Hello All,

I am a 26 that just found out this 2 days ago... For the past 8 years, I have thought I have had a child, I have asked year after if the child was mines because she has a lot of my features... 8 years later the mother tells me that the child is mines/great possibility that she is mines. I know the first step is to get the DNA Test. If the test shows that yes she is mines what is the next step, she has thought for the last 8 years that some other guy is her father. (which has been great to her). So I have always wanted to know and if so be involed...

1) How do I proceed?

2) Do we tell her and the family or leave it all the way it is?

3) How do I get to know this child and how does she get to know me?

4) Will this have a mental effect on thei child?

Thank You..

1) How do I proceed? You already touched on that. The DNA test. Then I would sit down and seriously talk to your wife (if you have one) the child's mother, and the child's father on what you all want to do

2) Do we tell her and the family or leave it all the way it is? This is totally up to you and the girls mother/father

3) How do I get to know this child and how does she get to know me? If you decide to be a part of her life, (no matter how you decide to do it) you spend time with her. Go out, see movies, take her shopping, etc

4) Will this have a mental effect on thei child?
It depends on how it is handled. As well as her personality. Some children *like my daughter* are extreamly accepting of something like this. Others can react negitively. This is one of the things you would need to speak to her mother and 'father' about.


Good luck hon, and, if appropriate for you, congratulations. A child is a precious thing, no matter what the circumstances.