View Full Version : What can I do to be less emotional/clingy ?
lolwtfdude
Jun 24, 2009, 12:27 PM
Okay well lets see ill give you some background about me and my girlfriend. I am 19 and she is 18. I have depression and an anxiety disorder. I am on an antidepressant for this and sometimes makes me very emotional. I never was this emotional before I was on this stuff and it bothers me that I'm like this. I met her in a very rough time in my life and she has helped me so much to get through some things. We are so similar in the way we think and act. We got EXTREMELY comfortable with each other within a couple weeks of dating. I am almost positive I am in love with her, I've never felt this way towards a girlfriend. Well I know I basically made her my life, I think about her always she is just always on my mind from the time I wake up to when I fall asleep. We see each other almost everyday with each other. She wants to see me as much as I want to see her, when she isn't with me she tells me she misses me and can't wait to see me. I don't hang out with my friends as much anymore well because I was an alcoholic and a drug abuser mainly marijuana and all my friends still abuse substince and I don't want to be around those kinds of things. I can keep myself occupied but right now I am currently laid off because my workplace ( mcdonalds lol at least it's a job right ? ) is closed for rebuilding and I have been out of work for 2 months and it will open back up next month. So I have a lot of time to myself and only hang with my friends on occasion because I don't want to be around the drugs. I have been sober for almost a year. Most of her friends are guys and BARELY sees them anymore because she tells me should would much rather be with me and when she does hang with them ( I think it was like 3 times she did in 4 months ) I get kind of jealous. She does talk to them online on occasion and that sometimes still makes me jealous. I know jealousy is a recipe for disaster and I want this to last. Also when I get emotional or weird we fight and last fight was yesterday but we made up and everything is back to normal. But what can I do about this ? Any suggestions ?
kctiger
Jun 24, 2009, 12:36 PM
I believe, and this is totally just my opinion, the hardest thing to do in a relationship is to realize when you are making a mistake, stop, take a second, relax and then re-act.
You know you have problems, so be aware of them and take it from there. Go volunteer, go join a club... do something, just don't make your problems her problems.
Justwantfair
Jun 24, 2009, 12:41 PM
Depression is not only about taking medication, but if you are still feeling emotionally unbalanced, either you aren't taking your medication routinely (same time daily) or this isn't the right medication for you. There are many anti-depressants out on the market. Improving your own self-worth and self-confidence will help you not only with your depressive states but with your jealousy issues.
Complicating matters is not working currently. Although it is a temporary thing, work increases our value in ourselves and by sitting home without any activities, at first it can be enjoying but after awhile, it can be depressing. Make sure you are filling these times with activities that make you feel like you are contributing to yourself and yourself value. Try running, walking, joining a gym, joining a league, extra housework, taking a class at your community college. Make yourself a goal list of things you can accomplish in this time of lower activities in your life.
This will also help your adult interactions and may help you branch out to meet new people with better pasttimes then drug abuse. It will benefit your relationship because you will no longer be looking to her for all of your adult companionship.
artlady
Jun 24, 2009, 01:07 PM
Depression is not only about taking medication, but if you are still feeling emotionally unbalanced, either you aren't taking your medication routinely (same time daily) or this isn't the right medication for you. There are many anti-depressants out on the market. Improving your own self-worth and self-confidence will help you not only with your depressive states but with your jealousy issues.
Complicating matters is not working currently. Although it is a temporary thing, work increases our value in ourselves and by sitting home without any activities, at first it can be enjoying but after awhile, it can be depressing. Make sure you are filling these times with activities that make you feel like you are contributing to yourself and your self value. Try running, walking, joining a gym, joining a league, extra housework, taking a class at your community college. Make yourself a goal list of things you can accomplish in this time of lower activities in your life.
This will also help your adult interactions and may help you branch out to meet new people with better pasttimes then drug abuse. It will benefit your relationship because you will no longer be looking to her for all of your adult companionship.
Can't rep you Justy but I totally agree.I would also like to mention that the OP should call his doctor and get reassessed regarding the meds. Worsening depression is a red flag and should be reported to the doctor immediately.
In particular with children and teens ,it is often difficult to find the right medication.
Volunteering is also a great option as it takes the focus off your own problems for a time and gives you a great sense of self worth.
liz28
Jun 24, 2009, 02:16 PM
Congratulations on being drug and alcohol free. It is good you no longer hang around the people who do these things and it shows how well you have grown. Keep it up and I am glad you didn't hang out with this crowd especially when your going through what your going through now.
However, I don't think you should give up having friends. You can get out there and met others that aren't into drugs and alcohol. Your girlfriend shouldn't be your only outlet.
Be clingy and jealous aren't healthy but how you deal with it can make things worst.
As a patient you have rights. If you feel the medicine is changing for the worst instead of for the better then speak up. Not only should you talk to your doctor about changing your meds you should do research on the meds before you take them. If the doctor doesn't change your meds then change doctors. Also, are you going through counseling right now?
I think you already have some suggestions on what to do in your spare time but I want to do what do you enjoy doing? Have you ever thought about being part of a group? Sounds silly but if you go here Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com (http://www.meetup.com) you can check out what you can join in your town. It is a great way to meet friends. I am part of the parents want to have fun club and the swing dancing club. In the parents club we met up and have fun(with or without the kids). I met some peoole there and glad we crossed paths. In the swing dancing club we mostly dance and right now we are getting prepare for a dance off. It is fun.
Best of luck and whatever you do stay sober and drug free.
lolwtfdude
Jun 25, 2009, 12:14 AM
Well thank you all for your responses one thing I think that makes me kind of weird and depressed/anxious definitely is the time that I take it, sometimes I forget to take it and I take it like a few hours later or so and I notice the next day or whatever I feel strange. I have set an alarm to make sure I take it everyday at the same time now. I feel really bad for just like dropping some of my best friends but I can't stand being around all the alcohol and drugs. I still see them every once in a while. I should take up some volunteer work but I hated doing community service for school ! Lol as bad as that sounds. Some things I enjoy are working with computers whether it is building them, repairing them, or just computer games. I know that is nerdy but I guess I am just a nerd aha. Not into sports too much even though I have an athletic build, I like to draw and play videogames. I would like to mention that my girlfriend used to smoke weed kind of a lot and drink on the weekends. Since she met me she hasn't smoked weed in probably 2 months and has not drank in a long time either. I don't care too much if she drinks on occasion but not every weekend. Its if she smokes weed that I get upset with. Im almost sure weed is one thing that made me the way I am now and it just upsets me because I don't want her to get like this and I want to stay away from it. But she has stayed clear for a long time. Just something I thought I should mention.