Edited for some really bad spelling, any one else have spell check??

Hello everyone, well I have just found out my boyfriend has cheated on me ( kissed another girl at a nightclub ) , I found this out because I went on his Facebook account and the girl herself told me as she thought it was my boyfriend she was talking to!. he has been texting her after a night out bla bla.. he denies it still every time I ask him he gets mad and says if you don't believe me don't be with me, but I know he kissed her, but I love him so much I just can't let go or leave him, were going on holiday next month abroad, its at such a bad time , I'm torn apart,and I'm only young but he is my life even though he's sly I can't help but run back to him. I've heard rumors he's cheated before but I just can't leave him. I don't know what to do... WHY won't he admit it to me when I have the evidence,WHY is he still lying? We have bin together a year and a half I really thought he loves me , he says he does,but why cheat?

HELPP!!

I'm so confused everyone says leave him,but I can't I love him so much its making me mad:| I don't sleep or eat and I'm so down. But when I'm with him I'm happy but I keep thinking god you've cheated then it brings me down again!


Any advice...


X

He said it himself, if you don't believe him then leave him. In my opinion that's what it's time to do. Of course it's easier said than done but why would you want to be with someone who cheated on you and instead of trying to make it right he's lying to you? Get rid of this loser.

he is my life even tho hes sly i can't help but run back to him.

any advice.....



Time to get a new life, that makes you happy, without someone who isn't trustworthy at your side. Time to rebuild, time to define yourself and time to grow up. The time is NOW!

Good luck!

Please use spell check with proper English


he deneys it still everytime i ask him he gets mad and says if u dont belive me dont be with me

He's right, if you don't believe him, don't be with him. Simple as that.


WHY wont he admit it to me when i have the evidence,WHY is he still lieing?

Because admitting it would make him the bad guy. Why would he want to be the bad guy?


We have bin 2gever a year and a half i really thort he loves me , he says he does,but why cheat?

He doesn't really love you as much as you think.


im so confussed every1 says leave him

Everyone is right.

If you don't trust him, then there's no relationship. If you stay with him, your relationship will just be a lie. Make a clean break so that you can stop your pain and suffering. You deserve better than this.

And what exactly is it that you're holding on to? You said he's sly. He kissed another girl at a club. He's texting her. You're sure he's cheated before.

This isn't love. This is obsession. Not healthy. Loving someone doesn't make you crazy. It doesn't have you checking a Facebook account searching for clues. There is no trust here.

Don't be in a relationship with someone that brings out this side of you. And certainly don't stay with someone for the sake of an upcoming vacay.

And certainly don't stay with someone for the sake of an upcoming vacay.

Another good point that I forgot to mention!

I think your paying to high a price just to have someone. Love shouldn't be that hard. Ever think your more into him than he is to you.

Come on you can do better with less heartache.

Tal, your siggy line speaks volumes here:

Having a relationship should be a bonus to your life and should not be the only reason to be happy.

So your staying with someone because you can't leave because you love him so much. Do you know how many times I heard this?

He kissed another girl then talked to her via text. He cheated on you in the past--come on. You can't get upset with him because you allowed yourself to be treated this way.

His past behavior will be his future behavior. He will always denied and get defensive when you ask him about his evil ways but again you allow it.

So since you stated you can't leave have fun with this guy who cheats on you time after time. There will be another girl and he will bring you a lot of grief and misery. However, you can always do the smart thing by leaving after all this is why you have feet.

As well he is really secretive with his phone which I c y now seems as he's texting other girls. But I don't understand why he can't tell me , why dus he wna stay wif me and cheat? Surely if he didn't like me he would end it?. I know it sounds stupid that I can't walk away because I love him so much but it's the true I don't know why I can't let go , I'm so confussed , why does he choose to stay when he wants to cheat?

aswell he is really secretive with his phone which i c y now seems as hes texting other girls. but i dont understand why he can't tell me , why dus he wna stay wif me and cheat? surely if he didnt like me he would end it ? .. i know it sounds stupid that i can't walk away becuase i love him so much but its the true i dont know why i can't let go , im so confussed , why does he choose to stay when he wants to cheat?

Because you let him get away with it. Why throw you away when you clearly let him do whatever he wants? Sounds like an easy situation for him.

Would you do this to him?

If you answer no,then why are you with someone who would?

The thing about love is,it's give and take,never expect more then you can give.

Therefore find someone who won't cheat behind your back,yeah we're all jaded here,but some of us know when it's time to walk away,because as you said,it starts to make you physically sick (been there) can't sleep,eat,parinoid etc

It cycles to emotional abuse,just by keeping this person around.

It is very very very hard to walk away from,but I can tell you one thing,he does not love you,never did either.

Love under NO circumstances,cheats,hurts,and lies.

And if he pulls the 'let's be friends' do you honestly want to be friends with someone with morals like this?

I guess so . And I know everyone will think I'm stupid but I do love him ! When I therten to finnish it he really seems he doesn't care , maybe he's playing the big boy act , I don't know?. nothings changed between us though I thort everything was well until I found out he dun this!! :(

I totally understand what you guys are saying. But if he didn't love me why would he stay with me that's what is so hard to believe?. I even have dreams / nightmares about his cheating and yet when I try and tell him I'm not happy he just says don't b depressed all the time ! I know I know and I really do know I should leave but is it silly that I can't because he does make me happy when there's no rumors or no one saying things and its just us 2 ?

i guess so . and i know everyone will think im stupid but i do love him ! when i therten to finnish it he really seems he doesnt care , maybe hes playing the big boy act , i dont know ?? .. nothings changed between us though i thort everything was well until i found out he dun this !!! :(

You thought everything was well? How so? You said you were already suspicious of his cheating and you'd heard rumors so it was already in your head before this even happened. And my speculation is this wasn't the first time you'd checked his Facebook page.

You threatened to leave and he seemed like he didn't care. There's your answer. He doesn't.

Plus he knows you're making idle threats so he has no incentive to straighten up.

It's just my 2 cents. I suggest taking it and buying a bus token away from this guy.

He stays with you either because

1)he's using you for sex
2)you are his 'if these other girls don't work out she's always here for me'
3)ego boost because he has low self esteem,and you make him feel bigger every time you cry.

Trust me I know these types of guys.

And you might say 'if I walk away well... then will he care'

The answer is no,these type of guys never care because it's not 'macho' shows 'weakness' and the third reason is because they already have chicks on the side

That is actually why they start to get chicks on the side WHILE your dating... so if you guys break up... he's on top.

He stay because he got a fool who puts up with his behavior, so why leave? I wouldn't put up with this--no way.

You think this is love but it isn't. Maybe one day you will wake up but today doesn't seem like the day.

I know but its differnet if you knew him, why would he buy me everything , spend all his time with me, (accept for when he goes to the pub ) see I just don't understand, I want him to just stop it , I want to just be good enough for him ! :(

By the way the only way to get back at a guy or even a girl who is acting like your boyfriend does (typical player)

Is to walk away and 100% NO CONTACT.
And you have to MEAN you don't care.

By that I mean,no hateful letters (he will get an ego boost and a laugh from those)

No "i miss you" texts/emails/or calls

^ I can promise you his response will be something short like "ya ok sure g2g"

No walking in front of him at school/work with some new guy or anything to make him "jealous"

^ Guys like this can see right through that,and in a way you're still giving him attention


Act like he's dead,and if he comes around apologizing,finally for once in your life you have control.

And if he doesn't come around.

You still have control by not kissing his a** for forgiveness or starting to beg for answers.

i know but its differnet if you knew him, why would he buy me everything , spend all his time with me, (accept for when he goes to the pub ) see i just dont understand, i want him to just stop it , i want to just be good enough for him ! :(

Gifts do not make it a great relationship. That's the job of TRUST.

i know but its differnet if you knew him, why would he buy me everything , spend all his time with me, (accept for when he goes to the pub ) see i just dont understand, i want him to just stop it , i want to just be good enough for him ! :(

Because you are naïve,immature,and possibly young or at least inexperianced.

Why did he do those things?

Because they worked to get you,to manipulate you.

Why do pedophiles buy kids candy? Same concept

Not everything he did to you that you think was 'sweet and loving' was.

He.is.a.cheater.

i know but its differnet if you knew him, why would he buy me everything , spend all his time with me, (accept for when he goes to the pub ) see i just dont understand, i want him to just stop it , i want to just be good enough for him ! :(

He could be a nice guy or he is just spend his money on you because he is guilty. However, a cheater is a cheater and his behavior can't be erased.


Don't start thinking your not good enough because he cheats. This is what happens when you stay with a guy like him--your self esteem starts to go down.

Right now your young and acting dumb because your in love--nobody can tell you nothing because you don't want to hear it. Hopefully one day your wise up or he is will leave you before you wise up.

I am just wondering if you can answer me this question

I think it would give the entire forum, a better idea to help you.

What would he have to do for you to say 'thats enough I'm done'

Do you even have those boundries on him?

I guess its true there not the things I long to hear . He's just perfect though even though he cheats.stupid I know!! I don't know how I've let myself to get like this!

I really don't know what it would take for me to say that's it its over... he does what he pleases because he gets away with it, I could slap I'm hit I'm I really could be I could never hurt him because in my heart I love I'm so bad . I'm only 18 so yer I'm young stupid niave and a pratt but surely I didn't think love could take over my life?? So I really don't know?x

i guess its true there not the things i long to hear . hes just perfect though even though he cheats.stupid i know !!!! i dont know how iv let myself to get like this !!


Perfect and cheat doesn't even fit in the same sentence. If you didn't have any doubts and if he was the perfect boyfriend than this conversation wouldn't even be going on.

If someone can't put their heart in a relationship they have to take themselves out of it.
If you keep allowing him to be a cheater than it is your own fault if you get hurt.


IF he was truly "in love" and happy with you he wouldn't cheat.

I know I'm allowing myself to get hurt but that's y I don't undertsand why I won't leave him??

i know im allowing myself to get hurt but thats y i dont undertsand why i wont leave him?????

You know the answer, or maybe you just like to be cheated on. Or maybe you love him more than you love yourself, and that is the big problem.
Fear of being alone, of being rejected, many things makes us accept intolerable behavior. But if this continue I can guarantee that you won't be happy for long.

You're making him your priority when you are an option to him.

I guess I do love him more than I love myself?. but he sweet talks me and I fall in love all over egen silly I know!. I think I've lost myself in this relationship but I still need and want him?

i really dont know what it would take for me to say thats it its over... he does wht he pleases becuase he gets away with it, i could slap im hit im i really could be i could never hurt him becuase in my heart i love im so bad . im only 18 so yer im young stupid niave n a pratt but surely i didnt think love could take over my life ??????? so i really dont know?x

If he cheated on you completely as in (Slept with) someone else

Would you leave him then?

If not the problem is with you,and not him.

Personally I have the lowest self esteem ever and I was also a teenager with my ex,and after dealing with emotional abuse,emotional cheating,internet cheating

One day it progressed to physical and honestly

That got me over ever wanting my ex back where as before I would forgive and forgive

But in your case

How can you look at him or kiss him knowing he's kissed someone else?

That cheapens everything,so in retrospect every kiss you have from that point on,really means nothing as 'him kissing other girls is OK and means nothing'

Guess even if I found out he slept with someone else id probably try and forget it happened or I heard it!? Bt he just won't admit it when I know he's kissed her.. but maybe it was 1 mistake? And he doesn't wna tell me?

guess even if i found out he slept with someone else id probly try and forget it happened or i heard it !?? bt he just wont admit it when i know hes kissed her..but maybe it was 1 mistake? and he doesnt wna tell me?

Okay after this I'm done. What difference does it make if he tells you or not , you already made up your mind you want to be with him.
So at this point you accept this behavior, why are you asking questions to us in which you should be asking him. And you continue to make excuses for him.

Turn the volume up on your intuition, and listen.

guess even if i found out he slept with someone else id probly try and forget it happened or i heard it !?? bt he just wont admit it when i know hes kissed her..but maybe it was 1 mistake? and he doesnt wna tell me?

You have no self respect,and this relationship is starting to seem borderline abusive.
18 is not THAT young,it's old enough to live and learn and rationalize.
If you were 14-16 or something I could understand (yeah two-four years actually does make a difference in the teens)
If you believe it is OK to cheat then is it okay to hit someone in a relationship?
They are both abusive behaviors
And since you see no problem with one,I'm not so sure you would condone the other.

He obviously has a tight grip on you,but you need boundries,or you will fall into the victim role (you're already there actually)

Denial and defending him are actually signs of

Stockholm syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome)

Yeah but like I'm trying to say I'm in love with him and I'm young so I'm going to be trying to protect what I have I guess?. my point is I just wna know WHY can I leave him ? Y do I keep letting myself get upset

It just messes my head up and I still love him?

Maybe he's your first love and that's why you can't leave?

Maybe he's all you've ever known of love?

In no way am I saying your relationship is special,it's abusive.

But see that's the thing about abusive relationships,you feel you aren't good enough to leave,or good enough to stay,so you stay in uetero hoping he will change,meanwhile the lies get bigger,subtle insults start

And before you know it,a domestic violence case.

yeh but like im trying to say im in love with him and im young so im gna b trying to protect wht i have i guess ?... my point is i just wna know WHY can i leave him ? y do i keep lettin myself get upset

You are obsessed or infatuated with him. Because you are breaking the cardinal rule to any relationship and that is

Self love. That is why you keep loving him as if he is the best thing since sliced bread.

I can guarantee based on guys I've known in the past,that the more you push him for questions,the more he will push you away,tell you to 'shut up' 'stop being parinoid' 'it was nothing' 'why don't you trust me'

And then you start feeling like the idi**,you start feeling like the crazy one,you start doubting yourself (Which you are because you posted this forum)And yourself esteem lowers

What comes next?

He will lift it up,with apologies,they will never be long,just short and to the point.

If he really still wants you around,he might even cry in front of you (which obviously means nothing) it's all manipulation because he will do the same things over and over

Once your trust is built up again,he will knock it down.

I guess I am obsessed with him I feel the need to ring him all the time and text him and talk to him and I cry when I'm not with him and I miss him terribly even when I just leave him!?

57373... I totally agree with what you say every time I ask him he pushes me away he's like shut up I didn't kiss her your paraniod your werid you are are you going to believe her over me... truth is she thort it wus him she was talking to so she can't have been lying... hw can he look at me though and tell me he loves me when he nos he's kissed someone else? I wna make I'm have a concience make him think I should tell her but nothing I say to him makes it happen

Poor thing, all those feelings, and you just don't know what to do with them. We here are only trying to protect you from some serious hurt that's all. We all know your feelings are so intense that they are hard to control, but your letting them lead you downs some very dangerous paths.

Don't you have any big sisters to talk to or some friends your close to??

Do yourself and me a favor,find out this girls number (that he cheated on you with,or you suspect he did) and call her.

You can't trust your ex,so get the information from her.Ask her if it was true and it really did happen.If she's nice enough to you and interested in what you have to say.Do a three way call with him on the other line just them talking with you quiet

And see what he says to her.

You have to be certain though to not act hostile or mad at the girl (even if she knew he was your boyfriend... she was not committed to you) When you call her (if you do) act polite.

^ the calling way was how I confirmed my ex cheating on me.And how I finally moved on.

I'm an only child and I don't talk to my friends beuase I lost them because I never bovered with them when I met my boyfriend stupid I know. Everyone thinks I'm perthetic but I feel so bad for him and I just can't control how much I need and love him

She's confirmed it to me anyway she told me again after I said its not my boyfriend your talking to its me bla bla.. and she said she sorry but it happened.. I controlled my anger only because I couldn't feel angry I was distraught and hurt... I kept the conversation we had for him threw Facebook and he said she's lying I didn't kiss her! he dusnt tx her all the tym he txed her after a night out saying come and meet me bla bla.. they didn't meet though she said

Ok that's great,the girls willing to talk to you.
Next step (like I said) ask her for her number.
Once you guys call each other have her call him with you on the other-line (three way call)
And have her flirt with him or ask him how the kiss was or something.

Wait for him to take the bait

And then,how can he say he didn't do anything,when you physically heard it?

I asked for her number and she said look I don't wna get involved we kissed we were drunk that's it he txed me end of if you wna know anything ask him its not my problem!. but he said to me if ever I hack into his Facebook again its over and he keeps making me feel bad so I apoligise to him saying I'm sorry I love you its my fault.. when I just wna say I hate you so much for hurting me but I love you so bad its just hard and so so so stupid!!

Oh so he's pulling the 'you hacked into my facebook' thing.

Personally that's another thing.

I wouldn't care if my ex hacked,anything of mine,because I have nothing to hide.I don't understand the extreme parinoia some people have over that,especially when the suspicions are proven.

How does he act towards you on a normal day?

(how many times a day does he call)
(does he tell you he loves you)
(how many times a week do you fight)

OK he calls me on every break at work , he texts me before he goes to work , txs me along cute message before he goes to bed , rings me like near enuff every hour and a half on the days I don't c him... he tells me he loves me all the time , on every tx every fone call , every time I'm with him... we only argue over my paranior and how I say how could you cheat on me and did you do it that just causes an argument... but I c him every day without fail ( only at the moment I can't because my car is playing up )!. but I get lifts to c him...

Ok his behavior is suspicious,it's just as bad as if he wasn't calling at all.

I'm sorry but there's no need to call someone,EVERY HOUR. Even if you are long distance.I would say maybe two calls a day is normal,more then that is obessesive. He is over-compensating,probably so you 'shut up' and don't suspect him of cheating.The illusion of the perfect boyfriend.

But do you think it could possibly be because the girl he cheated on you with rejected him?

So in a sense he's 'stuck' with you,and acting as if the cheating never happened?

No because the girl actually wanted a relationship with him when I was on the Facebook she put why don't u ever meet me you kissed me 1nce when we were in the club and I only heard from you last nyt after when you got home drunk , u never want to meet me and I actually wna be wif u!. so she said it... he could of gone off with her but he never... we've both bin very ringing all the time since we 1st got together enyway so that isn't strange to us in our relationship... he dus think I'm posseive and I never let him go out.. hense that because I'm afraid of what he's doing??

Kelly, you've established with this girl that your boyfriend did in fact kiss her. Whether they had been drinking doesn't change the facts. Now he's lying about it. Is that something that you want to put up with? What's to say he won't do this again? I wouldn't "shut up" but talk to him. Tell him that you know he's lied to you and there's no use lying anymore. See how he reacts to that. If he gets defensive like it still didn't happen I would get rid of this guy. If he finally admits it and apologizes, says it won't happen again, then you guys can work on your relationship. I personally, would have trust issues with him.

He gets defensive saying look I didn't kiss her god just believe me. I don't know what I can do to make him admit it , don't know why he can't when he knows that she has told me?

I would show him the door. What motive does this girl have to lie about it?

Yep exactly , yousee I know its true but I still can't leave him because he does make me happy and id o love him

OMG, this thread is now about 7 pages of the same thing.

Either you leave or you stay, only you can figure out why you want to be with a cheater. I think you should love yourself more than you love him, and then you will see that you don't need him until then. This vicious circle will continue.

I'm sorry I'm wasteing everyone's time but I just wish someone would understand the situation I'm in and that I love I'm too much I can't leave!! I'm scared of being on my own I guess but I don't wna not have him, sometimes I guess I think if I stay with him at least I've got him which is better then nt having him at all

You can leave. Don't stay with anyone just because you're afraid to be alone. How will you meet the one you're meant to be with if you waste anymore time with this jerk?

Yeah I understand what your saying.. he just rang me and was like I miss u.. it just suks me in all over again... were going abroad soon as well

:(:(:(::(

When are you going to stand up for yourself?

Everybody understand but your getting the same advice over and over. It is obivious he doesn't make you happy because if he did you wouldn't be in this dilemma or on this site.

It doesn't matter what we say because your going do what you want. Of course he gets angry or defensive when you asked him about his cheating ways because he is guilty but you stated you don't care--remember? So why do you keep asking him the same thing when you know he is going continue to lie about it?

im sorry im wasteing everyones time but i just wish someone would understand the situation im in and that i love im too much i can't leave!!!! im scared of bein on my own i guess but i dnt wna not have him, sometimes i guess i think if i jus stay with him atleast iv got him which is better then nt havin him at all

Sorry if I seem a bit frustrated, but you really are wasting your own time. Not mine, I like to help but if you just don't see the advice that you are given on here and take it as people trying to help then, it is what it is. Put it this way if you detach yourself now from him, you can save yourself a very painful break up. You're obsessed. It is Very unhealthy, and don't be surprised if it drives him away.

Try not to make him the reason for your happiness, find other things to do that will make you happy.

I can't let go

You can't let him go? Or the fact that he cheated? You're going to have to choose one.

Both!. he always shouts at me all the time as well. I know I shouldn't put up with it but I can't understand why I love him so much!! I just wish I could make I'm c what he's doing to me

To OP-

I kind of have a feeling you are trolling for attention,either that or really thick headed.

If I'm wrong,then come up with a substantial argument that isn't the same thing over and over.

I don't think I can help you anymore. We're going to be going in circles here. You can't hang on to him AND the fact that he cheated. You just can't. It doesn't work that way. You need to decide what's more important, being in a relationship with someone who will cheat on you and then lie about it or getting out of this controlling relationship and finding someone that you can trust.

Yer well I do love him so I guess il accept it because I can't see to finnish with him can I !

If this isn't for attention,then what does she expect us to say?

She can work it out with him?

I really don't think it's possible to work it out with a cheater and liar.

Based on everyone I know who has tried.

Yer but what if it was a mistake and he's only dun it 1nce ( of which I no of )

i just can't let go
That's what you keep telling yourself, and I hate to say it, but until you tell yourself you may want him, but don't need him, things will only get worse not better, and you will really be hurt. Its up to you.

Your not the first, nor will you be the last to make someone so important in your life, that you justify his bad behavior, and put him and what he wants before you and what you really need, which is to dump him and work on your very real low self esteem, and self confidence. That's a lot more important than have a cheater as a boyfriend.

I do understand your situation very well, but it seems you don't.

By the way, this thread will be closed if you can't at least take time use better spelling, it only takes a second to use spell check.

Yerh I know that I shouldn't be with him but he does make me happy , I duno why I keep holding on I think because of our holiday maybe things will get better and he will feel like he 1st did for me

Starting other threads will not get you different answers for your problem.

I need more advice and answers! :(

You aren't going to get the advice that you are looking for.

You have gotten great advice and answers in this thread.

Hey, I'm not saying he hasn't cheated on you, but I have had trouble with my GF thinking I cheated on her. I've had pictures in my messages that wernt sent by me, because of my friends taking my phone. However once I did comfort a girl because she was going through a hard time and all I said was u can have anyone because your very pretty. I've also had two girls come up to me why I was with my GF and ask if I had got the naked picture they sent and I didn't even know them. This tears me apart because I know my GF does not trust me now and she constantly gets angry at me. I know how u feel from her, and he should feel like and be angry and depressed if he hasn't done anything, if he hasn't done anything he would b able to talk to you about it instead of getting angry tell him u went on FB and tell him u know. He is just scared of losing u, not so much losing u but having no one. And don't listen to people when they say u too young for a serious relationship. U have feelings too

In order to have a relationship with a person you need to have trust and once you break that trust it hard to gain. The only way he would admit to you he cheated its if you have prove him how or why you know he cheated. But like I said once he broke that trust its going to be hard for you relationship to be the same as before. He might love you the way he claims he does but guy fall in to temptaions

Yeah he says he does love me but if he did why would he cheat? A drunken kiss maybe.. I'm so confussed because I just can't get it off my mind.

Merged and edited for the last time. Any new thread started about this relationship will be deleted.

He still the same as when we 1st met cuddling all the time kissing me telling me he loves me rings me all the time, texts me all the time, were together all the time accept for when he goes out with his mates on the odd occasion.. so I'm just wondering why hasn't he admitted it to me? As I know it's the truth he did kiss her and its not just a rumour?. why does he stay with me? Why hasn't he said yeah I kissed her instead of deneying it , I just do not understand why he wants to be with me if he kissed her ? What's to say he hasn't done anything else with other girls?? also I did giv it the benefit of the doubt then I found out he's been giving girls his number WHAT THE HELL, why would he do this.. then yesterday he said I'm going to be nice to you because you deserve to be happy , and today I find an email of a girl which was a reply to him giving her his phone number, I love him but all this is so confussing and tearing me apart what should I do?. HELP!

Helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!

Boys don't lie, individuals do, that includes girls. Find one that doesn't lie or mess with your head.

I agree. Everyone lies, you just need to find someone that will be more honest and faithful.

Well if he's giving out his phone number to girls all the time... then DUMP him!

Just because he cuddles and says he loves you doesn't mean anything. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions show shady behavior.

He might not have said anything to you because of fear for the way you would react. You seem to be very tense when you react to a situation (by reading your post), and this might be the reason he didn't say anything at all. I'm not saying this behavior is excusable in any manner but you wanted to know why he didn't mention it to you.

If you have solid proof that he's doing all these things without telling you, then the trust is broken and you need to talk to him. Actually I would say not to talk to him, because there is always the chance he'll try to win you back... it all depends on what you want and if you can trust him again. If you don't think you could forgive him and trust him again, then just end things and don't talk to him anymore.

Please stick to the same thread.

If you want to stay in this relationship, then stop analyzing it.
We have all recommended you gather up your self-esteem and leave him.
Without trust you don't have a relationship.
You have caught him in a lie. He hasn't been truthful since he was caught.
If you want to continue against everyone's advice, you can't come back and think that the advice itself will change.
You hold the key to how you will be treated, it's all downhill from here.

You keep wondering what's up and since you know what's up, why do you keep letting him get away with bad behavior and act normal about it like nothing is happening.

Instead of starting new threads about the same thing, get rid of the boyfriend. Until you do that, stay miserable.

When will you learn all the snooping isn't going change his ways? I guess your going play the private eye role throughout this entire relationship. Maybe one day you will smarten up or your just keep bumping your head into the wall.

You got all the advice you need but you chose to ignore it. Change start with you. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself "why do you allow yourself to be with someone like him?"

Hello "Kelly". I'm sorry to hear of your problem. I can understand a little about what you're through. There is one catch in the "love" relationship with him. Your feelings have for him in your heart is very happy and content with the physical relationship too, except that he has a bad problem with lying among other things. Unfortunately, that's just part of him and his personality. I've been in a similar situation. If you love him so much you just have to except everything about him. If you think about your feelings, you may or may not decide that your feelings for him may only be infatuation or you feel a need to change him. The problem with that is that you can't "change" a person, no matter how hard you try. A person can't be changed unless they want to be changed. His lying problem is probably actually a fixation or simple weakness. My ex-wife has a bad lying problem. She lies to weave a very intricate story to achieve whatever she had in mind. So you can look on the bright side. It could be worse. So you can look "inside" yourself. Is he so important to you because he's the brightest point in your life? Is he the both most physically active and mentally complexing to initiate thought from you? These things may be signs of infatuation. His treatment of you may also have beaten your self-esteem down to a point that you don't feel that you're not good enough for anyone else. That of coarse probably depends a lot on how long you 2 have been together, and does depend very much on how you feel about yourself anyway. It is still a free country. You can leave him if you find that solution in your own heart, or you can stay. But if you decide that it's truly love that you have for him, then you have except everything about him and deal with any pain that might come with it. I can tell you for a fact though that with a person lie to extremes actually may not really be capable of love. They may just not understand what it really is. I'm not saying that of your catch. But that's the way mine was.

You are in denial and wishing for him to be the image you want him to be. I would even go as far as to say you are co dependent because you can't eat and you can't sleep...

So how many girls down the line in the years to come will it convince you that he is a no good cheating two timer?

He's your life? YOUR WHOLE LIFE? Surely there are things you like to do, and certainly did before he came into the picture.

KC is right. Time to get a new life, sans the jerk. You KNOW he did it, you KNOW he denied it, and you KNOW he's a liar who obviously does not respect or care for you. You're certainly not HIS life, and he doesn't seem to mind if you're in it or not.

This is a classic case of a person being turned into a doormat. Or maybe toilet paper. He's just wiping crap on you with lies and disrespectful attitude.

Why does he stay and cheat? Because he knows you'll put up with it. The end.

Let him go, girl. He's not going to change. Not even making him your "life" will do that.

Good luck.

I think you know when you don't have to ask if he does, to be honest. In other words, there won't be question. He will show it through his words and his actions.

I see what's going on. Didn't you just post to ask how you know if your boyfriend loves you? Leave him. Leave him now and never look back. If you're questioning this and he's cheating on you, forget it. This is no way to build a relationship.

Oh my gosh. Just one question will do. There is no need to post so many times. I realize you're hurt, upset, etc but this isn't going to get your questions answered any faster.

Leave him. Just leave. Don't waste any more time with him.

You don't need to either way, we can't read the question if we're still in bed you know?

That's a lot of questions
First, how old are you?

I've cheated once a while ago on one of my ex's, I was at a party, and things turned to things
But yeah, I fealt like crap, I didn't tell her, and she never found out, but I was guilty, and I ended up dumping her because I found out she had been cheating on me, funny world isn't it
What I'm trying to say is, every one is different and not every one is going to react the same way
People cheat because maybe their board and want a little more than the same person all the time, I don't know
But what I don't understand is, why don't you just dump your boyfreind if he cheated? Is he really worth it?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=1844449


I'm so confused everyone says leave him,but i can't i love him so much its making me mad:| i don't sleep or eat and I'm so down. but when I'm with him I'm happy but i keep thinking god you've cheated then it brings me down again !!

Obviously someone has been answering your questions

Every one has a Desire! And They Everything for it . You better Don't Worry! Where Some one is Waiting for U wrapping lots of love for u ! Its all happen when you keep more trust one Someone . Why do you still love a guy Where he doesn't keep your Trust . It is still no use . Relax!! Think about it .

Well I think your boyfriend has missed the best love that he had on earth . Unluck guy .

U keep on thinking and Worrying Doesn't Help ! Get rid of it soon !

Better questions would be:

Why do you keep associating yourself with someone who cheats?

Why don't you have more self-respect?

Why don't leave behind in the past and move on with your life?

Why don't you meet new people who aren't cheaters?

He's not the only person in the world!

You deserve better, so leave him behind.

If I had a girlfriend who asked the same question 50 different ways I would consider cheating as well. STOP starting threads over and over again. It will not get you more help.

I agree with I wish (had to spread the rep hun!) but figuring out why he did what he did... that won't really help. The only behavior you can control is your own. Facing reality can be a good start... fact is he cheated on you. He went behind your back and cheated on you. This shows a major lack of respect in my eyes.

What can you do about it?
Face the fact of what he did, and control your behavior... of course I'm just assuming, but if he cheated and when he was busted; he didn't even admit his actions to you... well hey more disrespect for you as a person...

Leave, you deserve better!

>MULTIPLE Threads Merged<

STOP posting the same issue all over the site.
Stick to ONE thread!

yer well maybe if people answer my questions i wouldnt need to
Your question has been answered so many times its really ridicules. You have been warned about the multiple posts and your still doing it. I don't know what will satisfy you but our advice has not, so this thread is closed, and any other will be deleted, until you can stop trolling for whatever it is your wanting to hear.