My ex-husband and I live in the state of Pennsylvania. We have what I would call a standard joint physical and legal custodial order. We both have every other week. We have no child support, although he was ordered to cover both her medical insurance and her child care.

We begin our custody on Fridays; she goes to daycare on Friday and either he or I will pick her up. During the academic year, I pick her up directly from school at 3:30 p.m. the dismissal time.

I recently told him that I wish to pick her up at noon and he told me that "I wasn't allowed" to pick her up until the daycare closes at 6:00. Our custody agreement does not specify a time on Friday that our custodial period begins. He stated that "it was in her best interest to spend time with her friends and not you" and that he was infuriated because "I was wasting his money paying for a full day of daycare when she'll only be there for a half day."

Our custody agreement a stipulation that if one parent can not care for the child during his or her custody period, the other parent has the right of first refusal. I believe that this would fall under it, as he is in work and can't take care of her during the period between 12:00 and 6:00 anyway.

Personally, I don't think this is a big deal at all and I don't think a judge would even consider it. Will I get in trouble for picking her up?

This is not a legal opinion but I would imagine that spending time with the parent would trump getting his "money's worth" for daycare.

This is not a legal opinion but I would imagine that spending time with the parent would trump getting his "money's worth" for daycare.

While not a legal opinion, its still legally correct. Unless the custody agreement states a specific time you are to pick her up/custody changes hands, there is nothing wrong with picking her up early. If he doesn't like it, he can ask for a refund from daycare.

I would imagine since you said your child is in school throughout the school year, is your child currently in attendance at a day camp... not a day care? Is your child there throughout the entire week?

While legally you maybe 'entitled' to pick up your child at noon, have you considered what activities your child is missing on Friday afternoon? The day camp here in Illinois that my children attend often goes swimming every Friday that is an activity that my children greatly look forward to, then there is a wind down period around 4 p.m. Maybe there is a compromise available to be considered, like maintaining the 3:30 p.m. pick up time if your child will be missing a favorite activity.

Although legally you have the right to pick up your child on your day, if it is not specific to time.

I would imagine since you said your child is in school throughout the school year, is your child currently in attendance at a day camp... not a day care? Is your child there throughout the entire week?

She goes to daycare every other week while she is with her father (Monday through Friday) during the summer. It is a state-licensed daycare facility that she has been with for four years now. They also run the latchkey program at the school, which is an after-school program (held at the school) from 3:30 to 6:00 for parents who can not pick up their children by school dismissal and she goes there also every other week while with her father. I do not use a daycare at all, as I am home. (If you are wondering, I did offer to watch her entirely so he wouldn't have to pay for daycare at all, but he refused, which is the reason he has to pay for it.)


While legally you maybe 'entitled' to pick up your child at noon, have you considered what activities your child is missing on Friday afternoon? The day camp here in Illinois that my children attend often goes swimming every Friday that is an activity that my children greatly look forward to, then there is a wind down period around 4 p.m. Maybe there is a compromise available to be considered.

I did actually consider this and I called the daycare to ask what if she will be missing anything "special." They have swimming everyday from noon until 2:00. I asked her if she would like to attend this and her response was that she would rather see her stepsisters, whom she is very close to, and go swimming with us (we belong to a pool and once I pick her up, we all go there... this is a tradition from the past two years).

I'm not sure if this is relevant at all... but our child support just recently changed (because I was successful in turning it). This is only an issue this year. The past two years since she's been in elementary school, I've always picked her up on Friday at noon, with absolutely no objection. But in the past, I was the one paying for it.

Kudos to you to being an active and thoughtful parent, especially for giving your child the choice and voice to help with the decision.

As I imagine from your responses, you have spent your share of time in court. Good luck to you.

I meant to say that during the summer, in the past, I've always picked her up at noon on Friday. I pick her up at normal dismissal time during the school year.