My heart has been broken and I find comfort reading posts about similar break up stories. I figure I'll post about my own break up story and get some feedback from you guys. Here it is...

My boyfriend (now ex) and I have been dating for 1 and 1/2 year and I thought that he was the love of my life. We were happy together and even though we had our ups and downs, we always found a way to reconcile and be happy again. I felt we were two of the luckiest people because we found love. People who knew us as a couple were always commenting that they're hearing wedding bells. I believed them and started bringing up marriage, kids, etc. We were planning our future together and I thought he was at a point in his life where he was ready too (he's 32, I'm 29).

Well, I'm currently in school and I have to do rotations at another state this year, which means that he and I have to do long distance for about a year. I left him a month ago but we promised each other we'd call everyday and visit often. He cried when he dropped me off at the airport and our farewell was sweet. A month had gone by and LDR is hard but we called everyday and all seemed well. About 2 weeks ago, he was supposed to visit me. He called me an hour before he was supposed to leave to the airport and told me he wasn't coming anymore. He sounded a little panicky. He told me he was breaking up with me because he didn't think it would work out. He told me he's not ready for marriage, and it would be unfair to string me along for another year. He wished me well and told me I should date other people and be with someone who can give me what I want. I was devastated. The call came out of nowhere, when just the day before, everything seemed normal between us. I begged him to come anyway since his plane ticket was set and ready and we could discuss this in person. But he refused, saying that "it will complicate things."

Needless to say, I was shocked, hurt and confused. I called him later that night and asked him to explain his change of heart. He told me it wasn't me; it was him. At first I thought it was just a BS line he was using to spare my feelings. But then he explained more and he told me that he has always gotten cold feet after dating a girl for more than a year (he's had 10 girlfriends before me, each relationship lasting for about a year or two). He knew that the topic of marriage would come up and he'd feel pressured to get married, which he wasn't ready for. His parents are divorced and he told me he didn't want to go through the same thing. He told me I'm the best girlfriend he ever had but he's still not ready to settle down. He told me that he might regret his decision one day because he was letting go the best thing in his life right now.

It's been more than 2 weeks now, and even though the shock has subsided, my heart is still breaking. I still love him and hope he'd change his mind one day. I know it's best to cut all contacts with him at this point but I caved and called him a few times during the first week after our break up. Our conversations had sounded normal, as if we were us again, but he was still resolute in his decision and it hurts me to talk to him when he no longer wants to be with me. So I'm trying really hard not to call anymore and to try to move on with my life. It helps that I'm at a new place and are meeting new friends, but I still miss him terribly and it makes me sad that things ended the way they did. I felt so blindsighted. I didn't know he had so much doubts about our relationship. He has been pretending that he was happy. Either that, or I have been so naïve to not realize he was unhappy and was looking for a way out these past few months.

Thanks for reading... Any pearl of wisdom or suggestion would be greatly appreciated.

That does sound unfortunate but just hang in there. I don't think it really matters why he left you because the point is that he did. There's no point in driving yourself crazy trying to figure what caused him to do this because either way he did it. The first step to moving on is accepting that he is gone. Try not to get your hopes up of him coming back. And if he comes back that's great but if he doesn't just remember you're still going to be okay and you still have plenty of other great things to look forward to in life. Just stick to your no contact rule and give yourself lots of time to recover. Eventually everything will fall in to place so be strong. Good luck!

I'm sorry to hear about your stuation, and it does seem to me (from reading your post) that you have some clear thoughts and feelings about what you can do do get over him.

Of course, even though it will not help your progress to thik about him and what his reasons for breaking up with you are... it has oonly been two weeks since he broke up with you.

1. hang in there. Even if it might not seem like it right now, you can get passed this.
2. You are, as you say, in a new place and you are meeting new people and you are making new friends, which is a really really good think in your situation; seeing as you are not alone.

3. some find it helpful to focus on work/school... so if you find that to throw yourself into the tasks in front of you will help, do that.
4. some find it helpful to start working out (soif you're not already doing this and your schedule allows it, it might be a good idea).

I hope this was of some help! And If you need further advice or someone to read/comment on a rant... we're here!

Best of luck!Roxy

Threads merged

My ex-bf and I were dating for 1.5 years. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago. His reason was that he wanted to sort out his life first -- he felt that his life is a mess right now. His dad is in the hospital with cancer, his grandma recently had a stroke, he himself has some financial difficulties, and he feels overweight. I was devastated because the call came out of nowhere. I knew he was having problems but I never knew it would lead to him breaking up with me. But he needed space and even though I still love him I've been trying to get over him since.

Well, I recently lost my phone. He and I share a family phone plan. After we broke up, he told me I could stay on his plan (he pays an extra $10 a month for my phone) until I can afford to pay my own phone bill when I graduate from school next year. When I lost my phone, I told him about it and he was very sympathetic and offered to help. At first, I told him this would be the perfect opportunity for me to start my own plan since we broke up already. But he told me he didn't mind helping me out and letting me stay on his plan. I accepted his offer and was grateful for his generosity. A week went by and I didn't hear from him. I called him (using my roommate's phone) at the end of the week to see if he took care of the phone but he didn't. He told me he was busy and he'd take care of it over the next few days. It's been another week of me trying to reach him (I called him several times to find out about the status of the phone... ) and he didn't pick up my calls. Last night I messaged him and told him that if I didn't hear back from him by Monday, I'll get my own phone. He messaged me back this morning and told me that he's been thinking about it and he thinks I should get my own phone plan because he's still having some financial trouble.

I don't mind paying for my own phone bill and it's not about the money. I'm hurt because I feel like he's already moved on and now wants me out of his life. He ignored my calls and gave me a short and succinct message as a reply. It's only been 3 weeks since we broke up and we were in love during our 1.5 years of relationship, but I sense coldness on his end. I had hopes that we'll get back together one day, after he sorts out his life, but now I don't even know what he's thinking. When we broke up, he told me that he may come crawling back to me after he gets his life together but based on his history with his exes, he has never gotten back together with any of them. I know he can turn off all emotions if he's determined and he's gotten over some of his exes pretty fast this way.

Does he still care about me or has he moved on for good? How long does it take for a guy to get over a girl he loved?

I think he is doing what is best for him, which he should you have broken up. You should also be doing the same thing, if you are capable, he should not be your lifeline. He is trying to move on which is the reason you broke up in the first place.

Get your own phone plan and work on the break up as he is. Time to work on no contact of your own.

He may have been distancing himself from you emotionally for some time and it just seems like he is over you easily because you *officially* broke up three weeks ago.

He may have been breaking up with you for some time but you may have seen his distance as a result of his family and personal life problems.

Either way,it is time for you to start thinking about having a life without him in it and healing. Best of luck!

The amount of times it takes for someone to get over a broken relationship varies from one person to the next. So there's no way we can give you a definite answer on that.

You listed some pretty major issues he's got going on in his life right now so it's understandable that a relationship with you (or probably anyone else) isn't a top priority. Given what's he's dealing with- let's see: a sick parent, an ailing grandparent, financial troubles, and his own self-esteem issues- it's no wonder that he's preoccupied to say the least.

That doesn't mean he's found someone else. It means that he needs time to deal with his life. Your lost phone is probably nowhere on is list of things to do. He may have really wanted to help you get a new phone but he's got a lot going on. Get your own phone plan; you were planning to do that anyway right? So do it.

He did what was best for him and in the long run you'll see it was best for you too. Because otherwise you could very well be here posting a question saying that your boyfriend doesn't have time for you and doesn't seem interested in maintaining the relationship. Live your life and be glad that he cared enough to let you go.

I believe that he cares for you, but he's not in love with you. You dated for 1.5 years, but it doesn't seem like you were in a relationship. His life is a mess and he's trying to sort it out without you. That's not what a relationship is. If you didn't see it during the past 1.5 years, you should take a good look now.

He may have been distancing himself from you emotionally for some time and it just seems like he is over you easily because you *officially* broke up three weeks ago.

I think you're right. We were doing long distance during the last month that we were together, and during that time, I sensed that he was a little distant with me. I even had a few dreams in which he either cheated on me or broke up with me. I told him about these dreams but he laughed it off. Maybe deep down, I sensed that something was wrong and knew that a break up was going to happen soon.

After the break up, he said that he's been having doubts about our relationship since our one-year anniversary. That means he's been thinking about breaking up with me for 6 months! I just don't understand... how can you tell someone that you love them if you didn't? I asked him if he still loved me (post break up) and he told me he can't say. Did he or didn't he? I feel like the past couple of months that we were together had been a lie.

I think you need to focus on what is. It's over. Your boyfriend isn't looking backwards, and you shouldn't either, you'll only get more hurt because you loved him more than he loved you.

Just because this man spends 1.5 years with you doesn't mean he loves you. He maybe loves being with you so he doesn't have to be alone to face his other problems. That's different. Now that you're broken up you ask him if he still loves you and he can't say. Maybe he means that he doesn't love to be with you and he would rather be alone to face his other problems now.

Don't become a victim by dwelling into the past thinking that he lied to you, or used you, whatever. Learn from this and go into your next relationship with a clear direction of what you want.

I think you're right. We were doing long distance during the last month that we were together, and during that time, I sensed that he was a little distant with me. I even had a few dreams in which he either cheated on me or broke up with me. I told him about these dreams but he laughed it off. Maybe deep down, I sensed that something was wrong and knew that a break up was going to happen soon.

After the break up, he said that he's been having doubts about our relationship since our one-year anniversary. That means he's been thinking about breaking up with me for 6 months! I just don't understand ... how can you tell someone that you love them if you didn't? I asked him if he still loved me (post break up) and he told me he can't say. Did he or didn't he? I feel like the past couple of months that we were together had been a lie.

He seemed to have cared enough to not want to hurt you.

Sad fact is ,that people do fall out of love.

I am sure that he cared for you at one time. Wondering about his feelings now is an exercise in futility.It will get you no where,only confuse and upset you more.You may never know or understand.

The bottom line is that he made his wishes clear and you need to begin the healing process.

There is ample advice on this site to help you with the grieving process and give you the tools you need to make the transition from being a couple to being single again.

We have all been there and I am not trying to make light of how awful it feels but you can survive this and have a quality of life you deserve once again.

Thanks for the advice. I've been visiting numerous break up sites these past 3 weeks and it's what I read before I go to bed each night. It's been helpful. He was my first serious boyfriend and my first love. Hence, this was the first painful breakup I've been in and I'm new to the NC rule. I guess I still have lots of questions about the breakup but like you all said, I have to accept that I may never know why things happened the way they did. I have to try to stop obssessing over it. All I can do right now is accept them for what they are and try to pick up the pieces.

I've been going back and forth between 4 of the 5 stages of grieving: Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. I have yet to come to the stage of acceptance.

Thanks for the support! I will check back often!

Thanks for the advice. I've been visiting numerous break up sites these past 3 weeks and it's what I read before I go to bed each night. It's been helpful. He was my first serious boyfriend and my first love. Hence, this was the first painful breakup I've been in and I'm new to the NC rule. I guess I still have lots of questions about the breakup but like you all said, I have to accept that I may never know why things happened the way they did. I have to try to stop obssessing over it. All I can do right now is accept them for what they are and try to pick up the pieces.

I've been going back and forth between 4 of the 5 stages of grieving: Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. I have yet to come to the stage of acceptance.

Thanks for the support!! I will check back often!

Going from one stage to another is common.Right now your emotions are all over the place so give yourself time and know that there are many people here to listen whenever you need to let off some steam.
Hang tough!

Threads merged

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago and I haven't had any contact with him for the last 2 weeks. I've done the NC thing because I'm trying to forget about him and even though I still miss him everyday, NC has helped. I also recently just got a new phone number, which he doesn't have.

We were still friends on Facebook and occasionally I check his page to see what he was up to. Today I found out that he deleted me from Facebook. I felt so devastated.. I mean, he's the one who broke up with me, and so isn't it my call to delete him from Facebook if I wanted to because I'm the one who's hurt? Why did he do this? Is this his way of telling me that he's really, really over me? That he doesn't want anything to do with me and want me out of his life for good? He's acting really cold and I don't know why.

He told me before that one day he may ask for my forgiveness and we can get back together but now I feel like he never meant that and that there's no shred of hope for him to come back. Him deleting me from Facebook also tells me that he doesn't foresee future friendship with me. We broke up because he was afraid of commitment.

I need a guy's point of view please.. . What's on his mind?

It's over.

NC is not just about not talking to the person you broke up with- it's also putting that part of you aside. You did not do that, in fact you fed your pain by checking him up on Facebook, maybe even looking at his photos, seeing who he's talking to, seeing his status change, seeing if pictures of the both of you have been deleted or not... to sum up you've been bringing yourself down.

It's a good thing he deleted you.

You need to move on. He is.

Sarah

It sounds to me like he's trying to let you know it's definitely over as he may think you haven't got the idea it is yet.

And please...

DO NOT CHECK HIS FACEBOOK

Gets you nowhere and just makes you feel like cr*p , no point in that is there.

Facebook is seriously the death trap that most people who are broken up with fall into.

They like to "check up" on how the person that crushed them is doing. But like Mudweiser said, all they're doing is feeding their pain.

He deleted you from FB because he's not interested in letting you know his business anymore, and he's especially not interested in "asking for forgiveness" and going back out with you.

I'm sorry, Sweetheart.

Don't ask him why he did it through text or any other medium, either. Just accept it, and be thankful he deleted you: him deleting you was exactly what you needed to start healing.

Good luck.

I know I recently uploaded a couple of pictures of myself and my friends. Secretly I hoped he'd see them and get the message that I'm strong and happy even after the break up. I also met some new guys and they added me as friends, which showed up on the news feed.

Is he trying to forget about me and maybe felt a little jealous of my moving on without him? Is that why he deleted me from Facebook? I haven't contacted him in a while and so he wouldn't think that I'm still pining over him. I just don't understand this coldness and harsh move on his part. We were best friends before and I still have a few things in his house that he's willing to store until next February (I'm at a different state currently doing rotations for school). I thought we were in good terms!

I'd like to add that there is this app for Facebook; "stalker" something, and it tells you who has been to your page the most-- chances are he saw you on the list and decided to delete you because of that.

I know I sure would delete my ex if he made the list.

Sarah

I'd like to add that there is this app for Facebook; "stalker" something, and it tells you who has been to your page the most--

Sneaky buggers :eek:

Who knows why he deleted you from FB. It could be the thought of you looking at his profile annoys him, or it could be that he wants you to know that he doesn't really consider you two on "good" or "bad" terms... just no terms at all!

Don't jump to the conclusion that he's jealous about you not pining over him. In most cases, such thinking results in false hope and extreme disappointment. The fact that you were trying to "prove" you were moving on, and hoping he would see pictures and guys on your profile further proves you are not over him. Don't get wrapped up in "what ifs."

And you to need to reevalutate the "best friends" part. Maybe YOU thought you were best friends, but it's apparent that he didn't. Most people, when breaking up with someone else, say, "Hey, let's be best friends!" just so they don't feel guilty for crushing you.

Anyway, don't worry about why he did it. Look at the good that will come from it. You can actually start healing now, and don't have to torture yourself through FB.

It's pretty clear why he's deleted you from his Facebook - he doesn't want to see your face on there! It's tough, but it's true - he's over you.

He's actually doing you a favor, and you will thank him in months to come, but I can understand that it's pretty hard now. As Torrid so wisely says - don't try and second guess him - neither you nor us can know why he did what he did - he just did it.

Get angry or have a good cry (or both). Go to bed with a good book or hide under the doona. Once you resurface you'll feel better and see him for the weasel that he is.

Checking his page is the stupidest thing you could possibly do! It makes you feel a hundred times worse. My friend still does it to her ex and its not only stalkerish but I can see the sadness in her eyes every time she does it. You shouldn't be sad he deleted you, you should thank him in your mind!

I broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated. One of the first things I did--and hardest--was defriending him on Facebook.

I knew I would check up on his FB pages and it would kill me. I knew I would see pics of him and wondering who his new friends were.

I had to do it and I am so glad. I have still seen 2 pics of him via other people's FB pages and it hurt... so I can not image still looking at is FB page.

Every time you check up on him you are picking the scab and it can not heal if you pick it.

For me, my ex broke up with me and I was NC and still am, I was the one who deleted her from Facebook because it hurts too much. That's what you should have done. Don't look into this too much, you were doing NC anyway so why have him on fb?

My ex deleted me too but I am glad because I could not do it. I deleted him on msn though.

Thanks for your input. It really helps put things in perspective. I just don't understand how he could be so finicky as to delete me from Facebook! He used to always boast that he's beyond all that... Facebook, myspace, friendster. And I know that he doesn't really use Facebook all that much. He's barely active on it. I just have a feeling that he saw recent pics that I posted, which consisted of me going to clubs every weekend in Vegas (I'm living in Vegas for the summer but he's in the midwest). He might feel irked that I seem to have moved on so quickly and he didn't want to see all that in his face. When in reality, this is my way of coping with my hurt and loss... and I'm trying to show him that I'm okay and strong. I'm still hurting inside and he doesn't know it because we haven't spoken for weeks. For all I know, he's probably out there partying too.

So to sum, he broke up with me out of nowhere when we were supposedly still happy, he ignored my calls when I tried to ask him to ship my things to Vegas (I stored a few things at his house at the moment) and I had to ask a friend to pick them up from him, and now he's the one who cuts off all types of communication including Facebook. I tried to retain some dignity by doing NC for the past few weeks and I feel great that he doesn't have my new phone number. It gives me some sense of power over him. But now that he's deleted me from Facebook, I feel as if he's trying to hurt me again. Is this what all guys do after a break up? He's very cold and heartless, and it hurts since I used to regard him as my best friend and family just 6 weeks ago. I feel like he's kicking me to the curb and he's quick to throw everything away like it's a dirty piece of cloth.

I know I have to move on and I'm putting on a brave face on the outside, but I think about him every minute of everyday and it's really taking a toll on me.

Him having you on his Facebook he goes to Facebook, sees your pic there, three steps backwards on getting over you. Solution: Delete.

Do you have anybody right now that you can call and ask to go over and pick up your stuff and store for you?
If you have to wait until Feb. tell him to have your stuff packed and ready to go when you get there and take a friend.

Either way you need to asap send him a certified letter with an itemized list/with reasonable used value of the things he has and tell him the month you will be there to pick your stuff up. Keep a copy for yourself and the certified receipt. Then if he won't let you get your stuff you take him to small claims court.

He feels bad every time he see's you on his Facebook. He probably did the same thing checking up on you. I can tell you this because I broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago. I think the same thing... maybe someday down the line we'll be better for the break up and get back together. Maybe he feels that deleting you from Facebook will stop him looking at what you're doing in your life. He can move on without looking back and possibly sometime in the future get in contact when he has a new perspective on life.

My ex bf broke up with me 6 weeks ago and I haven't had any contact with him for the last 2 weeks. I've done the NC thing because I'm trying to forget about him and even though I still miss him everyday, NC has helped. I also recently just got a new phone number, which he doesn't have.

We were still friends on facebook and occassionaly I check his page to see what he was up to. Today I found out that he deleted me from facebook. I felt so devastated.. I mean, he's the one who broke up with me, and so isn't it my call to delete him from facebook if I wanted to because I'm the one who's hurt? Why did he do this? Is this his way of telling me that he's really, really over me? That he doesn't want anything to do with me and want me out of his life for good?? He's acting really cold and I don't know why.

He told me before that one day he may ask for my forgiveness and we can get back together but now I feel like he never meant that and that there's no shred of hope for him to come back. Him deleting me from facebook also tells me that he doesn't foresee future friendship with me. We broke up because he was afraid of commitment.

I need a guy's point of view please. ... What's on his mind??

First off, greenhaven, I'm sorry that you are going through this breakup because I know it is hard. I know the pain of a break-up and it is the worst pain a person can ever feel in life.

You have been doing the right thing by trying to move on and having NC. You shouldn't question why he's deleting you from Facebook because in reality he's doing only what you have been doing, which is to try and move on. I suppose why it is such a surprise to you is because it wounds your ego... he broke up with you and you feel that removing him from your Facebook account is the only thing left for you to control in the relationship and now he's even taken that.

It's impossible to never look back and miss what you once had. But when you see him remove you from Facebook, you may consider it to be a blessing because when you are trying to move on, sometimes it is harder when the one you once loved continues to take advantage of your vulnerability. When your former flame closes the door on you, he is doing you an even greater favor than you may feel for the time being. Since he is not going to contact you anymore, not seeing him or contacting him will only serve you well as you try to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on.

Don't feel ashamed or less than; relationships don't always work out and it's not because you were broken or less than, it's just that sometimes two people need to go their separate ways. In the meantime, spend time with those you love and care about so that you can be healed by the love of those who matter to you.

Grace and peace to you.

Ex boyfriend deleted me from Facebook, why?

He cut you from his life to move on and enjoy himself, and so should you.

Checking up on someone is the worst way to move on in the world, so he actually did you a favor. Take the hint, and return the favor, and stop playing silly games on the net with him.

Trust me hon, I have been through this. My daughters father left us when she was 2 months old (she is 5 now) and a few years ago I was always checking on myspace to 'check up on him'

Until one day I find out he updated for the first time in months. He was getting married. Had a house. (you know the type, the little house with a white picket fence and a dog) his new fiancé was meeting his family (which I never did, after 7 YEARS of being engaged! )

It just causes more heart ache in the end to keep tabs on your ex. Move on. Forget him.

*hugs* good luck hon

Honestly,

This person is an ex. You were really not going NC, because if you were you would not have continued to go on Facebook to check things out. He did the right thing by deleting you from his Facebook. He Should have done it 6 weeks ago, and you should not have kept checking out his profile because it just kept delaying the inevitable and delay you learning to moving on.

Forgiveness for what? Why do you feel it should have been up to you to delete it?

You would not have been devastated if you were really in NC, and not actually checking in with the Facebook all the time to keep an eye on him.

I broke up with her purely for the fact I'm not ready to commit longterm. We've been dating a year and were in each other pockets all the time. She was the first girl I was with sexually as well so it always played on my mind what else is out there. I haven't had the fun of a single life like she has. So in my mind I'm not mature enough to stay in the relationship. I have to grow as a person before I can even think about making a longterm commitment to anyone.

The fact she's only 17 as well and I'm 22. She hasent even been out clubbing with her friends yet and experienced life in that respect. She is quite immature in a lot of ways as she puts up silly messages on her msn such as " "guys name" loves me haha" I mean its obvious she's trying to make me jealous. But I'm 22 I know that game. She is just solidifying the reasons this can't work at this point in our lives.

My ex has just done the same thing and I am gutted. He broke up with me because he was going through some psychological issues (with work) and HE was the one who pushed for us to still be friends... I stopped contacting him after awhile because he told me it was too early for contact and then he went and did this... The thing that gets me is, it's the biggest slap in the face, I was there for him waited 6months while he was OS and I never did anything. Plus he has like 300friends so to go and pinpoint one out is a fair bit of an effort. He has everyother ex on his fbook...

Trus me, he is a loser and he has done this to hurt u, it's the only reason why... dont let him get to u

Facebook is definitely the devil - I didn't even check my ex's profile but it poped up in the side that he was in a new relationship yesterday - Kind of good to know so its not a shock when I run into him -but we only broke up 4 months ago.

I want to delete him but can't bring myself to do it - so I did a few other things. I hid his news feed so it doesn't pop up anymore - I blocked his new girlfriend so that I don't have to see pics of them together or what she is posting on his wall. I also hid the news feed of some of my close friends that still hang out with him, so I don't see their stuff pop up either. Now I'm just only checking Facebook if someone writes on my wall.

I need a Facebook hiatus -and sounds like there are some other people that do too! Go outside and enjoy the summer instead of checking Facebook - maybe we will even make some new friends that way :) You can add them as friends to your Facebook later haha.

My ex (of 1.5 years) broke up with me 3 months ago because of his commitment issues and personal problems (so he said at the time). He gave me the whole, "It's not you, it's me" talk. He sounded so sincere and I believed him. Even though the break up was devastating to me, I'd say it was still amicable. We talked a few times afterwards and we ended on a good note overall. I did NC and was getting over him little by little. About a month ago I found out that he had already been seeing another girl IMMEDIATELY after we broke up and now he's in a "serious relationship" with her. It hurt like heck and I really wanted to confront him but I decided that it wasn't worth it. I didn't want to backslide and I figure that all I would get are excuses and it wouldn't change the fact that we're not together anymore.

So I'm in another state right now and I had all of my things in his house before I moved out here. A few weeks ago, he asked me if he could move my things out. We talked on the phone for the first time after a month of NC. He sounded very short and impatient with me. I was taken back by his change of attitude -- I didn't feel like I deserved any of it. I felt that he could have been more sympathetic since he was the one kicking me to the curb, but he was rude and cold the whole time. The whole conversation afterwards gave me a bad feeling and I resolved never to talk to him on the phone again. It just made getting over him that much easier! I agreed to have my things out but since I wasn't there, I gave him my friend's address at which he could drop them off. When he did dropped off my things a week later, he brought his new girlfriend with him! I heard it from my friend. I felt so hurt because he lied to me and now he was parading his new girlfriend. He didn't care about how it would affect me in case I find out! Again, I wanted to confront him and expose his lies but all my friends advised me not to because it would only give him the satisfaction that I still cared.

It's been a few weeks since the incident and I feel like I'm truly in a better place now. I'm starting to date again and I feel so much happier than I have been since my break up. But today I got a message from Facebook that my ex had commented on a photo of me. I was surprised to get the message because my ex had deleted me from Facebook and I know that he deleted all pictures of me on his page. I clicked on the message, and I saw that it was a picture from one of our mutual friend's photo albums. It was an old picture of the two of us, and on the bottom of the pic, my friend had wrote, "Cute couple." My ex today made a comment on that picture before untagging himself: "Not any more!!!" I was surprised to see that. It's low and uncalled for.

What the heck is he thinking? Why is he being vindictive to me? We ended on an amicable note and during the time that we were together, I was a good girlfriend to him. I treated him well and I never did anything to hurt him intentionally. He's 32 but he's acting like a 15 year old. I feel like he's out to hurt me again and again, as if he hasn't done enough. I'm erasing him from my life. I wish him and his new girlfriend the best but I don't want them in my life. I'm moving on.

Please help...

My ex (of 1.5 years) broke up with me 3 months ago because of his commitment issues and personal problems (so he said at the time). He gave me the whole, "It's not you, it's me" talk. He sounded so sincere and I believed him. Even though the break up was devastating to me, I'd say it was still amicable. We talked a few times afterwards and we ended on a good note overall. I did NC and was getting over him little by little. About a month ago I found out that he had already been seeing another girl IMMEDIATELY after we broke up and now he's in a "serious relationship" with her. It hurt like heck and I really wanted to confront him but I decided that it wasn't worth it. I didn't want to backslide and I figure that all I would get are excuses and it wouldn't change the fact that we're not together anymore.

It's good you held back. No need to confront him- you'll be wasting your breath. Obviously he already had an eye out for the ladies while you were dating and used a sappy excuse to break it off with you. Good thing he's the other girl's problem now.



So I'm in another state right now and I had all of my things in his house before I moved out here. A few weeks ago, he asked me if he could move my things out. We talked on the phone for the first time after a month of NC. He sounded very short and impatient with me. I was taken back by his change of attitude -- I didn't feel like I deserved any of it. I felt that he could have been more sympathetic since he was the one kicking me to the curb, but he was rude and cold the whole time. The whole conversation afterwards gave me a bad feeling and I resolved never to talk to him on the phone again. It just made getting over him that much easier! I agreed to have my things out but since I wasn't there, I gave him my friend's address at which he could drop them off. When he did dropped off my things a week later, he brought his new girlfriend with him! I heard it from my friend. I felt so hurt because he lied to me and now he was parading his new girlfriend. He didn't care about how it would affect me in case I find out! Again, I wanted to confront him and expose his lies but all my friends advised me not to because it would only give him the satisfaction that I still cared.


Well of course he was going to bring his new girlfriend. One it's his new girlfriend and two he knows your friend is going to tell you and he knows it's going to bother you. GOOD think you didn't say anything. Right now he probably thinks that your over him and his little childish games don't work on you. Keep ignoring the jerk. He's a dummy.



It's been a few weeks since the incident and I feel like I'm truly in a better place now. I'm starting to date again and I feel so much happier than I have been since my break up. But today I got a message from Facebook that my ex had commented on a photo of me. I was surprised to get the message because my ex had deleted me from Facebook and I know that he deleted all pictures of me on his page. I clicked on the message, and I saw that it was a picture from one of our mutual friend's photo albums. It was an old picture of the two of us, and on the bottom of the pic, my friend had wrote, "Cute couple." My ex today made a comment on that picture before untagging himself: "Not any more!!!" I was surprised to see that. It's low and uncalled for.


It's not as bad as you think it is. I would untag myself too if I had a new flame. His comment was childish but hey looks like he's the one hurting, maybe having him think that you don't really care is making him do all these retarded things just to get your attention.

Don't confront him. Ignore him. Block him on Facebook so he can never see you nor you can never see him again. It's not a big deal. He's being a big baby about this whole thing. Look you said it your in a better place now, your dating and feeling happier! Don't let this killjoy kill your joy.


What the heck is he thinking? Why is he being vindictive to me? We ended on an amicable note and during the time that we were together, I was a good girlfriend to him. I treated him well and I never did anything to hurt him intentionally. He's 32 but he's acting like a 15 year old. I feel like he's out to hurt me again and again, as if he hasn't done enough. I'm erasing him from my life. I wish him and his new girlfriend the best but I don't want them in my life. I'm moving on.

Awesome! Your moving on. See you had it all figured out yourself. Your smart actually, you haven't confronted him and made a fool out of yourself, you chose to ignore his little remarks and such.

Keep moving on. Block his number. Block him on social networking sites. There is no use in being friends with him or even trying to make the peace. Walk away.

You'll be okay ;)

Sarah

He sounds like a douche bag. Sure you feel hurt - I would too.

The best form of revenge is COMPLETE silence. Ignore him and treat him with the contempt that he deserves.

If you expect nothing from him then you will have no reason to expect anything.

Keep moving on. He's part of your past now.

Greenhaven,
He did not love you as much you assume, and he broke up with you to see another girl. Stop letting him to hurt you. You are a nice person who made the break up amicable, but he does not even appreciate your effort. He has no consideration for you, and has no intention to come back to you. Leave him alone to keep living like a jerk.

It does not matter what you say, what you talk anymore. Thank god, you found out the 'real person' in him before you wasted too many years, and move on.
Do not look back. It is not worth to think about him, or think about the possibility to going back together. Why do you want to be with the jerk and get hurt? Spend your time and energy for better person who deserve you. Cheers!

Please keep all the questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

It doesn't matter what he's thinking. You need to BLOCK him OUT of your life and pretend as if he doesn't exist. If you keep thinking about him, it means you're just holding on to the past. Stop looking back, look at what's in front of you.

Check out the suggestions in these two threads:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/fighting-urges-break-nc-rules-351302.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/list-things-do-after-breakup-78597.html

Went trough the same thing one year ago. He is engaged with a kid on a way (he sorted out his life pretty quickly once he met the right person for him). The bottom line it is broken because you were not right for each other. And love has nothing to do with it very often. Stuff like that happens all the time. You will get used to it as you grow older. You will think of it as another broken dream, cry a bit and then move on. Just keep hoping one day you will meet the one and being with him is going to be easy and happy, and you will thank the guy that he had broken up with you. I am sure he cared for you a lot, he just did not see you as the one.