View Full Version : Same old love story.
XM8
Jun 24, 2009, 04:41 PM
Hi..
You probably get these questions all the time, but I'd appreciate some help anyway...
There's this girl at school who I think likes me but I'm not sure if she does. How can I tell if I'm in her "friend zone" and what can I do to avoid it?
She's been telling me a lot of personal stuff lately.. and we haven't known each other so long. We go to school together but only chat online.. so I'm thinking does this mean she takes me for just another good friend?
Thanks,
-Xm8
talaniman
Jun 24, 2009, 05:13 PM
Ask her.
ZoeMarie
Jun 24, 2009, 05:15 PM
Only one way to find out, as Tal said, ask her.
XM8
Jun 24, 2009, 06:02 PM
Ask her? Wouldn't that be a bit awkward? Wouldn't that risk our friendship as well?
Besides, I've never even talked to her in real life... just on msn (enen though we've had long and deep conversations).
Homegirl 50
Jun 24, 2009, 06:06 PM
Then ask her on MSN.
ZoeMarie
Jun 24, 2009, 06:06 PM
do you like her? If you like her, wouldn't you want to know how she feels? How long do you want to go on wondering. Maybe it would risk your friendships, sometimes in life, you got to take risks! =)
XM8
Jun 24, 2009, 06:11 PM
Well I guess you're right, what have I got to lose anyway? Never was much of a success with girls anyway.
I have a question though... Don't girls like guys who have things in common with them? Cus me and this girl have a lot of things in common...
I also told her I might get my new record played on the biggest radio station in the country and she's all like "oh yea, that's amazing, i'm so proud of you bla bla bla" is that a bonus?
Thanks
ZoeMarie
Jun 24, 2009, 06:15 PM
It could be a bonus. Kind of hard to tell because any of your friends would probably be proud of you, you know? It is nice to have things in common. How old are the two of you anyway? Are you old enough to drive? You could ask her out to dinner
XM8
Jun 24, 2009, 06:18 PM
Yea I was thinking anyone would say that... well I'm 17 real soon and she's 15. And nope I don't have a license.
Already tried asking her over to my place but she's on holiday then.. I left her a message asking her if she wants a drink, so I'll just have to see.
Come to think of it, what is it exactly that I'm supposed to ask her?
"Hey, how's it going - oh btw, do you love me?" lol.
Can someone please elaborate on that?
Thanks
ZoeMarie
Jun 24, 2009, 06:22 PM
How about "hey! would you like to go on a date sometime?" that way she won't be so put on the spot, but since you're requesting a date she'll know that you're interested and her answer will hopefully indicate whether she is interested in you.
XM8
Jun 24, 2009, 06:24 PM
All right well I'll try... hopefully it works
Thanks
There isn't anything else I should be worried about though, right?
ZoeMarie
Jun 24, 2009, 06:31 PM
What should you be worried about? Worst case scenario is she says no, which isn't all that bad because then you won't have to wonder. Guesswork can be stressful. Lol
XM8
Jun 24, 2009, 06:34 PM
Well.. if she says no it would pretty much suck because she's a girl that's not easy to find, unique in many ways... I can't explain it, but you probably understand.
And yea, I know - "there's plenty more fish in the sea" - well unfortunately I'm no fisherman.
Thanks ;-)
ZoeMarie
Jun 24, 2009, 06:36 PM
lol. You'll be fine. Keep us posted. =)
XM8
Jun 24, 2009, 06:36 PM
OK, thanks for the help - will do :)
Justwantfair
Jun 25, 2009, 08:39 AM
I think I have been confused there is a girl that you like from school.
Yet you only talk to her through MSN?
She is now your good friend and you like her?
She is two years your minor?
Personally I think that if you like somebody and want to invest in a relationship with someone, there has to be face to face contact, before that decision can be made.
kctiger
Jun 25, 2009, 08:42 AM
Here is the key to approaching women:
You walk up to them, confident, and sure of yourself. Talk to them, BS with them and ask them out... BUT, make sure the answer they give has ZERO consequence on your feelings... in other words, you need to make sure you don't care either way if they do or don't want to go out with you...
99% of the time, it works all the time! If you like someone, go for it, and if they say no, SO WHAT! There are more women out there, believe that.
I am dead serious about this approach too! This is advice I wish I had at your age.
Justwantfair
Jun 25, 2009, 08:45 AM
Here is the key to approaching women:
You walk up to them, confident, and sure of yourself. Talk to them, BS with them and ask them out...BUT, make sure the answer they give has ZERO consequence on your feelings...in other words, you need to make sure you don't care either way if they do or don't want to go out with you...
99% of the time, it works all the time!
I wish I could rep you, but you have this down well.
There is a thrill to the chase of a guy who isn't swooning for you, who gives attention but just enough for the female to wonder. Creates a challenge and intrigue.
ZoeMarie
Jun 25, 2009, 08:47 AM
99% of the time, it works all the time! If you like someone, go for it, and if they so no, SO WHAT! There are more women out there, believe that.
Sex Panther. They've done studies. 60% of the time it works every time.
Edit: this is just a quote from a movie. This is not intended to be taken seriously
Homegirl 50
Jun 25, 2009, 08:53 AM
I think we need to remember we are talking to a teen (17) about a 15 year old girl.
kctiger
Jun 25, 2009, 08:56 AM
I think we need to remember we are talking to a teen (17) about a 15 year old girl.
My advice still applies, on a smaller scale. There is no substitute for confidence... which, at the very least, will guide him to ask her out, if nothing else.
talaniman
Jun 25, 2009, 08:58 AM
17 is a good age to get over the fear of rejection. Fear will destroy confidence.
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 09:07 AM
Thanks for the answers.. Of course I know there has to be face to face contact, I'm not that foolish ;)
I'm just thinking that - shouldn't be already kind of clear if I'm in the friend zone or not? I want to know because I don't want to approach her in a romantic/sexual way if it's no use. I just want to know where I stand right now with her.
XM8
kctiger
Jun 25, 2009, 09:08 AM
Thanks for the answers.. Of course I know there has to be face to face contact, i'm not that foolish ;)
I'm just thinking that - shouldn't be already kind of clear if I'm in the friend zone or not? I want to know because I don't want to approach her in a romantic/sexual way if it's no use. I just want to know where I stand right now with her.
XM8
Walk up to her and ask her... DONE DEAL!
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 09:09 AM
Yea but how the heck can I dot that - we've never even talked in real life, it would be way too awkward and ruin my chances :-\
kctiger
Jun 25, 2009, 09:13 AM
I would do away with the internet chat and start talking face to face... the internet can be tricky and there is always a danger to things that go on in there... do away with your fear, meet face to face and take it from there. She does know who you are right? I mean, you both know each other?? Correct??
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 09:16 AM
Well I'd like to meet her in person but school is over now, so to do that I have to ask her out for a drink or something, which I already did but she hasn't answered yet..
And yea we know each other pretty well, even though we only talked over the net. However we've seen each other, etc...
Homegirl 50
Jun 25, 2009, 09:42 AM
You can't even go up to her and talk to her, how can being with her in a romantic/sexual way even come in to play.
Call her up and ask her out, if you can't even do that, I'm thinking you are not ready for anything.
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 09:46 AM
Ok well, I guess you're right. I got to have the balls to ask her out (which I already did) and have even more balls to accept rejection, if it comes.
kctiger
Jun 25, 2009, 09:49 AM
Rejection will happen more often than not, believe me. You just need to remember that nothing is make or break when it comes to these situations.
Homegirl 50
Jun 25, 2009, 09:52 AM
Ok well, I guess you're right. I gotta have the balls to ask her out (which I already did) and have even more balls to accept rejection, if it comes.
Well first you need to stop telling yourself she will reject you. If you believe that on the outset it shows in how you approach her.
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 09:55 AM
Yea that's true, I keep telling her about having self confidence and believing in one's self (talking about exams and stuff) - I don't see why I shouldn't believe my own words.
kctiger
Jun 25, 2009, 09:56 AM
XM enough of this! Man up, ask her out, and then post an update! This thread should have been over by now!
You are a good dude and she will be glad to go out for a "drink" with you. Believe it!
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 09:57 AM
Yea lol well I'm just waiting for her answer...
I'll post back once I get one.
Thanks
Romefalls19
Jun 25, 2009, 10:14 AM
Let's wait for the response...
But on a side note, is this what our world has come too? Asking people out over the internet, even when you attend the same school together?
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 10:32 AM
School's over - I want to but I can't help it, can I...
raychi
Jun 25, 2009, 10:35 AM
Couldn't you get your friends to ask her, and then report back to you. Because then you won't feel awkward! But she'll know that you really are thinking about the way she is acting and even if your friends can't find anything out, you will be able to then hopefully get the answer you want on your own
kctiger
Jun 25, 2009, 10:37 AM
couldnt you get your friends to ask her, and then report back to you. because then you wont feel awkward! but she'll know that you really are thinking about the way she is acting and even if your friends can't find anything out, you will be able to then hopefully get the answer you want on your own
Or you could just be a man and do it yourself! What has happened to the new generation of kids. You guys are going to be in serious trouble once college hits.
Justwantfair
Jun 25, 2009, 11:00 AM
Let's wait for the response...
But on a side note, is this what our world has come too? Asking people out over the internet, even when you attend the same school together?
Rome, will you be mine?
I sure think you are nifty.
Maybe a drink the next time you are in town?
Romefalls19
Jun 25, 2009, 11:01 AM
Bahaha. You know you're my girl on the internet Justy ;)
Justwantfair
Jun 25, 2009, 11:01 AM
couldnt you get your friends to ask her, and then report back to you. because then you wont feel awkward! but she'll know that you really are thinking about the way she is acting and even if your friends can't find anything out, you will be able to then hopefully get the answer you want on your own
Kc, can you tell Rome that I like the color of his eyes, please?
XM8
Jun 25, 2009, 02:56 PM
Well I got my answer.. she's telling me her parents are kind of strict at the moment so she's not so sure she can go out because of her exams... pretty reasonable I guess.
That pretty much wraps it up, I suppose. I won't be seeing her until September.. yay...