Threads merged for the whole story.

Ok... not like me to be talking about girls :P but hey... I have recently met a girl who is 14 (same as me) and she is really nice... like supper nice and I normally don't get on with people my age, especially girls :S so... I'm trying to do homework or watch TV... and I start thinking of her... I know when I'm in love (I hope) but its annoying really... I don't want to get hooked on a friend even though she is the nicest person I know. (apart from all you AMHD people!) I'm confused about what to do! Help :S I have never had a girlfriend and I'm not thinking about her like that, I hope... ohh jeez I'm a teenage boy who has no idea who he really is, what a kiss is like, the security of friends or the rollercoaster of girlfriends and frankly I'm completely lost :( I feel sick and my head is spinning, I don't know what to believe and I'm scared that if I speak to her again I'm going to send her running. Help much appreciated!

Sounds perfectly normal :) being 14 your emotions and hormones will not be balanced and 'normal' until after puberty. Which isn't until at least 21. If not later for some boys.

Take a deep breath and remmeber that its not the end of the world, and it will get easier with time, practice and the right girl.

I heard someone say that if you're too scared to speak you lose the one chance you had to speak. Which means that if you don't speak you lost the chance with the person you loved the most they might have even liked you but, you blew it. What you need to do is talk to her about how you feel or you'll lose the one chance you are given.

Just talk to her first and then build up the courage to ask her just don't be silent about it

ask her to watch TV or do homework with you. =)

Well, your in love, and take it from me you will always think about the person you like. But, if you are obsessed with her find out some way how she feels about you. And then, it's the typical teen mag answer, try and get with her. You need to think about how when it happens. And if it makes you feel any better, I've never kissed a boy, and I'm 13. So not far behind you.

Hi! 1st I'd say, you really like this girl and it's mostly normal, what you're feeling. Since I'm no longer a teen, I'm going to have to say, when I was your age (sorry), I didn't really want a boyfriend either. I thought it was too much of a "rollercoaster" as you put it.
Have you thought about what would change between you and this girl if you were to tell her how you feel? Are you prepared to accept her as "just a friend" if she doesn't feel the same towards you?
It is a tough decision that has some negative outcomes but, how will you know if you never tried? Take your time, think it over, and the 1st answer is usually your best bet. Good Luck and don't stress, there's plenty of time for that in your 20's... lol.

Well you definitely like her. A lot. And I know you're confused, but, as hard as it is, try not to over think the situation.

Just go with the flow. What happens, happens.

Just hang out, be a little flirty, and try to read her signs a little. Eventually, after you really know her, see what happens.

Maybe tell her how you feel. If she likes you, she might beat you to it.

Good luck and just relax. And take it from someone who knows, do NOT let it interfere with your school work. That just leads to many more issues.

OK so... I'm texting her and she says I'm cute and sweet... I'm not exactly obsessed with her, just a little out of my depth :) I don't want her to get hurt by putting her in an awkward situation. I want to love her :S but I don't want to be rejected so my emotions stay locked away. I'm barely friends with someone and I immediately want more than maybe I should. I feel pathetic that I can't just stay friends with someone after they show me some respect and kindness. I feel like I'm a user already! But I know I'm not... I'm so confused :( please... need help

I know you feel like you are in love, but really, love comes with time. Love takes quite a long time to actually develop. At 14, you are infatuated. This is normal for someone your age.

Girl advice from someone who don't know diddley about girls, but has had a few girlfreinds
First, if a girl says your cute and what ever you allways, allways say something cute back, at the same time you got to be grateful, and throw in a compliment "awwww :P thank you! Your cute too"
2nd, all the confusion and anxiety, normal, its normal maan, nothing to be so worked up over, just play it cool, be subtle, ask her if she wants to hang out, but only after you get to the friendly mutual flirting, but don't get in the friend zone, because then shel think of you as her guy pal, and that... Well it absolutley sux if your trying to date her
Also, your 14, isn't love, your not falling in love, I don't even know what love feels like quite to its fullest, we all say we do, but wer young man, and stupid. Its puppy love. But if its gets to where she says she loves you, say "i love you too" but wait, there's a difference bettween love, and love with some girls and its, so if your texting her, and you flirt enough, but remember, it has to be mutualflirting, and she says " i luv you" either reply "aw, i luv you too" or "ily too" right , right!
Also, be cool, be confident, but don't look like a jerk, don't show off, and be yourself

Just Happens at this age ! Because it happened for me too!! You just need not worry about it! Just be the way you are . And in the later stage of life u will just turn back and laugh! How funny !

Life is Short !
Live it Up!

Well... we are texting like crazy and then she stops for a little bit and I ask her why she stopped and then I realised that I had been texting her nonstop for the last 4 days and apologised. She said "yeh you need to leave me alone more - not cus i want u 2, jus cus its normal to and i can't afford it! lol xox" and... I'm a little stuck... did she feel like she was pushing herself past friends or did she feel I was being excessive? I can't bare the thuoght of losing her as a friend, I have just opnend up to sumone for once in my life and they have been really kind to me but here I am putting it all on a knife edge that is wobbling towards dispare :( I don't know how to set things straight again and if I lose her now its just going to make me more insecure and more reluctant to be outgoing and positive :( help! Everything is happening so quickly... I'm going to wait for my feelings but I need to sort this hicup out first :S

Just ease up on the texting a bit and see where it goes from there. I would ask her if she'd like to get together, study or whatever you want and see what she says. Texting is nice, but hanging out in person if you get the chance is way better.

Texting costs money
Not every one has unlimited

Be yourself! You are bright and funny and very mature for your age.
Be who you are and understand that she may be feeling the same confusion that you feel.
Relax and know that it is highly unlikely you are going to scare her off.
Let her set the pace if that is a major concern.
I think you will do just fine.

well... we are texting like crazy and then she stops for a little bit and i ask her why she stopped and then i realised that i had been texting her nonstop for the last 4 days and apologised. she said "yeh you need to leave me alone more - not cus i want u 2, jus cus its normal to and i can't afford it! lol xox" and... im a little stuck... did she feel like she was pushing herself past friends or did she feel i was being excessive? i can't bare the thuoght of losing her as a friend, i have just opnend up to sumone for once in my life and they have been realy kind to me but here i am putting it all on a knife edge that is wobbling towards dispare :( i dont know how to set things straight again and if i lose her now its just going to make me more insecure and more reluctant to be outgoing and positive :( help!! everything is happening so quickly... im going to wait for my feelings but i need to sort this hicup out first :S

A good alternative to texting is AIM or an of the other chat /text services,provided she has Internet access of course.

She has MSN hotmail but she is on holiday at the moment... I hope your right Artlady, thank you for the support. I know she likes me as a friend, I'm sure of that and that is more than I anticipated, maybe I should just be thankful with what I have? She hasn't had a boyfriend, people have asked her out and she says some of them where nice people but she says she didn't really like any of the people that asked. She wants someone who is loyal and loves her lots... I can... but I'm lacking on the other things she hasn't mentioned like looks... maybe she doesn't care much about looks... :S please help I'm not sure to go forwards or back

You seem to be doing OK..
Just remember if she does not text back it could be she has no credit or her phone is being charged,don't assume the worst!

Let her enjoy her holiday,you could send a quick message saying hope you enjoy the holiday(unless you already have!).

Maybe when she gets back you could ask to hook up.. not a date.. just go out somewhere,going with a group of friends will help take the pressure off,and also you may get some feedback as to what she's thinking.

She has MSN hotmail but she is on holiday at the moment... I hope your right Artlady, thankyou for the support. I know she likes me as a friend, im sure of that and that is more than i anticipated, maybe i should just be thankful with what i have? she hasnt had a boyfriend, people have asked her out and she says some of them where nice people but she says she didnt realy like any of the people that asked. She wants someone who is loyal and loves her lots... i can... but im lacking on the other things she hasnt mentioned like looks... maybe she doesnt care much about looks... :S please help im not sure to go forwards or back

I think you just need to let her set the pace a little bit.Tell her you are there if she wants to talk and just try to relax (I know ,easier said than done) and not look so much to what the future holds,no one can predict that.
Enjoy the friendship and see where it goes.

You are right! But now I need to be able to show her that I want to talk, I'm not pressuring and I'm always available to talk to in one text... Hmmmnn any ideas anyone? This has to be good and give her a feeling that I mean it sincerely and it has to be kind of sweet :S any suggestions? Thanks for the advice everyone! :)

And to Redhead... it could be a problem with the going in a group thing because one of the special things about me and Naomie is that she is well, my only real friend. She said she would like to go and see the new Harry Potter film and we had an idea to go surfing sometime in the holidays... she seems positive so I'm trying not to wreck what we have already got.

Ok. Sorry I couldn't wait... I have sent the text and now I'm just going to have to sit around and try to find something to do with myself. I'm embarrised to say that she has completely swamped my mind and I definantly need to rediscover a pass-time! I'm thinking something that keeps me fit and healthy... maybe cycling? Going in the right direction now :) thanks for the help everyone... no doubt I will be back again in 2 weeks (max :P) in a ditch that I just dug and watered! Be prepared :)

I mostly agree with what jaimie and someone said. However, as I AM still a teen (technically =P).

I'd like to say, first off, congratulations, you are more mature than most of these fourteen year olds that say "i no 4 shure i LUV her, you lyeng to me 2 say i don LUV her!".
Second, like jaimie said, DO NOT let her distract you from your schoolwork. No matter what your hormones think, that is the most important thing in your life right now.
Third, sorry jaimie, but only dead fish go with the flow. If you like her, but are worried about having your first girlfriend (I know I was) then don't ask her to be your girlfriend. You can do something simple like start a group night for pizza/bowling/etc. (I did with karaoke, on Thursdays), just spend more time with her (and your other friends). When you get to know her more, you may decide if you actually like her as much as you think you do. Don't be afraid to ask her to something just the two of you. Not so much a date, but just to hang out alone.
Something may eventually become of it, but if you're not ready to have a girlfriend yet, you don't have to. However, if you really like this girl, there are plenty of things you can do together without having that kind of relationship. DON'T go with the flow, and ask her to be your girlfriend just because everyone else is hooking up, you only need to make the next move when you're ready.

PS: You do not need to post the same thread multiple times.
PPS: Oops... my comment on post #6 was supposed to say disagrees... balancer anyone?!

Thankfully I'm clever enough to day dream and do a good job with my Homework :) We are planning to go to the Cinema. So I'm thinking because its along way away I would go and meet her and get on the same bus as her... is this a good idea? :S when we get into town maybe go and get a drink at a nice coffe shop? I'm really new to the whole thing and I don't want to mess it up especially as she has lots of friends and is probably used to something that is 'normal'. We both bite our fingers because of stress etc and I was thinking of getting her a braclet or something to remind her not to? Too cheesy/forward? I could save it till the third time or something. I'm clueless :( any ideas?

Also I should add that when I say Girlfriend I mean it. Not like the stupid excusse 16 yr old boys takeing advantage use. But again entirely new to me. I haven't even had a meaningless hormonal relationship let alone one that I want to keep going. She says she looks for loyalty and compassion but I feel like there is also part of her, a natural part, that wants a guy that looks good and that is what's making things so much harder for me

Listen, school is important, kind of, just kidding its really important. But really what a lot of people don't realice is, so are relationships."How are relationships just as important Mr.noname? Enlighten me!" Well, sir, if you shut your trap and listen to my words, you may understand my logic, "cool Mr. Noname!" I thought I said shut your trap!
In order to understand where I'm coming from, you must be verry open minded. Ok, here goes. Dating, is like trying out what person you are most compatible with. See, as you date on and on, you date girls that are less like the last in some ways, and more like the last in others. Get it?

I understand the theory. But what do you actually do? What should we do when in town? We are watching a film, do I catch the bus? Or meet her there? Do we eat whilst we are there? :S

Threads merged, how about staying on one thread. (sorry, was needing some attention :()

Hmmmm. OK. There is this girl I have been chatting to for the last week or so. We where talking about films and we ended up talking about going to watch the new Harry Potter film. So now I'm looking at bus times and film times but there are a few things I'm not sure about. We have to go along way away to watch the film so I was wandering if I should get on the same bus as her and keep her company. Good idea? When we are there go to a café. Good idea? Watch the film in an expensive or cheap cinema? (im paying but I prefer quality). We will eat afterwards, again do we go to a burger bar or a nice pizza restaurant? I know some of these things are up to her but id like some feedback before I make myself look like an idiot. Im just really nervous and I want it to be nice. :( its my first thing like this, I don't go and watch films or hang out with 'friends' and I'm completely out of my depth before I'm even looking at her beautiful face and listening to her funny stories... blah help would be much appreciated! (sorry about all the questions!)

It would be a nice idea for you to meet with her and ride the same bus. Also it would be nice if you asked her what she would prefer to eat... and you choose the location .

Yes, I definitely think you should ride the same bus. You could meet her at her bus stop and go from there.

I'm with you - there are several theatres where I live, all ranging from "$4 a ticket!" to $12 to the IMAX at a whopping $20. I'm a HUGE stickler for quality... and especially if you're on a first date, definitely take her to the nicer theatre. Not necessarily the "most" expensive, but the most comfortable one. The cheap ones are great for second dates, but probably not the first one.

If you buy popcorn and drinks (best movie food = large popcorn, bag of peanut M&M's. Pour M&M's into bag of popcorn!) at the movie, you will probably not be all that hungry afterwards... what about going for an ice cream or desert and coffee somewhere? Of course, she'll say that she's "not hungry" because most girls have this weird thing that they don't eat on dates! A slice of cake and a cup of nice coffee would be a great end to an evening - complimented by reviews and critiques of the movie!

Have fun!

Ya ride the same bus like a gentleman, treat her but don't spoil her. Above all, be decisive and stick to your decision.

And if you can see the movie in IMAX (I don't know if it's even released in that format), do it. I saw The Dark Knight in IMAX.

Nothing wrong with spoiling! Only start spoiling if you can afford it to continue.

You want a first date to be memorable. So definitely meet her at her bus stop and bus with her. IMAX sounds much better.

As for eating afterwards, why don't you ask her what she feels like eating right after the movie, in case she has a craving.

Ride on the same bus and spend a little extra on the tickets and food. That would be a good idea on the first date. For the most part, you get what you pay for. Quality over quantity.

I agree with everyone else on this. Make sure you don't come up short on cash!!

Once again I am going to buck the trend on the whole "1st Date" issue. There seems to be this stigma that you have to unload on cash and impress who you are taking out... the whole first impression junk? Here are my thoughts:

1. First date isn't really a date in my eyes. It is a meeting. Treat it as such. INFORMAL, little pressure and casual is the way to go. Comfort over anything else.

2. If you two hit it off, then take her out in style, but don't break the bank for someone you barely know.

3. Less is better. What does that mean? The first date is about YOU! Can YOU entertain her as a person, do you interest her, do you act like a gentlemen?? That type of stuff. It isn't about what you can afford, but more or less doing the least amount of things requiring ubber bucks while at the same time being comfortable enough with yourself to show her a good time personality wise.

The first date is about the two of you finding out how much you can talk without boring the other. IF the first date goes well then by all means break the bank the next time, but I will NEVER break a bank on the first date without knowing whether we are even going to like each other...

Goes about confidence. I am confident enough to take a girl anywhere on the first date knowing that I can most often assure her of a good time! We tend to over exude on the first date, and that usually isn't who we really are. I don't see a point in picking an IMAX theater or taking her to a classy joint just yet. Make her laugh, smile and give plenty of eye contact, and also remember it is YOUR job to make her comfortable and open up. If you aren't feeling it after awhile, cut it short and be on your way. Easy enough!

nothing wrong with spoiling! Only start spoiling if you can afford it to continue.
That's the worst advice ever, to spoil is to try too hard and it can be insulting to some; it's a turn-off.

Money won't get you anywhere with a girl, but if she requires it... don't date her!.

EDIT: "Require" meaning she wants you to spoil her, for instance, if she expects you to treat her to dinner at a 5-star restaurant on the first date. My sister is like this, it was no surprise when her boyfriend broke up with her.

People are reading into this way too much. All you have to do is be a gentleman.

He doesn't have to "unload tons of cash", but he doesn't want to come off as a cheapskate either by coming up short on dough.

I think he has a great first date plan going.

Make sure you have fun. If you are having fun, she will too!

Like KC said, if things are not going well, don't be afraid to cut it short.

EDIT: Like slapshot said: Being a gentleman will ALWAYS get further than money. On the other hand, it's comforting to always be prepared as well!

Keep in mind that whatever you spend today, sets a standard for future dates. And if she judges you on the money that you spend, it will just make her a gold digger, which isn't what you want.

Slap makes a really good point. Nor matter how much money you spend on her, the most important part is how well you treat her and being a gentleman.

I never meant to sound like you need to over indulge her. It is very nice to give her flowers, for instance! He is young and I was not insinuating for him to spend a fortune. It was in regards to how slapshot wrote that comment of his.

I never meant to sound like you need to over indulge her.
Well that's what spoiling means.

Now I agree.

Oh... try not to get too nervous. I know it's your first date with a smoking hot babe, but remember she will be nervous too. The best thing to counter act that is to remember, you have nothing to lose, don't expect anything, and she WANTS to be in your company. Light humor is great way to relief the tension.

Good Luck!

Honestly, the fact you came up with the idea of meeting her and taking the bus with her means that you'll do just fine the rest of the date. I'd never have thought of that and I got to say it is really quite nice to hear you put that much thought into her comfort level.

Or maybe I'm just a jerk:)

You'll do fine.

Im hoping not to have problems on the gentleman level. But to be honest she isn't unnaturaly mature but she accepts me and likes me as a person so to me she is something very dear that to lose would hurt me a lot. I don't have the comfort of friends to fall on if... best not to think about it. Money wise I have worked out for the day it will cost at the very most £70 which isn't bad at all. I don't spend my money often so it normally stacks up but that includes 2 meals at a nice Pizza restaurant at the waterside. (too much?) Im glad you think getting on the bus is a good idea because I think she will be more likely to actually go if I am there with her. And we are 14 and no matter how sweet I think it would be to get her flowers I'm not sure she is seeing this as a date. I need to speak to her and safely hint as it more than going to see a film in town. I don't know what to say or what to expect the day was mentioned whilst talking and we haven't spoken of it in depth yet. If I had asked if she would like to go on a date then I would feel different but because its not clear if she would go on a date with me if I was to call it that I'm catching myself a bit. Yes, I know. Its not good to start a day out not really knowing what you want from it but this is the closest I have ever got to well, you know, a kiss even. How funny. :( OK so the difficult bit, how do I show that I want the day to be special without making her feel bad if she says she just wants to watch the film? How do I do it so its less seriouse than a date but more than a day with a friend? I think I have given the impression that I'm confident that she likes me enough to go through but really I'm a wreck but I don't want her to get upset or feel guilty. It's a hard one :(

Actually reading your posts again. I'm sure she doesn't know this is a date. Um cheeky idea let her find out herself? (then if it goes horribly wrong I go off on the whole first time out with a friend and didn't know what to do thing :P)

Ride with her to the movies or not her is what will when her over is a the end of the date,this is very important.
RIDE BACK WITH HER.its your job she gets home safely.and if she lives a block from the bus stop get out and walk her to her door nothing less will do.if the date goes good and you do this she will know you have her safety in mind.

At 14, you are still growing and learning. Just have fun with her. Treat this like you are going out with a friend. Let things naturally progress and if it feels right then it should all work out.

I got return tickets... not entirely sure with the idea of letting it happen :S I'm not confident and I would be surprised if she understood me

Don't force anything. Just go with the flow and have a good time without worrying about this or that. Don't over think the situation. You'll end up working yourself up over nothing. Look at this as an opportunity to get to know more about this girl and for her to get to know more about you.

EDIT: Look at this as an outing between you and a friend.

Wait... I'm confused.

She doesn't know this is a date? But you're taking her on a date and hoping to surprise her? Why don't you just ask her? I'm not sure a "surprise" date is the way to go, especially since you're not sure if she even likes you.

I wouldn't worry about the details of the night (which is looks like you're on the right track anyway) until you KNOW it's a date! Ask her! Don't surprise her!

It would be super awkward if she thought you were just going as friends (because she just wants to be friends) and then you're like "WOO DATE!" Eck. Awkward turtle.

Just ask her.

Yes, if you are going on a "date-date" then it would be a good idea to ride with her.
Does she like the whole "café scene?"
If you're paying, and you prefer quality, go for the more expensive. Unless she has a particular reason to prefer the cheap one, it's a better move.
How long does she have to stay out? Can you make it to the expensive Cinema + Dinner afterwards, or would she get into trouble for being out too late? (or you)
What does she prefer? You don't want to be calling all of the shots, because if you start a relationship, then she may become resentful that you aren't letting her have any decisions.

Good Luck!
I know, the first date is always the hardest! (especially the FIRST first date)

PS: I'm taking my girlfriend to the new HP movie too! XD

Just go with the flow and have a good time....

Sorry, but only dead fish go with the flow. You need to make a path for yourself, or else you will be just like everyone else out there. Just by how much I know you off these threads, I know you aren't that kind of guy.


Also, if she doesn't KNOW it is a date, she needs to know. It's never a good idea to be confused about the date vs hang-out thing, and it only leads to confusion and akwardness. If she doesn't want to make it a date, you are still welcome to take her, and what you do may just change her mind.

Hmmm. Thought that might happen :( yes I know, I knew before I said anything but I hoped against hope. She has her phone off which gives me time to decide to scrap my idea of a date and go as friends or figure out a way of getting it to be more than hanging out. Maybe using the same advice you have given me because what is she going to lose? What's the worse that could happen? I want to make it clear what's happening but I don't know how, I'm trying to pull crystal from the mud :( well we have time to watch the film and get a meal then catch the bus back. I have a game plan for something I'm not invited to yet, silly me. Sheesh god bless AMHD

Hmmm. thought that might happen :( yes i know, i knew before i said anything but i hoped against hope. She has her phone off which gives me time to decide to scrap my idea of a date and go as friends or figure out a way of getting it to be more than hanging out. Maybe using the same advice you have given me because what is she going to lose? whats the worse that could happen? i want to make it clear whats happening but i dont know how, im trying to pull crystal from the mud :( well we have time to watch the film and get a meal then catch the bus back. i have a game plan for something im not invited to yet, silly me. sheesh god bless AMHD

Hey... all hope is not lost, okay? Remember what you told me on my question, "How to Make a Good Impression"? You told me to be confident and to love myself and that confidence is the key. You have to have confidence in yourself, too!

You never know until you ask her. You can do it! Don't get down on yourself yet! You seem to be a very kind and sweet young man... even if she says no (which she would be crazy to do!) there are plenty of other girls that would love to go on a date with such a gentleman.

And you're young; if she says no (again, she'd be crazy) there's plenty more opportunities as you get older to ask girls out!

Good luck!

Ok. I'm hoping but I have to ask right. Right? What do I say? We have to get something to eat whilst we are there because we will be back at 10:30 pm and left at about 2 pm... I'm thinking that we could eat at a pizza place... you can see it here. "http://www.waterfrontexeter.co.uk/index.htm"

Ok. im hoping but i have to ask right. right? what do i say? we have to get something to eat whilst we are there because we will be back at 10:30 pm and left at about 2 pm... im thinking that we could eat at a pizza place... you can see it here. "http://www.waterfrontexeter.co.uk/index.htm"

Asking is the only way you'll know for sure where she stands with you in the romantic sense. You could wait until she says something to you, but there's no sense of waiting for what could be a very long time. So yes, asking, not hoping, will get you where you want to be the fastest.

You could say, "Hey _____, would you like to make our upcoming movie night a date?" or "Would you like to go on a date with me?" or "I was wondering if you would be interested in seeing this movie with me as my date instead of just my friend."

There's many different ways you could ask her! If she says yes, then HUZZAH! Congratulations! If not, don't get down on yourself! It's better to know than spend months or years wondering if she has feelings for you. You can do it!

Good luck!

:) right OK.. that's given me an idea... um "Haha, does this count as my first date then? :P" or something in a text maybe. God... thank you for the help. :D any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated

Instead of does this count as MY first date, how about does this count as A first date? Is it too much to imply I would like to go for another date? :cool:

Editing again... um well if I am supposed to be confident then I'm showing her she is going to want to go again by insinuating. And it talks a little about US. Rather than me, that would make me seem selfish and arrogant.

Hmm... here's advice. Whether it is a date or not, don't worry too much. I know plenty of people haven't had dates until they are much older than you. I personally had my first "date" at your age, and didn't have my first real kiss until I was one year older.

I know, I can tell you all I want, but it can't change what will happen. Just have confidence in yourself. You'll do fine!

Hmm twist in the story line... just got a txt saying she is well but she has seen the film already! :O so... I asked whether she still wanted to go see something or not... awaiting reply nervously
:(

Hmm twist in the story line... just got a txt sayin she is well but she has seen the film already! :O so... i asked whether she still wanted to go see something or not... awaiting reply nervously
:(

I'm crossing my fingers for you, buddy!

Sadly I don't think this is a matter of luck although I like the odds of heads or tails, its probably better than what I have going for me lol. Empty pit in stomach, must get chocolat bar!

Ok got a reply this morning. She still wants to go and see harry potter with me :) and we are arranging a time, just need to wait for her to charge her phone :S she said when she went to the cinema it was amazing, "best eva" but then she added " well, so far lol x" which is good! I think :P she seems positive about us going but I'm going to wait till she comes back from holiday and we can talk on MSN about it being a date. I'm not looking forward to it :(

Why? Approach this thing with a positive attitude and confidence. If not, she will see right through you and it will hurt your chances.

You have nothing to lose!

Apart from a friend. Yes I suppose I must be positive. I will be fine when it comes to it, she makes me so relaxed and I find it easy to talk to her. All will be well no matter what the outcome.

Ok... we are going to talk on Saturday, what am I supposed to say if she turns really negative about us going? And more importantly what am I supposed to do if she wants to make it a date? Lol I'm hopeless, almost. She tries to get it into my head that she likes me, at least a little, and she gets stropy if I mention me not believing her likeing me. I can't help myself it gives me a really warm feeling that someone actually appreciates me and I'm hooked. Im so lost

Well, have you ever been to the movies with friends before?
If so, then this will be really simple. Just hang out watching a movie like with a friend.

If she DOES want it to be a date, then yes, have fun, but no, don't treat her like she's just your friend. Speak to her in a softer tne. And, if you feel comfortable with it, put your arm around her. I wouldn't recommend trying too much, as this is your first date (if I'm following your posts correctly). If you both like the movie, there is something else you both have in common! Another plus for possibly building a relationship.

Just to let you know, I just got back from the new HP movie taking my girlfriend. She is a total nerd (not saying I'm not, =P) so she paid more attention to the movie than I expected. If your girl likes Harry Potter, chances are she'll do the same.
Warning: There is one good jump scene in it. If you've read the book, you'll be expecting it, but it still may get you. (It got both of us)

Wicked :D ill look out for that! I have been to the movies once with a friend :S it was OK I geuse. It was actually the 4th Harry Potter film funnily enough. I get the jist of the actual day... its what to say after she says yes or no to the date idea, she won't want to hurt my feelings but she won't do it out of sympathy if you see what I mean. What do I say to her if she says yes or no? How do I remain calm about the yes (yeh right :P) or show her that just because she doesn't want to go on a date doesn't mean we can't be friends etc. she seems positive though from what I can glean from her text, she hinted (only slightly) that she was expecting a nice day out. I hope I understood her right... she said the last bit maybe to imply she wants to enjoy our time? I don't know really (best film trip eva, so far... stuff) maybe I'm being a little hasty lol, maybe she thinks its going to be great as friends :S god :( why is it always me! :P

I managed to contradict everything I said I one post. Great :( well this is me at my prime and I'm doing my best

Lol, stop worrying so much!
Well, (IF it is as just friends) just be all like "Woah, that was cool!" or maybe "Wonder how they did that?" depending on the mood of the scene.

(Ladies, don't hate me for this. Go read some of my other posts, I'm not sexist.)
If it's NOT a date, treat her like an equal. True, you are there together, but you are not necessarily there for each other as much as to enjoy the movie. Make the night about the movie, instead of about her.

If it IS a date, treat her like it's a priveledge (sp?) to be there with her. You said you have the money, so ask her what SHE wants from the concession stand before buying anything. Let her choose where to sit in the theatre. Make sure (or at least hope) that she is enjoying the movie.
If she says "you pick" don't worry, simply say something like "I want candy, but you pick the type" or "Let's sit on the left side. Do you want to be closer or farther to the screen?"
It lets her know that you are giving her equal choice in the relationship, yet still able to make your own decisions.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine.
And, I'm sure it'll be her mistake if she doesn't want it to be a date, and she'll be glad it was if it is!

God you have no idea how much that helps... don't blame me if I memorize that or write it on a piece of paper lol. Ok... got it... in my head... all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well. Right sorted. All is well all is well all is well all is well. Done I'm ready... now I just have to stay alive long enough to be able to speak to her :P good good all is well all is well all is well all is well. :S thanks... given me lots of ideas and pointers that I would have definantly overlooked. :D OK, ironic that I'm ready yet I have to wait till either I can ring her or Saturday evening lol :( all is well all is well all is well all is well :P

Hmm... do you realize you copy/pasted "all is well" 8, 4, 4, and 4 times?
Don't ask why I counted...

And, it's all good, lol.
You don't have to do what I suggested word for word. I was just giving examples. Do you like candy? I don't know, maybe YOU like popcorn better, so suggest that? Maybe you want to sit in the middle, or maybe the right side?

In fact, you don't have to do what I suggested at all. If you have any ideas of your own, do them. As far as my experience shows, girls like originality. So, if you can think up anything on your own to do Saturday evening, go ahead. It doesn't matter if it isn't the BEST thing you could do. She's already agreed to go with you, so you know she'll want to see the movie. It's your first date, so something is BOUND to go wrong. (sorry for the brutal honesty) If you mess up something small, it's better than messing up something big. Just make sure you're not late for the movie. It really sucks when that happens.

If you are going out to dinner afterwords... well, I'll let you figure that out on your own. You're a smart kid, you can handle it! I believe in you! :D

Nalla, I think you are seriously over analyzing the situation and psyching yourself out.

Chill...be cool. I wouldn't even stress the whole "is it a date?" issue. Just go out and have fun with the girl.

That's all you need to do is have fun with her. In return she will have a good time with you and everything will be fine.

Don't over think the situation. Don't think like the whole evening is ruined if you forget to do something, like getting the door, or whatever. All of that is trivial to the fact that she is still with you and going out to dinner and a movie.

JUST BE YOU! That's who she wants to hang out with when you are together... not the over thinking, trying to hard to be a gentleman, nervous nelly guy.

You got to be chill, be cool, and don't come off as too strong

Wow this is a lot of advise for one 14 year old to swallow.

I agree with jmw and amanwithnoname

RELAX

BE HONEST

BE YOURSELF

HAVE FUN

BE POLITE/GENTLEMEN


That's all you got to do!! Honestly!!

If you do that, everything will work out for the best!

Yeah... :( well... not everything going to plan lmao. Um talked to her last night till about 5 in the morning and manadged to make a complete mess of it :D then to make it worse I tried to sort it out, making her angry lol. SOOOoo :S the initial answer to the question that came out all wron was "we can't be more (than friends) coz you asked over txt, it wudnt work - different yrs and a lot of teasing (affects you badly), also i dont trust that you wont just up and leave like any other boy -wants more 2 soon. X" yeah... that's what I thought.. but suppose I got to learn the hard way but it's a shame I cocked up on the asking lmao. Right.. so when she is back from holiday I'm going to show her this thread so she can understand what I'm feeling etc. I just ask that you guys give her an indication of what you have learnt from me from my threads and posts. Thanks um... and Naomie... didn't mean for it to get so messy lol. Friday is going to be great if you kept me in a cage or put a brown paper bag over my head. :) Sorry I messed up guys lol... didn't I tell you?

At least I got the little bit that's bound to go wrong out the way lol :P hehe. Ill just sit and wait till... (IF) I have convinced her that I appreciate her as a friend more than anything. I hope you can see that it wasn't easy for me to come "out of the blue" and try my best no matter how much of a jerk you think I am lmao.

I think youl realice life is a whole lot sinpler and less dramatic with out there being girls in your life, your young and right now girlfreinds would be a bad idea

I don't think you should show her this thread.
In fact, I think it would make your situation worse. She'll think you're completely weird and creepy. Don't do it.

Okay, so she said you can't be more than friends---from reading her text, I don't think this is a bad thing. She didn't give you very good reasons of why you two can't take it further, which is expected because she is so young. Anyway, don't get down on yourself. It's seriously her loss.

PS. Don't show her this thread.

Please remember hon, that your both only 14. You are both not quite READY for serious 'love' relationships. Just be friends for now. A year or 2 down the road, if your still friends, then ask to date. You know?

I don't think you are ready because of this very thread. You seem SO SO SO stressed out and worried, it tells me your not ready.


Good luck hon.

"we can't be more (than friends) coz you asked over txt, it wudnt work - different yrs and a lot of teasing (affects you badly), also i dont trust that you wont just up and leave like any other boy -wants more 2 soon. X"

Because you asked over text? I don't understand why that has anything to do with it, especially with your age and how most kids like you communicate.
Different years? I thought you said that you were both the same age?

Trust. THAT is the key factor. She doesn't trust you. Everything else she said was just excuses, not a real reason.
Right now, she only likes you as a friend. Like most girls her age who date, she has learned that most of the guys her age that date are complete jerks. Not all guys, just most. Until she learns that you're not the same, she won't see anything different if you try to be more than friends.

Building her trust will take time. At your age, if you are already interested in girls, you will most likely find another one to fall for before that happens.


"you guys could have adviced me not to worry about trying to make it a date before i was a quaking wreck in my room"
Actually, go back and read. A lot of us said it's all right if you stay friends, don't worry if she says no, etc.


I agree with torrid. Although it does show you don't want to use her, it doesn't mean that it will make her like you any more. I don't think she will call you a creep, because as you have seen, there are plenty of girls your age on this site too. However, it is never a good idea to let them learn how you think... sounds bad but it's true.
One of my girlfriends found this site, learned I was me... not good.

I'm not going to say "don't date, because you are not ready" because no one is ready. You don't need to follow the crowd, give in to peer pressure, or anything like that.
However, the longer you wait to do anything, the harder it will be.
You've already learned that it isn't the end of the world, if she doesn't say yes.



Friday is going to be great if you kept me in a cage or put a brown paper bag over my head.
Are you still taking her to the movie as friends? Because, you the movie was Saturday, wasn't it?

Nah its on Friday night :) yeah... maybe its not a good idea to let her look into me. She has seen my other threads but maybe keep this one from her. All I can do is be her friend and earn her trust. Was totally irrational of me and I was out of order really. Thank you for all your help! I wouldn't have learnt this important lesson without your guidance and now I can go out with my friend in confidence that we can have a nice time and enjoy each other's company. She made me act my age lol. Silly girls :P what to do? I'm going to talk to her and apologise and assure her that Friday will be a great day out :) thanks so much people! Love you all