JacindaHope
Jun 16, 2009, 12:05 AM
Hi :)
This is my first post on this site and I hope to answer questions in the future.
I am glad I found it.
SO LET ME GET TO MY QUESTION...
I have been married for 4 years and it has been MORE downs than ups.
I have left the military because of my husbands addiction to hard drugs, weened him off the drugs which took over a year, paid for some of his tickets, and supported him the majority of our marriage.
We have been physical, I went into the military with a black eye.
We have been verbally abusive and hurtful.
I say we because I don't want to pass all the blame. I get angry at things I have to go through because of his lack of concern for life or financial stability and it becomes a yell fest.
Over the last month I have lost my will to make this marriage work. Now he is drug free and finally been working for over a year. I thought I would be happy when all of this finally happened but I am not. I just feel love for him as a friend.
Last week was the last straw! He got drunk and into a fight. A bottle was broken over his head and we had to find a new apartment within a week. We spent two nights in a hotel and I missed a day of work and found this apartment. He never drinks but that is not the point.
Bad things tend to follow him endlessly!!
Now he is acting like everything is OK. It is SO NOT! I just spent the last two months listening to him tell me he doesn't love me anymore and he does not know if he loves me still. Yet he says he wants to work on our marriage.
I told him that I was sick of our relationship. I feel it is just a long downward spiral. And now he is trying to tell me he loves me again. It seems that when I was finally OK with ending the marriage he is trying to keep me with him.
I want to leave him everyday but I feel like I am leaving him 5000 miles away from his family and having to do it all on his own. He is NOT good at paying bills.
ON TOP OF THAT.. I have recently received a phone call from an ex boyfriend of ten years ago. We went out for five years without ever breaking up. We were best friends. It was the best relationship of my life. Now he wants me to move back to his state and live with him. He makes 80 grand a year and is promising me everything I ever wanted. But most of all the thought of having that great of a relationship again is the most I could ever want. I have always secretly wanted every relationship since then to be like that one.
THIS JULY WILL BE TEN YEARS TO THE DATE OF OUR BREAKUP!
I just don't want my life to be a living hell.
SHOULD I LEAVE MY HUSBAND??
SHOULD I GIVE MY FIRST LOVE ANOTHER CHANCE IF I LEAVE MY HUSBAND??
I HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION AND I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TELL MY HUSBAND!!
HELP!!
This is my first post on this site and I hope to answer questions in the future.
I am glad I found it.
SO LET ME GET TO MY QUESTION...
I have been married for 4 years and it has been MORE downs than ups.
I have left the military because of my husbands addiction to hard drugs, weened him off the drugs which took over a year, paid for some of his tickets, and supported him the majority of our marriage.
We have been physical, I went into the military with a black eye.
We have been verbally abusive and hurtful.
I say we because I don't want to pass all the blame. I get angry at things I have to go through because of his lack of concern for life or financial stability and it becomes a yell fest.
Over the last month I have lost my will to make this marriage work. Now he is drug free and finally been working for over a year. I thought I would be happy when all of this finally happened but I am not. I just feel love for him as a friend.
Last week was the last straw! He got drunk and into a fight. A bottle was broken over his head and we had to find a new apartment within a week. We spent two nights in a hotel and I missed a day of work and found this apartment. He never drinks but that is not the point.
Bad things tend to follow him endlessly!!
Now he is acting like everything is OK. It is SO NOT! I just spent the last two months listening to him tell me he doesn't love me anymore and he does not know if he loves me still. Yet he says he wants to work on our marriage.
I told him that I was sick of our relationship. I feel it is just a long downward spiral. And now he is trying to tell me he loves me again. It seems that when I was finally OK with ending the marriage he is trying to keep me with him.
I want to leave him everyday but I feel like I am leaving him 5000 miles away from his family and having to do it all on his own. He is NOT good at paying bills.
ON TOP OF THAT.. I have recently received a phone call from an ex boyfriend of ten years ago. We went out for five years without ever breaking up. We were best friends. It was the best relationship of my life. Now he wants me to move back to his state and live with him. He makes 80 grand a year and is promising me everything I ever wanted. But most of all the thought of having that great of a relationship again is the most I could ever want. I have always secretly wanted every relationship since then to be like that one.
THIS JULY WILL BE TEN YEARS TO THE DATE OF OUR BREAKUP!
I just don't want my life to be a living hell.
SHOULD I LEAVE MY HUSBAND??
SHOULD I GIVE MY FIRST LOVE ANOTHER CHANCE IF I LEAVE MY HUSBAND??
I HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION AND I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TELL MY HUSBAND!!
HELP!!