Here goes, thanks for not skewering me too bad I know I should have known better.

A few months ago I met a pretty young girl (22) I am older (45) we went on a few modest non sexual dates and on our 4th date had sex for ten minutes. Not to be gross but I don't have much sperm now and pulled out early and we had intercourse once. I know that is enough to conceive but let me explain.

Nice girl but has some red flags. Im certainly no saint so not judging here just in a situation where I need clear thinking and advice. During dating I saw some red flags one of which is she has a lot of men contacts and I believe is initmate with at least a few. She has 3 kids, lost her job and is a nice person but she uses the sytems and would talk about it like its expected and normal. I know, should have added all that up before we played.

After our intimate date I set one more date and only a few hours after setting the date arrived at her apartment to find her intoxicated and decided best to stop the relation. I have an average income and modest home and she is from a lower income environment. Opposites attracted for sure but she also at one point was headed the right direction in life so I guess I thought she had potential but her environment is too influential and is keeping her down.

2 days ago I got a garbled unidentifiable message on my phone. Yesterday she called to say she was pregnant and thought I was the father. She is apparently due jan 5th and says she is 11 weeks along. It is now June 19th so you have some dates to help assemble the story.

If I am the father, a precious life is a miracle but this is not a good situation I am actaully broke right now with back taxes and biz off by 50%, I will find a way to support at least minimally. This is complicated but I guess these situations always are and despite our major differences in socio economic lifestyle and way of thinking we may have a child.

However, My belief is I am not the father. Please don't take me as a callous person, I just feel very suspicious about this.

If I am the father, that is going to be very difficult but it is not the child's fault and who knows could be a wonderful thing but man this is a horrendous disadvantaged time for me to bring a child into the world as that child would need more help than I can give living in her home how she lives. Anyway, when do my obligations begin financially? I am in the worst financial position of my life so am admittidedly reacting with self preservation.

If I am not the father, besides taking a DNA test I can buy from a local pharmacy, how and when does this get used to prove if I am or am not the father? Is she able to expedite or manipulate any paperwork or other naming me as a father to earn my responsibility even if I am not the biological father. This sounds terrible but how do I make sure I am not getting trapped into a scam?

Thank you for your understanding, I have no one to talk to about this.

K

As soon as the child is born, the mother can file for Support, you can request a DNA test. There will be a child custody hearing and you can request visitation.

In GA for example you would pay @ 15 percent of your Gross pay if you work for a company,

So if you make 2000 a month gross you will pay about 300 a month plus may have to supply health insurance and part of the day care costs.

Your state may require more or less support

This is a legal question not a helath question so its been moved to the proper forum.

First it matters what state you are in. The laws vary. She may be able to list you on the birth certificate without your acceptance. So you will need to monitor that situation.

But if she wants child support from you, she will need to file for it in a local Family Court. You will then have the opportunioty to request a paternity test be done. You cannot use a home DNA test unless she agrees to give you some of the baby's DNA. Even if she does, the home test will only be an indication, it will NOT be admissible in court. The Court will order an official test done. Maybe at their expense, maybe at yours.

Once the paternity test results come back, you will be the legal father or you won't. If you aren't you walk away from the situation. If you are, then you will be held responsible for child support.

Your financial obligations don't begin until the birth of the child. So, if you don't think it is yours then don't give her any money or pay any of her bills until the child is born and the judge orders a DNA test and that test comes back positive that you are the father. I would advise however, to start setting aside some money (even though times are tough) just in case you are the father that way you won't be in arrears as soon as the test comes back.

A DNA test from a Pharmacy will not be admitted in court

Your financial obligations don't begin until the birth of the child. So, if you don't think it is yours then don't give her any money or pay any of her bills until the child is born and the judge orders a DNA test and that test comes back positive that you are the father. I would advise however, to start setting asside some money (even though times are tough) just in case you are the father that way you won't be in arrears as soon as the test comes back.

That can vary by state also as far as responsibility goes.. sometimes it can be ruled that part of the co-pays for bringing the child into the world are the direct responibility of the father. So need to be careful with making this statement. Child support will start when it is filed for but not before.

That can vary by state also as far as responsibility goes .. sometimes it can be ruled that part of the co-pays for bringing the child into the world are the direct responibility of the father. So need to be careful with making this statement. Child support will start when it is filed for but not before.

This is true but it is hard to force someone to pay their share of the co-pays if they aren't even sure they are the parent. Which is part of why I added to save up a little money here and there as op can just in case. Not all states require the co-pays to come from the father and in the cases that I've seen the eleged father has not been able to recover his money spent on co-pays after proven not to be the father. Again I'm not saying that if the co-pays were paid that it absolutely wouldn't be able to be recovered but I haven't seen it happen yet.

If you feel this is a scam, then possibly it is a scam on her part. Wait until the child is born and have a court ordered DNA test to determine your paternity. Right now, it's basically her word that she is pregnant and probably wants money from you now and not later.