All right... Question 1, does she like me (thats the long one- sorry!) question 2, if she might, how to proceed with an Ex?

Here's the uncensored truth.

I left a girl for 4 years even though I've been crazy about her. Thanks for your advice on the other questions, but they aren't really associated with this one, so don't worry about digging them up.

Finally I decide I'm going to see if it could work out. I was going to take it slow, so I just kind of hung out with her.

She does not give ANY of the signs of "interest" except she kept saying "You know- girls and guys can't be friends unless they both kind of like eachother" (or different similar things) which was the only real "clue"- well that and her asking me to stay over an extra day or two which I couldn't because of work.

Anyway, I'm really worried that I'm on the verge of "spilling the beans" and telling her how crazy I am about her still, but I'm afraid she doesn't reciprocate. We went out drinking a few nights ago though, and since I live a good distance away I stay at her place which happens to also be her moms place- she moved in when she lost her job until she gets a new one...

Anyway, I've stayed there before and she has me sleep in her bed while she sleeps on the couch. Normally not a big deal, but this night we went out drinking, had a good time, stayed up until 7 am talking and watching TV, and we laid there. I started rubbing my fingers through her hair and leaned in for a kiss (she was resting her head on my shoulder) and she kissed me back. A few minutes later she pulled away and said "we should be going to bed". She brought me to the room and got her blanket and stuff to go sleep on the couch but sat next to me to help me find a TV show to watch, and 10 minutes later to save on the graphic nature of the situation, lets just say we did not have sex but we were just about as close to that as possible. She stopped me from sex but continued to make out and do other stuff for a bit before she just kind of "shut down". She still laid there with me for a bit, but then said she had to go because she was afraid she'd fall asleep in there and her mom would come out and notice, so she went back to the couch to sleep.

Next morning we both get up and watch TV and stuff for a while, and I took her out to dinner before I left. (well I drove but we each paid separately because she doesn't want me paying for her stuff... in fact she keeps trying to buy me drinks/food, even though I try to at least pay for mine since she's unemployed and I'm doing just fine... but all the same- at least she's not using me for the $$$ that's clear... )

When I came to drop her off, she sat in the car for a minute and looked at me before getting out like she was waiting for something. I said "Give me a hug" and she hugged me and then we kissed briefely. She got out and told me I really should stay another night, but hopefully I'd be back soon.

That night we talked for about 3 hours online once I got home- however, the next night she talked for about 20 minutes and then "left to get food".

Does that sound like she likes me and just isn't 100% comfortable/is afraid of getting hurt again? Or is it that she doesn't like me, but is just doing whatever because "why not?"?

I'm hoping this is a situation of it being "clear" if your "outside" of the situation... haha. And I think because I'm nervous I'm reading too much into everything...



Thanks for the help ladies and gents!!



Secondly, if there is a chance she likes me, how do you pace yourself/work on it? Neither of us have been in a relationship with an Ex, and its not like the people who break up for 2 days and then get back together- it's been 4 years... with a crappy marriage for one and 4 crappy significant others and a lot of hookups for the other (gotta loved messed up lives)... however, like hope open/ upfront / blunt can you be? We both know pretty much everything about each other as far as the "facts" of the past, but How much should you limit your kissing and sexual contact (besides the fact that I'm going to try (key word because I didn't do a good job of that the other day... ) to hold off until I can ask her to get tested for actual sex) ?

We've both still been interested in each other (atleast somewhat) for those years (broke up from stupid outside influences mainly) so kept very loose contact, but I know people change a LOT over 4 years, so want to make sure we don't neglect really understanding and getting to know each other for who we are and not who we were.

Listen, you need to discuss your feelings with her because nobody knows how she feels or what she is thinking.

However, she does sound a little conflicted with her feelings or she does what to face them yet--she might be afraid.

Or maybe she doesn't want anything serious right now but she is just enjoying the time that the two of you share.

Now if the two you decide to be together then the two of you need to have an open talk about what the two of you want from each other. Express your fears! Reflect on why the relationship didn't work the first time around and what are the two of you going do to make it work this time around. Just talk, talk, talk!

Again, you need to ask her because this is the only way your going know sure. However, all signs point towards yes.