Hey guys I don't know what it is. Is it the lateness of the night? Is it the couple bottle of beers I just have? Whatever it is I have this urge to text the ex.

Long story short, ex left me for another guy. Its been 4 months of NC that I have disappeared from her life. I was about to text her. "With the love of your life yet? I was with mine but now shes gone." Bad idea isn't it? Or could it be good?

I don't know but the thought of that scares me because I still have feelings for her and I don't want to start all over again after this 4 months of not contacting her progress I've made. I've become more healthy emotionally and physically.

Have more time to work on my music, been working out and working and spending time with family and friends and chasing after my dreams which she never supported which when I was with her, I never had time for any of those.

What am I thinking? The possibility of being with her again is out of the question. I can't be with her anymore after what she's done to me but at the same time I still have that small thread of hope holding on and is reluctant to let go. Still want the good times back. Sigh got to keep moving on.

What are your thoughts about this? Is it time to text her? What should I do? Where do I go from here?

BAD IDEA.

Don't even think about it, buddy. We'll just say it's the beers talking and you're lonely. STAY disappeared from her life. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing you miss her.

You'll also set your healing back! 4 months of NC isn't very long, really, and you're obviously not over it.

YOU'VE COME THIS FAR; DON'T SABOTAGE YOURSELF MAN!

You are better off not contacting her until you can be more calm. It's not showing a very nice side of you. Do you really want her to start saying, "I'm glad I dumped that sarcastic jerk, can you believe the text he just sent me?" No one will want to date you when that text gets forwarded to everyone you know.

But if you handle it like a man and realize that you need to heal, then you will attract respect.

Drunk dialing has been replaced by trashed texting.Neither one of which is a good idea.


What should I do? Where do I go from here?

Continue on the road your on.If you give in now,all the work of the past four months will be wasted and you will just be rubbing salt into your wound.

You still want her but I think right now ,you want to hurt her and remind her how she broke your heart. Understandable ,but you should still refrain from back stepping.

She didn't care when she did it and if you text her,it will just give her the upper hand.

Go to a chat room and find someone else to talk to. Make sure to take two Tylenol and a big glass of water before bed,it will ease any potential hangover.

Have a good night and stay committed to making your life better!

You could text her. But strictly as friends. Ask her how's she's been? Ask her if she's happy. If she was slowing you down before she will just do it again. She doesn't appritiate you so don't act like she's your world.

No texting, no contact. Noney, you're doing so well, don't give up.

If you text her now you start all over again. You go back to the beginning, and you worked really hard to get here.

Stick to no contact.

Noney
You give people advice on here...

What would you tell YOU??

Stay NC or I'll get Alty onto you ;)

Wow... if I were you, I'd throw my phone out the window for Alty... :p

You are in no condition to handle a text from your ex, with that kind of messege you want to send. She left you for another guy, she doesn't deserve your attention, not even a drunk text.

It's the beer talking! Don't do it!

You'll only feel like an idiot afterwards and flagellate yourself for being such a jerk.

Four months of NC is great, but 4 months is still only 4 months and there is a way to go. Of course you still have feelings for her - hell, you're human, you're sensitive and you have to go through the process of grieving and mourning a finished relationship.

This is part of that process. People that you've loved don't just automatically disappear from your mind in a poof of smoke. Our memories and our hope and dreams stay with us - and come back to torture us and haunt us. As you're now finding!

It's not time to text the Ex yet while you've still got hope in your heart. Stick to the NC and there will be rewards - good times to come and that ache in your heart fading.

As Artlady says, trashed texting will just leave you feeling miserable and her feeling powerful.

"With the love of your life yet? I was with mine but now shes gone." Bad idea isnt it? Or could it be good?


I cannot begin to tell you what a waste of time this is, and how desperate you would look by sending it. You are the winner, remember that! Who's the big winner tonight Noney? YOU ARE!!

I am thankful you at least had the sense enough to ask us the advice before doing something totally irrational. See what alcohol can do to you? Continue the NC road, and read my words VERY carefully:

When someone leaves you for someone else, THEY had better do EVERYTHING they can to get you back...YOU do NOTHING...EVER!!!

I was about to text her. "With the love of your life yet? I was with mine but now shes gone." Bad idea isnt it? Or could it be good?
Bad idea is an understatement.

There's no "time to text" or to put in effort to make any sort of contact with an ex. It's life, not a waiting game, if you cross paths at some point so be it but let it happen, don't arrange it yourself. Until that time comes, don't worry about it.

Thanks for all the comment guys I really needed. Instead of texting her last night I was reading your encouragments. I am so glad I didn't plus it was the beers!! (my excuse) lol
But to be honest I am so much better off without her in my life. I am actually doing something for myself this time =P I guess I just had a weak moment >_<

We all have weak moments, even those of us who have been broken-up for longer periods.

Those feelings will fade given the proper amount of time.

Thank God my man, thank God you came to your senses.

I was just going to say how desperate that text would sound, especially after 4 months. 4months of N/C is not all that much, however, you sending that would obviously mean the last 4 months have been spent thinking about her.

Never do anything drunk or whatever your pleasure may be, nothing!! Sit and stare.

Thank God my man, thank God you came to your senses.

I was just going to say how desperate that text would sound, especially after 4 months. 4months of N/C is not all that much, however, you sending that would obviously mean the last 4 months have been spent thinking about her.

Never do anything drunk or whatever your pleasure may be, nothing!!! Sit and stare.

I know! I was happy too instead of sending that text to her I came on here so people can set me straight again. And I wouldn't say I was drunk I only had 2 bottles I would say more tipsy lol

Dang I am glad I didn't respond then. I'd have been like DO IT! If you can do it and feel NO remorse whatsoever, why not. Then I realized the last drunk text I sent to a guy was," Go ahead and throw away the bra I left over there, I'd rather vomit than wear it again and think of you." Soooo yeah... my advice would have been horrible. But I feel your pain, drunk texting can be a raw deal. Hope this made you laugh at least, you aren't in that boat alone!

[QUOTE=none12345;1856496]

I was about to text her. "With the love of your life yet? I was with mine but now shes gone."

It sounds like you'r hoping to catch her at a time when she's weak,or things aren't right with the two of them,but even if that was the case it doesn't mean she's going to come running back to you.

[QUOTE=none12345;1856496]

I was about to text her. "With the love of your life yet? I was with mine but now shes gone."

it sounds like you'r hoping to catch her at a time when shes weak,or things arent right with the two of them,but even if that was the case it doesnt mean shes going to come running back to you.

That was the initial intention last night when I was half drunk. Now that I see the light again. Hell no.

My fingers cannot even bring themselves to text my ex... I would have to have someone else do it.

Congratulations! You didn't board the "OH GOD I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT" Train! :D

Way to have willpower! *high five*
Life is good man. Life is good.

Congratulations! You didn't board the "OH GOD I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT" Train! :D

Way to have willpower! *high five*
Life is good man. Life is good.

Is life really good man? Honestly I don't see anything good in life. In mine anyway.

Is life really good man? Honestly i dont see anything good in life. In mine anyways.

Re-evaluate your life then. I see a TON of good in my life, as I create it. Being single should be all about fun. Are you not having fun?

These types of urges can happen. The trick is to overcome these urges and you will emerge strong. I say stronger because the next time you get such an urge, you will be in a better position to withstand it.

Good job on not giving in. If you get the urge again, just come straight back here and we'll snap you back to reality.

The last thing we want is for you to reset all the progress you've made!

Re-evaluate your life then. I see a TON of good in my life, as I create it. Being single should be all about fun. Are you not having fun?

I honestly don't know.

Is life really good man? Honestly i dont see anything good in life. In mine anyways.

Aw, don't be like that. I'm going on 4 months of NC, too. There's plenty of things that are good in your life, I'm sure!

You got up this morning, didn't you? You could breathe in fresh air, right? You had the strength to say "no" to your emotions and be the strong person and put the phone down last night. You're on the road to healing: 4 months NC! There's a lot of people out there that can't even go a week without contacting their ex! You should be proud. There are people on this site that care enough about you to try to help you when you're feeling down! You have friends! You have a life!

What's so bad about that?

You hurt now, yes, and the pain sucks. The flashbacks, the lonely nights, the questions of why you weren't enough for someone else. I understand. But we've got to stay positive. We have to believe it gets better, and believe that we will find someone that thinks we're the cat's pajamas (which is a good thing, by the way). Keep your head up! Look for the positive! I know you can find it.

The coolest thing about being single:

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! So get busy... start dating any all and women who will go out with you! Seriously... live... it... UP!

Okay Guys! Thanks a lot!

Is life really good man? Honestly i dont see anything good in life. In mine anyways.
I hear you, life gets boring quick.

Granted your healing, but chances are your bored too because you just don't know what to do with your time. So, it's time for something new then.

Move on from your ex, move on from bad habits, move on from the same ol' sh*t and start fresh with everything. Use this time as a foundation to change your life completely, not only to adjust to being single again.

I know it sucks... I've been there. I still get random texts from the ex (it's been 2 years of NC). It's the best feeling in the world to not respond to them now. I don't need that crap in my life. I wish him the best and that is it... After spending thousands of dollars to keep him out of jail (:rolleyes: <--*SUCKER*) and essentially doing anything he wanted... I would rather not talk to him at all than to ask for any money back. In fact, I consider it a PAYOFF for never speaking to me again.

Look there is no magical cure for this. You can only try your best to overcome your emotional pull to contact them. If you have some close friends let them know you need to keep yourself REALLY occupied with stuff. I mean it... don't sit at home alone, get out there and have some fun, do everything you wanted to do while you were in a relationship. Whatever you do, don't sit home and throw back some beers while you are alone... especially when you are in a fragile state soon.

You did the right thing by posting to the board pre-text nightmare though!

progress i've made. I've become more healthy emotionally and physically.

Have more time to work on my music, been working out and working and spending time with family and friends and chasing after my dreams which she never supported which when i was with her, i never had time for any of those.


You already know what you have going for you.

Maybe you should step out of your comfort zone and try something new and weird. Like Salsa dance lessons or learn how to make sushi. Oddly enough you will meet some interesting people doing things like this.

You said sushi, YUMMMMM!

I just want to say kudos Noney. Not too many sober people have enough will power to do what is emotionally healthiest for them and you had enough will power and you were drunk. Many kudos.

Just thinking about it seems to have set you back and you were moving forward.

I would love to get out more and meet new people but I have no idea on how abouts to doing that =P any suggestions?

Check you paper or local community college for activities.
Join leagues at your local bowling alley/bar. I made the greatest friends out of my dart league.
Try the things you enjoy. I deal poker, make great money and have met tons of great new friends.
You just have to find your passion.

Pool league!! Well, only if you want to hang with the crazies. I hear the dart leagues are awesome, but I suck at darts so I have no clue. Personally, I would quell the nerd in me and join a local RPG... I know.. dice/paper... what a nerd.

i would love to get out more and meet new people but i have no idea on how abouts to doing that =P any suggestions?


If you like animals for example volunteer for your local Pet shelter , you'll meet genuine people who have the same interests , and you'll be doing something that'll make you feel good about yourself.

i would love to get out more and meet new people but i have no idea on how abouts to doing that =P any suggestions?

You like music don't you?

How about put an ad in the local papers to find people to form a band? That could be fun... :)

If you like animals for example volunteer for your local Pet shelter , you'll meet genuine people who have the same interests , and you'll be doing something that'll make you feel good about yourself.

I love animals! I never had that idea before =P

And I love music, it would be nice to have a band. Black, do you know where and how I can start a band?

Dude, pop by any music store and ask one of the guys who work there, that or they should have a board up somewhere people post,"I give guitar lessons," and "need a drummer," on those all the time.

I love animals!! i never had that idea before =P

And i love music, it would be nice to have a band. Black, do you know where and how i can start a band?

Best way I can think of it would be to advertise in the local newspapers, maybe in the social or community section, about looking for people who play certain instruments, looking to form a band. You may get some replies from there. If not, there is always advertising in a local music shop if there is one near you.

Bud wait for her to come you I got dumped like that twice by the same person and wait for your ex to come back but don't go back with her. I'm a girl and a guy dumped me for a deaf girl -_- then we dated again and he dumped me for this ugly girl but don't do that to yourself it will make it hurt worse. Trust me lol

Wait for her (I assume she cheated or left you for another guy)
To write you.That way you will maintain your sense of self respect,and the ball is in your court.Then again,you could just ignore her text (if she ever does),I think that would make her even more frantic.

Man, if you want to join a band just post on Craigslist. There are tons of people looking for musicians :D

I´m screwed cause Im a musician myself, and I make a living on it... so for me that's not an option... and if I consider taking some lessons or joining a pet shelter, that would take too much time for me since I am freelance and I have to be "selling" myself at all times of the day (which sucks, yes). So since you can do it.. go for it! I´m myself just reading books and keeping myself busy with what I like, but sometimes it gets really lonely... when that happens, I just put Californication, Weeds, or whatever on the computer, and forget about verything. That works for me.

As to meeting new people... I thought about dating sites.. but I feel myself a bit retarded for doing that. I know I shouldn´t.. but I never had problem meeting new people... I´m just usually too busy to do it, so a lot of the time I feel lonely... maybe that helps for you. If I had a normal 9 to 5 job I would totally join a team, or go to some classes... that would be awesome, so go for it! :D

What do you guys think about the dating sites? Would that help somebody like none12345 or like me? (we are on the same boat, although Im now over the phase of trying to contact my ex at all... I now just don't give a crap what she does).

Man, if you wanna join a band just post on Craigslist. There are tons of people looking for musicians :D

I´m screwed cause Im a musician myself, and I make a living on it...so for me thats not an option...and if I consider taking some lessons or joining a pet shelter, that would take too much time for me since I am freelance and I have to be "selling" myself at all times of the day (which sucks, yes). So since you can do it..go for it! I´m myself just reading books and keeping myself busy with what I like, but sometimes it gets really lonely...when that happens, I just put Californication, Weeds, or whatever on the computer, and forget about verything. That works for me.

As to meeting new people...I thought about dating sites..but I feel myself a bit retarded for doing that. I know I shouldn´t..but I never had problem meeting new people...I´m just usually too busy to do it, so a lot of the time I feel lonely...maybe that helps for you. If I had a normal 9 to 5 job I would totally join a team, or go to some classes...that would be awesome, so go for it! :D

What do you guys think about the dating sites? Would that help somebody like none12345 or like me? (we are on the same boat, although Im now over the phase of trying to contact my ex at all...I now just dont give a crap what she does).

In fact I'm thinking of freelancing music. Wrote a couple of songs. Anywords of advice on where to go from here? I had my first bar gig the other day but it was a quiet bar with only a couple of people too drunk to listen. Lol

Dating sites? Personally I've tried that. Im 19 and I found that its usually for people older than me looking for people their age.

Eh, I'm working on my novel, working out, working on the music and work from 8-5 I might find myself too busy to date. I just might lay back on that for a while. =P

Well I agree... I always say that the best times in my life are when I am single. When I get a girl... I start spending a lot of money, not seeing my friends that much, depending on someone... you know. So I guess its best for us both to just stay like that for a while. I have always been OK with being single.. its just this time (im 26) that Im feeling a bit old and Im kind of starting to want somebody in my life. Maybe Im growing up... dunno! Haha!

So yeah, being 26 I thought of the dating sites, cause of course, when I was 22 I didn't bother! But now.. I don't have time, and I kind of want to have a lovey dovey in my life... I thought the dating stuff would work.. but... I hear those websites are scams most of the time... and that you usually don't get nothing out of it, so Im a bit reluctant... they are pretty expensive also... they take advantage of you!

Are you singer songwriteR? I mean.. do you sing and play guitar or piano? If so... I would encourage you to play wiith more people. A singer with a guitar usually attracts old people or drunks (I´ve been there, haha), but a BAND attracts young and sexy girls (been there too, actually Im still there, haha)... so just go to Craigslist and put up an ad. Jam with drummers and bass players and get your songs together, and start playing better venues (not bar & grills haha). If you succeed send me a demo.. I might produce your first album someday ;) ha ha!

Leave your novel aside and write good songs... write about your ex... thats the money maker right there ha ha :D Use all this crappy ex bull for something productive. I know I have done so... I have made a couple of songs that are on the lists right now and soon I´ll be making money thanks to my ex :D ha ha! I´m going to love her again when that happens :p

well I agree...I always say that the best times in my life are when I am single. When I get a girl...I start spending a lot of money, not seeing my friends that much, depending on someone...you know. So I guess its best for us both to just stay like that for a while. I have always been OK with being single..its just this time (im 26) that Im feeling a bit old and Im kinda starting to want somebody in my life. Maybe Im growing up...dunno! haha!

So yeah, being 26 I thought of the dating sites, cause of course, when I was 22 I didnt bother! But now..I dont have time, and I kinda wanna have a lovey dovey in my life...I thought the dating stuff would work..but...I hear those websites are scams most of the time...and that you usually dont get nothing out of it, so Im a bit reluctant...they are pretty expensive also...they take advantage of you!!

Are you singer songwriteR? I mean..do you sing and play guitar or piano? If so...I would encourage you to play wiith more people. A singer with a guitar usually attracts old people or drunks (I´ve been there, haha), but a BAND attracts young and sexy girls (been there too, actually Im still there, haha)...so just go to Craigslist and put up an ad. Jam with drummers and bass players and get your songs together, and start playing better venues (not bar & grills haha). If you succeed send me a demo..I might produce your first album someday ;) ha ha!

Leave your novel aside and write good songs...write about your ex...thats the money maker right there ha ha :D Use all this crappy ex bull for something productive. I know I have done so...I have made a couple of songs that are on the lists right now and soon I´ll be making money thanks to my ex :D ha ha! I´m gonna love her again when that happens :p

lol! Well if you must know, I have a couple of friends who met their true love on a dating site called lavalife. They are so in love now, so it does work trust me. =P

Ya I'm a singer songwriter. I wrote a few songs with my guitar but it does sound kind of dull being just acoustic. Actually grew up in a musical family. Im considering on writing a song on the piano too. Its actually really hard without a band though.

I ll post up some ads to maybe starting a band. If you ever start a label company, I'll send some demos to yah =P I wouldn't mind attracting young sexy girls but I'm kind of looking for love not girly fans XD

Haha imagine if my ex hears a song about her on the radio. Her expression would be priceless and her friends would be like isn't that the guy you left to be with someone else? Lol It would be nice to make some money off her XD

Haha imagine if my ex hears a song about her on the radio. Her expression would be priceless and her friends would be like isnt that the guy you left to be with someone else? lol It would be nice to make some money off her XD

Now that'd be fun noney , hope it happens for you pal :cool:

Now that'd be fun noney , hope it happens for you pal :cool:

lol thanks M =P

I did promotions for a local poetry promotions gig for a few years before I moved. We went all over the place, art fairs, museums,(we got kicked out once because we don't do censored and they didn't tell us it was a censored reading we were invited to, awesome story) we did coffee shops, any number of events, and of course, the awesome local bar's with the super drunk poets <--. Look into some promotions or advocacy group that is all about the art, trust me they will have a mantra about it, and you will meet some super interesting people who will be anything but boring.

Hey guys it's been a while since I talked to my ex and I missed her so much. Thought I was getting better but I've been thinking a lot about her. Every where I go reminds me of a romantic moment with her. It's hard to believe how things got this way. Don't get me wrong after a near death experience recently, Ive started to see life as something so beautiful but I feel like something is missing. All that I'm after is a life full of laughter.

Starting to think nc is childish. Should I go after her? It's clear I still love her and not over her. One shot at life right? She left me for another guy and didn't bother contacting me all this time. What to do? Some words of wisdom needed. Thanks.

Go back to Page 1 and read again , c'mon noney you know it won't do you any good right??

Head up Pal it'll get better believe me :)

It's just so hard. Came a long way I can see. Really loved this girl with my whole heart. My first love. I find myself crying sometimesnot sure if it's tears of joy or sadness. I've completely accepted it's over, it's just living without her is a big change.

It's not easy I know , if it was this Forum would probably not even be here LOL ;)

You just got to hang tough mate and one day you'll look back and laugh at how you pined over someone who really wasn't worth it.

One life. One shot. If you believe you're tough and ready to walk into the warzone. I believe you should quit NC, go back to her in a fresh manner, show her the side of you she has never seen, be her friend and who knows maybe some day she'll come back. Sometimes maybe its not all about loving and being with that person. Maybe its just loving and proving yourself that you can love them even when they're with somebody. I think you still have a chance as long as the ring isn't on her finger and she isn't carrying no baby.

Hey guys it's been a while since I talked to my ex and I missed her so much. Thought I was getting better but I've been thinking a lot about her. Every where I go reminds me of a romantic moment with her. It's hard to believe how things got this way. Don't get me wrong after a near death experience recently, Ive started to see life as something so beautiful but I feel like something is missing. All that I'm after is a life full of laughter.

Starting to think nc is childish. Should I go after her? It's clear I still love her and not over her. One shot at life right? She left me for another guy and didn't bother contacting me all this time. What to do? Some words of wisdom needed. Thanks.

Words of Wisdom... (accompanied by flutes and breathy new age music )...

You don't need to have someone special in your life to experience, love, joy and laughter.

It is not possible to go back and experience what you have had, no matter how powerfully you may crave it.

Whilst you continue to crave what you had in the past, believing that that was the pinnacle of happiness, you deny yourself the opportunity in the present to move forward and find new happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination - it is not necessary to find love to find happiness and laughter.

... (music reaches crescendo and quietly fades away)...

Buddy, it's like this...

If you go back and chase her, with hopes she will see a different you, it won't happen. You will be trying too hard to win her back, while someone else has her heart. It will tear you to pieces. Forming a friendship with ulterior motives is not the way to go and is a fast track to more pain.

She is with someone else, so all of that energy she put into the relationship with you is now focused on her new BF.

It is best to make a fresh start at new life, rather keep dwelling in the past. I think you originally started NC with the notion that is was a tool to win her back. It's not, although you are not the only person who thought this way... I did too at one point. NC is not easy, but it is the only way to let go.

She is not the only woman out there for you. Sure, it may feel like she was because she was your first. Ask any man or woman (especially married ones) and see how many of them are with, or married their first love. I can guarantee that over 90&#37; of them are not with their first loves.

It's just the way life happens. Life and love are never meant to be easy or painless. We all have to experience pain and hardship to realize what we truly have now!

Give yourself more time bro! It's only been a a few months! My ex and I have been broken-up for close to 10 months and I still think about her all the time. She was my first, but I know that she will not be my only.

Have you ever read my thread, it is probably very similar to your situation.

Don't chase her, she has someone else for that. Spend your time making yourself better for your next GF. Notice I said NEXT, because there will be someone else who comes along!

It will pass, just get busy.

Thanks for the encouragement guys.

I've been listening to a few songs that is kind of persuading me to go chase after her even though my head tells me it's a bad idea.

Time to change the music.dont set yourself up to be miserable.

Yes change your music line up. Songs that get you thinking about the ex are the worst. The best songs are the ones that pump you up and have lyrics that make you take them off the pedestal.

So Happy --Theory of a Deadman

Beautiful -- 10 Years (this one sound deceiving, but you have to listen to the words)

Runnin' Wild -- Airborne (one of my favs very AC/DC like)

Stay away from country... I've been incorporating more country music in to my music portfolio. I'm very selective though... a lot of songs that are out get me thinking. That's why I stick more toward the heavy rock.

Im starting to get into the heavy stuff like breaking benjamin. They are awesome but at the same time there are many well written love songs. Lol

Well, shelve the love songs for a bit until you get to a point where they don't bring back such powerful memories. For a while, I was constantly avoiding certain songs on the radio for the exact reason you are writing about today. It was tough because me and the ex were always going to concerts. So a lot of my favorite bands brought back some memories. I think back now, and I am sort of glad that some of those concert memories were always a little hazy...

Sometimes you just have to avoid certain things until you are ready to deal with them again. One day you will hear one of these songs and not change the track/station. After it is over, you will realize that it doesn't affect you anymore and can look at that as one of your moving-on milestones!

I went to see Breaking Benjamin concert a while back. They canceled at the last minute, because the lead singer got into legal trouble my city. LOL!

Im out here alone, trying to get home. Im starting to think there is no life after her. All I'm looking for is happiness, with or without her and I've been searching and found nothing. I think all that still matters is love ever after. I don't know what I'm talking about, just going on. What do you guys think?

Happiness I think we need to find within ourselves.and the past IS the past.sometimes we allow our memories to haunt us.think about h o w you can make today a good day for you.

All im looking for is happiness, with or without her and i've been searching and found nothing.

When you stop desparately looking for love it will find you.

Your still young , so start doing things you enjoy doing , stuff you can't do when your attached to someone.

This way you'll become happy in yourself and it'll show in your happy positive attitude :)

Im out here alone, trying to get home. Im starting to think there is no life after her. All im looking for is happiness, with or without her and i've been searching and found nothing. I think all that still matters is love ever after. I dont know what im talking about, just going on. What do you guys think?

What does 'happiness' mean to you? I think that you're smart enough to know that other people are rarely the providers of happiness - it IS something that we need to find within ourselves.

Having said that, happiness is not a state of being - it is a state of mind, and for many of us it is fleeting. Why don't you focus on ACCEPTANCE of what you're feeling now. It may be that you just need to accept that you're unhappy, at this point in time, and to stop searching for something that is currently unattainable.

It is the striving for something that you're unable to achieve, that's making you unhappy. This will probably sound very 'Zen', but instead of trying for something that you're not achieving, can you just try to 'BE'?

If you can accept the way you feel and not judge it, you might just feel OK.

Im out here alone, trying to get home. Im starting to think there is no life after her. All im looking for is happiness, with or without her and i've been searching and found nothing. I think all that still matters is love ever after. I dont know what im talking about, just going on. What do you guys think?
I tell you what I tell everyone in your position, set goals and make 'em.


Im starting to get into the heavy stuff like breaking benjamin. They are awesome but at the same time there are many well written love songs. lol
Well, Down is on tour again, they're arguably the last good southern metal band still around since Pantera's Dimebag was killed. If you haven't heard them, definitely check them out, especially their first album Nola.

At least to me, music is very important and is one of the few things in life that never gets dull and can always change my mood.

None, try going out with some buddies, have a couple beers, and talk to some girls. Just say hi and start shooting the breeze with them. Maybe even ask for their number. It's time to start being a little proactive in your healing. Don't desperately search, but keep your eyes open.

Have FUN with friends! You won't feel so alone then.

Hey everyone. So today I went on my Facebook which I haven't for a while and I checked my inbox and look what I found? A message from my ex's best friend.

What?? You befriended everyone including me?? And blocked on msn? Wordddd. Well. Have a great life then. -.-

What should I do? I feel guilty. I deleted and blocked my ex and all her friends. This message was sent in the middle of June so its been a while but I didn't read it till now.

Noney
You get on with your life and stop worrying about what your Ex or her friends are doing or thinking.

It's out of your control so just a complete waste of energy worrying about it.

Mid June?? A bit to late to cry over spilt milk.

HIT DELETE.

M the thing is I befriended all her friends, and she sent that message to me. Do I ignore it and go on with my life?

Im trying really hard to go on with my life.

Yep you leave it alone , when your over your Ex you can recommunicate with the friends if you so feel like it.

At the moment this is all about you and how your healing , not about their feelings.

If they're worthy friends they'll understand.

Im trying really hard guys. Is it true you can only fully get over someone when you find someone else?

Nope... because in so many cases, when a person is with someone else, they still have feelings for their ex and their current relationship suffers from that, one way or another.

You are only really over someone when you are really over them. Only you know when that is

Im trying really hard guys. Is it true you can only fully get over someone when you find someone else?

Not at all , in fact a lot of people believe that and only end up hurting someone else for their own selfish needs.

Healing takes time , so you need to help yourself heal quicker by going NC etc. and not living with false hope , and worrying about silly 2 month old messages on FB etc. ;)

okay guys thanks a lot for the support. I've say I've come along way, its been so long since I talked to her I forgot how long its been, starting to forget her number, care less but there are still left over feelings, I think its been a little more than half a year. Talking to girls again =P

That's good man... keep it up...

In time you will really be over her and you'll know it... but you can tell right now you are not totally there yet, but you are doing fine... :)

Hey guys, its been almost a year since me and my ex broke up. I don't need her in my life anymore yet I still think of her and get sad sometimes.

I also feel a little embarrassed of how I reacted when she told me she didn't want to be with me anymore but I guess it doesn't matter since ill never see her again, that is if I keep NC and because I was in love.

Sometimes I think that all that still matters is the love and laughter I shared with her which tempts me to break NC. And sometimes I feel like I will never be around her anymore cause of what she did to me. Im not really sure if there is life after her. What do you guys think?

I know there is life after an ex...

No matter what any guy thinks, not just you in your situation, there is always life outside an ex...

The world doesn't stop because you broke up. It keeps going and there is a lot happening everywhere. You just have to open your eyes and see it...

LOL... nothing wrong with cherishing the good times noney , just don't dwell on them , but remember the bad times as well , they were there and you just have to remember the lesson you learnt from those for your next relationship.

And "Is there life after her" Of course there is , so look forward to when that arrives and think of the great times ahead , it'll happen when you least expect it buddy ;)

Hey Noney, why so down? Something else going on?

What I think is that, yes, life does go on and you know that.
I also think that after a long time has passed that our minds only let us remember the good times, which makes us want that back. We miss it. It's normal.

You've given a lot of good advice on here, so I know you know that life does go on. You've loved and learned. You have an experience. You'll have more. Good and bad.

The one thing about life that will never change is that it never stays the same.

Hang in there, Noney.

LOL............nothing wrong with cherishing the good times noney , just don't dwell on them , but remember the bad times as well , they were there and you just have to remember the lesson you learnt from those for your next relationship.

And "Is there life after her" Of course there is , so look forward to when that arrives and think of the great times ahead , it'll happen when you least expect it buddy ;)

Lol OK M! you would think that I'd learned my lesson by now and the cost of love, I paid that price long enough but somehow I still I drive myself right through the pain. I don't know why XD

Hey Noney, why so down? Something else going on?


Nope nothing else is going on I guess life just isn't going the way I expected with my career, relationships and social life but I'm trying to make that happen.

That's life noney and everything happens for a reason. As the old saying goes , "when one door closes another one opens" But you have to let the first door close first ;)

Patience, patience.

Think of life like an amusement park, so much to see and do. So exciting. Some rides are our favorite and we want to go on them over and over. Then the ride is shut down, removed or we're just sick of it and we have to move on to something else. Some rides make us sick and we know to stay away from them.

Right now I guess you could say you're standing in line for a ride you've never gone on yet, so you don't know what to expect, you're anxious and bored and missing your favorite ride. (No pun intended with "ride". Also, I'm tired and this may be my lamest metaphor ever; sorry.) Good night, Noney.

Everyone has ups and downs. I feel them everyday. It a normal part of life. We remember things that were good and want them back, but like everyone else said, more of these times will happen. When they do, be sure you realize they are!

Wow... Today I was boredz so I decided to read my whole thread and realized how far I have come. Its been well over a year since the break up.

I don't think of my ex anymore and if I do I just stop and think and just go on with my life as if nothing happened. It doesn't hurt anymore and I'm too busy with other stuff going on with my life.

Unfortunately, nothing is going on with my "love life" which is quite upsetting at times but there are so many other things that I would rather have right now. I guess being single is convenient for me right now but I wouldn't mind if I found somebody right now.

The other day, I was out with a friend for lunch and we talked about my past relationship and he just mentioned to me that a good ending makes a good beginning. It got me thinking that me and my ex never had a good ending and perhaps its time to fix that. Unfortunately, contacting her would be the last thing I would want to do ever. What do you guys think?

I think you made your own good ending by getting through and past your breakup.

It's good to know that you're feeling fine.

As for being single, I'm sure you'll meet someone new-maybe when you least expect it?

This is a good ending. It is a good ending because you are now getting on with your life, like you should be.

You are walking off into the sunset on to your next adventure. I couldn't write a better ending myself.

Good for you Noney , I love happy endings :)

From memory I think we all predicted you'd be fine ;)

Yeah, keep moving forward. Why would you even want to break no contact? Seems strange. It's over. Keep moving forward! You are still going. Look at all the positives and stay focused!

Good for you Noney , I love happy endings :)

From memory I think we all predicted you'd be fine ;)

Lol M, sometimes happy endings are sad. I think this might be one of those. You guys did predict I was going to be fine, at first I didn't believe but now I am a believer! Lol.

Unfortunately I think this book does end here, now my life is just another pointless chapter that does not deserve to be written. :(

No buddy
You just ended a chapter not the entire book , the next chapter will be better as long as you learnt from the last one ;)

Okay man! But I am confused as to where to go from here, everyday just seems like routine and there is nothing that makes me want to get up from bed in the morning. Lol

It also gets pretty lonely since I don't have much friends to keep me company. So yah I'm not sure what to do...

Try to make more friends-there must be people you out there that you like and who like you.
How is school going?

Yes, change what you know. Your bad habits.

You're right, you're routine that isn't working, and didn't.

Meet people, all people. Not just girls. Cool people.

Loneliness is all in your head.

And yeah, don't look at this as pointless.

Look at it as learning and growing. As we all do.

Focus on what's making you happy, get rid of the rest.

Wow, I've been away and have to catch up. Sorry you're feeling like the book has been written, read and stuck on a shelf. Hope you're feeling better.

Listen, I could tell you what you already know from the previous threads, even ones where you've given great advice, but I don't have to.

I know it hurts sometimes. I'm alone again, too. Seems he wasn't who I thought he was, or who I wanted him to be, etc. etc. But, life goes on.

So, alone again am I. But you know what? I'm probably twice your age and there's no way my book is finished. No way at all. I may be "alone" for the next six months or the next six years, but there's a lot more to put in my book no matter what. It's called hope, Noney. I know you have it.

I also know how it feels to want to share your life with someone else, someone to enhance what you've already got, so I do feel your pain. BUT don't you dare get all down in the dumps and having pity parties. That's no fun. Hope all's well. Good night