Here is chapter one


Chapter One: Party in Miami
The name is Brett, I live in Louisiana, am 17, and am the product of an alien project. You see, almost one year ago, an alien race we call the Dieds invaded Earth. They used a chemical on hundreds of humans, and I am one of them. The chemical messed with our DNA, giving us all special abilities. Dieds' mind-controlled us to think Earth was our enemy and were about to send us to attack, but, right before they sent us, a strange force killed their leader. This force also made the Dieds erase all of Earth's memories, but they couldn’t erase ours. They sent every single one of us home to deal with our abilities on our own. It’s going to be one year tomorrow, and we are scheduled for an eclipse and a field trip to Washington, DC. Now it’s 6:00 a.m. and I am just waking up for school.

*Ring* *ring* My cell phone rang. "Hello," I said.

"Hey, dude! Can I get a ride with you to school?" (It was my friend Tim.)

"Are you seriously asking that?" I asked.

"Come on! I'm trying to be normal for a change," Tim said.

"Why?" I asked. "Why not just teleport to school? I'll call when I get there. I'm running, and it won’t take long."

"All right," Devon said [I thought the call is from Tim.] and hung up.

See, I have several powers. I can fly and run at super speed. I went downstairs and told my mom I was going to school. I walked out and used my super speed to run there. I went into the locker room and called Tim. As soon as he answered, he teleported into the locker room. You see, like me, Tim has powers. He can teleport and sense the abilities of others.

"You ready for tomorrow?" Tim asked.

"I went last week," I said. "A girl sent me a message on MySpace."

"So you went see her?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, she’s a meta-human too. She saw me in Hawaii and California a couple of times."

"She look good?" Tim asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Her name is Hollie."

"Oh, cool," Tim said.

We went into the gym and waited for other students to get to there. A few minutes later, our biology teacher came in talk to us.

"What's up, Mr. P?" I asked.

"Are you going with us to DC?" Tim asked.

"Yeah," Mr. Peter said.

"How are we going to be roomed?" I asked.

"You two and Victor," Mr. Peter said.

"All right," I said.

Just then a busload of students piled out.

"Hey, guys! Did ya'll see that game last night?" our friend Victor said, sitting down by me. "I had front-row seats."

"How?" I asked.

"Ha-ha. I teleported," he said, laughing.

"You're gonna get caught," Tim said.

"They might see me, but they can never catch me," Victor said.

"Hey, dude. That’s my line," I said. A couple of minutes later the bell for first hour rang.

(After school Tim and Victor came to my house.)

"How about we go to the beach?" Victor said.

"Ya'll go," I said. "I have to pack."

"All right," they said, and in a blink of an eye they were gone, so I started packing.

(30 minutes later)

My phone started ringing.

"Hello," I said.

"Dude, get to Miami Beach," Victor said. He sounded kind of worried, so I ran at super speed to Miami Beach until I found Tim and Victor.

"what's wrong?" I asked.

"Look," Tim said, pointing to the water.

"It's a guy surfing," I said.

"Look closer," Victor said. "There is no board."

"So he's a meta-human that can surf without a board," I said. Then the ground shook. "What the hell is that?" I asked. I sensed two other mutants.

Tim said, "That guy by the cabin has fire manipulation, and the other by the stand over there has earth mani."

I walked over to the guy with fire mani. He was talking on the phone.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing," the boy said to me, then continued his phone conversation with, "Do it now. Somebody is on to us." He hit me and started running.

"Come on," I said and used my super speed to get in front of him. The earth shook again, and I fell. Then the guy in the water made a super wave, crashed it into the shore, and hundreds of people got flooded.

"Tim, Victor, save as many people as you can," I hollered. I called Hollie while I was in super speed helping a lady out of the water. "I need help in Miami," I told her. "Save as many people as you can."

"Okay," Hollie said and hung up. A few seconds later I saw another flash helping people. After a few minutes we saved all the people we could.

"Hollie," I said, "this is Tim and Victor."

"Hi," she said.

"You can go now. I’ll call you later," I said. "We have to catch those three meta-humans."

"Okay. Bye," she said and disappeared.

"Where are they?" I asked Tim.

"They are in a park," he said, "about 5 blocks from here."

"Let's go," I said and ran to the park where all three of the boys were sitting at a picnic table. "Hey!" I yelled. They turned around laughing.

"Yeah," one said.

"Ya'll could have killed all of those people," I said.

"Yeah, we tried," another said, laughing.

Then I used my super speed to run and grab one, flew up with him, and dropped him from about three stories. Right before he hit, I grabbed him, then dropped him from a few inches.

"Dude, stop!" he said. "What I said we did that because TMH was there."

"What is that?" I asked.

"Terminate Meta-Humans," the boy said. "My name is Josh and they were tracking us all day."

"That’s Matt and Austin," Josh said.

"I'm Brett. That’s Victor and Tim."

"My wave wasn’t suppose to hurt the civilians," Matt said, "but Austin's earthquake was timed wrong and messed me up. We’re sorry."

"It's okay," I said. "Well, I'm going home to pack, guys."

Victor said, "Me too. Later," and they both disappeared.

"Is ya’ll's school going to Washington, DC?" Josh asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Ours is too," Austin said.

"And some other meta-humans we know are going also," Josh said.

"Maybe it's destiny," I said.

"Maybe," Josh said.

"See you guys later," I said and flew back home at super speed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was knocked out

(8:00 that night)

My phone started ringing. "Hello," I said.

"Hey, you never called me. I started to worry." It was Hollie.

"Oh, sorry," I said. "When I got home, I passed out."

"That's okay," she said. "So where are we meeting tomorrow?"

"I don’t know. We'll have to wait and see," I said.

"Okay. Well, text me and let me know." Hollie said.

"All right. Bye," I said and hung up. I tried to go back to bed but was disrupted by a flash of light and a big bang in my bathroom. I got up and picked up a bat. "Who's there?" I asked.

"Put down the bat," a voice said. "I'm not going to hurt you. A guy walked through the doorway, and I dropped the bat.

"No freaking way!" I said. "How can you be here?"

Here is chapter two



Chapter Two: Eclipse

The guy that I was looking at now looked exactly like me “you are me” I said
“yes, I am you from the future” the man said
“how I asked I don't have any time power“,
“not yet you don't but you will, Im coming to warn you about a war on it's way“.
“What war” I asked
“listen” he said “tomorrow there will be an eclipse gather all the meta-humans at one place every single one of your powers will be evolving. You will get the ability to absorb others powers to use at your own will whenever you want, Tim will get the power to control metal and victor will get the power telekinesis. Tell all the meta-humans to get ready for the war”.
“When” I asked.
“I cannot tell you that” he said.
“oh come on, then who are we dating am I, umm we, us whatever married to anyone” I asked.
“I can't tell you that either” future me said.
“when did I become such as ” I asked.
“how was I such an idiot” future me said “look it's coming and ya'll need to get ready especially you.”
“why me” I asked.
“Because you have to be the leader and lead the meta-humans in the war” future me said.
“Who will we be fighting?” I asked.
“The meta-humans from Iraq are being controlled by the dieds new leader, Sendor to attack the United States army” he said.
“Okay we'll be ready” I said.
“okay I will see you in the near future” future me said and disappeared.
I went lay down and fell asleep at 12:00 midnight.

(the next mourning)
I woke up at about 8:00am Friday, and the bus for Washington was leaving in one hour so I jumped up and got all my bags together and ran down stairs.
“hey mom I'm leaving for the bus at school I'll see you Sunday afternoon” I said
“okay bye she said I love you.”
“ I love you too” I said and ran out the door.
I got to school at 8:05
“You slept late I see” Tim said laughing.
We sat on the bus together and Victor behind us with another meta-human, named Grant, who has the power to make copies of himself.
So I told them about the night before.
“I have an idea” Tim said. “Lets text every meta-human we know to meet at one place for the eclipse.”
“yea, let me call Hollie to give us an address.” I said and pulled out my phone.
*ring*, *ring*
“hello” Hollie said.
“hey it's me” I said.
“what's wrong” she asked
“ I need an address for all the meta-humans to meet tonight” I said and told her the whole story again.
“okay, there is an abandon building at 169, Bush St.” she said .
“okay thanks” I said “I'll send you a text and can you bring some paper and a pen. Bye.”
“im going to send you guys the message and ya'll send to all the meta-humans ya'll know” I said
(This was the message I sent)
Meeting under the eclipse tonight, at 12:00. 169 Bush Road in the abandon building send to all meta-humans you know.
I sent it to all the meta-humans I knew and so did Tim, Victor and Grant.
Later that night we got to the hotel at about 11:50pm
“okay let's go people” I hollered “we're here aren't ya'll tired from sitting on ya'll butts for that long, wake up sleep in the hotel beds”
Finally we got in our room at 11:55.
“okay let's go” I said throwing down my bags and opening the door.
“where do you guy's think your going” it was Mr. Peter out side the door
“we were just going down to get a drink” I said
“Please” Mr. Peter said “I know where ya'll going.”
“we can explain” I said
“you don't need to, I already know” Mr. Peter said “I also got the text message so ya'll go ahead but be careful”
So we walked by him and went into the elevator then from there Tim teleported us to the abandon building
We walked in and there was hundreds of kids in it. So I flew up and hollered “excuse me, my name is Brett and I called this meeting to warn you about what's coming, in a couple minutes our powers will evolve, and I'm sure you all remember the dieds, they all nodded, well there new leader, Sendor is mind controlling the meta-humans to attack the United States, and we have to be ready to defend our country” I said now hollering even louder with adrenaline.
Now it was exactly 12:00 and the eclipse was full, kids started falling, hollering, and shacking. I fell and got really cold, then hot, then a headache and a bunch of other things at 12:01 it all stopped.
“before you leave if I can get your names and addresses that would be great
Just give it to Hollie at the exit of the door.” I said “ I'll be passing around to practice with you all.”
About 10 minutes later all that was left was me, Tim, Victor, and Hollie.
“so do ya'll know what your powers are?” I asked
“no I don't” Tim said.
“okay I'll tell ya'll” I said “Tim you have the power to control metal, and Victor you have telekinesis.
“how do you know?” Victor asked.
“future me told me” I said
“what do you have?” Hollie asked.
“I have the power to absorb others powers to use at my own will at any given time” I said
“that's awesome.” Victor said
“let's go back and get some sleep, so we're not sleeping at the museum tomorrow” I said
“hey I been wondering” Tim said “what are the TMH”
“TMH is a secret origination that hunts meta-humans” I said
“why do they still remember us” Tim asked
“I don't know” I said
Well let's go Victor said and we all teleported back to the hotel and went to sleep.

I think you've got a nice premise for a story. What you might want to consider doing is integrating the plot into the story, rather than telling everything up front. Instead of going directly into the details of the experiment, you may want to tease the audience with some normal teenage stuff, and then slowly explain what the experiments are all about. There seems to be a lot of dialogue, so breaking up the dialogue with details from the program will help the story along. It seems like a nice idea, though. Keep working on it!

Cooooool

Thanks jinx I'll try to do that