View Full Version : My girlfriend wants a break
robsta237
Jul 18, 2009, 06:48 PM
My girlfriend and I have been dating for close to 3 months. We've broken up 2 times already. But it seemed like we were going good after that. I feel like I'm falling for her more and more everyday.
She doesn't really like doing sexual stuff that much. And the second time we broke up I promised her we wouldn't have to anymore. And we end up doing it because she knows I like it. But then I feel bad. I've promised her before that I would stop. And we just keep doing it.
I'm REALLY clingy to her. And I didn't really realize that until today when she told me she wanted to take a break. She wants space and wants me to leave her alone until she leaves. She's going on a church retreat and she'll be gone for 5 days, and including today I won't be able to talk to her for 7. One of those days is our birthday and the last day is our 3 month.
This goes back to my second paragraph. I tried and tried to get her to not do this break and that I would stop, and since I've apparently lied to her before she doesn't believe me very much, but I still think deep down she kind of thinks I will
Our relationship we constantly fight and we try to stop. We used to fight about trust now we don't.
I want to know if she'll come back to me? And if she doesn't what do I do? And if she does, how to I stop being so clingy.
I also want to know how to stop wanting to do sexual stuff. P
So Please give me advice and tell me what to do to make sure she comes back.
talaniman
Jul 18, 2009, 07:13 PM
Your not the only one who has to stop the sexual stuff, she has to also. That's the real reason she broke up, but of course, she can't tell you how weak she is, so she broke it off. Sorry guy, better back off, and as you both have intense physical feelings.
If you can't say NO, and neither can she, leave her alone, and let things cool off. If she does come back, do something besides SEX!! Like bowling.
How old are you both??
jmjoseph
Jul 18, 2009, 07:18 PM
You've been dating for 3 months, you've broken up three times already, and argue all the time. Why in the world are you wasting time on this? Find someone else, but this time don't ruin it with lies.
sweet1028
Jul 18, 2009, 11:17 PM
After three months and two break-ups, I would not even be thinking anything sexual. I would be working on the relationship instead.
If she doesn't want to do it, then why does she. Is it because you are being to pushy and making her feel like she has to do it to make you happy? If so, you need to worry about your own problems. You are the one pushing her away, if she says no take no for an answer. Go to your bedroom and please yourself.
What are you fighting about? Money, trust, being too clingy? Fighting all the time in the first part of your relationship is not a bit healthy and with time will only bring more fights and bigger heartache.
I suggest you give her that space she needs. If she doesn't call you the first night she is away, don't call her. That's the clingy thing you was talking about. If she doesn't call you the second night, don't go into a frenzy give her the space she needs. Maybe, just maybe when she sees that you are not being too clingy and ringing her phone off the hook she will call you. When she does, do not say oh baby I don't want to be on a break. Why this and why that? Not the best road to go down, have casual conversation and then hang up. You will feel a whole lot better with the result.
In the time that she is gone you need to work on yourself. She doesn't have to please you sexually for you to be happy with her. She shouldn't have to feel obligated sexually to you. Until she is ready, if she does want you back in her life... work on doing things alone that make you happy. I wish you the best of luck.
Gemini54
Jul 19, 2009, 12:40 AM
This doesn't sound good to me - you fight, you break up, you can't agree about sex.
I'm guessing that maybe there is some guilt stuff happening for her around the sex because she's connected to a church group. She feels guilty and doesn't want to do it, and then you make her feel guilty so she feels she has to do it.
I suggest you leave her alone like she asked you to. Respect her wishes and her boundaries for a change.
Remember you can't make her come back... but you can change your own behavior... the clinginess and the sexual demands (and it's only been 3 months!) are probably a total turn off for her.
N0help4u
Jul 19, 2009, 07:08 AM
You need to give her her space and work on your clingy issues. Before she leaves tell her that you will be working on your clingy issues during the break. When you have the I can't live without you attitude that is a desperate clingy thing that you need to start with working on first.
Girls go for guys that have an independent confidence.
You can't make her love you so all you can do is work on your image.
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 07:11 AM
I can't tell her that because I promised her space, and by talking to her that means I lied to her about giving her space. She told me that she would text me today if SHE wanted to, and not to text her. But she WILL text me before she leaves. Does she have feelings still?
N0help4u
Jul 19, 2009, 07:22 AM
Okay I didn't realize that you were already 'on break'
Then what you do is if and when she contacts you and you have the go ahead to communicate with her then tell her you ARE working on overcoming your clingyness.
I don't know if she has feelings enough to want back but I am sure she does have some feelings for you.
roxypox
Jul 19, 2009, 07:29 AM
Well I'm glad that you are respecting her wish... that you are not going to contact her, but she can contact you today If she wants to.
Nohelp4u's suggestion is good!
Also to work on your clingyness is a very good idea!
Desperation is not an attractive quality in either man nor woman. So you def need to work on it.
Do you have any thoughts and ideas on how you can do this? Because it seems that you will benefit from not thinking and focusing on her while the two of you are on a break, but rather that you focus on yourself and what you can do to for yourself... and to work on the clingyness is a good start!
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 07:34 AM
We argue a little bit, but besides that it seemed like everything was going fine. And then yesterday she says that she doesn't know if she cares about me :/
dealmein
Jul 19, 2009, 07:51 AM
You need to back off completely. Pretend not to be phased by her backing off. Not caring either way is an attractive quality. Doing things that repel her would be phoning her and "trying to work it out". If she contacts you to talk just say "listen.. you wanted space and i'm giving you it. Ive been thinking and it seems to me i need space for myself to. I'll phone you sometime."
slapshot_oi
Jul 19, 2009, 08:11 AM
...And then yesterday she says that she doesn't know if she cares about me :/
Well, she doesn't care about you and she knows this. What she said is bad enough as it is, but at least she's telling the truth. She said she "doesn't know" to soften the blow and to hope you'll get the idea anyway.
You need to disappear from her life, being as you're clingy, she expects you to badger her, so don't. She's already over you.
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 08:12 AM
I think I love her. Everyone sits here and tells me that I don't. It seems to me like EVERYONE knows what love isn't, and no one knows what it is... So if someone could tell me what love is...
slapshot_oi
Jul 19, 2009, 08:14 AM
I think I love her....
It doesn't matter how you feel, she doesn't love or even care about you. It can't work if she's not invested in the relationship.
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 08:17 AM
She doesn't... or she might not... because what if she comes back and wants to get back together, what's that mean?
talaniman
Jul 19, 2009, 10:03 AM
She wants space and wants me to leave her alone until she leaves. She's going on a church retreat and she'll be gone for 5 days, and including today I won't be able to talk to her for 7. One of those days is our birthday and the last day is our 3 month.
Do what she says, and leave her alone, and if she texts you goodbye before she leaves, tell her to have a good time, and nothing else. Just leave it at that.
Nothing more irritating than a clingy, insecure whiny boy, who act desperate. Trust me on that one, guy!
I think I love her.Everyone sits here and tells me that I don't.
Your intense feeling are lust, if I read your posts right, and obviously the break your in was for her to examine her own feelings, to see if its lust, or not.
Your second thread, which was merged with this one was deleted because you left that out, and if your looking for different answers, starting a new post ain't going to give them to you.
The main issue is lust, and sex, which neither of you can control, well she is trying to control hers.
The thing is we all make the mistake of confusing intense feelings of lust with love, Love doesn't need sex, and lust fades over time. That's what your going through, and until the lust fades, NO ONE knows if they are in love or not! That's the whole point, that your learning, how to control your lust long enough for it to fade so you have a better idea of what your feeling, so its more than just being clingy, that hurts you to, but the lust has to be dealt with better as usually that's the first feelings you have when attracted to another. Its powerful, intense, and drives you crazy, to bad it fades after a while. That's being human, and a lesson for you to learn.
It seems to me like EVERYONE knows what love isn't, and no one knows what it is... So if someone could tell me what love is...
Love is what you share with others because you love them, AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. That's the key, you have to love yourself first, and be happy with yourself. Hard with all those new intense feelings going on inside you, but we all have to go through that as we grow. Sorry no short cuts.
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 10:16 AM
So after I posted this and everything you've read. What do you think she'll do?
talaniman
Jul 19, 2009, 11:11 AM
She doesn't really like doing sexual stuff that much. And the second time we broke up I promised her we wouldn't have to anymore. And we end up doing it because she knows I like it. But then I feel bad. I've promised her before that I would stop. And we just keep doing it.
You clearly showed that you can't control yourself, or keep your promises, even worse, you make promises that you can't keep. That's not a good way to instill trust in you.
I'm REALLY clingy to her. And I didn't really realize that until today when she told me she wanted to take a break
Amazing she has to go to such lengths before you wake up, not only about the clingy part, but the sex part, You may feel bad, buts it's a bit late to go back and change that, isn't it. How much of this was she supposed to take from you.
I tried and tried to get her to not do this break and that I would stop
How many times does she have to hear that tired line, That's 3 strikes by the way, that and a couple of break ups in 3 months, that you didn't learn from.
We argue a little bit, but besides that it seemed like everything was going fine
She obviously doesn't agree, as you have shown you care about yourself and what you want, and not what she wants, hey, you wrote this yourself, I am not making anything up here, so add selfish to the list of clingy, and untrustworthy.
And then yesterday she says that she doesn't know if she cares about me
Why should she, be honest, you have had so many chances to be better, but you have NOT, and that's the bottom line.
I want to know if she'll come back to me?
Only she knows that, no one else can answer for her, or predict how she feels, or what she does about it, but doesn't look good for you. How many chances do you need? I know, just one more chance, and you'll change. You've said that before.
And if she doesn't what do I do?
Leave her alone, and use the experience to learn, and grow up, and deal with yourself, and your issues in a more mature, and positive way.
It really doesn't matter what she does,what matters is what you do about yourself, whether you get another chance or NOT!!
dealmein
Jul 19, 2009, 11:19 AM
If you be a man and do your own thing for a while. She may just come back to you. Who's to say where this road will take her. She has to do it for herself though which may sound harsh. Some people just aren't ready for the commitment at that point in their lives. Its harsh but that's the reality.
I'm in her position right now the only difference is me being a guy. Some people will say there's a huge difference right enough.
Regardless of what some people say lust and sex don't make plans for the future. They don't make you smile every time you think about the little things she does. That comes from love and respect of another person. Sure things can be intense but when you look back in a moment of clarity only you can truly say what it meant to you.
Just take each day as it comes and don't pander to her demands. Do your own thing and enjoy it
Why-Man
Jul 19, 2009, 11:20 AM
Well, there are two opinons, the first one is to do what you love, no matter what others say. The second is to love what you do, no matter what you feel inside.. But I believe you should do what is in your nature just BE Yourself
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 11:34 AM
The way I post this it makes it seem like the only thing I do is bad. We hang out a lot, I do whatever she wants me to, I mean yes granit I'm clingy but after getting myself together, and thinking about it. I'm not THAT clingy, I really don't think she knows what she wants. I have reason to believe that this is also a test and right now I'm giving her, her space and I'm just waiting to see what will happen. I think it's iffy either way. How do I just not think about her for the time being?
dealmein
Jul 19, 2009, 12:10 PM
By getting on with things in your life. If you haven't got any hobbies get some. I'm planning on going to play tennis with some mates tomorrow to get my mind of my ex. Might play some golf later this week and go swimming at some point. Have a party Thursday night and its my friends birthday on Friday so going out for that. You don't need to be sitting there feeling sorry for yourself.
A girl who doesn't know what she wants means... your not attractive enough for her. She's not going to leave if your pushing the right buttons. Being clingy at all is a bad move. Learn the fact that if your not clingy and at least pretend your not bothered either way she might come back to you.
A good movie you might like to watch is "swingers". It deals your situation where this guy has his girlfriend leave him to go have some fun. It will also give you something to do for a few hours
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 12:14 PM
I'm not attractive enough? Like Physically?
roxypox
Jul 19, 2009, 12:59 PM
If your not attractive enough it will not come down to the way you look. The first thing we notice about someone is looks, then personality. She has dated you hasn't she... so she must find you attractive physically on some lvl... But in the long run this will not be enough... the two of you has to have more then that going on.
The way you describe your situation does make it seem like she really did need a break for several reasons and Tal did a good job in pointing some of these things out for you.
dealmein
Jul 19, 2009, 02:16 PM
I'm not attractive enough? Like Physically?
No not physically. Girls can be strongly attracted to men who don't seem that much to look at. What I'm saying is your most probably being to full on with her. You're obviously not showing her who's boss. A girl wants a guy who makes the decisions and makes her work for your attention. Pandering to her needs all the time will push her away. You're no longer a challenge and the relationship is no longer exciting.
For this to happen so early you must be showing some serious signs of being a "wussy guy" i.e. "the nice guy". She's obviously attracted to your personality and doesn't want to hurt you. As she's religious she might just be being nice now.
If you want to win her over you have to be your own man. I know its hard to pull away when all you know is being the "nice guy" but its your life and you have to have fun with it.
N0help4u
Jul 19, 2009, 05:26 PM
You say you argue a lot. How does a typical argument go. Like if she says something and then you correct her she may feel that you are always contradicting her and then she may feel like you don't take her serious or you think she is stupid or you always have to be right.
She may simply get tired of all the energy it takes saying ''no that is not the... ''
I know when my son contradicts me it makes my mouth dry and my head ache with all the back and forth crap.
Think about things you say and do and try looking at how she may be taking it from her perspective.
You need to take time and do some real soul searching on what is wrong and how to fix it.
talaniman
Jul 19, 2009, 06:20 PM
Put it to you simple, all the thoughts of what she is doing, and will do, means your not thinking of what your doing, and CAN do.
Just a question, between making love to a females body, and making love to her mind, Which is more important?
Hint: Love the mind, the body will follow.
robsta237
Jul 19, 2009, 10:58 PM
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
talaniman
Jul 20, 2009, 02:48 AM
That's a great plan.
sweet1028
Jul 20, 2009, 06:29 AM
My girlfriend and I have been dating for close to 3 months. We've broken up 2 times already. But it seemed like we were going good after that. I feel like im falling for her more and more everyday.
You two have been dating for CLOSE to 3 months, and you have already broken up twice. Is there a pattern? Date a month, break up...date a month, break up...and now that you are close to the third month she needs her space...
She doesn't really like doing sexual stuff that much. And the second time we broke up I promised her we wouldn't have to anymore. And we end up doing it because she knows I like it. But then I feel bad. I've promised her before that I would stop. And we just keep doing it.
She's not ready for this step in the relationship, she's feeling like she has to satisfy you to keep you around when it goes against her thoughts and feelings. If you care about this girl, give her time. Relationships are not built on sex, and when the relationship has just started sex shouldn't be an object. You two should be getting to know each other a little better...likes & dislikes, do's & don'ts.
I'm REALLY clingy to her. And I didn't really realize that until today when she told me she wanted to take a break. She wants space and wants me to leave her alone until she leaves. She's going on a church retreat and she'll be gone for 5 days, and including today i won't be able to talk to her for 7. One of those days is our birthday and the last day is our 3 month.
Maybe this time apart from you with little to no contact will give her time to get her priorities straight. Figure out what she wants out of life and out of the relationship. If you are really clingy you are possibly pushing away rather than building a closer relationship.
This goes back to my second paragraph. I tried and tried to get her to not do this break and that I would stop, and since I've apparently lied to her before she doesn't believe me very much, but I still think deep down she kind of thinks I will
A break doesn't necessarily mean a break up. Relax, yes it does put up some red lights and makes you wonder what she's thinking but don't crazy telling her please don't do this I love you...etc. It's really hard to be in a relationship where you feel like you have no room to even breath.
Our relationship we constantly fight and we try to stop. We used to fight about trust now we don't.
Maybe the reason you fought over trust is because of all the many broken promises. She's figured out that you are going to keep saying this to keep her coming back to you but you are not going to really change.
I want to know if she'll come back to me? And if she doesn't what do I do? And if she does, how to I stop being so clingy.
Will she come back? Who knows right now. If she doesn't the logical thing to do is to move on. You have one life to live, don't spend it all wondering what could have been when you could be moving on to what always should have been. If she doesn't come back, don't let this be one of your biggest regrets, more like a lesson learned. You have learned something about yourself that in the end resulted in a breakup, something that you could work on in your next relationship.
I also want to know how to stop wanting to do sexual stuff. P
So Please give me advice and tell me what to do to make sure she comes back.
You are only human, and sex is apart of almost everyone's life. But if you want to stop wanting to do sexual things, go out with a group of friends, don't sit at home alone in a dark room cuddled up watching a romantic movie. Good Luck with everything.
robsta237
Jul 20, 2009, 09:29 AM
So I've been asking what I should do, and by the look of your answers in reality there's nothing that I can do to "win" her back I just have to give her space. My next question is: She comes back from her church camp on Saturday (saturday is our 3 month) should I wait until she gets back and wait a couple hours and text her saying "happy 3 month babe". Or should I text her before she gets back so she can look at my text when she opens her phone. Or should I just not text her and wait for her text? And an explanation why would be helpful too.
dealmein
Jul 20, 2009, 09:37 AM
Do not text her at all. If you text her with all these romantic notions when all she wants is space. How is that helping things? You are again showing you are there for her whatever she decides to do which is admirable but it won't "win" her back.
Another thing "winning" her back is not what you should be trying to do here. Getting on with things don't text her don't phone her and IF she decides to contact you treat her at a distance.
talaniman
Jul 20, 2009, 09:59 AM
Talaniman Rule-when you get dumped, and they change their mind, its up to them to let you know.
Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.
Talaniman Rule of Rules- Don't get sucked in the confusion of being friends, at the expense of your healing
Talaniman Rule- If an ex wants you back, It has to be on their own without your influence.
You don't win someone back, they comeback because thats what they want (or think they want) an in being willing to work with you on the relationship, so to hell with idle chit-chat, catch up BS. Your the one healing, and if they want to play the friendship game, NO DEAL.
Leave her alone, and do not contact her over self defeating BS (3 month anniversary?? PUH-LEASE!!). Thats your heart saying that.
You do nothing to hurt your healing, so you can move on, and don't be Mr. Eager Beaver, you'll do anything to get her back, if she DOES contact you. Listen carefully, and ask the right questions without the BS chit-chat.
More questions????
robsta237
Jul 20, 2009, 11:58 AM
We're not broken up, we're just on a break for now. She doesn't know what she wants.
kctiger
Jul 20, 2009, 12:11 PM
Break = an easy way to tell someone we are broken up.
Call it what you want, you two aren't together.
jmw0713
Jul 20, 2009, 12:14 PM
We're not broken up, we're just on a break for now. She doesn't know what she wants.
Oh my... I can't tell you how many times we all have read that line...
Give her what she wants. If she wants space, then give her space.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but 97% of the time a break = break-up. You not able to see that right now because your emotions won't let you. I will bet a fortune, that when she comes back she will still not know what she wants and will want to continue this "break". She will leave you in limbo until she finds what she wants. Chances are she will find what she wants, with another guy... if she hasn't found that already.
Not knowing what she wants, or being confused, is a obscure way to tell someone that they don't feel the same way about you as you do for them.
It's best to realize that she is trying to lay the soft blow on you, rather than being blunt about it. It would probably be in your best interest to start working on letting her go now, rather than be strung along forever and wasting your time wanting something to work that is inherently broken.
robsta237
Jul 20, 2009, 07:41 PM
You know what. I'm going to give her a chance, I'm going to see if she can text me, if she doesn't then eventually I'll text her and see how she is diong. All of you say that a "break" is short for break up, and I have faith in her I have faith that maybe she'll give me another chance. I really hope she does I'm willing to change for not only her but myself as well. It was dumb of me to post my problem on the internet expecting you guys to help me, and really the only thing I'm doing is over thinking everything. And right now that is the last thing I wish upon myself. I'm religious and I feel like if I pray for strength upon myself then I will hopefully get it and become stronger if she does break up with me. I hope she doesn't, but if she does then the only thing I can do is move on, or even possibly become her friend and once we mature more we can try later. I thank all of you for posting what you really feel, but this is ME posting what I really feel. I wish the best of luck to you all.
kctiger
Jul 21, 2009, 05:50 AM
You know what. I'm going to give her a chance, I'm going to see if she can text me, if she doesn't then eventually I'll text her and see how she is diong. All of you say that a "break" is short for break up, and I have faith in her I have faith that maybe she'll give me another chance. I really hope she does I'm willing to change for not only her but myself as well. It was dumb of me to post my problem on the internet expecting you guys to help me.
Yeah, it is dumb to expect people who have tons of collective experience on the matter to help you. But you seem to be different so I am sure nothing we say applies to you. :rolleyes:
Give you another chance? That has always been my priority, wait for a girl to decide if I am good enough for her...
Carry on... :cool:
jmjoseph
Jul 21, 2009, 05:57 AM
You know what. I'm going to give her a chance, I'm going to see if she can text me, if she doesn't then eventually I'll text her and see how she is diong. All of you say that a "break" is short for break up, and I have faith in her I have faith that maybe she'll give me another chance. I really hope she does I'm willing to change for not only her but myself as well. It was dumb of me to post my problem on the internet expecting you guys to help me, and really the only thing I'm doing is over thinking everything. And right now that is the last thing I wish upon myself. I'm religious and I feel like if I pray for strength upon myself then I will hopefully get it and become stronger if she does break up with me. I hope she doesn't, but if she does then the only thing I can do is move on, or even possibly become her friend and once we mature more we can try later. I thank all of you for posting what you really feel, but this is ME posting what I really feel. I wish the best of luck to you all.
You have our answers because YOU ASKED. Too bad it's not what you wanted to hear.
jmw0713
Jul 21, 2009, 06:49 AM
HARSH ALERT!!!!
My girlfriend and I have been dating for close to 3 months. We've broken up 2 times already.
Well this certainly looks like a relationship that has started on the right foot...
We all need to take breaks multiple times in our relationships because we love each other SO much...
Give me a break!
Hey man, wait for her all you want. You're right, what you guys had was special... special enough to where you guys had to get away from each other multiple times over the course of 12 weeks!!
I'll break it down further, you guys didn't even HAVE a relationship...you had sex a few times. That's IT! A relationship is something that goes on way longer than 3 months and involves way more than sex.
I have faith in her I have faith that maybe she'll give me another chance.
Keep praying and hope that the Lord will help you... but remember, he can't influence free will. Miracles do happen, when it involves something else besides love.
It was dumb of me to post my problem on the internet expecting you guys to help me, and really the only thing I'm doing is over thinking everything.
I agree with everyone who has posted. The advice given here is WELL worth it. When you post a question here, we give you the straight truth, how we see it. Not some sugar coated advice, filled with things you want to hear.
You are right, you are over thinking everything. You are seriously over thinking the fact that she will give you another chance, and that this "relationship" was healthy and meant to be. I'm sorry, but it's not bro.
She wants more than sex and you are not providing that. The story of your relationship sounds like something out of the 8th grade. You need to grow up and realize that sex isn't everything, and that when people feel like they are being used for something, they run.
So think about this for a bit and then maybe you'll open your eyes.
N0help4u
Jul 21, 2009, 06:56 AM
MANY people like learning the hard way!
dealmein
Jul 21, 2009, 07:15 AM
This just shows your lack of maturity and lack of experience with girls. I know where you're coming from though I was the same 6 months ago. I came on here hoping to understand a little more about my relationship.
I decided to break with my girlfriend. What she did was what you're going to end up doing. She text me telling me she missed me wanted to talk and work things through. Told me how stupid I was being for wanting to break in the first place.
So I decided to give it another go and just basically push the "why i wanted to break in the first place" to the back of my mind. Everything went great for 6 months and recently I felt the same as I did before. Nothing had been sorted out.
So that's it our relationship is over. I don't regret taking another chance at it because ultimately it led me to know for sure. BUT it meant dragging it out for so long. The only thing I do regret is not listening to the advice of these people on this site. They know their stuff and they're impartial observers who will tell you like it is.
So yeah I know you may think "this doesnt apply to me" and that "our relationship is different". It really isn't and you'd be a fool to think her reasons for the "break" will slowly disappear.
crisluvsu731
Jul 21, 2009, 08:54 AM
How old are you 2?
sweet1028
Jul 22, 2009, 11:14 AM
You know what. I'm going to give her a chance, I'm going to see if she can text me, if she doesn't then eventually I'll text her and see how she is diong. All of you say that a "break" is short for break up, and I have faith in her I have faith that maybe she'll give me another chance. I really hope she does I'm willing to change for not only her but myself as well. It was dumb of me to post my problem on the internet expecting you guys to help me, and really the only thing I'm doing is over thinking everything. And right now that is the last thing I wish upon myself. I'm religious and I feel like if I pray for strength upon myself then I will hopefully get it and become stronger if she does break up with me. I hope she doesn't, but if she does then the only thing I can do is move on, or even possibly become her friend and once we mature more we can try later. I thank all of you for posting what you really feel, but this is ME posting what I really feel. I wish the best of luck to you all.
Oh sure give her a chance! Have you lost your mind? She is the one taking the break therefore she would have to be the one giving YOU another chance... to what yet again go for 3 weeks and break up. That is NOT a relationship! Blah, Blah, Blah that's what she is hearing every time you say "baby I'm going to change, just give me another chance, I need you, I can't live without you, I'm dieing here" broken promises can't get you nowhere!!
As for being dumb for posting, no that's not it, it's the whole fact that you posted got really good answers from people who took up their own time to try and help you in your situation. The being dumb comes in when you don't take any of our advice and you are still in the same position you was in when you posted. So good luck to you! When you grow up a little and finally figure out what a RELATIONSHIP is, then maybe you will come back on here and thank us for our advice. Until then, good luck with the breakups, I mean the relationship with your ex, shoot I mean your girlfriend!!
roxypox
Jul 22, 2009, 11:35 AM
I know other have already driven the point (and several of them!) home...
But when I read cases like yours it still catches me of guard some how... you have gotten great advice concerning your question and you have gotten many good pointers as to what you can do to lift yourself out of that deep deep DEEP hole you're stuck in... people have come here and thrown you a life line.
One that could have given you some perspective, a way to learn and a way to move forward with your eyes wide open, and not wide shut.
The 'relationship' you are in, is not a relationship as of yet... I mean 3 months; what can you really learn about a person in 3 months? And With 2 break ups during that time, I'd say that it really doesn't seem like a relationship worth pursuing. If a realationship starts of on the rocks and is rocky, from the get-go, it's a sign... it's a sign that its not working, its not functioning as it should be (ideally). To have disagreements is one thing, or a little spat here and there, but to break up when you barely know each other =bad sign.
as for you giving her another chance... dude! seriously, where's your sense of selfworth? She went on a break with you, not the other way around = she is the one who has to decide to give you another chance!
You going on here, wasn't dumb at all, and of course I can see that you think it is, because you want us to tell you the stuff you want to hear. But that's not how it works.
Good luck to you. I hope for your own sake that you snap out of it and leave the land of illusions!
slapshot_oi
Jul 22, 2009, 11:54 AM
You know what. I'm going to give her a chance, I'm going to see if she can text me, if she doesn't then eventually I'll text her and see how she is diong.
I had an lol moment.
Tell us what she said.
sweet1028
Jul 22, 2009, 12:00 PM
It's hard to believe that there are people out there that don't care enough about themselves to keep dangling their heart out on their sleeve and letting someone bounce it around like a ping pong ball. Even worse, they won't take good advice when it's given to them.
I think we have done all we can do here. Everyone you pointed out some great things and myself would have thanked you totally for all your great advice. So let's give up on this guy, he obviously is just wasting our time which could be spent on someone else who will listen. This is my last post on this one.
kctiger
Jul 22, 2009, 12:01 PM
I am the first to admit I am hard headed when it comes to females. They make guys insane! So, I can't really beat the OP up. I can sympathize a bit with his actions... he will eventually learn, if not from us, from his mistakes.
roxypox
Jul 22, 2009, 12:08 PM
I am the first to admit I am hard headed when it comes to females. They make guys insane! So, I can't really beat the OP up. I can sympathize a bit with his actions...he will eventually learn, if not from us, from his mistakes.
That's true, that is usually how it goes I guess, if you can't learn from advice or others experiences... your own mistakes can open ones eyes.
LOL as for hard headed-ness... the ones who have seen my thread in action know I'm not always that good at following my own advice, and I don't always wake up that easily... I will admit I have a way of coming around though.
When I wished OP good luck! I didn't try to be cheeky, I meant it! ;)