Its been closing 2 months since I last broke up with my ex girlfriend.

I been really stupid by doing stupid mistakes like going to her house without both sides parent's permission, me being like brag too much about myself, impatient, selfish. She finds really hard to forgive me on going to her house thing cause she told me that I can't just stab someone mom's heart and just say is not on purpose and request for being friends, she describe it as "like nailing something on a wall, when take out, there's still be a hole". Just that 1 day of me insisting on going to her house that caused our relationship, just that one day.

Instead of executing the no contact rule properly, I though relieving my broken heart to some friends will work but apparently that's temporarily, some how someone got the info to my ex girlfriend's ear. She jump to conclusion, misunderstanding me by saying that people call her evil, heartless. She decided. Either we being really close together or NOT AT ALL. She ask me who would I want to be your friends? Damn, it really hurts me a lot. She also say that I'm never being myself, to her I always copy someone's style or wtvr which is not true that I copy someone's style but not being myself might be true.

She want me to go for my ambition, my aim. She called me to accept the fact that we can be together, saying she can't cope with the way I do things and my way of living. Want me to get on with my life and future. She said that she is happier without me in her way. She also added that Exam, family and teachers and she really don't want me to be another problem in her head anymore.

She blocked me in msn. Both of us are still students of the same school, different class but having the same group of friends.

To me is really beyond my reach, I have absolutely no idea or certainty on how to repair this. Most of the context here is stated by her via email just yesterday night.

What I really want now is to be friends with her, after being friends back then be the friend who can be a listener to her problems and lend her a hand when she needs help. I don't want to lose a good friend like her. I know is my fault that caused her like this. I'm currently trying to move on but in the future or sooner I want to be her friend again.

Please Anyone? Please help me in my situation. I beg you dearly please. :( I'm being strong to move on but I need to know how to be friends back with her and be a close friend after that.

Simply put - if she doesn't want to be friends then you're not going to be friends. You can't make her be your friend - it sounds at the moment as if she doesn't like you very much anyway and is happier without you.


What I really want now is to be friends with her, after being friends back then be the friend who can be a listener to her problems and lend her a hand when she needs help. I don't want to lose a good friend like her.

Listen to what she's telling you. You didn't listen before and she broke it off with you.

Listen to what she's saying - she wants time to herself and is happier without you.

Stop thinking about your own ego and listen. Forget about what you want.

Let her go and learn to behave better.

Now is not the time to try to be friends with her. Now is the time to focus on you and getting your life back in order. You can't be friends with someone you recently split up with when you feel this way if you want to get over her. That's going to make things ten times harder for you. Leave her alone, don't call, don't text. If you see her around school, be polite and that's it.

Its too late for all of that friendship stuff. She doesn't want you in her life so stay out of it. You can be as stubborn as you want, but she will only get madder than heck if you don't leave her alone.

Is just like 4 months being with her. Is that still not possible? I am her first love anyway and we're still young like teenagers, her 15 and me 17 years of age. I'm sure there's a way. Is there?
Will time help for her to get over it in the future?
I really don't mind being patient and wait. I asked some adults on helping me with this situation as well and they say for now, move on and let nature takes it course, give her time to think properly, she did put thoughts and effort into the email she sent to me last 2 day. Cause like when somebody feels really mad or annoyed, they will say many things without even thinking through.
I'm moving on with life now, being happy and getting over it already. Taking the opportunity this time to self improve myself. Studies is never the boundary even being in a relationship for us.
I'm just not that type of person who gives up easily.

What the others have said here is right , you need to leave her alone and get on with your healing process. You say you just want to be friends but if your truly honest with yourself you just want that so you can try and get her back.

The more you push the more she will pull away.

Your going through what we see here every day and don't really believe there isn't a chance but just go and read a lot of the threads on here to get an indication of how it usually works out.

It's not easy Bud sorry , but the sooner you realise she's made up her mind and you need to move on the qiucker the healing begins.

Good Luck!

I would like to add this. I remembered when we're together, we wrote stuff about each other in our own respective diary. It seems like she really wants to be in a committed relationship on what she wrote in her book about our love, her feelings, but I think she's afraid to make commitments. She even wrote all the mistakes I have done in her book, that's what her sis told me. She asked bizarre questions that I can't give a definite answer to it.

We're still young I must say again, she's 15 and I'm 17 going on 18. Maybe confusion and/or anger strikes her maybe that cause her like this?

Should I reply her email that she sent which most of it is like the contents above on my post? If I should, what should I reply?

I'm just saying that, I understand guys, for now, I just move on and heal myself. Improve myself into a better person.

Thanks,
Carlson.

She may have written stuff but she's changed her mind , and being 15 she'll change it again many times as she grows and learns lifes lessons.

Move on and let her do her thing , then she may just miss you later down the track but for now she's made her mind up and the more you contact her the more she will pull away.

Hey friend4u178, man, you made me realize something. A clearer picture of my problem. Thanks a lot. :)
Any more advice, hints, guides anyone would like to add please do so.
Thank you in advance.

My advice, let the emotional dust settle before you attempt a friendship, right now all it would do is create false hope and confusion. Wait until you heal, and by that time, I doubt you will even want to be friends with her.

Hey thanks Rome. :) actually I'm being optimistic and targeting like more then friends after being friend with her. Thanks a lot for your advice.
Any advice and guide is most welcome if you want to add. :)

You can't force a friendship with her man, I'm telling your from experience and others will too. Trying to be friends to produce a relationship is not going to work. Just cut ties, it will all turn out better in the end

Hey thanks Rome. :) actually i'm being optimistic and targeting like more then friends after being friend with her. Thanks alot for your advice.
Any advice and guide is most welcome if you want to add. :)

Not going to work, trust me. If you want to be her friend, then ask yourself this: Can you handle seeing her being intimate with another guy?

Doubt you can, nor would you want to. Getting stuck in the friends zone is probably about as demoralizing and heartbreaking as anything. Don't do it.

Oh I see. Right. I do as you say so then. Is there a step by step guide I can follow that you can give?

Just look back at my post, IsneezyFunny and KCtigers... That's a good how to guide, along with a lot of what not to do's

Relationships - Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/)

This is a must read!

Oh i see. right. I do as you say so then. Is there a step by step guide i can follow that you can give?

As Rome stated, look back at our stories (mine sucks, but whatever) and go from there. My best advice would be to write out 5 things you want to do for YOU. To make you better, and work on that.

Thanks for the advice man! :) damn I feel so secure in this forum. :)
Anymore advice and guide is most welcome and much appreciated.

Threads merged and edited

Hey guys, most of the content is from her email on Sunday which she sent to me. I miss out this particular thing in the email. They are as follows.

She thinks that I play games with her by calling her friends and our mutual friends to forgive me, say that she's evil, unkind, heartless. She think that I arrange all this to the friends and talk and consult her about it. And she said too (think in a sarcastic way) that I am so good in playing games with her that she don't want to play anymore.

That really bothers me and I think my image as well to our mutual friends. How can I handle this situation? Tell her upfront via email or text message and explain to her? Or should I just sit and do nothing? >< lol. That statement really annoys me man and is my image here. Maybe our friends know, maybe not, but whatever it is, I need to do something? Or nothing?

Any advice is most welcome. :)

Don't do anything, refer to my rules for NC. It's a stupid mind game to get you to talk to her somehow. Ignore it and get a new circle of friends

Q: We live near each other or go to school together; we are going to run into each other. What do I do then?
A: Be short and polite. Tell them “hi” and that you are running late. Take care. Very simple and doesn't lead to a epic conversation about your relationship.

Got this from your NC rule thread. Just read that thread and is a very nice and useful thread there. Good idea to follow that rule? Since we're still school mates and will definitely run into her. But is it OK to say hi? Will she think too much? And by the way the school is new so the community is not big, is pretty small as the school is like 2 years old only. Lol. Both of us previously came from a large community before moving to this school.

Details help I guess. :)

I worked with my ex, if she said "hi" that's all I replied with. I didn't have to engage in a conversation with her, nor did I want too. I was focused on my life and how I was working things out inside not what she thought of a simple gesture.

People say I know a lot about these relationship stuff but I don't think I do actually. So much to learn. Anyway, NC rule is a way to lead for you to heal completely? If so, after the NC rules... whats next? Attempt to be friends with her if I have no feeling of being together with her? Because really she knows me too well, more then any girl I met or dated before. Don't want to lose a person like her, although we broke and those thing about her saying after that as I really screwed up after the break up for a month, I still have her full trust. Might be stupid question to ask, but should I do the same?

After you heal, which I will tell you, will take MONTHS, you probably won't even care to be her friend. It's hard to imagine right now, but it's true. I am "friends" with my ex, simply because after 5 months of strict NC, I had her friends asking me to be friends, if I could talk to her because she's upset, so I said sure. We don't hang out, we rarely talk. We haven't spoken in months, it's the way I like it.

You will meet plenty of other girls, believe me. I was hooking up and talking to a lot of girls after my break up. I didn't realize how much confidence I gained from going to the gym, I can walk up to anyone and start a conversation, which is how I met my fiancé. She is shy, I approached her and we hit it off. Started friends but the connection was so intense it quickly grew.

It will take months even if is like a short term relationship? Mine is like 4 months only, but we did so many stuff that 4 months feel like it's a year plus.
And is weird, when she is around, her close friends who are girls talk to me very openly and like normally but when she is around, its like so minimal talking to me. To me is weird. Is it? Why this happen?
Congratulation man on being with your fiancée. :D

This is why I say, stay away from mutual friends or even her friends. Trust me, it will only hinder your progress. There is no set time to the recovery process, some take longer some take shorter.

Thanks for the congrats man

Oh sweet. OK then. :) for now, I'll do with the nc rule. Thanks a lot. Any problem I'll update with post and/or contact you. :) one more question, what if, she suddenly after like in the future about 2 months maybe? Text that she miss me. I suppose I ignore the text or take some time only reply it? Actually I know she do but didn't voice out to anyone, my friends which are not her friends realize whenever I chat with other girls, she look, or whenever I sit alone doing my work, she always take a peak at me.

Curiousity my friend, that's all that is. I wouldn't sweat it. If she texts you, handle it then. Post on here, I've been here for a year and half, I'm not going anywhere, a lot of my friends are on here and they helped me through a very tough time and still help me if I ever steer off course.

Wow a year and a half? Sweet. This forum must be the right place then. :] I will keep it update. :D Thanks a lot man.

Please follow Romes advice as he is dead on, and eventually you'll be able to have fun with your own friends, and activities, and not care or worry about whatever she does. There will be many options, and opportunities, when you have gotten over this break up.

You also can update, and give feedback on this same thread, you don't have to start another post about the same situation.

Now if you have a question about another female, thats different.

OK talai. Am doing by starting the NC rule. :)

Quick update, today after the exam, only I was in the room where the upper grades students put their bags. My bag was beside her beg and I saw the notebook that she usually writes with about me. I was seriously tempted to see what's the update in her diary so I opened it. :o I then discover that she... wrote the stuff that she did wrong and the stuff that I did wrong and it was just recent. I manage to read about 2 points on each only as the next moment, the bell rang and I know I won't be alone anymore.
What's does this mean? Why would she care to write? Write mistakes she done to me, I understand as she might want to change from that, but why write about me?

I think you already acknowledge that fact that the girl is right to a great extent, that you not acting like yourself, and I do think if you don't act like yourself you definitely acting somebody else, first thing you have to do is you have to work on be original that means been yourself, and you have to try and figure out what your lapses are what she don't like because relationship is not about one person is about two of you, if she agree to be your friend and she don't like the way you act it's not going to last. So to be able to win her she already give you a clue act like yourself, try your best to be the best and above all act respnsibly at all time, your new life will reflect your actions and sooner people will notice and she will too, then she might give you a sign to come or you try and be nice all time she will definitely look forward to spend some time with you to know what happen, try a complete makeover of your character. It will help.
Thanks
Lewis

NC rule (form roman), work on improving myself (KC, lewis) is what I have to accomplish now. Awesome advice lewis. :) Thanks a lot. :)
But I still think is weird her making a long list of her mistakes and my mistakes. Like I say she making a list of her mistakes is normal, but her making a list of my mistakes? Something fishy might be going on here. Or is there not? Lol.

Also, every time before she leaves to home, she would take a look where I am without me noticing. Roman told me its curiosity but wth? Why would she care? And the list of mistakes thing, on my previous post. Is she writing it to relieve her stress, or does she want to remember it, or what? Why she take that trouble to write a page long filled with words of my mistakes. Although is not for me, but she treat the book like me for example, I(her) don't understand why you(me) have to do this. That's a very random sample. But yeah. Now my curiosity level is high. Lol.

It means you're a snoop, and are opening up a can of worms by reading her private thoughts. That's the point of a diary isn't it?

I don't know of any female who leaves their diary around in public, let alone where an ex has access, but I do know that snooping in her stuff has just given rise to more "why is she doing what she is doing" questions, that will make you want to talk to her to get answers to, and she gets to live rent free in your head.

That will do you no good, because any conversation you have will lead to more confusion, and plant the seeds of false hope.

I don't know what's on her mind, nor will I assume her motives, but I do know the seed has been planted that will distract you to what's really important, and that's you getting your own act back together, and stop being stuck on her, and what she is doing and thinking.

Its been my experience, and you can verify this on this forum, that exes do some strange things to make you initiate contact, to get the part of you they miss the most back. Not for romance mind you, but friendship, and someone comfortable to talk to, to relieve their own aloneness after a break up. That will only last until they have other interests to spend their time on (the new romance potential)

Lets be friends is their thinking. False hope is what you will get from this. That only prolongs the misery, and pain, of the break up, and makes it much worse, and much harder to get through.

Don't look deeper into this than what it is, and recognize you essentially broke NC by snooping, because you were looking for some glimmer of hope she is missing you, and wanting you back.

You just couldn't help it could you? Like stealing candy, and wondering why you have a bellyache, and aren't hungry for dinner.

You have to do better for yourself or your mind will play more tricks on you.

Wise Words always spoken tal, I couldn't have said it better myself.


You need to stop snooping and wondering everything she is doing, you should be worried about the most important thing of all and that is she doesn't want to be with you doesn't matter what she writes in her personal diary.
Or how she checks around to see if you are there. For all I know it could be an illusion.
Bottom line is that you must have no contact, stop prying, and snooping where your nose don't belong. It will continue to set you back. If you respect her or the relationship you had you will let it be. If you continue with this behavior you may ruin any chance of you and her ever getting back together.

It means you're a snoop, and are opening up a can of worms by reading her private thoughts. That's the point of a diary isn't it?

I don't know of any female who leaves their diary around in public, let alone where an ex has access, but I do know that snooping in her stuff has just given rise to more "why is she doing what she is doing" questions, that will make you want to talk to her to get answers to, and she gets to live rent free in your head.

That will do you no good, because any conversation you have will lead to more confusion, and plant the seeds of false hope.

I don't know what's on her mind, nor will I assume her motives, but I do know the seed has been planted that will distract you to what's really important, and that's you getting your own act back together, and stop being stuck on her, and what she is doing and thinking.

Its been my experience, and you can verify this on this forum, that exes do some strange things to make you initiate contact, to get the part of you they miss the most back. Not for romance mind you, but friendship, and someone comfortable to talk to, to relieve their own aloneness after a break up. That will only last until they have other interests to spend their time on (the new romance potential)

Lets be friends is their thinking. False hope is what you will get from this. That only prolongs the misery, and pain, of the break up, and makes it much worse, and much harder to get through.

Don't look deeper into this than what it is, and recognize you essentially broke NC by snooping, because you were looking for some glimmer of hope she is missing you, and wanting you back.

You just couldn't help it could you? Like stealing candy, and wondering why you have a bellyache, and aren't hungry for dinner.

You have to do better for yourself or your mind will play more tricks on you.

Wow... you're damn right man. Although after reading it, I feel very little hurt but you're so right... I shouldn't have done it. I did not carry out my reponsibility on keeping the NC rule. F-ing. I need to get myself back together fully first now, not half way through. I need to try to completely makeover my bad character I have. Such wise advice like jol say.


Wise Words always spoken tal, I couldn't have said it better myself.


You need to stop snooping and wondering everything she is doing, you should be worried about the most important thing of all and that is she doesn't want to be with you doesn't matter what she writes in her personal diary.
Or how she checks around to see if you are there. For all I know it could be an illusion.
Bottom line is that you must have no contact, stop prying, and snooping where your nose don't belong. It will continue to set you back. If you respect her or the relationship you had you will let it be. If you continue with this behavior you may ruin any chance of you and her ever getting back together.

Yeah... true. Could be an illusion or maybe curiosity. I read her diary about the mistakes I done (which I won't touch it again ever), she did say that I made her think through the mistakes and she want to express it there.

I'm not hiding anything on my problem here, I'm not a person that gives up easily. To me, I just think that lack of communication between us from her and lack of honesty from my side which I'm not honest most of the time as I always try to impress her after she touched my heart with something I can't recall.

And one more thing, she told her friend which is a mutual friend which that friend told her boyfriend and the boyfriend told me that there is chance for me to get back to her if I know my mistakes and/or something special happens. Or else... I not sure. That's all.

He said, she said is not credible, and may not be accurate. Ignore that kind of BS gossip, as it only breeds false hope.

True tal. Thanks so much for your time. :)

That email too I remember she said that I play games with her like tricks and stuff which is not true. Should I send her a email to make it right? My friends recommend that I should cause playing games is a really bad thing. Should I guys?

Your kidding right? Don't break NC. Stay on the path as something's you can't make right, and its not worth it to.

That email too i remember she said that i play games with her like tricks and stuff which is not true. Should i send her a email to make it right? My friends recommend that i should cause playing games is a really bad thing. Should i guys?

NO you shouldn't FULL STOP. Don't you want the pain to start disappearing!!

Be honest with yourself , are you just wanting to do this to regain some sort of contact??

No. Just thought of getting things right but all right then I'll maintain the NC I'm doing now then.

Haven't made any contact and continuing NC for 2 weeks and running.

Okay, glad to see you made the right choice, add her e-mail address to SPAM because that's exactly what those piece of crap e-mails are

Hi. I have been it situations like this many of times. You only need to play it cool and maybe even try forget about her for a while. She may come to you first. If not don't bombard her just say the occasional hi. Trust me girls love a cool guy and even the chase of one.

Okay, glad to see you made the right choice, add her e-mail address to SPAM because that's exactly what those piece of crap e-mails are

I did it last week. Followed most of your NC rule. :) I'm glad myself. :)


hi. I have been it situations like this many of times. You only need to play it cool and maybe even try forget about her for a while. She may come to you first. If not don't bombard her just say the occasional hi. Trust me girls love a cool guy and even the chase of one.
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Yeah. I realised it last few days. :D Thanks for your advice. :) In fact I barely think of her, just occasional since I see her everyday in school.

Just an update. My school's summer holiday has just started today all of a sudden as it suppose to start next week. That doesn't matter. I just say that I won't be seeing my ex for the summer holiday or maybe just 2 to 3 times hang out with mutual friends, but I did not say bye to her or have a great holiday or whatever when school ends and I just leave home.

I wonder. Did I do the right thing? As I'm carrying out this NC rule now. I'm just not sure. My best friend asked me whether I said bye to her, I told him I didn't and I actually felt abit bad as I know she still do care for me despite all her action like blocking me in msn and more. Then my best friend said I should have at least said bye or something like that. Again, did I do the right thing?

You do the right thing by worrying about yourself, not someone who has made it clear they no longer want you in their life. Stop caring about her feelings and deal with your own.

Just an update. My school's summer holiday has just started today all of a sudden as it suppose to start next week. That doesn't matter. I just say that i won't be seeing my ex for the summer holiday or maybe just 2 to 3 times hang out with mutual friends, but i did not say bye to her or have a great holiday or whatever when school ends and i just leave home.

I wonder. Did i do the right thing? as i'm carrying out this NC rule now. I'm just not sure. My best friend asked me whether i said bye to her, i told him i didn't and i actually felt abit bad as i know she still do care for me despite all her action like blocking me in msn and more. Then my best friend said i should have atleast said bye or something like that. Again, did i do the right thing?

Stop doubting yourself. Stick with your decision of remaining in NC. You worry too much about satisfying her, and want to be the good guy. You are the good guy when you respect that she ended this, and you are giving her what she asked for.

Thank you very much. :) Just want to know that's all. I'll update here when anything happens. :)

Carrying out NC since 29 June.

Ok. Just a quick update. Tomorrow, just saying that my sis and I are going to watch my best friend's football match before he leaves to excel his career in football in another county and is probably is his last game before he leave and as his best friend I must watch it. My sis who knows everything that is happened between my ex girlfriend and me is a good friend to her, just asked my ex if she can tell her mom to give us a lift, she said no problem and she had asked her mom to come to my house to give my sis and I a lift to the match. She is coming along with her cousin, which is my friend as well with my sis and I to watch the match. (detail helps :) ) Btw, her mom maybe know about me and her.
So I suppose that I just stay cool and calm and act like everything is normal, right?

Since you got into this, I supposed you can be civilized about it.

Everything went smooth. :) Just updating.

Goes to show what you can do when you put your mind to it.

Details please?

Well erm... ended is her dad who pick my sis, my friend and I up from my house. And I don't think her dad about me and his daughter(me ex), and I think only the mom know. So all of us when with her cousin and her little bro as well with her dad there. I acted normal, being polite with her dad, chatting with her dad but did not talking to her at all. I actually remained quite cool and calm throughout the time we had watching my best friend's game. Maybe I'm going through this NC rule that I don't actually feel whatever when she just like while waiting for the game or break time in between, she suddenly just bring her little bro and her cousin to the playground to chill there. I didn't even want to take notice at her if she looks at me or whatever, although no doubt, I still like her from the bottom of my heart.
Talked with her dad a lot about football that's all. Ended when they have to go, I just play my part or being polite by saying bye to my ex's family, all of them except her said bye... and her father even before he leaves, he patted me at the back and said bye instead of just bye. (Detail helps, haha)
Basically, my ex and I kept our distance, occasionally we look at each other without the other one noticing. For me, my sis just tells me when she looks at me. Which I have no idea why.
I made it very detail. :) It seems pretty long, sorry. :)

Glad everyone had a good time, that's the thing. Back to NC.

Glad it worked out in good favor, next time thought, I would take public transportation instead of asking my ex's parents

My sis just asked without my permission. Lol. Yeah, glad it went well. Back to NC and will update more here if there's any.

I rather ask now then later. I just got this question roaming for a couple of days. Even if I heal, will she be able to heal? Cause I just don't feel she would heal. You get what I mean? Can't describe in detail of the question but that's basically what I think.

She will if she wants to. I'm sure she will get her own life and be happy, if she wants to.

Is just me, I just don't feel that she wants to heal from it. Maybe is just me thinking too much.

I think so, too! Your thinking way too much about her, and what she will do. What your going to do, is where your thinking should be.

Imagine that time man before NC. Lol. Still carrying out my daily routine on self improvement and the NC rule.

One thing I just realize... trust level among my ex and I are still up there.
Just saying.

Oh yeah... a few of my friends and my ex are going on this vacation trip organized by the school. I didn't go cause she is going (NC rule you know) so I joined another vacation trip organized by the school. I don't think I should say have a good vacation or whatever to her huh? 3/4 of my heart is telling me not to but the other 1/4 tells me to.

NC since 29th June

Keep NC, and the trust level between you now means NOTHING, just saying.

All right.

It is wise to ignore whatever people talking about me and my ex especially them talking to my ex right? I mean I feel that anger and uncomfortable when people do that. How can I handle this type of situation?

I know that my friends are well aware, even to this day, that I DO NOT want to hear about my ex. In my mind, she is dead, so talking about her etc. just isn't productive at all. Set the expectations. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but let it be known (as if it shouldn't be anyway) that you just don't want to hear or talk about your ex.

I mean like her friend, like not my friend. I be very open here, the friend which I think is whatever(interested or interesting) to her, is like insulting me behind my back, I get to know this as one of my friend just tell me. What I feel now is like, sort of mixture of hate and like towards my ex and as for my ex towards me, I think she hates me(I always expect the worst). What's bothering me is how can I handle this type of situation even for the future (with maybe another incident like this with another girl)?

I really don't follow you too well, but it seems to me like you need to separate yourself from this BS drama that is apart of your life. If you do your job, your ex will have ZERO to do with your life or most people in it.

OK... will do. Thanks.

What your Ex or for that matter anyone else says about you is totally out of your control so no point worrying about it.

What people think about you is the important thing , and they'll think of you as a good person if you demonstrate that through your actions , then whatever anybody has said about you doesn't matter.

You just made me fell better. :) This NC thing is harder and longer then I expect, cause I still feel the sting when my ex talk to someone else but not as much.

Ok, so I have been going NC since 29th June and I been feeling real easy and happy now. Saying first to prevent confusion, although she blocked me in msn until now but she didn't block me in skype. So today suddenly I feel abit different after seeing her skype pm says "really want to tell you, what you made me do".

I know she is that type of girl who takes time to do things and think properly as she never let her parents know about personal stuff especially our past relationship. So it a sudden strike to me that she wants to tell me something without telling me directly. You get what I mean guys? Half of my instinct tells me to talk to her, but the other half says continue NC. Yes nc I know but I do read stories here that the some actually brake nc and got a very good result as it took them enough time with the nc.

Answer my questions . I don't want to make a wrong decision like if I choose to continue nc then I miss the opportunity for the better.

I do care about her and I be frank here that it won't affect my progress of NC if I do initiate some contact especially on that type of problem like her pm.

Thank you in advance.

The only type of communication worth any merit is DIRECT communication. Reading into anything else is an absolute waste of time. If she wants to get ahold of you, she needs to find you directly! Continue onto NC. Games are for children.

Her skype pm says "really want to tell you, what you made me do".



What you made her do?? Come on, can't you see her laying the guilt trip on you?? Making this your fault, and she bears no blame?? Not a good idea to break NC!

Okie dokie. Good point guys. Think I'll just not break nc then. Will update on more in the future. :)

Ok a quick update on my progress and happening now. :)
Its been going pretty good I suppose so far. Been feeling very good with my new girl, but when I go out with her, my mind automatically brings some memory when I was with my ex, but I try to shake it off always. Can't lie to myself the fact that I still miss my ex a little, but I think I'm at the stage where I'm cool with her going on a date with another guy.

I been avoiding any status from social networking of my ex's possible, like knowing it but do nothing about it due to sticking to NC.

Just to me is like, her happenings is abit messy I would say. Not sure whether to give her a hand or just leave it.

I do have a question, in what situation should I brake NC and intiate contact with her?

Btw, her birthday is coming up, next month, 4th September. I know what to do for that I suppose. :)

Nothing at all!!

Erm OK. One question bother my mind sometimes.
By undergoing NC, what benefit do I get out of it? Besides my own healing.

You will be able to make better decisions based on facts, and not just hurt feelings. You will be able to deal with yourself better, and what life throws at you, a be able to see your options, and opportunities, and make the right adjustments to achieve your own happiness..

Oh... nice answer. Thumbs up. :)

Oh yea when I share with my friends that I'm undergoing nc, most of them were clueless what I'm talking about, I mean about nc.

Is this nc rule new? Cause est. 7/10 people don't know about NC. Lol.

It is your own fault.Take it from me a guy just like you,that you got to listen what your girl want bro remember always listen and you r relationship will always last.depending on the girl

Its another way of saying leave her alone, and its been around forever, as that's what most people do after a break up.

The term might be newer, but the actions, of the plan, are not.

Hmm. OK. Yea that's true. But most people around me still like bother their ex or wtvr and to me is like they annoy them. So my thought is I'm ahead by going total nc. Lol.

Yes you are for sure.

And I suppose is a good thing for me to focus 100&#37; on my new girl huh. :)

Your catching on quick, my friend. If you have a new girl, why even worry about the old one? Who has that kind of time on their hands?

True... yeah you're right. Just like erm... miss the old one abit that's all, but I think it will eventually be fine.

Sure you will, as it's a big job just paying attention to the one you have, and figuring her out. How are you going to know if she is worth all the emotional trouble she will cause you? Or you will cause her. You have to pay attention to make an informed decision. You may as well have fun doing it. There is no hurry you know.

You know tal, get to thin of it, you're right, no hurry. :)

But I think I just want to avoid any pain from my ex by still going NC, you know. Cause 2 reasons a person wants to communicate, one is to gain pleasure and the other is to avoid pain. Tell me if I'm wrong. So to be on the safe side I avoid it.

Currently, my ex is sort of confused maybe, with her status showing which it can't slip off my eyes. But oh well, I suppose that I should just remain NC. I do worry abit about her though.

EX?? I meant go slow with the new girl, the ex is the past, leave that alone, but deal with the present.

Confession- I worried about my exes too, wacky females!! That can't stop you though, from moving forward. She will figure it out in time.

What I meant was like you say not in a hurry with the current. But you know just emphasizing about my actions towards the ex.

For me I just hope my ex is doing fine. So what if the ex initiate contact?

You decide then if you want to talk to her or not. You have a girl right now so quit worrying about your ex. You are way too wrapped up in your ex to have another girl around in my opinion. Just enjoy and let the cards fall where they may.

Yea kc. Maybe. I think I should give another couple of weeks before going deep with my current one.

You should wait until your over your Ex , otherwise the new girl just becomes the Rebound.

Not fair on her!!

Relationships always end just remember there is always somebody else out there for you trust me

You should wait until your over your Ex , otherwise the new girl just becomes the Rebound.

Not fair on her!!

Yeah get to think of it, its unfair.


Relationships always end just remember there is always somebody else out there for you trust me

I know xemnas. :)

Hey I'm back. Ok so my school just ended summer holiday yesterday. Started school today. And my ex's birthday is tomorrow, 4th sept. I asked my mom what should I do, cause my sis and I got her a present. My mom told me to wish her happy birthday but allow my sis to pass her the presents. Is that a good idea? I need asap response! Quite short notice I know. Lol.

I wouldn't have anything to do with her birthday, period. No presents, no saying, "Happy Birthday," no nothing... that's just me though. Donate the gift to charity or something.

Same school for me lol. I should wish her just to be polite. And is my sis who is going to give it to her cause we share the same friends (for now).

OK just last 2 week, she was shouting at her Facebook status, "don't know whether to trust you or not; Overjoyed or cry in tears; Just really can't get you out of my mind".

Leave the FB stuff alone... it causes too much confusion. If you see her wish her a Happy B-Day and be on your way. Short and sweet, nothing more.

All right Kc. Thanks a lot. :)

You owe this girl nothing , least a Birthday present. Your minds playing tricks with you and it's just a subconscience effort at getting some sort of contact.

And stay away from Facebook!!!

Ok so everything went well today. All of a sudden during midnight about 12 right after I wished her through sms cause want to be one of the first ones to wish. She replied and asked me to go to Facebook to chat. She apologize and say this and that. I just treat it as a friendly gesture. She was very happy with the present that I gave her and she personally gave me a slice of her cake. But yeah that's my report for the happenings with her onher birthday today.

Everything went, to be honest, better then I thought.
So haha. God has answered my prayers. Praise the lord.

Guess this NC thing, gets me closer to my ex. Lol. We're cool with each other and like get along well now with minimal effort from my side. All I do is NC. Haha. :) Is amazing how things can change in such a short time.