[F][F]Hi, I recently got in contact with an ex-boyfriend who completely broke my heart 14 years ago. Our relationship was intense, we fought often about stupid things, but I've never gotten over him. We started talking again and all the feelings came back. He lives in another state now and we've only seen each other as we look now by pictures. He wants to move back to my city and has even talked marriage. BUT.... he's living with an ex-girlfriend, he's under-employed and has dreams of becoming a famous singer. I can sort of deal with all that, but recently he confessed to taking pain killers which a "friend" gives to him. He likes to mix it with alcohol. Well, I asked him to please stop doing that, I can't condone that type of behavior. He said I was trying to control his life and that he wouldn't stop. I explained that I care about him and don't want to see anything bad happen to him, but he wouldn't budge. He's making me out to be the bad person for trying to make him stop. We're both in our mid-30's and I feel like he hasn't grown up much, but I can't help caring about him and wanting to be with him. I need advice. Should I stop trying to make him quit the pills or should I just find someone else? Please help!

Call Narcotics Anonymous. They can give you better advice than we can. Mine would be "Stay away."