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biocazman
Jun 14, 2009, 11:25 AM
Hey there everyone. Some advice if you have any would be helpful.

I'm 20 but was 19 when we split my ex is 18.

We had a big argument on the 29th April and then things were a little strange after that.
Then on the 3rd of may I spoke before I could think and said I thought we needed to break up but I regretted it from the second I said it.

I've been trying since we broke up to get her back... For the first few weeks I was doing all the stuff that you shouldn't do and then when I found out that what I was doing was the wrong thing I stopped.

We were together for just over 14 months and it was a loving relationship. We knew each other at school and liked each other when we were at school but didn't do anything about our feelings until we had both left school. We loved each other like crazy but we did fall out now and again.

She has said that she still has slight feelings for me but not a lot.
We still see each other now and again and spend time together now and again just as friends... Having a chat and a joke.

Since we broke up she has been giving me mixed messages saying one day that we will maybe get back together and the next saying that its never going to happen again...


We hurt each other at times during the relationship but she said that her being hurt is one of the things that would make her less likely to try again.

After we broke up she started going clubbing twice or 3 times a week and she has kissed 5 guys (nothing I can do about that) But she is seeing 2 guys... One of them really likes her and turned down a really good job because it would mean moving away and he doesn't want to leave her... She has been spending a lot of time with him.

We are getting on better now that we have done since we broke up and I still have all the love I've ever had for her and we have a quite good friendship.

On Friday just past however she said something a couple of times which gave me some hope... She said that she can't see into the future and that we may get back together some day. She said that she can't say we will NEVER try again...

The main things I'm wanting to ask are 1) does she really mean it when she says that she can't say its never going to happen again?
And 2) If she does get with a guy... is there still hope for me in the future? Should I be there to pick up the pieces if/when it fails?

I should also say that I was her first serious boyfriend and her first love.
She was my first real love but not my first girlfriend.

Thanks.

mudweiser
Jun 14, 2009, 12:12 PM
1) does she really mean it when she says that she can't say its never going to happen again?

By her dating other guys, getting serious with another-- well I say she really means it when she says it won't happen again. Besides she is 18. She doesn't even have her head on straight- going clubbing after a breakup and making out with random men is a sign of that!



2) If she does get with a guy... is there still hope for me in the future? Should I be there to pick up the pieces if/when it fails?

She is with a guy; two actually [that you know of], and the one seems to be getting serious, he did turn down a job "for her". The fact that you've already decided destined her future relationships to fail really makes me question your love for her. If you love someone you let them go, even if it means they are happy with someone else.

Since you were her first boyfriend I really doubt the fact that she was your "real" love. So many people on this forum could swear up and down that they're first mate was their true love until they woke up and saw that it was just another passing stage in life.

It's time to buck-up. It's over and that is that.

Sarah

sweet1028
Jun 20, 2009, 12:28 PM
Sarah's right. If you truly love her let her go, if she loves you back she'll come back and you will know. But standing around ready to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship that she has in the future is pointless. You need to move on with you life as well. Don't spend your life waiting on her to fall back into your arms, life is too short, make it what you can before it's too late.

knowsher
Feb 4, 2010, 01:37 PM
Hmmm
So she's not seeing two guys, she has one very lovely guy. He loves her and she loves him. He is wonderful and actually attempts to get on with people, he's not jelous and lets her go out whenever she wants in whatever she wants!
She never knew what a club was until she broke up with you, so don't even attempt to make her out to be a slut.
She is a something girl and you were a nothing boy!!
Get over her and stop spreading rubbish ;)

She didn't know what love was with you, sorry to break that to you its soooo true (:

She is an amazing girl and now has a life... get over the fact you don't O.o



Callum Stuart... I love you ;)
go get some pizzahut ;)
Xoxo

jaime90
Feb 5, 2010, 12:26 PM
She has moved on, there is no chance of it happening again. You need to get out of her life. Being there to "pick up the pieces" is VERY manipulative.
You say that you love her, yet you broke up with her? Why should she believe you? Love is NOT romantic feelings. It is commitment, respect, willingness to die for someone. Love is a CHOICE, not a feeling. Neither of you truly loved each other, considering you are now "broken up."