Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ½ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.

A woman can get pregnant while taking the pill. They can be taken religiously and it can happen. You would need to go to a lawyer and ask him these questions and have some legal work drawn up. Did you have a father while growing up? I am curious as to how someone can be so withdrawn from their own child to be. I know men these days feel they have just as much right as a woman in determining what happens to an unborn child. I do not. It should be a woman's right to have an abortion or not, NEVER should anyone else even suggest it. It is killing an unborn child and she will have to live with that forever. When a woman carries a child for 9 months, feels it living and moving inside her. She gets attached to that living breathing person before it is ever born, giving it away may cause problems forever also.

Do not be harsh on her about not taking the pill, it can happen. I have 2 grandsons (my daughter was married) to prove it. She was religious about taking the pill, her husband wanted children and she was not ready. They are wonderful boys and the light of her life.

She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.

Hello Not:

Dude. I got it. I'm like you. I hate wearing a rubber. But, these days, YOU TOO are responsible for getting her knocked up.

The time to decide whether you want to be a father OR NOT, is BEFORE you implant your member - not after. You put the next 20 years of your financial life, IN YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HANDS. Not surprisingly, she's not treating your money the same way you would.

No, Dude. You're going to pay! You're going to pay good. If you somehow convince her to let you off the hook now (because you're right there, and she's feeling distraught), she'll come to her senses. At $100/mo for the next 20 years, we're talking about $24,000, here. She should give that up?

Uhhh, NO she shouldn't! You should pay to support your child.

So, after all that money stuff, you might as well get ready to be a dad, because you're going to be, AND you’re going to pay like one too. Being a dad ain't so bad. I rather like it.

In 1973, I talked my wife into an abortion. I have a son who was born in 1975. What was so important that two years cured? I have no idea. I look at my son, and wonder who his older brother or sister was. I love my son. I have room to love another one.

It doesn't feel good to know that I did that. Back then, I didn't think about this stuff at all.

I don't know what any of this is worth.

excon

I am so sorry. I am sorry on may levels here. I am sorry you are not going to get the answers you want, I am sorry you are not man enough to face the consequences of your actions, and so on.

I too took birth control pills. I took them religiously, same time on the dot every day, never forgot one. I have 2 beautiful sons who now protect our country in the U.S. Army to show for it. So, the pill is not 100% effective.

Now, you knew that there was a possibility of her getting pregnant every time you had sex with her. Don't tell me you didn't.

You are now responsible for the rest of your life to this child. Whether your name is on the birth certificate or not. All she has to do is prove paternity. One little swab of the cheek, that is all it takes these days.

Excon said you might as well get ready to be a "dad." From what I hear you can't be a dad, but rather a sperm donor.

I find it a shame that you can love your girlfriend, make love to her, but not love what the two of you produced.

Got news, that unless you go to court and she agrees in court to allow you to give up your rights, YOU are a father.

And guess what you will be paying child support, so yes she has a great way to pay for raising the child, it is called YOU.

And it is your child, you should like a dead beat I would like to take out behind a wood shed and discuss responsibility.

You were having sex with her and she is going to have a baby, so deal with it dude, you are a father if you never see the baby ever or pay her a dime.

But if you don't do your duties for the child, you are the lowest scum on the face of this earth in my opinion. And honestly, it sounds like you are so selfish that she will do a lot better without a loser like you in her life. But I do hope she makes you pay out the nose for the child till the child is out of college, since that is your duty and her right to get it.

Your in that predicament, because you stuck your @#$% in her. You my friend are trying to put all the blame on her. It is your fault too. You should have thought about it before doing anything. Birth control is not 100 percent. As far as her wanting to keep the baby that is her choice. I am against abortion personally. There are many other options. You're a father now whether you are ready for it or not. It is eighter time to step up to the plate and become a man and take responsibility for this little one or be a coward and run away. You will have no idea what effect it has on a child not knowing there parents. At the same time since you feel this way maybe the baby is better off without you. As far as responsibility, this baby will always be your responsibility with or without papers and names. With or without your presence. You need to think long and hard. Do not force anything on this women.

Joe

Life is not always about being ready for what is given us. It would be nice if that were the case. You have been given a child, that is a gift not to be taken lightly. You say you do well financially, when would the perfect time be, or do you not want children ever?
You have no right to make the decision for your girlfriend. You have told her how you feel, now you must respect how she feels. This would be a great burden for her to carry for the rest of her life. Women are the nurturing ones and to give up a child can cause them pain for the rest of their life. If she gave it up or had had an abortion because you wanted her to, she at some point could and most likely would resent you, and rightfully so.

If I were her, I would leave you, sign court documents taking all rights away from you as a father. I would find a caring, loving nonselfish person. I would not want you in my life or my child's.

I feel very sorry for you. I would not want to be the kind of person you are. Bless you

I agree with K3, I would find someone loving, and you sir are not it. However, I would take you for all the money my child deserved.

The money is not for her, but for the child. For food, diapers, for a roof over its head, for electricity.

How would you feel if your father just dumped you? I assume you have a father. How would you feel if your father did not want you?

Not ready to be a dad yet? Guess what... every time you have sex you are a potential dad. If you're not ready for fatherhood then you're not ready for sex.

The only method of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence. This pregnancy is your responsibility just as much as your girlfriend's. And this baby will be your responsibility just as much as hers. Whether you're ready is irrelevant. It's coming and if you're not there for her and the baby then you deserve everything that a court can throw at you.

Back in 1999 my girlfriend at the time told me she was pregnant. I was already paying over $400 dollars a month for my first child with my first girl (on my first time!). She toyed with the idea of abortion at first, to my relief. The next week she wanted to keep it. I, like you, expressed my feelings toward being a father. She seemed like she didn't care what I felt. I told her, and I was serious, that I wouldn't be around at the time of birth, because I wasn't going to take any food. And from then, until she had it aborted, I took no food.

And from then, until she had it aborted, I took no food.

Hello inla:

It would have been better if YOU had starved yourself to death. What a despicable thing to do!

excon

The real issue, from a legal standpoint, isn't whether she's willing to sign away any potential responsibility on your part. Legally she can't sign away any child support that the child would be entitled to. It's more a question of whether you're the father. The only way that can be proven is through a DNA test. If one is never done. Then it'll never be proven that you're the father and you won't be able to be held legally responsible. The best bet would be for her and you to sign an affidavit that she will never ask the court to compel you to submit to a DNA test, as this is the first and most crucial test in child support proceedings. Have an attorney draft it up for you, you both sign it and the attorney notarizes it. That's your best option.

Back in 1999 my girlfriend at the time told me she was pregnant. I was already paying over $400 dollars a month for my first child with my first girl (on my first time!). She toyed with the idea of abortion at first, to my relief. The next week she wanted to keep it. I, like you, expressed my feelings toward being a father. She seemed like she didn't care what I felt. I told her, and I was serious, that I wouldn't be around at the time of birth, because I wasn't going to take any food. And from then, until she had it aborted, I took no food.

You can't be proud of that action are you? I wish she had the baby and we'd see how long you would have lasted with no food, I think that's so sick, KILL the baby or I don't eat. Stupid.


Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet.
If you didn't want to be a father why did you keep pokin' her with your thang? That's what happens when you have sex and the only 100% birth control is abstinance. Its too late to argue, so go cry in your room and get over the kid stuff because now its time to... be a MAN. Quite whining and do the right thing.

Yes, T, thang poking results in tummy growing.

Tal, up there sounding like Dr. Laura, "Quit whinning and go the right thing"

Spoken like a true Relationship Expert.

As for you Mr. notreadytobeaDadyet:

If your not ready to be a Dad, keep it in your pants.

Waddya all want to bet that he will not be back. We did not give him the info he wanted, only what he needed to hear.

So Notreadytobeadadyet... what happens when your girlfriend has this child and someday your son or daughter comes looking for you? What are you going to say to him or her? What will be your excuse for not being there for them growing up? Will you tell them the truth or will you still be a coward and hide from them?

Maybe you would change your mind if you went to his or her birth. Then you could see that this little miracle might have your eyes or your nose and when they grow up they might have your sense of humor or maybe your laugh. How can you throw all that away? You're not just giving up a life with your child, but a life with your girlfriend as well... she must not mean much to you... poor girl...

The majority of us men here probably were not ready to be a father but once we accepted the fact that a baby was coming we got ourselves ready. That's the difference between MEN and boys, Men do what the have to do for their family. So while I understand the fear I bet once you see your child in person you will stand up and do what your supposed to do.(I HOPE ,at least) Or you could be like most of the so-called males out there and run for the hills looking for the easy way out. Your choice, make the right one. The changes a child makes in your life are positive ones... For a MAN anyway.

I am 22yrs old, was on the pill and fell pregnant. I am currently in my third trimester. I too was not ready to be a mum and my boyfriend left me because of the baby. I have some input you will not like... you need to take a good look in the mirror... stop being so selfish... this is not about you... this is about your girlfriend and her unborn child. If that is your attitude, then you have no respect for her. She and the little one are better off without you. Its her body and her life... she is the one it effects the most and she should be the one to decide what happensa ndn you should support her no matter what. You are a selfish, heartless and above all cruel man and you need to have you head read. Some men and women cannot have children so appreciate the fact that you can. Grow up and get a life.

NB: Take note of my Aviatar too - that's the scan pic of my daughter due this December. That's what your baby almost looks like now... something for you to think about.

First of all... Inla_bomber... I would've let you STARVE!! SERIOUSLY!!

Second... notreadytobeadadyet... I agree with everyone here but "Mr. Bomber"!! My sister became pregnant the first time she ever had sex! She lost her virginity from her boyfriend. Needless to say, he found out she was pregnant, asked her to get an abortion and she refused! In our family, abortion isn't an option! My sister never heard from her boyfriend again! He changed his number and (seriously) moved out of state! Pretty drastic measures because you didn't want to care for your "flesh and blood"!

Having a child is a very scary thing when you're not ready! I was not ready and my sister was not ready to be "mommies"! I worked three jobs for years and now I only work two jobs! I did what I had to because I was the parent and my actions were "molding" my child! Although I get childsupport, my sister doesn't! Her little boy is sooooo very cute and looks a lot like his dad! To bad the S.O.B. with never know his son!

If you were not ready to have a child then you should have kept your "willy" in your pants! If you can't take the responsibility that comes with having sex then you SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX!

What goes around... comes around! He (and you if you abandon this child) will get your "just due" in the end! You will have to answer to the big guy!!

"...sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament..."


First,…off… if, she is a minor… any contract she signs as a minor is not binding in any court of law…the contract needs to be supported by the parents ( that means yours too). You are now a parent! Get use to it…Things will change once you see the baby///maybe the baby will be a mini you…buy him a motorcycle too…he will like girl watching just like you…there is nothing more of a girl magnet…then,… when you are walking with your mini you through the mall and or the park…Wow… what a life…

Maybe I missed it, but I do not see where either party in the OP is a minor.

Yeah, I was a little thrown off too,but then who but a very young guy could come up with a word document to relieve him of his obligations? Who but a very young girl would sign it? Either way I don't know if such a contract is binding or not. I've never heard of this before.

Yeah, could be, but he makes mention of making good money and her making little. He travels and works 70 hours per week.

My thought was that he did this out of desperation rather than sound rational thinking.

That's logical, poor guy I almost feel for him. You don't know how scared I was when I found out my first was coming.

"... I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up..."

First issue you have no desire to be a father... make sure the woman that you are with is taking her birth control... and if you are struck on the point of no children... get yourself prepared with birth control.



"... Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy... "

So nice of her to consider your feeling before the care and keeping of the child...

Fact you have a right to give up parental rights... the judge will make the decision on whether you should be given that right...

An financial abortion has no seat in today's laws...

Your statement does read like an immature man that is insecure about life... yes having a baby is scary... yes it does attack what ever monies you have in the bank to rise them... it goes with the enjoyment of sex... afraid of the end game... then do not play unless you are ready to win...

May I suggest a vasectomy, since birth control is not 100% effective anyway?

Just a little thought I have been thinking about.

I got knocked up with my boyfriend of 3 years and he begged me to come to my senses and have an abortion. He promised me an engagement "we could start all over again...". After I threw up on his shoes (priceless I know) I told him that I was sad and horrified that I could be so blind to the fact that the man I was dating was not a man after all. He warned me that he would not be there for either one of us if I went through with the pregnancy and kept the baby... I told him if he turned his back today he would regret it one day. I told him I would never go after him for child support because a judge could never give my child what it needed which was a father. I told him I would not take him back once he left.

He kept his word. I kept mine. My daughter grew up in a loving home because I moved back in with my parents to give her a sense of family.

When she was 4 he contacted me saying he had a change of heart and wanted us both back. I told him he'd better have a big wallet to come with it because if he wanted to see her it would cost him 4 years of retroactive child support. He didn't believe me until he got a letter from my attorney. He never called again.

When my husband and I got married a year later he adopted her. The ex signed the paperwork without hesitation. He wrote me a letter saying that he really did have a change of heart and regretted what he did but also knew that coming into her life this late in the game would only confuse her. He recognized that he made a rash decision that he'd have to live with until the day he died and he respected that my husband would be a better role model for a father.


Be a man, do the responsible thing. Yes, she is also responsible, I do acknowledge that, but that's water under the bridge now. If she won't give this baby to a two parent home, then the next best thing is to marry her and be the man you are supposed to be.

I have children(plural). Trust me. You will never be ready. The only people who are ready, can't have kids. Believe me, I know what you are feeling. I'm not going to beat you with words because I have seen women have babies and abortions for some of the craziest reasons. If you two live together, you will take care of that baby whether you want to or not. Either out of guilt or her making you do it. If you don't live together, you will help her with the baby or lose her eventually.
You and her must take that document to a notary and get it notorized. If you drew it up right, it may be able to stand up in court when she tries to get child support, after you two have split. Trust; if you continue with this attitude, you will split. Don't be scared. It's not that bad if you start by doing right by just the baby. If you just buy the basic essentials(pampers, clothes, bed, etc.), which are not that expensive if you're making all that good money, it would go a long way in appeasing her. If you don't want to be a dad, stay away from the child because he/she will make you their father just out of instinct. You may feel compelled to take care of that child because you know it is yours. You can't go to the hospital with her because if you get to see the birth, you will want to be a dad because you will know that is a piece of you. To make a long story short, you are going to miss out on a lot. My oldest is 16 and will set the world on fire for any of them.

I sure wish Notready would come back and tell us what's going on with him, his girlfriend and his baby! You know he's reading these... just doesn't want to get chewed out anymore!

Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ½ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
Sign over your parental rights . But get an attorney to write up an agreement that if you DO sign over parental rights . That she can't come after you for child support . Do not enter into any agreement on paper or verbally . Some will and some won't hold up in court . It doesn't mean that you are a bad person signing over those rights. It just means that you are holding true to yourself . If she was supposed to be on birth control . Then it was her responsibility to keep from getting pregnant . If it was known before she got pregnant , that you didn't want kids yet . Then that should account for something .

I meant to 'disagree' on the above post.

I am a woman not a neanderthal . Men have rights also ! He did not want to have a baby with his girlfriend . He's clearly not ready to be a Father figure. It is in the best interest of the Mother and Baby to move on . This relationship isn't going to work !
And I do know you can get pregnant on B/C . I did at the age of 16!! And my borfriend wasn't ready to be a Dad ,( at that point in his life ). I wasn't ready to be a Mom . But it was MY decision to keep the baby . It was his decision not to be in our lives. He has rights also . He was a good guy . But just because a baby is on the way . Doesn't make him ready to be a Dad . We were on B/C . It was a shock . I found a man that wanted to be a Dad . And things worked out just fine . My daughter is 16 and doing just fine . And so am I .
We all have rights and choices . We can't JUST say stay together and raise a kid that wasn't planned or wanted . That's how things get stressful for the 3 of them . If the parents don't want to be together . Then the kid suffers . He doesn't seem to me as coming off as a guy that hasn't expressed his wishes before she got pregnant . She clearly knew he wasn't ready for kids . She wasn't either I know. But she can choose adoption if she isn't financially ready . Then that way the baby will have 2 parents and a good life . I'm against abortion . But also feel that it is an individuals right on that subject . Again it will be the child that suffers if parents are on to opposite sides of this subject .

I am a woman not a neanderthal . Men have rights also ! He did not want to have a baby with his girlfriend . He's clearly not ready to be a Father figure. It is in the best interest of the Mother and Baby to move on . This relationship isn't going to work !
And I do know you can get pregnant on B/C . I did at the age of 16 !!!!!!!!!!! And my borfriend wasn't ready to be a Dad ,( at that point in his life ). I wasn't ready to be a Mom . But it was MY decision to keep the baby . It was his decision not to be in our lives. He has rights also . He was a good guy . But just becasue a baby is on the way . Doesn't make him ready to be a Dad . We were on B/C . It was a shock . I found a man that wanted to be a Dad . And things worked out just fine . My daughter is 16 and doing just fine . And so am I .
We all have rights and choices . We can't JUST say stay together and raise a kid that wasn't planned or wanted . That's how things get stressful for the 3 of them . If the parents don't want to be together . Then the kid suffers . He doesn't seem to me as coming off as a guy that hasn't expressed his wishes before she got pregnant . She clearly knew he wasn't ready for kids . She wasn't either I know. But she can choose adoption if she isn't financially ready . Then that way the baby will have 2 parents and a good life . I'm against abortion . But also feel that it is an individuals right on that subject . Again it will be the child that suffers if parents are on to opposite sides of htis subject .

Shouldn't he pay child support? Why didn't he get a vasectomy? Why play at a grown up game and not to expect consequences? Both man and woman have the obligation to raise the child, whether they marry is another question.

No, Joe, vasectomy is not 100% effective either, neither is tubal ligation, birth control pills, or condoms. The only things 100% effective are a total hysterectomy or abstinence.

Vascetomy is a slightly more effective than the pill, but it is still not 100%

You Think 100 Dollars Is Enough To Support A Child. That Doesn't Even Buy Tylenol, Wipes And Diapers For The Month. You Men Are Ridiculous. You Can Help Make The Baby But Not Support Them. Do You Honestly Think $100 Is Your Fair Share? The Answer Is No. The Women Is Footing Most Of The Bill, The Time, And Other Things. You Men Are Pathetic. And To Think You Probably Had Mothers That Raised You On Your Own.

Not ready to be a dad yet:

You better get ready. You can ignore the comments in this board but you can't ignore that. Furthermore, if your girlfriend wants to have and keep this child, there really isn't a lot you can do about it.

We've all been through problems buddy, but what you need to do is support your girlfriend right now. I will even make the suggestion to start thinking about putting a ring on her finger if she will have it. Try to raise the child the best you and her can, in as much of a normal lifestyle as possible. Maybe once you get married you two and the child can start attending a local church. There is good support for families who are struggling emotionally there.

When the school work starts to cover the fridge, and the child sits there and ask questions about how a car works when you change the oil, you'll be glad you made the decision to keep the child.

But like I said, we've all got problems. As my boss would say "man up and deal with it!".

My wife and I got married on our car port by the justice of the peace. The licence cost $15 and the justice of the peace charged $60. Think about it.

I sure wish Notready would come back and tell us what's going on with him, his gf and his baby! !
Yeah, it's kind of anticlimatic. Pardon the pun.

For my response I'm not going to lecture you, but me and my boyfriend recently thought I was pregnant because I had all the syptoms and before I even took a test he wanted me to get an abortion asap and do you realize what kind of emotional state that would put your so loved girlfriend to think back she killed her son/daughter how would you feel to know you hurt her in that way it would hurt and you shouldn't try to force her into getting an abortion ( if you don't get one I don't want to be with you. Or take a pick) those things don't work because she is going to choose her unborn child believe me when my boyfriend told me to get an abortion I was going to quit school and move out of state because he wanted on and he told me to choose. I love him with all my heart but that child inside of her is a part of you how could you just want to throw it away like a piece of trash. It's wrong. That is your flesh and blood.

So because you are selfish, you made a girl abort a child that I can guarantee she wanted! SHAME ON YOU! I don't know how you can sleep at night. You really need to take a look at yourself in the mirror.

It wasn't about you... you are not the one that has to carry the child, and go through everything. Just think what she has to live with everyday. Did you consider that? The emotional turmoil she had to and still goes through whether she displays that to anyone or not? The nightmares she must have had! The loss she suffered - all because of what - you and your selfish attitude and money? What sort of a man are you??

Holly, if you read carefully she agreed to a "financial abortion" she did not actually abort the child. At least we don't know if she did since the OP has not been back since his first post October 14.

My apologies if I misread the post!

I have no sympathy for a guy who willingly has intercourse with a woman and then cries he does not want any responsibility for his actions. Go and whine to your buddies. You can ask her to abort the baby, but it is her choice overall. You loved her enough to be with her, sleep with her, etc. Now buck up and act like a man.

See I feel the same way as this guy I grew up not having a dad so I'm kind of scared that when I am a dad will I be a good one cause it is not like a video game can't start over I do not want to abort the child and I do not want to give him/her up and both of us are not that well in the money department so that scares me I feel like I'm going to fail as a father she wants the child yet she says she's scared and doesn't I am more or less scared of the idea right now I was kind of hoping to be older maybe like 25 at least I'm only 20 and she's 19 I hope shs not pregnant and yet I hope she is I really just hope I will be a better dad then my own anyone offer some advice or anything and sorry for posting a question on a question

Personally I don't feel that its right that once a women decides she wants to have a child and the male counterpart objects. Why must the man be held responsabel for the next 18 years because of her final decision?

I don't think a man should be able to decide what a woman can or should do with the baby, but if the woman fully understands that the man does not want a child and she continues with the birth, she should be held accountable solely. A man is left with / has NO choice in the matter which is completely rotten.

There are a lot of women out there that intensionally trap a man and vise versa but we are not talking about that topic here.

JMO.

Snoop, Think about the consequences of having sex with a female before you do the deed, after is to late.

What about the women that concented to having relations its OK for here to decide what's best for him?

Consent is nothing, you have also consented. Guys should take care of their own interests, and not believe a female will do it for them. She can only do what's best for her.

I, alone, agree with most people here. You agreed to have sex with her. Therefore, you agreed to the consequences. If you can't live up to your so called "mistakes," then you are NOT a real man. Your girlfriend deserves so much better than you. I hope that someday she reads all this and realizes that YOU are just a dud in the wind. She SHOULD in deed sue your a$$ for child support and take away your parental rights. YOU do NOT deserve to have such a blessing in your life. Both your girlfriend and your child to be! You are a disgrace to all man. You are the kind of man that keep the good ones from ever getting a chance at life, because you type of men make us woman believe we can't find better. A child is the best thing that could ever happen to a woman. And the thought that you would kill your own flesh and blood, I hope you rot in he!! But, whatever, I told you my opinion. And a note to all woman who read this, "Never give up! Never let yourself believe you will never have better. You, too, can have a wonderful and happy life! Fight for it and live for it! Always remember that us other woman are here for your support. Live your life the way you want, because you only live once!!"

A child is the best thing that could ever happen to a woman. And the thought that you would kill your own flesh and blood, I hope you rot in he!!.

Ouch... I would imagine that you should keep your religious beliefs kept private, we do not all carry the same beliefs as you, I mean no offense.

Sex doesn't always mean baby a woman has the right to keep or ad-bort or adopt I believe that if a man or woman owes child support jail is no good because first the couts favor women that is a fact and if say for example a woman or man is jailed for back support the average to keep an inmate housed is what 30- to 50 a day lets take the lessor 30 that comes out to to around 930 a month in a lot of cases a lot less than the orderd monthly child support amount . And who is footing the bill the tax payers and most of the time the amount to keep someone locked up per month is a lot more than that the support owed so why not pay that amount to the owed parent and forget about jail because in the long run its costing the taxpayers a lot more in keeping the oweing parent in jail plus welfare for the un supported child.

I say the women are given all the choises he men are not I know a lot of women say the man made a chise to have sex but would thes women that think this way believe its OK if the man wants to keep the baby and the woman does not schouldnt the man be abel to stop her legaly I know it's the woman's body but having it both ways is not right

That's why the guys of my generation kept condoms in there wallet . While not 100 proof, better than nothing. Face it guys knowing what can happen maybe think before you consent, and save the drama.

I say the women are given all the choises he men are not i know alot of women say the man made a chise to have sex but would thes women that think this way believe its ok if the man wants to keep the baby and the woman does not schouldnt the man be abel to stop her legaly i know its the womans body but haveing it both ways is not right


That's all I have been trying to say! Good post! So Talaniman, how does you view change if at all if the women gets pregnet and wants to abort and the man wants to be a man (as you say)and raise this child, I am going to guess that its still the same opinion for you and the man has no choice?

Until the man can carry the child to term and ruin his own body... sorry, he's SOL.

It's not fair. I agree.

It's also not fair that if a woman gets pregnant and he splits, she's left with ALL of the issues to deal with.

It's not fair that no one judges a man for not raising his own flesh and blood and just sending child support every month, but if a woman did that, people would think the absolute worst of her.

It's not fair that women have to deal with menstruation and everything that goes with it every month.

It's not fair that no matter how responsible both parties are, ultimately the final responsibility is the woman's, because it is HER body that conceives.

It's not fair that men can orgasm pretty much every time they have sex, and that so many women can NEVER orgasm from intercourse.

Want me to keep going on about the things that aren't fair between men and women?

Listen carefully, A man makes his choice before he does the deed, because after that the ball is in her court, and it is her call how she plays it. If you wish to change the facts, then you will be fighting a thousand years of tradition and laws, good luck with that. This may seem unfair on its surface, and life is often unfair, but the man has the choice of where he does his deed and with who, so as inviting as it is it is you who must decide to put the ball in her court or not. Trust me, it is too late to call foul, after the deed is done, and there are no do overs. OOOPS! Does NOT count. So the bottom line is be careful and carry a condom in your wallet or two just in case.

Synnen, you going way off course with the differences of a women and a man. I am not arguing that it probably sucks that you have PMS, I can see this every month when my wife goes through this. This can't be altered, this is the anatomy of a women. I am solely speaking about the rights of a father to be and what's fair or should be at least considered, and I can't disagree more with talaniman. I know life is not fair I have been down this road already and face even more challenges as we speak. I think your way thinking is antiquated for these times with all the new rights and laws that women now have that didn't before..

Having a child should be the decision of both parents to be, it takes two to make a child. I would think that most mothers in this situation (not all) are low income as shown by statistics, there for would most likely be an irresponsible decision being made anyway to have a child for whatever reasons the future mother may have. I don't think that all the pro-life groups have any right to decide what a future mother can or can't do with her body, but maybe it's just time that the government steps in to evaluate the parent(s) to show that they are both willing and capable of raising and supporting a child. If they are not then an immediate action should be taken by the court. After all, once the baby is here, the man is told by the court what he must do or pay without objection.

This pregnancy is your responsibility just as much as your girlfriend's.

So should he not have a say in what is to happen? You said it!

Everyone keeps talking about being selfish, who is really being selfish here? The woman knows that the father to be is not going to be around and she will probably struggle with or without a support order and the child will probably live in a substandard environment, and the child will grow up fatherless. Seems to me the mother to be is the one really being selfish and not thinking about anyone but herself.

What it comes down to is that none of this is the baby's fault. Why should the child be punished? Whether the father wants to be a father or not, he did the deed. Yes it takes two but the mother is willing to step up to the plate. Her actions got her pregnant. Could she have stopped him? Of course! But could he have stopped himself. YES! This guy isn't so stupid to think that just because he doesn't want a kid, he couldn't possibly get someone pregnant. You have sex, you could end up with a baby. If you don't want a baby, DON'T HAVE SEX! It's that easy. He knew before he had sex with her that she could get pregnant. He took the risk and now he has to live with the consequences.

If you jump off a bridge into a river, there's a possibility you could drown. You might not. You might live. So do you take the chance and jump and hope you live? NO. (well at least most people wouldn't) If you jump, and you drown, it's because you were stupid. You knew what the consequences could be before you jumped. And you would be naïve to think it couldn't happen to you. You would have no one to blame but yourself. IT's the same with sex. You could end up with a baby. If you're not ready for that, keep it in your pants.

Your right its not the child's fault and should be decided by both parties well before it develops to child.

What I am saying is that whatever choice is made, the choice will affect the mother far more than the father.

After surviving 14 years of being a birthmother (I "stepped up" and "did what was good for the child") I would never ever ever advise someone to go that route.

However... I would NEVER force a woman to give birth to a child she didn't want to give birth to. Pregnancy can be a beautiful thing, but when it's an unwanted pregnancy, even if you love your child, you HATE your body. Everything changes.

Yes, having sex is risking pregnancy. However, consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancy, by either party.

Should men have more rights? Definitely.

Tell me how you'd give them rights without taking away from the rights women have fought for years to have over their own bodies.

Make her abort because he doesn't want a baby, and is scared of the responsibility?

Make her choose adoption? No way in hell. I would never ever ever force someone to go through 9 months of pregnancy, bond with the child, and then have to give the child to someone else who may or may not keep their promises to keep you updated on the child's life.

Give birth and then give the child to the father who wants to take care of him/her? If he wants a child that badly, he can find a surrogate mother and a surgeon willing to transfer the fetus to another womb.

Let him sign away his rights to get out of paying child support? I don't THINK so!

About the only option I can think of is one that most people in the situation of an unwanted pregnancy wouldn't have done anyway: Draw up legal papers that cover the situation in advance, that would allow him to get out of child support, or legally oblige her to continue the pregancy or whatever the couple decides.

How would YOU give men rights in this situation? Seriously... I'd love to know how you'd do it without taking away the woman's rights.

Let him sign away his rights to get out of paying child support? I don't THINK so!


Well based on your quote a woman took any freedom of choice away during. If the mother is so sure that she wants a child and could careless what the man would like or what's best for a child, then the women should stand up and take her own responsibility for her actions and not look someone else to pay for her mistake.

So we have determined by opinion that once pregnant a man has no say. Here is the only solution: Like the government continues to try to protect us from ourselves, they will need to rule based on the terms, conditions and financial situation of both parents.

Its actually sad that society has become what it has.

Dude the Supreme Court has already ruled, Its called Rove vs Wade. Stop whining, you just want to get sex with no strings attached. Then get a vasectomy my gosh. Then you don't have the baby thing to worry about.

Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ½ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
I think the time for not wanting to be a dad is over. If you were that depserate to not be a dad you need to take care of that yourself and not rely solely on her. I conceived a child while taking the pill correctly, no birth control is 100% effective. You should anticipate pregnancy may be an issue if you have sex. That child is yours and I am not sure it will be so easy for you to wash your hands of it, especially if at some point she has to go onto state benefits. You need to accept the consequences of your actions and stop blaming her entirely for this. It takes two to make a baby.

Well based on your quote a woman took any freedom of choice away during. If the mother is so sure that she wants a child and could careless what the man would like or whats best for a child, then the women should stand up and take her own responsibility for her actions and not look someone else to pay for her mistake.

So we have determined by opinion that once pregnant a man has no say. here is the only solution: Like the government continues to try to protect us from ourselves, they will need to rule based on the terms, conditions and financial situation of both parents.

Its actually sad that society has become what it has.

Unfortunately, a few bad apples spoiled the bunch here.

I'm sure that behind every skipped, late, missing, and in arrears child support payment there is a man desperately wanting to see his child, but the mother lied about him, stole from him, and gave a sob story to the judge who ruled in her favor.

I agree that it's not fair that a guy has to pay child support on a baby he never wanted to begin with.

What do you want to do to change it? Make it so that no one ever has to pay child support?

I mean, if all it would take to get out of child support payments is to say "Nope! I don't want this kid!" that almost every guy out there who has kids they didn't plan would be screaming it at the top of their lungs.

Maybe if we just made the words "I Love you" a binding contract, that would work? If he even ONCE says "I love you" and receives sex for it (if she records it, of course) that's saying that he wants to have kids with her and get married next year? Get real!

I KNOW! Let's go back a couple centuries and make it so that if you get CAUGHT having sex (i.e. get pregnant), then you have to get married! And can't get divorced just because you're not happy together!

I agree that society is sad. However, if you don't like the laws, and think that they're unfair... tell me what WOULD be fair. Your statement just said that SHE should have to take responsibility too... she does. She makes a choice, usually early in the pregnancy. Tell me what would make it fair for men that would could enforce across the board.

Well, this dude posted this on October 14 and has not been back, apparently he thought we would side with him on his decision. The girl should be giving birth in a month or so, so there is not much we are going to do here to change this particular situation.

But I do like the way this has turned from a question to an open discussion. We get to see everyone's personal opinions now.

It would be interesting to know what's happening with this!

The person who will suffer the most consequences here is the little child. Is it the child's fault that you didn't want her or him? Do you think people never change their minds? They do and often. Why don't you give this little one a chance? If in fact, the mother does not give this baby up for adoption, then you are going to be the father like it or not.

You can be a absentee father and show uncaring as to the welfare of the person you helped make or you can step up to the plate and make the best of this situation. All children are blessings,, and at the same time, not all parents are blessings. Why don't you try to bless this child that may have your eyes and chin? Don't you want them to have a chance? If you don't like children,either get a vasectomy as stated earlier or give up on women. From your post, you would be doing them a favor.

Sorry I sound mad, but your post made me very upset. Poor little unborn baby. Why don't you tell your folks? They may want to help.

I will only say this once, the child comes first and the petty squabbling is irrelevant. Raise the child in love, and if the parents can get over it, COOL, if not... (bad languauge that will be deleted) Get over yourselves!!

It seems to me you are convinced she did not take the birth control pills properly so you feel that she let you down.

I think this is a very valid feeling... you are angry about it and that is understandable. I don't know whether she let you down or not, and you may never know... but I think you need to deal with this "breach of trust" somehow, and this is separate from the child issue, which you have to deal with also.

So there are two things to deal with. Maybe if you deal with the first it will be easier to deal with the second. Right now you feel a lot of anger.. I would try to find out if she really was irresponsible about the pills and then talk it out.

But you have to get past it... you will have to forgive her so you don't carry this anger through the rest of your life. I know someone who went through the same thing and his anger is still with him and it is very sad to see. He is convinced his X-wife stopped taking the pills so she could have a child. It ruined their relationship.

But they both love their son and though you may not feel ready for a child it might happen and there are many many positive things this can bring to your life.

Good luck!

We can argue all we want about who's responsible and what is and isn't "fair" ; why does the woman get to make all the decisions and why doesn't the man have any say? We can argue "woulda, shoulda, coulda" all night long about her being careful with the pill, him using a condom or having a vastectomy, her not taking her pills on purpose, the list goes on and on. But the bottom line is that the child has to be provided for. That's the philosophy that our society, through the legislatures and the courts, has made law and vigorously enforces. Although we have a very generous welfare system, the actual goal of the powers that be is to do everything possible to keep any child from being a burden on society. That's why child support laws are so aggressively enforced and why men in notready's position will receive so little sympathy. Keeping a child off welfare means that the parents must support him/her. This is why the non-custodial parent has to fork over a weekly sum of money to the custodial parent. It may seem unfair, it may seem biased but, as Rhett Butler said to Scarlett O'Hara, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." That's about the reaction that notready will get from any judge, lawyer, welfare agency or any other entity with the authority to enforce child support laws when he and others of like mind complain how "unfair" the system is. Bottom line is, Mom and dad pay to raise their kids, regardless of who forgot to take their pills, who forgot to put on a condom, who should've known better, who gets to decide to abort or not to abort, etc. etc. The system cares about one thing and only one thing and that is the kid ; that his/her needs are adequately provided for without being a burden on society.

I have a son, and from some of the posts on this thread, I can honestly say I would be ashamed to be a mother to some of you young men. How disgraceful and short sighted and selfish to be worrying only about your own well being when it is a fact that the more often you have unprotected sex, the higher degree of risk.

I am just shaking my head and wondering if you were raised at all or if you were, why did you not listen to your parents? If you feel this way about children now, don't expect to change a lot. If you are dishonerable now, you will always be if that is your desire. Heaven help you, for blessings are not likely to flow in the direction of the selfish.

I am afraid that many of you who put the child last and play the blame game toward the woman will eventually be sifting through the sand and looking for your treasures, at he end of your lives. You may only find sand in the end. How sad.

Either you're a man or your not, you take care of what you have brought into this world. And be very proud of what you've done. I am and all the excuses mean not a dog gone thing at all.

The system cares about one thing and only one thing and that is the kid ; that his/her needs are adequately provided for without being a burden on society.
I agree!

First no one will fully understand till the shoe is on the other foot (Fact). Now onto child support. Let's assume a man loses his job and has trouble finding a new job, let's say that a year or more passes and still no job. The father regardless if he wants or did not want a child can try to file a motion to have his support reduced and I can nearly guarantee the referee will not lower the support based on the new standard "Earning Potential" if the man was making 20.00 per hour and can't find a job for more than 10.00 per hour or not even working, the court tells him he is capable of making 20.00 per hour and this is what the support will be based off.

Second, my wife's co-worker just got divorced he has custody of his child, the ex-wife has 2 other children by a different father. He currently makes more money than his ex-wife and the FOC refused to make her pay him child support based on this.

Third, Support is ordered to reduce the need of state aid. Well regardless if a father is contributing or not, the mother can still collect the State Aid and milk society for her choices..

Snoop, let ME be clear. BOTH mother AND father should assume responsibility of the child. If the father has custody, then the mother SHOULD pay child support for the little one she helped bring into the world.

Let me pose a question to you, snoop. If your parents hadn't of wanted you, would there be an excuse for them to not support you financially while a child? Should accountability and responsibility go by the wayside?

I'll admit, I never asked for child support. I carried the financial burden alone. It was hard, but I did it. I did it FOR my child because I was victimized and the father was an alcoholic and a drug abuser. I did it and I made sure the father did not find out until my son could drive his own car. I take my responsibilities VERY seriously. It irkes me to see some guys snibbling about supporting the little ones who are innocent and need any and all help they can get.

By the way, most people do not collect state aid. How narrow minded to put single mothers in a box. I personally know a few who supported their children without help and by the skin of their teeth.

All men who feel this way avout supporting their own flesh and blood should learn better how to uyse a condom. Most women who find themselves pregnant and unmarried do not plan it... just as men don't always either.

Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ½ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
I am not an expert, But I have been through a very similar situation. I got pregnant, did not want a child yet, wanted an abortion. The father pleaded with me to hand over the child at birth and he would take on all responsibilities. Our relationship was not doing well and we had decided to split. His family got involved and begged me to have the child and hand it over. Seeing they wanted the child so bad, how could I not. We signed a letter stating this and that I hold no financial responsibilities at all and had it noterized. I moved out of the state and when the child was 15 his father fell on hard times and came after me for child support. My letter didn't stand up and wasn't even legal. Been paying child support for 2 years now and I have never met the child but at birth. And do to this I have no legal right to any custody. Get a lawyer please.

I agree and if you think about it women have all the rights for example the draft if there is a war where a draft is implemented it's the men that must go and fight even if they don't want to fight and possibly die. Example 2 Men and women that commit the same crimes are very rarely sentenced the same and it's a fact that there is huge sentencing difference between men and women even when the circumanstances are similar. Men even live less than women this is a fact as well. A woman can use a child and the system to play with the farther but if a man where to attempt this they would be delt with severely by the court.

And finally like I said before consent is one thing being responsible for your act is another but I don't believe that the women schould have all the say weather to keep the child or not give it up or not if this is the way the women want it then men schould have the right to say I will not pay you have the ball in your court so play by yourself.

Well based on your quote a woman took any freedom of choice away during. If the mother is so sure that she wants a child and could careless what the man would like or whats best for a child, then the women should stand up and take her own responsibility for her actions and not look someone else to pay for her mistake.

So we have determined by opinion that once pregnant a man has no say. here is the only solution: Like the government continues to try to protect us from ourselves, they will need to rule based on the terms, conditions and financial situation of both parents.

Its actually sad that society has become what it has.



Agree and if you think about it women have all the rights for example the draft if there is a war where a draft is implemented it's the men that must go and fight even if they don't want to fight and possibly die. Example 2 Men and women that commit the same crimes are very rarely sentenced the same and it's a fact that there is huge sentencing difference between men and women even when the circumanstances are similar. Men even live less than women this is a fact as well. A woman can use a child and the system to play with the farther but if a man where to attempt this they would be delt with severely by the court.

And finally like I said before consent is one thing being responsible for your act is another but I don't believe that the women schould have all the say weather to keep the child or not give it up or not if this is the way the women want it then men schould have the right to say I will not pay you have the ball in your court so play by yourself.

Dude when you give consent you are taking responsibility for your actions. If you don't want that responsibility then 1. keep it in your pants 2 Have a vasectomy 3. Take your chances with birth control. DUH! Your attempts to enjoy the pleasure of sex without responsibility, or consequences, is immature and unrealistic and selfish.

Your feelings will most likely change when you hold your child for the 1st time. Through out my pregancy I resented both my baby and th bloke that gt me pregnant. Th father was gutd when he found out 2. we both love our son. Go easy on her being pregnant is a hed f**k

Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ½ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
Hey, I just read your post. What ever happened with the girlfriend and the baby? Amanda

Please be aware that even if you sign over your rights you could still end up paying child support, you'll just have no rights to seeing the child or making any decisions in the child's life. If she has to seek any type of public assistance for the child the state will automatically file child support because they are going to do what ever they can to get back the money that she gets from the government. Your going to need a lot more than a verbal or written agreement between you & her. This needs to be handled through an attorney and I don't think she will be able to get any government assistance for the child if she makes the agreement not to seek any financial support from the father. Based on what you said about her finances is why I'm mentioning government assistance.

You know what? I wasn't ready to be a mother! But I knew I could never live with myself if I killed my baby, and after feeling that baby move and carrying her for 9 months and going through the birth, I couldn't NOT be a mother. Was it easy? HELL NO! I struggled and struggled and ended up alone because my fiancée decided he could not be a father. Now that she's 12, he's decided he wants to be around in her life. Guess how I feel about that now? He finally understands what he did. My daughter knows what he did. I wish there was something I could do to take that pain away from her.

Life is not always convienent. Life is messy. Life gets complicated. Grow up and deal with it. Get a therapist or counselor if you have to. How can you possibly say you loved your girlfriend and do this to her? Love is for better or worse. Love comes through tough times. You may not want a baby now, but guess what? You got one! So the I didn't want this excuse is too late. You got it. Deal with it. Quit being selfish and thinking about yourself. Because this is truly the most selfish spoiled whiney post I have ever read!

Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ½ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
Not ready to be a Dad but girlfriend will not give up for adoption

You should've decided that before you let yourself out of your pants!

It doesn't really seem to me that anyone has answered the question at hand here. I am also curious from a women's stand point if there is even a way to "sign-off" all child support. If the mother and father get along and the mother has stated that all she wants is a father for her child can she give up those rights of ever asking for child support?

I know many people who have no court ordered child support, but they are available when the mom says she needs something. It helps a lot when the parents are able to work together.