you love him, and I don't doubt you provided the best possible upbringing, and you were extremely generous to open your door and take custody of him in the first place. Not many would.

But to give up?

It appears to me, and I am not diagnosing him here, but just through what I know and have experienced myself, that this young man has serious mental health issues that are not addressed. Maybe you have already gone through that round with assessments and psychiatrists, but you need to do it again, and keep knocking down doors until you get him the help he needs.

Very often the mentally ill go through a revolving door of petty crimes, jail, then probation, then more crimes, more jail, more probation; it is a revolving door that doesn't stop until the petty crimes become more serious, and he becomes an adult, and you have no control over him whatsoever. Jails are full of untreated individuals, who, had they had intervention, could very well have lived different lives.

If you let him go, and decide that you have done your bit and deserve a life without all this hassle, you can pretty much guarantee that you are giving him a sentence, just as if a judge had handed one down. Failure, desperate measures, jail is what he will face.

If you can live with yourself and gain freedom without guilt, then who am I to say that is not the right thing for you to do.

But, I don't think that you have invested so many years of your life loving a child, to turn him out because he is damaged goods, and you don't yet have answers in how to deal with him.

Don't give up now. You giving up along with everybody else who has given up on him, could very well be the nail in his coffin.

I think the issue is in the wording. The way you said it. 'get rid of' custody of him.

If you did not mean it that way, I understand. But it might have been better to say something like 'my nephew is more than I can handle, is there a way I can legally sign my custody of him to fostercare/someone else/CPS'

That's just my opinion. I hope you get this figured out.

Hi, it has been over a year you asked this question and not sure what you have done. But here is what I think people who are criticizing you obviously don't know remotley as what you are going through. I am in similar situation but not as bad as yours... you have you be in the same boat to understand. In my opinion this is not a 14 months old if he can understand and figuer out how to be so distruptive then he can also make the choice to be good. Now one might say he is not mentally capable or too sick minded then in my opinion unless you are mother Theresa it is out of your hand. You need to save you and your family. If you kick him out it is not like you have ruined his life, his life is ruined and he will end up in jail unless he decides to make different choices. In my opinion start counseling yourself to see how you can remove yourself from this situation emotionaly and perhaps even physically. I hear and feel your pain, you are drowning it is time to rescue yourself.

My family nor his want to take care of him because he is very much a problem on everyone.
What kind of custody do you have? Temporary? Permanent?

Permanent Guardianship/ Custody/ is usually granted by the court after it is proven that it is in the best interest of the child that the birth parent should never have physical custody of the child.

Temporary Guardianship/Custody/ is not permanent.It does not sever the biological parents' rights and responsibilities.

If it is not expressly ordered that the Guardianship/Custody/ is permanent it is presumed that it is temporary.
The guardianship and legal custody are similar terms but they are granted by different courts.

Legal custody is not permanent and can end when it is no longer in the child’s best interest to continue custody.
However, the court will hold a hearing to determine whether the circumstances, which convinced the court to change custody of the child, have changed.

This is an old post but I feel for this person seeking help. I won't judge you because I too have guardianship of my own nephew and have been in his life since birth. He was raised by my mother and she passed and he has been with us since age 13. It has been very difficult and it is taking a toll on my marriage and my own younger children and my nephew is only getting older and stronger and louder. I ave sought help and I have tried and tried. I completely undertand, and there is no one else for my nephew. His mother is a drug addict never in his life. He was born drug addicted and has defiant issues. The teachers at school have all but given up on hi,m and at some point he has to take responsibility for his own actions. If I could afford it I would send him to military school. He would probably get kicked out but maybe I would get a few weeks of peace. I took guardianship because my mother begged me to "try" with him because he had no one else. NO ONE but me and my husband. Yet he is ungrateful, defiant, rude, mean, and doesn't want help or to help anyone. The doctors don't care if he doesn't care... I can totally relate to this poor woman. I love my nephew with all my heart and I have been with him and a loving Aunt since he was born.I have only had him full time for 2 years and he was very set in his ways by then. I need a degree in psychology to help him and I need 24 hours a day. I don't have wither one. He is smart, funny, and kind as well. And this is why it makes it so hard. I can see the goodness and I love that, but he lets the rude and negative side control him and everyone around him. There are some things that can break you down and I need to take care of myself for my own children as well. They listen, they get good grades, they follow house rules and they are loving to one another.. while their cousin does and says whatever he pleases and bullies their mom. I am also over it and I found this website because I am trying to find help. And if he doesn't straighten up I need to find a better place with more experienced people that can help him. Because at this point I am so wore down I can barely help myself. If anyone knows of a place that does tuition free on need based for boarding schools or military schools... I would greatly appreciate it. My email is [email protected]

... If anyone knows of a place that does tuition free on need based for boarding schools or military schools...I would greatly appreciate it. My email is ...

Please delete your contact info. Posting it is a violation of the forum rules.

Sorry about that. I cannot figure out how to edit this out or to remove the post altogether. I am not seeing an edit button on here like the help info said.