Ok so here it is:
Im 22 and I was wit a man for 2 and a half years. We are very young so had lots of fun at the start and we fell in love quickly. We spent all our spare time together and I fell pregnant after only 5 months together, everything happened so fast. We had a baby, bought an apartment together. Both of us were working full time and den he lost his job, we were depending on my money to pay for mortgage, bills etc. and we started fitin a lot over money (he tought money grew on trees), doing things together and everything else really. We wer never insecure about each other, we always thrusted each other. Then at Christmas he took drugs, drank potchin, whickey, vodka and more and we had a massive fite (his sis told him I hit her when I didnt) and he samshed up my car, our 40 inch TV and de apartment, my brothers retaliated and smashed his 2 cars up. I was absolutely distraught and wanted nutin further to do with him or his family. After a couple of weeks of him trying to text me and ring he showed up at de apartment, he came in the balcony door before I could lock it. He was crying so much about how sorry he was and he's going to get help as he's depressed and needs to talk to someone. I got my sister to pick me up cos I didn't want to hear it and left him with our son. When I got back he had photos of us all over de place and was really crying hard which made me upset. He promised me everything, he went to de docs, was prescribed anti-depressents and talked to her about his feeling. He bought a new TV, bought me a new car and everything seemed OK. The only thing was I didn't fully forgive him and he could not forgive my brother for smashing his cars. I couldn't have my brother around him and we are very close. Any time we argued hed bring my bro into it and I would get very angry. The arguments got really bad and in April he moved into the other room for a few days. On April 7th I learned that he had befriened an english girl that he had been getting horse ridin lessons off. They were constantly ringing and textin each other. I automatically tought he was cheatin and went histerical at him. He blanked me as if I meant nutin and this went on for hours through the night. I checked his email and she had been emailing him. I sent her an email saying she has ripped my family apart, she said they were just friends. The next day when he was in work I packed all his stuff and went to my brothers. I came home the next day and he had takend the TV, surround sound. I was absolutely inconsolable. I begged and begged him to cop on and back but he refused and said he didn't love me anymore. He went to england, over to this girl for a week without telling me. I was constantly on an emotional rollercoster, I hated him, I loved him. Anyway he came back saying he was sorry and swore high and low that him and her were just friends and nutin ever happened between them - he just needed to get away from all the fitin. We have been on and off since then, and have been saying some terrible things to each other. I kissed someone last week as I truly believed at the time we were finished for good and I was txtn a lad I met in Monaghan. He found out about this and went mad, he was crying again and promised me everything - that wed be happy, we'r a family. The only thing is - I have real thrust issues with him now as I can't believe he was in england for a week wit sumone and nutin happened. He has always been a family man and I really want to believe him and thrust him. Anyway then last week he went huntin and left his phone at home, I tried ringing and textin but got no reply. Automatically I tought he was out with sumone else and sent terrible texts to him. We wer den finished again. I told him I was going out to get myself a new man and have s*x all over our apartment (jst words to hurt him). I am now sorry as I did not mean any of these things and I just want him back. He told me he was with someone the other night and I am terrified I will lose him for good to her!
What can I do?
ps. Excuse my spellin - I'm so used to txtn.

Wow, drop this fool right now.

Time to worry about yourself and the kid. Do you really want to crawl back to someone who leaves you so easily? You cannot hold onto him, but you can hold on to your respect.

Leave him! You don't need him. You got to be strong for you and your kid. You need to tell him to take his walk.

This relationship is toxic. I would not want my child around something like this. Look at what he will learn. Sounds like you have some thinking to do about what steps to take. There's no sense in being in a relationship with someone that can't be trusted either. It never works out.

Thanks for your comments! It's not that easy though, we have a child and an apartment together. I have been OK in the past and said that is it, I don't need him and have tried to get on with my life and not contact him. Then he comes back crying and begging and I end up taking him back for it all to happen again. I have been going to councillin over this to, my dad is also in hospital dyin and he's only 50 which is very hard also to deal with my relationship falling apart and dady dyin. He has dimentia.

Unfortunately, no one said it would be easy to leave him. If it was easy it sounds like you would have already done it. A lot of times the right decisions are hardest to follow through on.

Good for you, going to counseling. That's a step in the right direction.

I believe you need a lot of time alone. I am not saying that you should not ever go back to him, but you need time alone to find yourself and calm yourself. You also need to tell him you are sorry and you didn't mean everything you said. And yes you do need counseling as you seem too emotional.

The drama in your relationship is unhealthy for everyone but most specifically,your son is being exposed to this negative atmosphere and it is unfair to him.He is an innocent victim.

If you think there is anything to salvage in this relationship,you should seek out counseling and live separate until you can behave like adults and discuss your issues,instead of acting like children and creating a poor home environment for your child.You are a role model for your son and he will mimic your behavior,the good and the bad.

His needs should be met first and foremost.