Hey folks, I know you might think I am silly to ask this question. But I have been told that no question is a stupid question.

I am going through a time when I am confused between "love" and "relationship of convenience". Could you all please define "love" for me and distinguish between two above said terms?

Relationship of convenience: settling for the sake of having something.

Love: when your heart is just emotionally invested as your head, or even more.

Perhaps that is a stupid definition, but I don't want to get all philosophical on you!

Love - Willing to work together through good times and bad.

Relationship of convenience - Nothing to do with love but closer to an arrangement for mutual benefit.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/financial-reason-365972.html

I suspect your questioning your relationship here, but be aware it's a red flag to pay attention to when you have a partner who is so loose with her finances and would just give a guy 50k, without a promissory note or contract. Not the smartest move in the world. Get the girl a lawyer, so at least she can get the correct advice.

I really felt like putting "Baby don't hurt me" but I'll resist.

Love is giving yourself completely to another, giving them your heart with enough trust that they will care for it as if it were their own.

Robert A Heinlein defined love better than anyone else I've ever heard. I put his definition at the bottom of every post.

I don't think her sleeping with somebody to get money back fits under Happiness or Welfare.

Love is a strong emotional attachment to someone who is perceived of very high value, based on spending positive rewarding time, interest and experiences together.

Anything else is making do. And you would rather be somewhere else or with someone else.

Love - Willing to work together thru good times and bad.

Relationship of convenience - Nothing to do with love but closer to an arrangement for mutual benefit.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/financial-reason-365972.html

I suspect your questioning your relationship here, but be aware its a red flag to pay attention to when you have a partner who is so loose with her finances and would just give a guy 50k, without a promissory note or contract. Not the smartest move in the world. Get the girl a lawyer, so at least she can get the correct advice.

I was also told the same thing by one of my relatives that nobody would throw $50K without any document or contract to a stranger unless that stranger is well in the life of the giver. I heard that but it did not bother me because everyone has a past.

I had consulted a lawyer but without any document it is hard to prove anything. Secondly, even if the person is pulled in the court, he can say that she was his girlfriend and she only gave him the money as a gift or support to start a business.

If I go for other means, then it would be big mess and the whole matter could change into a criminal case.

I really felt like putting "Baby don't hurt me" but I'll resist.

Love is giving yourself completely to another, giving them your heart with enough trust that they will care for it as if it were their own.

Thanks. But what would you do when other person does no like the way you love him/her? How would you make that person understand. Would the person not wear out eventually if it is one sided love?

Robert A Heinlein defined love better than anyone else I've ever heard. I put his definition at the bottom of every post.

I don't think her sleeping with somebody to get money back fits under Happiness or Welfare.

I totally agree. I know she is pretty tight due to this loss, but she does not understand that dark clouds never last for a longtime in the sky. That mf is so cunning he would use her and still not give her a penny. Pray that she understands this and forget it and move on in life.

I'd like to quote the bible and say:

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

As you can see it says nothing about : Love is butterflies in your stomach, love is living and breathing the person. Love is often confused with emotions and feelings when in reality it is a decision you make. You decide to love someone for who they are despite their faults. The emotion is just infatuation [that fades quickly], but love is actually a lesson that is re-learned after every obstacle.

As for "relationship of convenience", it's simply when someone makes a poor choice to be with someone whether it be because of low self-esteem, financial reasons, peer pressure, etc. It's not that the person truly wants to be in the relationship it is just that "it's good for right now".


Just my opinion.

Sarah

I'd like to quote the bible and say:

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

As you can see it says nothing about : Love is butterflies in your stomach, love is living and breathing the person. Love is often confused with emotions and feelings when in reality it is a decision you make. You decide to love someone for who they are despite their faults. The emotion is just infatuation [that fades quickly], but love is actually a lesson that is re-learned after every obstacle.

As for "relationship of convenience", it's simply when someone makes a poor choice to be with someone whether it be because of low self-esteem, financial reasons, peer pressure, etc. It's not that the person truly wants to be in the relationship it is just that "it's good for right now".


Just my opinion.

Sarah

Sarah, thanks for these beautiful lines.

Just wondering when you love someone should you not try to fix broken leg of the person so that he can walk painlessly?

Sarah, thanks for these beautiful lines.

Just wondering when you love someone should you not try to fix broken leg of the person so that he can walk painlessly?

I assume this is an analogy correct?

1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.sexual passion or desire.
4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6.a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7.sexual intercourse; copulation.
8.(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9.affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10.strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11.the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12.the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13.Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14.a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

Just wondering when you love someone should you not try to fix broken leg of the person so that he can walk painlessly?That works great if you're a doctor, and he wants you to fix him. You may just have to HELP him, by taking him to a doctor.

Using your analogy, when his leg is fixed, he doesn't need a doctor any more.

I assume this is an analogy correct?

For sure. This is an analogy and it had come from her .

Dontcha hate being fixed? Do you feel you need fixing??

1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.sexual passion or desire.
4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6.a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7.sexual intercourse; copulation.
8.(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9.affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10.strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11.the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12.the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13.Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14.a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

Wonderful list, thanks.

I have heard people saying that they have/had great sexual relationship but they are/were not in love with their partner. They are/were living with their partners and relationship is/was great but the love is/was missing. Then where is love? Why is/did love not kick in?

Sex is sex. You do NOT have to love someone to have great sex with them. Love is more about emotional feelings than physical feelings.

Love is when you are obsessed with one person, think about them all the time and can do anything for them. You worry about them.There is no true explanation for love because it causes different feelings in many people.

Love is when you are obsessed with one person, think about them all the time and can do anything for them. You worry about them.There is no true explanation for love because it causes different feelings in many people.

Thanks Alyeska

That works great if your a doctor, and he wants you to fix him. You may just have to HELP him, by taking him to a doctor.

Using your analogy, when his leg is fixed, he doesn't need a doctor any more.

Yeah, that's right. Doctor is no more required once problem is solved. I guess I should not be the doctor. HAaa... haaa... lol..

Just wondering when you love someone should you not try to fix broken leg of the person so that he can walk painlessly?

You can't fix someone, they have to fix themselves. Even if you are able to fix them wouldn't you think that you've taken away a chance for them to learn an important life lesson- after all you've done all the work for them. If a person wants to change, whether it'd be an addiction, a personal trait, etc-- they should be the ones that fight through it, and in this time they are in now way shape or form able to have a healthy and functioning relationship. If they cannot manage handling their own lives what makes you think that they can manage another person?

There is nurturing and then there is walking down a dead end street.



I have heard people saying that they have/had great sexual relationship but they are/were not in love with their partner.
Sometimes adults make decisions to become physical with someone and avoid the relationship part. This is can also be called "casual sex". Once both parties have established a rule of "sex only" it is possible to keep the relationship part out, either that or they both understand that a relationship with each other wouldn't "work out". This is often very tricky, it usually leaves somebody hurt, this is why this type of "relationship" should be left for adults.


They are/were living with their partners and relationship is/was great but the love is/was missing. Then where is love? Why is/did love not kick in?

The beginning of a relationship starts with many feelings, it's euphoric. You see past their many faults, sometimes you don't even see them, and you even find some of their bad habits cute [i.e. biting their nails, blowing their nose on their shirt, their loud laugh, their snoring etc].

Once this stage has passed, it is often when couples start to scratch their heads and say "hey how come I don't feel in love with you?". Some split and some stay. When the infatuation stage has passed this is when a couple is really tested as a couple and you get into the "real" love part. There is no more mushy mushy I love the way you breathe at night-- you start to see the person as a person, flaws and all.

If you successfully accept the person for who they are, make a few compromises here and there you now can say you love the person.

Love isn't easy.. but infatuation is.


Alyeska: Love is when you are obsessed with one person, think about them all the time and can do anything for them. You worry about them.There is no true explanation for love because it causes different feelings in many people.

I'd have to disagree with you. Love is by far an obsession. An obsession tends to lead to many negatives, it can even ruin your life. As I also covered, love is not feelings. If love were feelings I'm sure the divorce rate would be at 96% and not 51%. I don't mean to sound rude but Alyeska seems to think like a young teen. It's understandable that her thoughts about love would be like this since she has not lived through enough life lessons to teach her a few more things.

Just my opinion...

Sarah

The beginning of a relationship starts out with many feelings, it's euphoric. You see past their many faults, sometimes you don't even see them, and you even find some of their bad habits cute [i.e. biting their nails, blowing their nose on their shirt, their loud laugh, their snoring etc].

Once this stage has passed, it is often when couples start to scratch their heads and say "hey how come I don't feel in love with you?". Some split and some stay. When the infatuation stage has passed this is when a couple is really tested as a couple and you get into the "real" love part. There is no more mushy mushy I love the way you breathe at night-- you start to see the person as a person, flaws and all.

If you successfully accept the person for who they are, make a few compromises here and there you now can say you love the person.

Love isn't easy.. but infatuation is.

Very well said. "In Love" being the infatuation/honeymoon stage and "True love" being the build a life stage.

Love is always being there.
Love is always greeting you with happiness.
Love is always wanting to play, but just sitting with you if you upset.
Love is knowing they'd defend at a moments notice.
Love is never saying a negative thing about you.
Love is seeing the good in everything you do.

This is why I love my girl like no other, and if you met her I'd bet you'd feel the same way about my dog.