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tene08
Jul 11, 2009, 04:43 PM
I'm 17 and I lose my virginity the third month of my relationship with my boyfriend at present. I must admit the first time was very scary for me. I still wish I was a virgin right now and I wish my first time was with a virgin as well but he lost it when he was 11 yrs old. When he tells me stories of his past sex life, it hurts me because I wanted both of us to experience the first time together but I can't change that now because my virginity is already gone. Looking back now, I think he forced me to do indirectly because it was a little hard for me to say no at the time. I would not advise any teen girls to have sex until THEY are fully sure that's what THEY want to do not their boyfriends. My question is: Is it normal for virgins to want to have sex with virgins as well and why is my boyfriend's past sex life bothering me so much?

jaimie02
Jul 11, 2009, 04:51 PM
It is definiately normal.

And anyone would be bothered by his story telling.

It probably makes you slightly self conscious and kind of jealous.

I don't think it's a bad thing that you feel that way though. You need to discuss this with him and explain to him that you feel this way.

I think three months was way too soon, but it can't be undone, so just discuss it with him.

And remember, if you don't want to do it again. You don't have to. No matter what he says. He needs to understand how you feel and be supportive.

I think it virginity and sex is generally more meaningful to women than men. It is a bigger deal for us, I think.

Like I said. Just talk to him.

Good luck

danielnoahsmommy
Jul 11, 2009, 04:52 PM
Its normal.. Just because you have already had sex does not mean you have to have sex again. You can abstain.

N0help4u
Jul 11, 2009, 05:04 PM
If you love him enough and he loves you you should leave the past in the past.
If he loves you then he should respect you and not make you feel obligated to having sex before you are ready.

You probably feel the way you do about 'virgin wanting virgin' because if you are a virgin and you understand the concept then you realize you are saving yourself for the special one and you have every right to feel that you would want to be with someone that 'saved' their virginity for you.

There are books that would be helpful for you and your boyfriend to understand this better

Why wait
Amazon.com: Why Wait?: What You Need to Know About the Teen Sexuality Crisis: Josh McDowell, Day: Books (http://www.amazon.com/Why-Wait-About-Sexuality-Crisis/dp/0840742827)

The Silver Ring Thing
Home (http://www.silverringthing.com/)


Reborn virgins (for people that wish they were still virgins)
Reborn Virgin (http://www.rebornvirgin.com/oath.html)


http://www.amazon.com/Reborn-Virgin%C2%AE-Women-Catherine-Lewis/dp/1425730779/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247357161&sr=1-1

tene08
Jul 11, 2009, 05:07 PM
Jaimieo2 u are so right I agree with everything u said and I do talk to him about how I feel. We still have sex but once a month and I think that's good at this time in our lives.

ScottGem
Jul 11, 2009, 05:28 PM
There is no normal or abnormal in this area. Many virgins do want their first time to be with someone who is also a virgin. Many others would prefer someone experienced for their first time.

As to why his past bothers you, there are any number of reasons.

s_cianci
Jul 11, 2009, 05:36 PM
I also seriously question the truthfulness of his claim that he lost his virginity at age 11. That sounds a little far fetched to me that an 11-year-old would have enough testosterone flowing through his system.

tene08
Jul 11, 2009, 05:49 PM
I also seriously question the truthfulness of his claim that he lost his virginity at age 11. That sounds a little far fetched to me that an 11-year-old would have enough testosterone flowing through his system.

It does sound a bit untrue but some young children are very curious and want to learn way before their time. Also, if children constantly hear adults saying don't do certain things they might do it to find out why if an explanation is not given

N0help4u
Jul 11, 2009, 05:53 PM
I remember when I was in my teens and early 20's lots of guys said they lost their virginity to the babysitter (or whoever) when they were 11 or 12.

tene08
Jul 11, 2009, 06:01 PM
I remember when I was in my teens and early 20's lots of guys said they lost their virginity to the babysitter (or whoever) when they were 11 or 12.

In his cases, the girls were the ones who asked him to have sex not him and I am really surprised by this because I know it's normally the boys.

N0help4u
Jul 11, 2009, 06:04 PM
At 11 it is the older girls that do the enticing.

tene08
Jul 11, 2009, 06:21 PM
At 11 it is the older girls that do the enticing.

True because one of the girls was 17 and he was 12