It's hard, where do I start?
Around 4 months ago I met this guy, an amazing guy. Not just some beautiful, charming guy, but the type of guy who's funny and kind hearted, the guy who instantly I clicked with, The type of guy who's rare to find. I'm only in High school and too find someone who not at all interested in looks but more about the inner-beauty of a girl, someone who knows that your human and your not perfect yet accepts you for that and loves your embarrassing little flaws.
Sadly, it was him. I just couldn't understand how much we had in common, about everything about our views on the world about our beliefs and wants. The more I came to know about him the more I felt like I was getting sucked in.
We went out on outings together, but I wouldn't call them dates, even if it were just the two of us. Its moments like them that I had on our little outings together that I knew I would never forget no matter how much time would pass, It would outrule every other memory I had and his ones would be as fresh as if it had just happened. The outings we went to weren't the little lame high school flirty movie dates, it was an actual heart melting conversation between two people. The more I saw him and got closer to him. The more I felt depressed. Because.. he has a girlfriend.
I stayed away for quite a period from him which hurt, but how unfair am I being to his girlfriend, I'm like the other girl, the second option.
And now, Those memories I've had with him is almost the most important thing to me. But spending time with him heals all the wounds, until there opened again when I yet remember again.. he's taken. What I'm feeling right now is quite painful, because somebody else feels the same love I feel for him, and yet.. he only returns that feeling for her. And not me.
Even though there have been moments between us that have been crossing the boundaries, I don't have the strength to stop it.
He has admitted he has had feelings for me. And when I'm with him its those moments as if he doesn't have a girlfriend. I don't want to break our friendship but Im not strong enough too keep it as friends..


I need some encouraging words and helpful advice.
Thank you.

If he felt as strongly for you as his girl friend, he'd leave her. He is playing both of you... he has her, and he has you on the side. I suggest you stay away from him, because this will never get better.

Play the tape ahead, a bit... suppose he does have the balls to break up with his girl friend and gets together with you. Suppose he has some amazing "friend" on the side that he has heart-melting conversations with and makes out with? How would you feel about that girl? How does it make him look?

The guy is a cheater, and you are the other woman, bottom line. If the guy was really so wonderful, he wouldn't be doing this- it's unfair to his girlfriend and to you.

I agree completely. He's bad news... no matter how "perfect" he seems. Trust me, I've dated that guy before. Left his girl, went with me, then there's another "close" female friend... then he's leaving me for her... if he does it once, he'll do it again. So, do you really want him to leave her for you?

I agree to a point with both responses. Except I have been in a similar situation not to long ago. I am with that guy && neither of us have ever been happier. In my situation, I realized it was best to tell him that you are there for him as a friend && nothing more. The decision is his to make. If you feel like you can trust him, then if you two have the chance to be together, go for it. If you think a little ways down the road you could be in the same situation his girlfriend at the moment is in, look elsewhere. You have to think with your head && your heart. I know how painful it can be to be in this situation && how much it seems your head is getting toyed with. I stepped back from my guy && told him to deal with his situation on his own && to call me when he figured out his life. I went out on a whim to be with him && I couldn't be happier I did. I know it's a rare to be able to trust a guy after all that, but I did. I'm not telling you this may be the right thing for you to do, but I would highly recommend stepping back && letting him figure out his life. He was with her first, && you have to give their relationship the benefit of the doubt. Do not completely cut yourself off from chances with other guys just because you like him, maybe he isn't your Mr. Perfect. But if he is time will tell.

Your such a great romantic writer, very expressive, but if your not having sex, your just friends, so drop the guilt stuff, and deal with the reality of your feelings.

You may want more from him, but he ain't going to give it, because he already has what he wants from you, and will take more if you let him.

Not to be harsh, but your showing the same lack of self-control, and using the same excuses, that allows a man to justify cheating on his wife with you.

Examine that acceptance of that mistress mentality, so you don't HAVE to get sucked into something that can hurt you in the long run, or make you dependent on any one but yourself.

Just because it feels good doesn't mean its good for you.

I've been in this same situation only I was the girlfriend and not just the friend. Leave him alone! If he wants you, he will leave her for you. But if he doesn't maybe all he wanted in you in the first place is just a friend. Thankfully and I do mean thankfully, I am still with my man even after his "friend" and we are planning to get married and already have a beautiful 8 month old daughter. So if you are the other girl messing in a relationship, just stop. Time will show who he truly wants to be with and if its not you, you have wasted your time on something that you knew would probably never happen. You have one life to live, go find a single guy who is just as wonderful.

My one rule about relationships: If a man/woman is involved, boyfriend/girlfriend, married, or spoken for, he/she is not available. Ever. Period.

He is in a relationship; by admitting that he has feelings for you, he is emotionally cheating on his girlfriend. If he truly had strong feelings for you (and was a man), he would admit these feelings to his girlfriend and sever the relationship. That is the manly thing to do - to own up to your feelings and take action, accepting the consequences.

You are a fling on the side.

He is taken. Therefore, he is not available.

I would recommend cutting ties with this man. You are not in a place emotionally where you can draw a line between friendship and relationship. He is using you. He is abusing your emotions by sustaining a "friendship" with you, even after he knows how you feel/how he feels.

He's not ready to make a commitment to you - obviously, or he would have broken up with his girlfriend.

Don't you want to be the frosting and the cake? You deserve to be both... and the yummy sprinkles on top! You're worth more than some man's occasional friendship.