I can't orgasm through penetration I have been masturbating since I was maybe 12... and I fake like I have orgasms when I have sex with my boyfriend but he's hinting around that he knows I'm not.. I have not had an orgasm with any of the guys I have had sex with... and I don't know why... my boyfriend now has a 6 in penis, my ex had a 8 1/2 in penis and my other ex had a 6 1/2' in penis and noen of them made me... what is wrong with me? Is clitoral stimulation going to be the only way I orgasm for the rest of my life? Are there any moves that I can try?

First it is not the size, don't they use enough foreplay to allow you to orgasm perhaps before they start regular sex ?

Also what different positions do you use. Do you tell them what positions feel best.

What sex toys do you use before and even during sex

Are you comfortable with guys you have sex with? Sometimes you get the question, "Are you going to orgasm yet?!" and it causes women to freeze up and lose the orgasm they thought they were going to have.

Also, not being aroused enough may have something to do with it.

When you masturbate, do you orgasm? If so, show your partner what you do to achieve that orgasm! You'll get to orgasm with your partner, and they feel good because they helped you get there! It's a win-win!

I think you'll find that it's usually quite difficult for women to orgasm just through vaginal sex - there has to be some stimulation of the clitoris involved, either through pressure via thrusting, or through manual stimulation.

It may mean that you need to change positions so that there is contact with the clitoris, or you may need to replicate your own masturbation techniques - either you, or your BF can do this whilst he's penetrating you. I do it with a vibrator, but you can use fingers, whatever. I can assure you that this type of orgasm feels quite different to just doing it yourself.

Don't keep faking it - it's not good for you or your BF and creates distance instead of the closeness that is one of the wonderful things about sex.

There is heaps of stuff on the internet that you can read, but stop blaming yourself - there is NOTHING wrong with you. You may eventually achieve an orgasm solely with penetration, but then again, you may not. Orgasms are a very individual thing — there is not a correct way to respond. Whatever works, feels good, and makes you feel more alive and connected with your partner is what counts.

Go on top that way you go how deep you want to and maybe be abit naughty and watch a film of other people that you you can maybe get a little bit more excited.

First off, don't fake it. They'll never learn how to please you if they think they already are. Next, are you a surveyor? The way you are popping off measurements, like it was part of the boyfriend selection process. Did you carry a ruler? Just kidding.

Explore new positions, maybe try stimulation(clitoral) during penetration. Let him know, tell him that you're not orgasming like he suspected and go from there. Good luck to you.

How old are you?

How old are you?

Thank you, that question needs to be answered first.

I'm 20 and well he watches me masturbate but when we have sex I do play with myself sometimes but I never achieve orgasms... we do it doggy style, me on top, him on top, me hangin off the bed, every way we can think of we try new positions all the time... I've never been able to orgasm through penetration... help me

Not all women do have orgasms through penetration alone. I certainly don't. Some do, and perhapes ladies who DO can give you advise.


But keep in mind, you may simply not be able to do so. To make it more enjoyable, get a bullet to hold against your clitoris WHILE he is having intercourse with you. This may help you reach a vaginal orgasm.

im 20 and well he watches me masturbate but when we have sex i do play with myself sometimes but i never achieve orgasms... we do it doggy style, me on top, him on top, me hangin off the bed, every way we can think of we try new positions all the time... i've never been able to orgasm through penetration... help me
I think your young age also plays a big factor. You aren't even near your peak yet and there is a lot of learning you need to do, mostly about how you respend and how tomanipulate the situation to get the most out of it. Even then not all women will. Incidentally... almost all the nerve endings are near the vaginal opening... anything beyond 4 or 5" is purely a mental stimulation thing if he has any clue what to do.

And something I almost left out... he has to have a bit more than a clue as well. Very few guys your age group do. When you see young cuties with older guys... its not just about the money. They know how to make women see the stars, literally.

Let me ask you this are the guys you've been dating one minute men cause if they are then that just makes them selfish. And maybe you guys should do some more foreplay so that way he could get you worked up and more into it and don't worry too much about the orgasm let come to you cause if your if your focusing on that your mind isn't were it suppose to be you have to be in to it, not thinking about any thing else besides feeling and kissing each other. Also check out which sign your most compatible with cause I'm a scorpio a sex goddess and I married a Cancer and are sex life is on FIRE.So yea give that a shot.

Ouch... english please.

Let me ask you this are the guys youve been dating one minute men cause if they are then that just makes them selfish. And maybe you guys should do some more foreplay so that way he could get you worked up and more into it and dont worry too much about the orgasm let come to you cause if your if your focusing on that your mind isnt were it suppose to be you have to be in to it, not thinking about any thing else besides feeling and kissing each other. Also check out which sign your most compatible with cause im a scorpio a sex goddess and i married a Cancer and are sex life is on FIRE.So yea give that a shot.

Sorry, but James Joyce was the last person able to run sentences together correctly and he didn't make any sense. Thanks for using complete words at least.

not all women do have orgasms thru penetration alone. i certainly dont. some do, and perhapes ladies who DO can give you advise.


but keep in mind, you may simply not be able to do so. to make it more enjoyable, get a bullet to hold against your clitoris WHILE he is having intercourse with you. this may help you reach a vaginal orgasm.

A bullet... are you serious? Good heavens jennipepsi, I guess it IS America!

A bullet ...... are you serious? Good heavens jennipepsi, I guess it IS America!

A bullet is a little vibrator. :)

22155

A bullet is a little vibrator. :)

22155

Sorry! Thanks for that - whew - I took it literally!

Sorry jennipepsi - I had visions of the wild west - a bullet between your legs and a pistol between your teeth!

They're right. You need to know to teach your partner how to "pleasure" you so you can have orgasm. Maybe more foreplay or maybe mimic a rape scene or something... anything that will get you excited.

I've found that being on top helps with clitoral stimulation. So you can have your cake and eat it too!

Hey Roshell, You seem be worried more than you should be. My wife of 11 years is pretty much the same. She just can't have an orgasm through penetration alone... but she enjoys a clitorial orgasm just as much. It took us a while to find mutually enjoable acts and positions and we have. In such cases foreplay is important and fortunately. You need to find your way... and it is important that your boyfriend understands and is keen to indulge you.

read the boards here and you'll see you aren't the first woman who has had to work to find out what works for her to get to the big O.

second, I don't care that your boyfriend has more experience, he is still a 18 year old who isn't going to know what you need if you don't know what you need.

and the idea of "more foreplay" gets tossed around all the time but I think you need to take that in context. It doesn't necessarily mean more making out, kissing, or whatever base you wish to call it...

if I don't spend about 15-20 minutes on my lover just rubbing her body down and helping her relax... with absolutely NO kissing whatsoever... if I don't give her time for her mind to relax but her skin to sensitize, it is so much harder to get her to climax.

not all lovers were like that.

the suggestion that you self stim with him inside you, either with your wet finger or with a small vibe, is a great one. Sure... the first time a woman did this I thought "what is she doing? am i that bad"... but when I saw her response, it was all pure pleasure.

so fine. Some woman can reach orgasm without any kind of cl!toral stim. I've brought my lover to orgasm before with just mouth-nipple play and my hands on her arse. Doesn't happen often (2x for sure and I think a third)... but it was the right moment with the right stim and her mind was able to completely release.

so... my guess is that you are mortal, and like most women, might need a few more things than you are getting. Maybe some of the foreplay that you like best should be saved until later... for ex, I love my ears bit at, but if a woman does it near orgasm it will surely intensify the moment. Likewise, my partner likes me to hold her wrists hard as she nears orgasm, but doesn't liked feeling "trapped" too early.

so... don't lose hope. Don't let him off the hook. Don't expect him to know what you need to get you off with penetration if you don't know yourself.

at your ages, 20 and 18, do you really have real privacy and time together? Any fear of being caught? Have you each tried making one sexual experience "all about the other"... meaning if my partner pushes me to the wall in the hallway and pulls down my pants, I'm pretty certain it might be her needing to get me off right then and there.

likewise, if my lover get a hot, steaming shower, a patient rubdown, and gets pulled to the end of the bed... she's pretty sure I'm all about her at that time.

just a thought. Yes, its great when you both can match up and both get to the big O with intercourse... but sometimes just setting yourself up for a few "wins" can help.

Alty - Once again I'm melting. KP you sure have a way with words.

My tongue thanks you.

Behave, you two.

Behave, you two.

I want to point out that I'm being good this time.

I know, not the norm, but so true this time.

Okay, okay, I'm going back to my corner.

KP, behave. ;)

Lol, what good would a REAL GUN bullet do gem? (I know, I'm late in my reply sorry :P )

Do you not have bullet vibrators in australia? Or you just never heard of one?

lol, what good would a REAL GUN bullet do gem? (i know, im late in my reply sorry :P )

do you not have bullet vibrators in Australia? or you just never heard of one?

Well, I wasn't sure - I just had this image of a bullet and my brain went crazy.

... I thought it was an American thing - you know because us hicks down under think of you yanks as gun totin' cowboys - or simply mad and ornery... joking, joking!

No logical reason my brain went to such an absurd place - you know how it is sometimes...

Well, I wasn't sure - I just had this image of a bullet and my brain went crazy.

..... I thought it was an American thing - you know cos us hicks down under think of you yanks as gun totin' cowboys - or simply mad and ornery .... joking, joking!

No logical reason my brain went to such an absurd place - you know how it is sometimes .....
I'm sure there are at least a few women out there that actually do get off with a real gun... at least once. Can't say I ever met any however. Its statistically possible in any case.

Mmm I think I have seen certain pictures of women using a gun for... well... it starts with a D.

But other than that, I have no idea what good the bullet would do :P

OK wow totally hyjack. I'm sorry rosell, ill stop. If gem and me want to talk more about it we can do it in the discussion board ;) hehe.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you. Me and my boyfriend have tried a couple new things to make me reach climax. I don't get off on penetration either. I have to work really hard and sometimes I have to work hard really fast. My boyfriend says I'm really good when I'm on top (he reaches climax fast when I'm on top) and I like it that way to because it's the only way I have found I climax. We will do different positions at first but in the end just before he reaches climax we switch to me on top so I can rub myself really hard against him to get me off as well. Sometimes it's a pain in the *** because me on top does get boring and we have not tried any form of sex toy yet(were going to though and see if that helps) but it gets both of us to climax so it works for now. The best way I have found that works best is if I lean forward and kiss him and slide back and forth on him fast then slow and back again. Sometimes he grabs my butt and helps push me down harder on him as I grind on him and sometimes he runs his hands over my back, down my sides over my breasts and down my arms. Have your man do the same. Stimulation in other parts of your body is good too, or you can sit up a little and hold his head while you grind on him so he can play with your breasts with his mouth. The more stimulation you have at one time the harder your orgasm will be(I just read that on the internet and actually just tried that the other night and its true). Another thing, if you want to learn new tricks or have a question about sex don't be afraid to look it up and read about it. I do and as scared as I get with trying new things I do. He will never know what hit him if you just do something you have never done before out of the blue. Maybe instead of grinding try sliding up and down on his penis. My boyfriend got a taste of that the other night and he loved it. It was a shock to him and he loved it. I may not be an expert but I have found in the last couple months that if you think your not going to climax you prob won't. Go into it with a clear head and just have fun don't think about anything other than how good it feels.

You shouldn't fake your orgasms. Since you've been doing it for so long, your body is probably just used to you pleasuring yourself.. but let your partner know.. maybe he'll even have some ideas for you! Don't be embarrassed to tell him that you have a problem having an orgasm. A lot of times I have a problem with that but I've let my fiancé know every time... and he'll actually keep himself for having an orgasm until I have one... its really not that bad once you talk it out. Good luck!

I know my wife only orgasms through oral sex and cannot vaginally. Its nothing wrong with you or the guy, its just the way you were built and there's nothing wrong with that but faking it will not help the matter. When he finds that out, he will feel inferior and as if he isn't enough to please you which can lead to resentment.