Hey everyone, thank you for taking the time to read my question.. here goes...

I was in a relationship for a year with someone very insecure, jealouse, possessive, controlling with a bad temper and slightly manipulative... it was an up and down relationship we'd get into arguments all the time each week there was something... he was angry about my past relationships and he'd make me feel bad all the time by bringing up my past or saying I've said things I don't even remember saying... he also had a major drug and alcohol problem he was worst and more ''abusive'' when he was in that state... I had lost over 15 pounds I had trouble sleeping, I felt stressed all the time and it was plain horrible... yes we had a short good moments but his behavior screwed everything up... well I had the guts to leave him.. I had tried to break up with him 5 times the last few months and he kept convincing me to stay and that he'd change... he was changing a bit but the jealousy and the insecurities wouldn't go away till I got fed up and left him... he begged me not to.. I told him I didn't love him anymore and he begged me to stay with him because he loves me and he can't be without me... well the begging lasted an hour and he got fed up.. saw it wasn't working and that was that... he said he wants to be close to me still because he loves me a lot and wants to stay friends and to call me every 2 weeks to check up on me. I didn't feel too comfortable with that as I don't think I can be friends wit hhim.. and I don't know how to tell him in a way that he wotn freak out. That and he sent me an email 2 days ago.. saying how he misses me and how he understood it was over but was upset that I was cold with him and didn't want to speak to him anymore nor have him call me or email me and that he felt I had played him like a piece of chess... and askedme if I had thrown out all the pictures I had of him... the piece of chess comment really made me angry... and I think the whole emial was a guilt trip on how he's alone and he has no one anymore and that he keeps crying and hoping I'd warm up to him and be friends with him still. I have no idea how to deal with him advice would be appreciated I'm sucha mess right now I don't know what to do with that email...

Let him know that you just don't want to be friends with him any longer. It sounds as if you don't want any contact with him whatsoever. You need to let him know this. You two had a past together, but it's your right to decide if you want him in your present and future. If you don't, tell him so.

Make it clear to him that it's over and that you don't want anything more to do with him. Sometimes there is no nice way of putting things. He obviously had/has negative impact on your life, so let him know that you don't need him affecting your life that way anymore. He might think and feel that he can do better, but you need to let him know you don't want to give him the chance. Tell him to move on and leave you alone.

If he calls, just say ( your first words) I don't want to talk any more, and hang up,

Block his phone number, block his email, if he keeps bothing you get a restraining order

So what if he freaks out?? That is what happens when people breaks ups

"i'm sucha mess right now i dont know what to do with that email ..."-Delete it.

Stop letting him conrtol you by putting your foot down and tell him to leave you alone. If he persists call the cops and make a report.

You keep falling for his trap. Keep your chin up, be strong and don't let him control you, because he knows he can that's why he is doing this.

Delete the e-mails and don't answer the phone. In time he will get the point.

I wouldn't even bother talking to him and telling him to leave you alone, he will try and manipulate further.

It is your turn to manipulate. Just ignore phone calls and e-mails.

Disappear from his life and make him disappear from yours. Change your phone number, your e-mail address and your screen name. If he contacts you, don't answer and don't respond. He's no good for you and yes, all of his begging and pleading is just a big guilt trip, something that jilted partners are very good at. Trust me, it's a universal phenomenon. Don't be taken in by it.

If he treats you like crap and says he loves you - explain to him that if he loved you he wouldn't make you feel as much pain as you do.