My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years
We just finished our first year of college together,
And I have moved home to work fulltime
He is still up in college for another year
It literally has only been a week
And a girl came onto him, and he was drunk
And made out with her
The next morning he messages me to tell me what happened and said he thinks we should breakup
I drove back up there so I could figure out what was going on
And he was set for breaking up with me
He told me that he feels guilty with what happened
And he doesn't trust himself when he's with the guys and drinking a lot
And that I don't deserve the hurt he has caused me
And wants to end it before it could get even worse
Now I have been in past relationships that have been ultimately worse than this
So after a lot of crying, I told him that he has literally been the best I have ever had, and that I have never loved someone like him before
I told him that relationships are hard work, and this we can work on
But only if he wants to
At this point, I couldn't stop crying and I could hardly get words out, let alone breathe properly
But after a while, he said at first that he doesn't want the responsibilitiy for hurting me like this.
So I told him that if this is what he wants, he can leave now, and I will go home.
But (we were in my vehicle) he refused to leave
He thought I was crazy that I would want to stay with him after this and after a while, he said that more than anything he wants to be with me, but he just doesn't trust himself
So long story short, we agreed to keep working on this.
I wanted to stay at his place over night in order to talk about it, but he didn't want me to stay, seeing how all the guys he lives with knows what happen, and he said he didn't want them saying anything... which I find very weird
So I went home
And for about 7 hours I didn't hear from him
Its late at night, and everything from the day came back to me quickly and I was rather upset and trying to get a hold of him so I could hear he cared, and to help me put my thoughts to rest. He finally msged me saying his phone died, but he's going to bed, and that he loves me. And that was it.

Am I just being paranoid now or do you think he still loves me? I want to go up again to talk to him in person, but I now work the rest of the week, and can't get back up there until next Sunday.

Aimee I think he just doesn't want to be with you anymore. It sounds like he kissed another girl and liked it and wants to have that college lifestyle which you don't fit in to at this point. He says he doesn't want to hurt you and he doesn't trust himself, because its true. He is straight out saying that he wants to fool around with other girls and party. He seems to be sugar coating it. My thinking is he didn't want you staying there with him that night because there was another girl who was going to be there, or he wanted to be out looking. I think as much as it hurts you might save yourself a lot of heartache and cut that cord now. Be done with him. While he is at college the NC will be easier to do and you will move on. Let him have his fun and you can find someone who will treat you better.

I know how you must be feeling.

Listen to what he is telling you and most importantly go by his actions. He can't trust himself, he can't be what you need him to be. Why would you settle for anything else than what you deserve?
He may love you, but loving someone is just an extension of an affection and doesn't warrant a commitment or guarantee that they want to be with you.
Bottom line, you can't force someone to be with you when they clearly don't.
He expressed that to you, and because you already know he wants to end it, you will be setting yourself up for disappointment, don't expect him to give what you want and need in a relationship because he already told you he can't.

Understand, that if he messes up again with another woman that you can't get upset because you got back with him accepting that he can't trust himself. And he would only blame you for wanting to be with him.

You do realize you just lowered a standard for a loving and committed relationship?
You are willing to sacrifice your own happiness to be miserable, with someone who made it clear where he stands.

I know it hurts but don't be jaded by false expectations, and lose who you are because of the word LOVE, love yourself more honey and understand that you deserve the best. And there is someone out there who would respect you, and love you. Equally.