Hello Everybody,

So here is my dilemma.

I was in a relationship with a single mother for 8 months and she broke up with me about 2 months ago. The first 5 months were amazing (not just beginners fantasies), we connected on many different levels and it was an intense relationship. I was confident, happy and very caring towards her.

I went away with her and her children for a week and that is when everything changed. She was distant, non responsive and I was left in limbo for the entire week. When we came back from the trip, we had a chat and she told me she was confused and did not know what she wanted out of us. So to make a long story short, we decided to take things slow and see where it goes (she is the one who invited me to the trip in the first place).

The last 2 months of the relationship was the biggest roller coaster ride I had been on. She was on, then off, on then off again. Her ex husband (divorced / separated 3 years ago) had been cheating on her for 5 years and was non existent while they were together. He never admitted to her that he did in fact cheat, even though she had the proof. I did notice how bothered she was whenever he would text and call to pick up the children. I now have a strong feeling she did not get over him.

In the process of taking things slow, I lost my confidence and became a wuss. I was grasping at straws, called her 3 times a day, wanted to be with her all the time, did things for her to make her happy and was just too much overall. It was the first time I had fallen in love and I could not control myself nor my emotions. So she broke up with me, she told me she was not ready to be in a committed relationship. We took a 2 week break prior to the break up, she told me that things were progressing with us, she was scared she was going to get hurt again and she was thinking maybe she should see what else is out there since she never got a chance to after the divorce (I was the first guy she dated). I asked her about the trip and what happened to her, she told me that she felt she was cheating on her husband when I was down there because they had planned this trip in the past. This all came out after she told me I was the perfect guy for her and I was so amazing to her and her children. So we took 2 weeks so she can collect her thoughts and think about things. When we met after, she broke it off with me. She was cold and emotionless that day. She stuck to her guns and did not shy away from her points. She told me she would date casually but knew I would not want that. I agreed. She then asked me if we could remain friends and I told her no chance. So I took my things, she apologized to me, kissed me for the last time and I was gone. I have not contacted her whatsoever and she has not either.

I do know there is great potential in us but will she ever see this. I am moving on and am doing much better than before, I have started dating again and working out. Deep in my heart however I do know that we would be great together. Do you guys think there will ever be a chance on getting back together?

I doubt it, as she has her own issues to deal with, and so do you. That's the only way that would have worked by dealing with your individual issues and working together, which she obviously didn't do.

No one can predict the future, but for sure, you won't be happy unless your always working on yourself, and learning from the past.

Breakups are hard to deal with. We've all been through them. I would imagine asking yourself questions like this is going to make it even harder to move on.

For there to be a potential for you guys to get back together, she would have to want to see that. I'm not sure what you like to do for fun, but stay busy. Hang out with friends. Try not to think about it. When you least expect it you'll meet someone who isn't hung up on her ex. Good luck and hang in there!

This experience has taught me a lot of things and I have grown much stronger in the process. It was a great learning experience and has allowed me to better improve myself. My confidence is stronger than ever and I have kept myself busy with a lot of different things. I am not typically a wuss, but falling in Love for the first time changed that. Now I will know better when it happens again and how to react to certain situations. It's just hard to fathom that she would let go a relationship that was so intense and amazing. Well... all I know is that I am a great guy and have a lot to offer, if she does not want it then it's her loss and one day I have a feeling she will realize what she had, given her situation and how many men do not go near women with children. I do hope she finds happiness though, she is a great woman and I do care for her deeply. Lets see what happens. IF she ever calls and wants to reconcile, I will not make it easy that is for sure (given I am single)

You're right when you say that you don't think she's over her husband, especially if she thinks she's cheating on him after being divorced for 3 years. Likely the fact that she has to see him all the time in regards to kids makes it very hard for her to heal and move on: and that process could take a very long time, with you stuck.

Is there a chance you two will get back together? Possibly, but you can't waste your life waiting around for it. Move on, and if she calls asking to try again from there, you can make a decision.

You're right when you say that you don't think she's over her husband, especially if she thinks she's cheating on him after being divorced for 3 years. Likely the fact that she has to see him all the time in regards to kids makes it very hard for her to heal and move on: and that process could take a very long time, with you stuck.

Is there a chance you two will get back together? Possibly, but you can't waste your life waiting around for it. Move on, and if she calls asking to try again from there, you can make a decision.

We shall see. I will not sit around and wait for her. There are too many signs and dreams that is really preventing me from letting go. It is happening every day almost and it's making things really difficult for me.

She asked you to remain friends, I guess you weren't able to do that, which I understand. She is just getting out that divorce and that takes time for anyone. She actually needs a friend probably not a boyfriend right now. Her emotions and she has been through a lot. When she sees her ex husband it's a reminder what he did to her. Bottom line, she hasn't healed yet. Give her space and let her work through own stuff and then you go on with your life, and take it from there.

She asked you to remain friends, I guess you weren't able to do that, which I understand. She is just getting out that divorce adn that takes time for anyone. She actually needs a friend probably not a boyfriend right now. Her emotions and she has been through alot. When she sees her ex husband its a reminder what he did to her. Bottom line, she hasn't healed yet. Give her space and let her work through own stuff and then you go on with your life, and take it from there.

Exactly my thoughts, just an FYI however, she has been separated / divorced or 3 years and I was the first man she went out with after the divorce. What matters most right now is that I have identified the issues on her behalf and mine. I have become stronger and far more confident than before. I am moving on and have started dating again. I have improved myself and realized many things, it was actually a blessing that it happened. She is a great person and I wish her well, we were extremely compatible but I suppose things happen for a reason.

Friendship was just not an option for myself. The healing process would have doubled (if not tripled) in time and that is not something I want. Being friends with an ex is just not possible in my point of view, especially if you fell in love with them. I need to do what is right for ME, and make ME happy, not her.

Time heels the heart and I will eventually get there. Should she contact me, it will not be a walk in the park for her if she wants me back, that is for certain.