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Amie501
Jul 1, 2009, 08:28 PM
I'm a first time mom to be. The baby girl is due in August. I wasn't dating the father, it was a one night thing, but we kept in touch. I told him I was pregnant shortly after my first doctor's appointment, and he has denied the baby is his. I went to school with his sister, so I have kept in touch with her, and she is very supportive and believes the baby is his. Without sharing too much information, this was the first person I had a sexual relationship in 1 year so it is his but he doesn't believe me.

Now onto my question. He is refusing to sign the birth certificate until he has a paternity test. How can we go about doing this, and how long will the results take? I'd also like to file for child support as I live with a roommate and money is tight. I really would like him to be in his child's life. The thing is, he said if it is his, he wants the baby half the week. I plan on breastfeeding, and have been reading about how pumping is not as effective as a baby actually nursing and it can cause supply issues. The lactation consultant I spoke with recommended having the dad come visit 2-3 times a week to spend time with the baby, or drop the baby off at his house while I run errands, or do one pumped feeding, and let him take the baby a little later one night a week, and she's seen that work before. And then I'd work out a different schedule once the baby is fully weaned, one that includes an overnight or an extended weekend visit. Is that possible? Reasonable? And what is a typical visitation schedule for a father of an infant? I want to be as fair as possible, while meanwhile still being a typical overprotective new mom. I can't seem to find any info on visitation schedules for an infant of an unmarried couple.

Fr_Chuck
Jul 1, 2009, 08:41 PM
Ok, first get a attorney

Next nothing can be done till the baby is born, as soon as the baby is born, you file for custody and child support.
If he wants the DNA test, he can file in court for the test prior to the hearing. Test has to be ordered though the court to be binding to the court.

Next, I don't like the boy visiting in your home a lot, often this leads into the "babies daddy" syndome where he things he is also visiting you also.
But for a new born this is often done, with often a third party present at the visits.

A couple times a week is more then enough and should be no issue with the court. And I don't know of any court that will give him 1/2 the time for a new born, even up to at least age one. He may get one overnight a week ( you can pump milk) but most likely not for a couple months,

All of this has to be in writing, and approved by the judge. He has no rights to anything until the custody agreement is signed off by the judge.

But I have a question, in one part you say he does not want anything to do, then he wants visits 1/2 the time.

You can no force him to visit, if he wants nothing to do with the child, there is no way to make it happen