I am new to being in an open/polyamorous relationship... I need people to talk to that are living this lifestyle (with successful relationships) that I can turn to for advice... any takers?

http://www.bing.com/search?q=polyamorous%20relationship...&form=MSNTLB (http://www.bing.com/search?q=polyamorous%20relationship...&form=MSNTLB)

That's all I got, but maybe more info into what you and your partner are agreeing to would help.

Whose idea is this any way?

If you're looking for a serious relationship, but the other person isn't, then it's bound to fail.

You have to be clear from the start what type of relationship you want. If the other person doesn't want the same thing, then you move on.

I agree more info would help. Exactly what have you and your partner decided upon, and how did the conversation come about? Who broached the subject. Was there any discomfort on either side when speaking about this?

I have personally never seen any that last

Being in a monogamous relationship is challenging and complex- you just need to read some of the posts on this site to get a sense of that!

Polyamorous relationships intensify and complicate the dynamics between two people because there are other people involved that have expectations, desires and needs.

I would suggest that firstly you need to have a strong sense of yourself, a good understanding of what you want from the relationship, and why you're in it.

You will need to honestly ask yourself if you can be happy with such an arrangement and what agreements might be put into place to ensure that your needs for confidentiality, love, sex and time together might be met. Unlike a monogamous relationship, some of these things may need to be clarified at the start.

I would also suggest that if you've of a competitive nature then a relationship like this would be unsuitable for you, as I suspect you will need to be capable of greater flexibility and compromise in a polyamorous relationship.

Finally, if you've come into the relationship as one of the subsequent partners, I'd be looking at the state of the original relationships - beware if they are not healthy and if you're being brought in to 'fix' a dysfunctional dynamic.

Gemini - thanks so much for the info, it was a big help...

My fiancé and I had many many talks about what type of relationship would suit us best, and we toyed around with the idea of an "open" relationship and it has evolved into polyamory. I have no doubt that we made the right decision, the only problem is that I live in the bible belt of the country, so non-monogamous people are pretty hard to come by. More than anything else, I need a social network to talk to openly about it.

I'm glad this was a mutual decision for the two of you! Like I wish said: if one wants it and the other want a monogamous connection it is bound to fail.

Have you tried to research it? I read a newspaper article about this last year, one man and two women who live together... I can try to find a link for it... although it is in norwegian so that might make it less useful though (LOL not that many people outside of norway can speak the language.)

The article did talk about how it worked out for them etc.

Have you tried to look for info on the web about this? Articles, blogs etc...

There is also a TV show on the subject, although it is a TV show, so some moderation is required when you try to link the subject towards your own life. (Big Love)

Hope this was of some help!

Roxy

So your okay with your man having more than one wife, or are you and he going a different route. There are many different ways of going about this, so could you be a bit more specific about your circumstances?

Yeah, more details would be helpful on this... what have you guys agreed upon?

Do you intend to find a person who is interested to share their life with the two of you?

Do you want to bring in a second girlfriend or Boyfriend? Will that person be shared by the two of you (a bisexual) or will that person only share one of you?

Are you looking for someone longterm or shortterm? Are you guys going to look for partners together or is only one of you looking...

Sorry about all the questions but it really is a complex sort of relationship and it is def a good idea that the two of you talk more in deltail about it before you look for another person.

Also in order for us to give better advice it is easier with more details ;)

Definitely need more information to help you out

To answer the above questions:

We are not polygamists, so no other spouses. We agreed that we are open to anything from dating other people, to having meaningful, long-term relationships. I am bi, so if a girl I am interested in is also interested in him, that's cool, but definitely not a requirement! We have done TONS of research about it, and I feel like I know a great deal of information. Like I said though, it's hard to find people in my area that I can go and hang out with and have a candid discussion about non-monogamy. I've also tried to find sites geared toward alternative relationships, but they are few and far between.

All I'm looking for on this site is someone with experience in non-monogamy that I can vent to and not have to censor my conversation with...

Let her rip, you'll no doubt get plenty of feedback, and with an open mind can be insightful from many points of view.

Monogamous relationships are hard with out adding people to it, but just curious, Is he bi also, and would it make a difference if another guy "join" this group??