Hey, I'm new to this site and I know my problem is nothing compared to the other ones but this site seems so helpful and understanding. And I definetly need help.

I've been with this girl for 2 months (I know it's nothing but it's something to me) and she means a great deal to me. I've been with plenty of girls but I've never been so lifeless, empty and lonely. I was never the good b/f. I'm insecure and over protective cause its my first opening up, usually I hide away so I won't get hurt but this time I gave in all. I don't throw the word 'love' around but I love this girl. When I'm with her, I feel like I'm on top of the world. Anyway, I noticed she acted distant with me the last couple of weeks and I pointed it out to her and she said I was just thinking things again. We got into an argument and I broke it off with her, she came to my house around 2 am crying. I took her back in my arms and next night, we broke off again cause of my actions. I accepted it, thinking I could do it without her cause I've done it heaps of times before with the other girls but I couldn't. I wanted her back and did many things to win her back. I bought her gifts, went to her work, gave it to her and stayed right in front of her work in my car for 1 and half hours, pulling faces and writing 'I love you" on the car window fog. She was fine, she giggled and smiled the whole time. But she's told me she needs space, and wants to focus on studying cause its her last year. I didn't accept that cause I thought she was seeing someone new. Anyway, she hasn't. I just want her back but I can't. She's made up her mind. She still says she loves and misses me, I know she does. Its genuine when she says it to me but I'm confused and don't know what to do. Should I wait for her or just move on? She said she'll be free around December but she doesn't know if we can give it another try. She says time will tell. Which is understanding at times but sometimes I just want to get away from her. We went to the movies today. We kissed, cuddled and held hands. When I went away from her, instead of sitting close to her in the movies, she asked if I was okay and why I was so far from her? What does this mean? I'm so lost and don't know what to do. I test her by talking about these other girls who likes me but she just says go date them. I don't know if its out of jealousy or she wants me to move on. I asked her if she was happy and she said she wasn't when we were in the relatonship but now she is. She also says she misses how we used to be, when we first started dating and she does miss how we hanged out. Sorry if I keep repeating stuff. I just can't think straight. Someone help. I'll appreciate it. Should I wait or go? She's worth it I know but I'm afraid of the outcome, I suppose.

PS: She still messages me asking what I'm doing or wishing me a good day and that she loves me every morning.

NC for you.

Ignore all messages.

She obviously confusing the heck out of you with her insecurity. She's unsure of what she wants, so she's keeping you around, just in case she changes her mind.

It's time to step it up and give her the ultimatum. Tell her that your feelings for her are too strong and that you want more than a friendship. If she can't handle that, then it's time for you to move on with your life.

Make your intentions clear and she's going to have to make up her mind. After that, you have to make sure that you do not contact her anymore. She will contact you and only accept if she wants you back. If she's contacting you to let you know that she just wants to be friends or needs more time, then do not respond. If you keep talking to her, you will just continue to interpret every single detail or sign and that will just drive you nuts.

No point prolonging your pain and suffering. Let her know how you feel and start moving on with your life. If she comes back then great. If she doesn't, at least you'll have already moved forward with your life.

Hey thanks guys. Since, last night I've been reading posts and answers. It helped me a bit, usually I'll end up breaking down every night and do everything to hear her voice or talk to her online. But last night I went offline, slept. She called and msged but I didn't reply cause I thought my sleeping is a lot more important. Well, today I went to square one. Talked to her online and asked her why she msged and stuff. She said I thought I would have wanted to talk. I'll see her today (hopefully) and maybe after that, I could do the whole NC :)

I didn't reply cause I thought my sleeping is alot more important.

Sleeping is always more important!

I never used to think that cause I always put msyelf last when it comes to her. Just came back from shopping with her, feel sick and depressed now. I told her we got to lose contact, she was quiet. But yeah... I'm trying to let her go. I'll block her soon >.< Its hard.

I never used to think that cause I always put msyelf last when it comes to her.

Never, and I mean never put yourself last to anyone. When you make someone more important then you, you give them your power and women do not like a guy who is not powerful.


Just came back from shopping with her,

This is called contact. It is the opposite of no contact.

Seriously, why did you do this?


feel sick and depressed now.

Because you are breaking your own rules. You know you deserve to treat yourself better and you are not.


I told her we got to lose contact, she was quiet. But yeah...I'm trying to let her go. I'll block her soon >.< Its hard.

It is hard, but it is not impossible. We've all had to do it in the past and we all know that the longer you drag it out the more disgusted with yourself you will feel. The way out of your depression is to go to NC. Don't tell her about it, just do it. Don't get her opinion, just do it. Don't be scared if her feelings get hurt (or she lies and say they get hurt, she knows this is coming anyway) and just do it.

No you should not wait for her, because what if she never comes around? Its better to go on with your life so if she doesn't come back, at least you didn't waste any time, if she does than great.

She is playing games with you. Stop playing her games. It has to be yes or no and not between. I don't think its safe to say you love this girl, you ve just known her for 2 months. You are probably still in the honeymoon phase and everything seemsso perfect. Just give it some time.

I think you should cut all contact with her, and disappear from her life. You are not ready for a relationship until you have gotten over your own issues, and dealt with your own behavior in a positive way.

Your thoughts may tell you your in love, but your actions don't. Don't take this to harshly but your just learning some things about yourself.

You made mistakes, so did she. It didn't work, and neither of you could make it work, so instead of trying to fix what is broken, step back, leave each other alone, and fix yourselves.

When the emotional dust settles, you both can make a better decision for yourselves, as individuals, as to what you want to do, but by continuing to see each other, you both are forced to see the worse in each other, and make you both miserable..

No Contact is your answer.

Threads merged and edited.



Ever since, I kept asking her to come back till last night. She always messages me and still wants to talk cause she said time will tell, which is true. I know she still loves and misses me but I need to turn the tables around and MAKE HER COME BACK TO ME naturally without me needing to pull her back and make her feel prisoned. We went to the movies the other day, I cuddled and held her close to me as close as I can at the start of the movie but around the middle, I decided to eat my popcorn so I left her on the other side of the chair and she came up to me and asked what was wrong and why I was so far. Now, these days I've backed off a little to be honest, she messages me and I know for a fact she's not seeing anyone or anything. So, I think I still got a chance if I pull myself back a little and let her run back to me. I've been gyming and staying away from MSN, got rid of Facebook too cause its trouble and don't want to know what she's up to which is helping me to still love her but also keep my distance which I hope would drive her nuts. She said I changed, which was correct. I used to be so fun and she always thought I was an cause before she got my number of a friend and msged me. I never spoken to her and when she said hi, I said hi back and nothing more. So yeah :)

This site is helping me heaps too. I've been reading a lot of stories and been going back on askmen.com and when I feel like I'm going to run back, I just write it out and throw it away. I keep my pride, ego and love altogether.

That's why NC isn't always the case, I think. I'm pretty sure if you stayed friends, stayed positive. Maybe they'll come back? Hmmm Just a thought. I thought about doing the whole NC but I can't so I keep her there but too close either.

Personally, NC only works if you want to move on and heal. If you are trying to win her back, then NC isn't the solution, nothing is. She will have to want to come back on her own. But I don't see why people would go back to their ex, after just a week of NC, I saw how messed up my relationship was and got happy about it ending.

I would find it hard to be friends with someone I clearly had deeper feelings for. I think that is unfair to the friendship entirely.

I do not think there is a rock solid way to get someone back. The best thing to do is to be able to move on, get better, grow, learn and be yourself before, during, and after a relationship. If you can do that, you can have anything you set your mind to. The key is to not lose yourself, as fighting hard for someone who doesn't want you, is a sure fire way to lose yourself.

There is no defined process, plan, or procedure to get someone back.

The best thing to do is take what life throws at you, adapt, and overcome.

Get yourself happy by doing things that make you happy. Through that, you will meet others who like doing the same things and who are naturally attracted to you and your positive outlook.

I think many people confuse being friends with an ex with being CIVIL and MATURE with them. For example, Saturday, my ex and I were both invited by some friends to go to an MLB game. I had no clue she was even invited in the first place. When I saw her, I was definitely in shock.

Did I lash out and become a big baby? No.

Did I go into a-hole mode? No.

Did I go up and say "Hi", give her a hug, and see how she was doing? Yes.

Did I talk to her, act mature, civil, polite, respectful, and friendly? Yes.

Did I enjoy seeing her? Yes.

Did she enjoy seeing me? I don't know... I think so.

Did I still have a good time at the game, even though she was sitting right next to me the whole time? Yes.

Do I still have feelings for her? Of course!

Did I call her the next day and ask to hang out with her? No.

Do I want to call her and hang out with her? No.. not really right now, but if we run into each other while we are out, it won't bother me.

Are we friends right now? Not in my book, but that does not mean we never will be.

Are we civil, polite, and respectful to each other? Absolutely!

The point is, it is possible get along with an ex and still not be friends. Can everyone/should do this... No! I think that some people reach a certain point where they can, where others never get to that point (given how everyone's situation is unique).

However, I think is shows more about your character when you can be respectful, polite, and friendly when you see them, than it does trying to force a friendship along that will be clouded with old feelings and emotions, or being a complete jerk toward them. They're human with feelings, just like the rest of us.

Remember, NC is not a tool to get them back. NC is a tool to help you cope and move on. It doesn't have to last forever, but it has to practiced be long enough to get you to a point where you don't need that person in your life to be happy.

As far a pulling them back in... as the saying goes "only time will tell".

Hey guys
Yeah I know what you mean by NC for growing and learning. I've thought about whole sorts of things to do, but in the mean time I am also doing things that I enjoy and I plan to keep her as a friend too. We still talk heaps and I know she doesn't just talk to a friend heaps. I've decided that I'll work hard and make myself a better person. I don't plan to hang out with her, maybe once a month. So, if she moves in the process of me just being around then yeah I'll call it quits or if I meet someone along the way then that's my luck... I don't think break ups always should lead to NC

Jmw that was a nice approach :)

Yeah, me and my ex stll respects each other. For her late reply messages she says sorry and tells me what she was doing to send me a late reply. I guess she cares what I think still

Only she can make the decision to come back.

Be careful... You are forging a friendship with ulterior motives in mind. It's not going to work. Your feelings for her are still there. You are going into this friendship with the hope that she will take you back. Being in the Friend Zone is like being locked up in Alcatraz... hardly anyone escapes to the other side.

To approach a friendship with anyone in this way will usually lead to more emotional pain... when your plan to "pull" her back crumbles. Don't put you life on hold hoping and wishing for things to happen. You either make things happen or you don't.

We still talk heaps and I know she doesn't just talk to a friend heaps


She does with you. Its dangerous to assume what people do, and why they do it. I think your keeping false hope alive.

I don't think break ups always should lead to NC
If you need to heal from the shock, disappointment, and confusion of a break up it does. That's what NC is all about, Healing.

But if your not hurt, then you don't need it. Just make sure that false hope, and denial, don't cloud your judgment.

Puff Daddy said it best "Don't make an arse out of yourself, assuming"

Assuming gets you no where. It only leads to confusion and pain. Like when my fiancé said to me last night "If you want, you can do the dishes" I ASSUMED she meant "If you have a chance to do them, thanks" but I forgot and what she meant was "You better do the dishes or I am going to turn into Hitler and withhold what women normally withhold"

^^ I feel for you... they always use it as a tool and weapon to get what they want.

Threads merged

I'm not trying to start a war or anything. Just want to make a point and a opinion. I know every time something happens, this forum tends to give the NC rule out to that person. Maybe, sometimes its not always about leading your own life and pretending to be happy without the person you love. Maybe, it's about being a friend she would always turn to in time of needs. Someone she trust, depend and care about so much. Something truly great can may be built after friendship, time and her starting to see the bigger person in you.
Make her feel special, like she's worth it. Not all the girls are out to have someone hanging around or just cause they feel guilty they're just trying to be nice. Maybe it is something she really wants. To take time, space etc. But we tend to put out the NC on them as soon as they ask for what they want. I know its hard, painful and everything but wouldn't you become a stronger person if you forgive yourself, her and stay there as her friend. Wouldn't she be impressed and admire that? I've been confused for the last 3 weeks. I've asked plenty of girls about this and they say the same. If she wants space, give her space but don't run away from her and stop being her friend. Cause she really wants time to herself. But I come on here and I get the NC. Maybe its just not about NC at times...

So what do you think? Cause I read a lot of stories and sometimes, I wish people would stop doing NC and running away...

NC does not mean run away.

Pretty much like I'm not going to contact her cause I want to escape from her cause she makes me sad...

With contacting my ex after the breakup (personally) I either got severely depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts

Or severely angry to the point of screaming and throwing things.

So... I don't think we would be good friends.

Just a guess though.

Pretty much like i'm not going to contact her cause I want to escape from her cause she makes me sad...
You're right.

Do you like to put yourself in environments and situations that depress you? I don't.

I think you're confusing the meaning of no contact. No contact, in our context, is a recovery process, not a means of blocking someone out of your life forever.

No contact is when you are no longer objective about your feelings. When you analyse every little detail. When you continue to have false hope, but there is actually no hope. When you act desperate and cannot control your emotions.

No contact means to distance yourself from that person until you have recovered from these symptoms. Once both of you have recovered and feel more objective, then you can try to start a friendship. But keep in mind, you cannot force a friendship if one of you doesn't want it to happen.

Let me put it to you this way. By being friends you are showing how much you care by accepting their request. This makes them happy because it's what they want. Whether so-called friendship bounces back to relationship is unpredictable at best. By asking for No Contact, you are now asking them to care about you and your feelings at least for a short while. They want space from you. You want even more space (with no contact). 9 times out of 10, this will piss them off. Exes tend to get mad when you say you need more space than them because now they aren't getting what they want. If they respect your request for NC, then it shows they do care about your feelings. If they are upset, then they are selfish. Plain and simple. I went NC with my ex (who wanted to stay friends) and she went crazy. She lost control. If she was really a free spirited and loving person, she would have accepted that I needed time to process the break up without her around. Her true colors became apparent and it actually made me hate her for a while.

I think you're confusing the meaning of no contact. No contact, in our context, is a recovery process, not a means of blocking someone out of your life forever.

No contact is when you are no longer objective about your feelings. When you analyse every little detail. When you continue to have false hope, but there is actually no hope. When you act desperate and cannot control your emotions.

No contact means to distance yourself from that person until you have recovered from these symptoms. Once both of you have recovered and feel more objective, then you can try to start a friendship. But keep in mind, you cannot force a friendship if one of you doesn't want it to happen.

Is there really ever hope for another 'relationship' even in the context of friendship,when one has hurt you so bad?

Personally I've done NC with bestfriends (besides relationships) and we just... go 100%

And a bestfriendship is hardly a relationship... so I'm pretty much aware I'll never make up with my ex.

I wanted to add something. If they say they just want to be friends and you accept, but try to pursue them anyway, then they will grow to resent you.

If you pretend friendship is what you want (and that's all you get), you will grow to resent them.

If you respect their need for space, but they don't respect yours', you will grow to resent them.

If you respect their need for space, and they respect your need for space, then you just broke up with a healthy, mature adult person and the both of you will still respect and possibly love each other meaning friendship would be detrimental to either of you moving on.

The only way friendship is possible (in my eyes), is if there are no feelings or attraction left from both parties (I have yet to see this).

Let me put it to you this way. By being friends you are showing how much you care by accepting their request. This makes them happy because it's what they want. Whether so-called friendship bounces back to relationship is unpredictable at best. By asking for No Contact, you are now asking them to care about you and your feelings at least for a short while. They want space from you. You want even more space (with no contact). 9 times out of 10, this will piss them off. Exes tend to get mad when you say you need more space than them because now they aren't getting what they want. If they respect your request for NC, then it shows they do care about your feelings. If they are upset, then they are selfish. Plain and simple. I went NC with my ex (who wanted to stay friends) and she went crazy. She lost control. If she was really a free spirited and loving person, she would have accepted that I needed time to process the break up without her around. Her true colors became apparent and it actually made me hate her for a while.

Ha.Funny thing. My ex left me for someone else 3 times I think,well the first didn't really count but anyhow.

After the first time when I said we couldn't be friends,my ex started bawling in front of me,yes crying,real tears

And THAT THERE is selfish as hell,because I had been crying about the relationship and here my ex is crying about the fact we won't have a friendship.

She then said to me 'promise oh promise me you'll see me again'

"as friends?"

"yeah"

"hell no"

"WAA WAA WAA WAA"

Give me a break. So then my ex kept writing me for months and we were on and off on and off

It was always physical though,for some reason my ex didn't want to commit.

Until I found out why... someone else... my ex was seeing.. during this time... and also the reason we broke up in the past

I tell the guy what's going on and he says "OMG ___ YOU CHEATED ON ME"

They had been 'dating' two weeks.

She then crys to him and says "I can't SEE YOU AS A FRIEND PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME"

So of course after this I tell her to f*** herself

Then she apologizes to me THREE TIMES over the course of a week.

Then says I need to get out of her life

Well as you can tell...

This is why I can't do the friends thing... a nice elaboration for you all.

It's always ugly. I don't want to paint them as a villain because they don't realize how much it hurts. Then when you reject their advances, they write you off as the jerk. The only ex boyfriends girls remember fondly are the ones who literally are always there for them, but they hardly date them again (except when rebounding). "That Harry is a great guy (but I don't really respect him)".

Take away an ex's power over you with NC and they think you are a bitter jerk.

Each relationship that ends is an individual thing. Every person and couple are different. NC may work just fine for some and not for others. I think its your choice and what works for you. If you hear NC on here over and over, its just our opinions. Only you know in your heart what will work and what you need.

Sounds as if you want confirmation that remaining friends is a good idea.

Firstly, your not just interested in being friends, your interested in being "friends" so that you can get her back.

Secondly, even if you could get her back using this strategy it probably has a 10&#37; chance of success, not great odds. Also consider that if you do not get her back how much worse you'll be off.

I say this because I wrote a similar thread years ago on this site questioning why members just throw out NC all the time regardless of the circumstances. I did not listen, I was not successful, it still bothers me years later. The advice here is some of the finest you'll ever get and I like many others are appreciative of that fact.

Think it through and govern yourself the way you think best.

Best of luck to you.

Each relationship that ends is an individual thing. Every person and couple are different. NC may work just fine for some and not for others. I think its your choice and what works for you. If you hear NC on here over and over, its just our opinions. Only you know in your heart what will work and what you need.


Actually I disagree with this kind of speech. Yes we are all different (mostly in small ways), but human needs are universal. When we end a relationship we always tend to think no one could understand because it was so different. While it may be true that your relationship was unique in certain ways, your basic universal human needs are what brought you into the relationship, therefore heartbreak is a universal feeling. How we cope can be more varied, but the healthiest way to move on from a relationship is to let it go. Hard to let go when you are begging for your ex's leftovers.

I wish people would stop doing NC and running away...
Your not running away. Your accepting reality and dealing with the most important issue there is, YOURSELF, AND HOW YOU COPE WITH YOUR FEELINGS OF LOSS.

The break up is no longer and issue once it happens, the feelings that the break up causes are. They hurt, and affect our thinking, attitude, behavior, in some very profound ways.

That's what No Contact is about, healing, and coping so you can make good decisions for yourself based on facts, and not just emotions.

But I understand what your saying very well, mainly because everyone who has posted here, has said the same thing.

Read their personal stories if you don't believe me.

I predict, you will eventually heal, and be stronger, and wiser, and healthier, just as they have. If you take a few suggestions..!

Actually I disagree with this kind of speech. Yes we are all different (mostly in small ways), but human needs are universal. When we end a relationship we always tend to think no one could understand because it was so different. While it may be true that your relationship was unique in certain ways, your basic universal human needs are what brought you into the relationship, therefore heartbreak is a universal feeling. How we cope can be more varied, but the healthiest way to move on from a relationship is to let it go. Hard to let go when you are begging for your ex's leftovers.

I see where your coming from and have no argument. I guess for me sometimes I sit back and see both sides and think only the individuals know what's best. I always try to have an open mind and have wondered why the NC is always pushed in these threads. Oh I do understand it. Trust me. Been there myself. I know I sound wishy washy on it. Maybe I am.

Of course you are wish washy, no contact starts as a short term fix and usually becomes permanent. When someone dumps you and you want the relationship to work out, NC is the last thing you want to do. That's why it's a beautiful thing. It's empowering yourself. The ex is no longer in control of your future. Now the ex feels abandoned and out of control. All of your actions appear independent of your ex's wants and needs. You are moving on physically to move on emotionally. When you can do it without rebounding as well, you are proving you have the strength to persevere through heartbreak's despair and emptiness without your ex. They can't do that even though they dumped you (hence friendship). The biggest fear dumpees have about NC is truly losing the person you love, but you lost them when they dumped you. You have to let them lose you too for your own pride and sanity. It's not a punishment to the ex, it's giving them what they asked for on your terms. Maybe, just maybe next time they will think long and hard before they break up with someone.

Most importantly, you are freeing yourself from someone you loved and when you are ready, you will be available to love someone just as deeply again. Vs. those who stay friends with all their exes (options) and never give their heart to someone completely. Remember, YOU felt those emotions, they are yours, not your ex's. You can feel them again with someone else, but next time you will be a little wiser.

Sorry, last thing (I'm on a roll). Getting dumped sucks because you were not preparing yourself and keeping your options open. I know people who keep options in their pocket until they get married, although I disagree with this because those options are so tempting when your relationship hits the skids (as all do at times). Just remember how many people you "could have" connected with while you were taken. You didn't reject them because they weren't a better option. You rejected them because you have dignity and integrity. You are a trustworthy person and until your relationship is officially over, you are not looking.

Ride out the feelings of desperation alone and when you are yourself again, more options will present themselves naturally (as they did when you were in a relationship). Let the bed hopping exes continue their pathetic unfulfilling lifestyle without your help. Chances are if they left you for someone else, they will continue doing so. Or at least they are under suspicion.

BTW, if you are dumped by a person because they just don't see it working and then stay single for a time, then at least you have the comfort of knowing they gave it all they could and didn't betray you.

Hey inertia,

Only reason I mention the last line is because it sounds as if the person leaving is making a mistake.

I think until you have been through the experience of dumping someone, who loves you, then its hard to understand that it sucks to dump someone, also.

I think until you have been thru the experience of dumping someone, who loves you, then its hard to understand that it sucks to dump someone, also.

It most certainly does (I have). Although the guilt of hurting her slowly eroded into resentment when she wouldn't take no for an answer. I had to change my phone number to cut those ties. I also stayed single for a year because I didn't have the energy for a relationship (having given it all that I could). Having said that, getting dumped is what hurts the fragile ego. Dumping is stressful because you don't want to inflict pain on someone you care about (especially knowing how that pain feels). Not once though, did I attempt to keep her around to prevent loneliness. Worked out in her favor, she moved on pretty quickly and is happily married.

Hey inertia,

Only reason I mention the last line is because it sounds as if the person leaving is making a mistake.

If they are trying to keep you around on a leash, then making a mistake letting you go is a concern of theirs. If they haven't completely left your life despite ending the "committed" relationship then I think it's important to finalize the deal. Maybe next time, if they aren't sure, they will communicate a bit more with their partner realizing that breaking up with someone is indeed a permanent solution and not a temporary reprieve. I'm really only addressing the dumpers who give mixed signals. Yes, they are confused, but they are tormenting someone who loves them deeply. That's the mistake. Be sure you want to end it before you end it.

Wonderful. When put like that I have no objection inertia, thanks for the thoughtful posts.

(Why am I so talkative today?)

Here is a fundamental difference between people such as myself and a lot of our exes. The kind of exes that bring people to this board.

If I don't love someone anymore, I don't want them to love me.
If a girl is interested in me and I'm not, I gently close myself off to them a little bit. Yeah, it sucks to act a little cold, but they seem to forget pretty quickly and I don't have to feel guilty for leading them on.

Why do some people need to cultivate the opposite sex's attraction even though they aren't interested? Why tease? I'm no talking about harmless flirting. I'm talking about someone developing true romantic feelings. You can tell when those eyes change. I actually get just a little mean until those eyes go back to normal (again, when I'm not interested). Am I the weird one?

After being dumped a few times, I started seeing, it was me that was allowing them to live rent free in my head and heart, and putting up with their BS.

It still sucked, but I learned the hard way.

After being dumped a few times, I started seeing, it was me that was allowing them to live rent free in my head and heart, and putting up with their BS.

It still sucked, but I learned the hard way.

It sometimes takes a while to see through the BS though. I'm a pretty observant person, but I have been fooled on more than one occasion. Years ago (like 10), I was infatuated with a girl who called me 3 times a day. Spent the night several times a week (no sex because I wanted a commitment first(I was idealistic)). Listened to "you're the most important person in my life", "let's get married if we are still single at 30", "you're everything I'm looking for" etc. She had a million reasons for why we couldn't be a "couple". All seemed understandable at the time, (in my youthful ignorance I thought, why would a girl say this stuff if it wasn't true?). I wasn't needy or anything, didn't ask for those kinds of promises. I was just a good listener, fun to be around and I wasn't demanding anything from her. Turns out, I was a rebound. After 3 months, she started getting serious with someone else. I still hear about her (same college friends). She still refers to me as one of her best friends from college, which 10 years ago would have insulted me, but I have long since forgotten how much I think it really hurt me to be used like that. I recovered pretty quickly as 3 months isn't long at all, but I remember the lesson well. Unfortunately, Every new girl brings a new lesson. I'm either relationship retarded or it's the steepest learning curve of all time.

Unfortunately, Every new girl brings a new lesson. I'm either relationship retarded or it's the steepest learning curve of all time.

I think that it's pretty steep! But that depends on how compatible you are too, as some people get lucky within a couple of relationships.

I always find it hard to break up with people that I've cared about & loved before. I think that it's much harder to be the dumpee though, especially if it was a surprise and you really thought that you had something good going. Or the communication was plain poor, and the relationship may have lasted if you were both less naïve.
Looking back, I have a lot more respect for the ex's that I've dumped who've stayed NC after the relationship. I've even become vague friends with them again, and we can have quite amicable conversations. It'll never become a "proper" friendship though, as there is that history there, and the defenses will probably always be there.

I don't think that being "friends" straight after a relationship ends helps anyone to move on, on either side. If one rebounds, then it'll always hurt the other person, no matter what the dumping situation. Frienship can be achieved later on though, but really only when both sides have healed, and both sides what to keep that contact alive.

I understand where all of you are coming from but I'll think I'll try something different and see how the story ends. I'm sure I can look after myself even though it may hurt at times. And I'll get back to this and see if it worked just being friends with her. See, if she'll come back around in time.

Threads merged

I thought I'll keep up an online diary here. Maybe, it'll make me feel better.
People can reply if they want.

Summing up the last 3 weeks:

4th July, 2009

We broke up 3 weeks ago and it's been a mess ever since. I've had major bipolar moments and it's all cause I don't know how to cope with the break up. Every time, I see her or talk to her, I end up talking about our relationship and why we had to be this way.
She explained every time but I know it's becoming a every day thing and I'm sure she's sick of it. She tries and sees me every time. I saw her yesterday. We laughed and made jokes till I went on my emotional rollercoaster and started going at her again. I've said so many goodbyes to her but I keep running back. She's tried to stop me every time but yesterdays argument was off the hook. I said goodbye, msged her goodbye but end up asking for a chance to build this friendship again cause I want to try the whole friendship way. Maybe she'll see a change in me and come back around. Sometimes, it's not even the hope of having her back cause I don't feel nothing of that right now. Just want to be friends. I've msged her 3 times and she hasn't replied. We planned to play video games this week so I hope that's still happening. Maybe, this time around I won't bring up the whole relationship and show her I can be the person I used to be. The good thing last night was I could able to sleep without getting on the phone to anyone. It was a first night/time. Im learning to live with myself :) instead of finding comfort in girls.

This is a great idea. Great way to vent. Great way to let those feelings out in a positive way.

Good job!

Keep us posted:)

Sarah

The fact that you guys are still hanging out/seeing each other is going to make it 10 times harder to get over her. My ex and I, after being together for over 4 years, still hung out together after we broke up. It made for very confusing times. We got back together once because we thought that's what we wanted. It didn't work out because obviously nothing had changed. Things were still the same. We left each other alone for a while. Kept conversation very casual when we were hanging out in our group of friends. It is possible to move on, but in order to do that you need to put quite a bit of distance between the two of you. My ex and I are friends now, but we couldn't have done that if hadn't gotten over one another first. Definitely keep us posted though. The online diary is a good idea.

Another thing to take into consideration is... no one really know what might happen in the future, staying NC or not... it doesn't really tell anyone what's going to happen. It's pretty much like a half time game... you played the first half and now it's the 'break" where we all go our ways to improve ourselves and maybe one day get back together for 2nd half and hope that is it. All the suggestion here are great and yea NC is to work on yourself and no one else but you. And yea it doesn't mean to cut off all connection, feelings might be there... but either way no point of worrying too much about it (and yea I know it hurts like hell) cause everything happens for a reason. We make our own choice and our own happiness, but coming together into one relationship is sharing each others' happiness together.

Just curiosity does this even happen to anyone... where let's say maybe person A is confused, doesn't really know what he/she wants and ends the relationship with person B but comes back (let say the next day or few days later). During these few weeks, Person B seems like things changed [like let say uhh not really communicating (since it's usually the problem)] and the best thing is to just let Person A go, *not for Person B sake* but to make things easier for Person A so Person A won't feel so confused on choices and possibility a better choice for both parties... Pretty much what I'm saying its more like a mutual break up than what exactly happens than? Like breaking up with someone you truly love just to make that person life choice easier... u know sacrificing yourself for the one you love. (something like that) Would staying as friends be a better choice.. but still have NC for awhile? Or it just too much of fairy tale lol

I do agree after a period of NC... things are just the way it is cause both parties don't want to do anything about it... "Letting go is hard, but holding on to something is even harder" ^^ And yea who really knows what might happen in the future... only way to tell is let time do it's thing and see through it... no point of giving up or letting go so just let life flow and let everything fall in it's place.

This is me today on MSN to her
:

Julio [Heaven please wait a while. I need this girl here with me.] says:
You didn't reply
Wasted 50 cents
Copycat just cause my status is busy
Julio [Did I mean anything to you? Or was I just something you did to pass the time?] says:
*coughsss
Hello?
Dingdingding
Dingding
Now, its getting colddd
Today was nice
Nice weather and all
I'm thirsty
I had 3 hot dogs today
What movie did you watch last night? I watched April fool
So lamee and so old
3 hot dogs were nice, a lot of mustard and tomato sauce
How was your day? Mine was alrigh
You look stunning in your dp. Did I ever tell you that?
Nah didn't think so
My hands are cold , its frozen
Let me guess you're putting your $500 as a useful source and playing word challenge now?
I need to wash my hair
I will not run out of things to say ><
Hi...
Yes $500, I'm talking about your glasses
Why is that I try talk normally and you don't talk back?

I understand where all of you are coming from but I'll think I'll try something different and see how the story ends. I'm sure I can look after myself even though it may hurt at times. And I'll get back to this and see if it worked just being friends with her. See, if she'll come back around in time.

I think you are an example of why N/C is recommended. It seems like you are in some sort of denial phase. I've read your other posts and I am quite confused as to what your story really is. Here is the post from your Online Diary.


I thought I'll keep up an online diary here. Maybe, it'll make me feel better.
People can reply if they want.

Summing up the last 3 weeks:

4th July, 2009

We broke up 3 weeks ago and it's been a mess ever since. I've had major bipolar moments and it's all cause I don't know how to cope with the break up. Everytime, I see her or talk to her, I end up talking about our relationship and why we had to be this way.
She explained everytime but I know it's becoming a every day thing and I'm sure shes sick of it. She tries and sees me everytime. I saw her yesterday. We laughed and made jokes till I went on my emotional rollercoaster and started going at her again. I've said so many goodbyes to her but I keep running back. Shes tried to stop me everytime but yesterdays arguement was off the hook. I said goodbye, msged her goodbye but end up asking for a chance to build this friendship again cause I want to try the whole friendship way. Maybe she'll see a change in me and come back around. Sometimes, it's not even the hope of having her back cause I don't feel nothing of that right now. Just want to be friends. I've msged her 3 times and she hasn't replied. We planned to play video games this week so I hope that's still happening. Maybe, this time around I won't bring up the whole relationship and show her I can be the person I used to be. The good thing last night was I could able to sleep without getting on the phone to anyone. It was a first night/time. Im learning to live with myself :) instead of finding comfort in girls.

Please let us know if your method is working for you.

Yes, our story is scattered everywhere and nobody could catch up. I sent her 40 or so question mark text messages. 3 with how much I miss her and one is a goodbye =\ Its bad, I know. I've learnt my lesson. I got annoyed cause she didn't reply to my text message that day, came on MSN wouldn't talk to me while I confessed her everything, she goes to work and she calls me for like 20 seconds to see what I was doing, she comes home and she's on MSN. Her name kept changing to "I love him, i want him, i wanna see him tonight." I took it calmly. I didn't want to jump into conclusions since it could have been about me. Shw wouldn't tell me who it was about. She says she hasn't seen anyone or interested in anyone. Next day, I msged. She just told me she was out and why would she need a ride home. That night I asked her what she was doing, she said she was drunk as. I asked what she had and she said secret, I don't know, some boys gave it to me. I reacted calmly and she called me 7 times but all I heard was music, then she msged me after it asking if she called me, I said I don't know have u and she said she doesn't know but when she checked her phone it was ringing me... I said OK. Later that night I said gnight and if she needs anything to gimme a call and tc. Today, I asked her to come out but she didn't want to cause she had work later on so I yet again asked her what she wanted, she wouldn't answer me till an hour later where I was still naggin her about giving me a straight answer. A ; I only like you as a friend and nothing more. B ; I like you but just want to be friends now. IT took her a while to answer but she finally did and the answer was A. I took it well, I was happy and talkative. Started talking to her as normal friends, first she was chatting a bit but slow replies then she fully stopped talking. Her msn name is iy0u which would be love, like or miss. Whatever it is. I don't know who its for. She seems really confused but Im happy. It was my last straw and she said A so I'm going to trea her as a friend and stay that way. Even if she was seeing someone else which I doubt, I would be happy for her. So, I'm at the stage where I like her but still can let her go :) Which is great. We may get together in the future but surely for now and Im not holding on any hope or rope.

It's nice that you think you are okay with being friends with her... but you AREN'T okay. You don't text a friend 40 times, you don't obsess about what they are doing all the time and analyze everything they do. You aren't ready to be friends! Unless you have some magical light switch in which you can turn your feelings on and off, you aren't over anything and you cannot emotionally put yourself in such a position. And what you don't realize, is that to your EX, all of this makes you look WORSE. Think of how attractive someone might seem to you when they are texting you all the time, asking what you are doing, asking the status of your "relationship", etc. It's a complete and utter turnoff, even as a friend!

The way you describe everything just proves how important NC is. You may think it's being pushed, but it's a good thing to do REGARDLESS of whether you want to be with someone or not. Making yourself seem needy and obsessing makes you unattractive in the other party's eyes. Usually it is "pushed" because all of us have been through the "oh I can be friends with them" stage and have been torn up emotionally and mentally because of it. It's to encourage people like you to not go through the hurt and anguish that we went through.

I think you are saying all these things, but you don't believe them yourself. You say you are fine with her seeing other people, but from the way you depict things, you are not. You mentioned twice that you don't think she is seeing someone. Why would you even write that if you didn't indeed care?

Here's a thought... if you think you can let her go, then try it for a week/two weeks. It's hard to give advice to people who aren't receptive... usually it's just to reinforce their own feelings on the matter and that is it.

If your not happy that your ex is with someone else, then your not healed. Anything else is you lying to yourself.

That means that friends thing takes a back seat, and you get a lot less attention, and that will drive you crazy, if your not healed enough.

Believe it or not, your only fooling yourself. But I can understand it, I learned the hard way, as most of us here have. You probably will too, as misery, and pain, is one heckuva teacher. But NO CONTACT, will help you make better decisions for yourself, and deal with reality, not fantasy.

WHAT! LOL. I'm over obsessing and texting her. I asked her to come out for a bit today but she organised something so I said its cool then she tells me she'll still see me but her friends want to come along as well so I said nah its OK, Ive already plans and Im out and she's pissd off now but I don't care. I can control myself from msging or talking to her now :)

Ps: She seems really confused. When I talk about a girl, she asks me why Im telling her this and she just go crazy. Then we talk normally and we're okay but she then gives me slow replies. I think a part of her wants and loves me but the other is so focused on what we had before, she's scared and she knows that forsho she needs to focus on school for now...

Why not just let life flow and if she does come back, than make a choice than but in the mean time... just let life flow and you just enjoy yourself. If it's meant to be it'll be, no matter how far she is or where she is, she'll always come back. If it's not meant to be than no matter how much you try to keep someone or force someone, it just won't ever happen. So just live your life and work on yourself day by day. Some days it'll be hard but you just have to keep your mind straight and you should be fine. Take it as a break and improve yourself so when she does come back or if you found someone else than you know you're a better person at that point. ^^

It was mentioned before in a post, you can't help someone who is not receptive.

I do not wish to be mean or anything but it is quite obvious your going to do what you want regardless of what members say here. You cannot imagine how clear and obvious the situation is to members here, we know exactly what's going on.

We've all been where you are but unfortunetly you have to learn the hard way sometimes.

It kind of sounds like your playing games with each other. Your going to be hurt. You need to just be the bigger one and walk away completely.

Once upon a time I was dumped by a guy I loved... I turned into a kind of stalker/ex lunatic everyone dreads,only after I had totally humiliated myself and was on the last dregs of self respect did I start no contact,he was like my personal drug.I was addicted to him. So I went cold turkey.. if I saw him in town I went the other way and started N.C again.
Then one night about a year later I ran into him in a club,we chit chatted for a while and as we were talking I was thinking "what the f.. k was I thinking?'
My point is, you get to a stage after things are finished where it just takes up too much head and heart space to continue chasing after what ifs..
N.C works.. no one likes it.. its hard as hell,it takes courage and balls to finally take back your life and build again,taking back what is rightfully yours and what the other person does not even want.

once apon a time i was dumped by a guy i loved...i turned into a kind of stalker/ex lunatic everyone dreads,only after i had totally humiliated myself and was on the last dregs of self respect did i start no contact,he was like my personal drug.i was addicted to him. so i went cold turkey..if i saw him in town i went the other way and started N.C again.
Then one night about a year later i ran into him in a club,we chit chatted for a while and as we were talking i was thinking "what the f..k was i thinking?'
My point is, you get to a stage after things are finished where it just takes up too much head and heart space to continue chasing after what ifs..
N.C works..no one likes it..its hard as hell,it takes courage and balls to finally take back your life and build again,taking back what is rightfully yours and what the other person does not even want.

I feel like I turned into a stalker/ex lunatic too, I didn't leave him alone for about 5 months , please read my thread . Just started NC a few days ago. I would love your advice.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/so-mean-him-after-break-up-feel-horrible-373374.html

Thank you darkninja
That's what Im exactly doing without NC
I'LL talk to her when I feel like it...
But Im not going to be crazy over it..
Ive left my heart/door open for anyone that wants to give me a try but the girls here already know, I'm not looking or closing so get to know them as friends..
I feel great

I am not one for pushing NC but there is a time and place for it and it is a good concept when you first break up and need time to go through the healing process. Often when you first break up your emotions are all over the place and you just want to take him/her back and make it all better even though that is not likely to happen so you need that time and space.

But I'm fine like seriously. I feel really wonderful and great. I don't think I need NC at all.

That is good if you don't need NC.
I never needed NC with my ex's but I do understand the concept and why it is good for some.

Hehe, there you go... I'm going through the same thing as well and it's what keeping my head up. It'll just take some time but you'll get through it. And contacting her should be the last thing on your mind... and try not to go checking up on her so much. If possible, just let her contact you... she might not think of you today, or tomorrow.. but one day she'll think of you (that is if you have treated her right and didn't give her any reasons to dislike you in anyways). It's all about timing, and N0help4u is right... emotions are everywhere once you first break up and you have a deep feeling of wanting her back but for all this time its going to be a false hope. If you want hope of getting back with her one day, you have to get rid of your feelings for her now... lower it down to friendship level and start from there again. Should be a test between you two... maybe its meant to be, maybe its not. Only time can tell.

Once a friend told me, "In life there are many paths but it's us who must create those paths for us to walk on." (In life there are many choices, but those choices is based on us to create them) Accept it... it might be clear to you now but tomorrow is another day so is the day after.

... and try not to go checking up on her so much. If possible, .

Another very good reason for NC. Often the one will feel the need to make sure the other is not going out with someone else. If you are broke up they can do what they want and it is not in your place to check up on what they choose to do.

Yeah, I know what nohelp means as well cause my feelings were scattered everywhere for a month but its stable now and I'm happy. I don't check up on her anymore and don't go running to my phone every morning hoping she has msged me. I have not kept the hope but haven't letten it go either. I'm a friend now and that's all Ill try to be.

yep exactly.. seems like you got your mind right. ^^ Would it be awkward though if you guys eventually see your ex after not talking so long? Cause seems like after one breaks up.. everything changes even though if you try to talk or do NC.. everything just seem so weird.

sorry for offtopic

I know what you mean. She seems a little distant and maybe upset but I'm happy and not going to think about her, I need to think about myself. It sounds selfish but when she broke up with me and left me scattered for 3 weeks. She didn't care. I remember reading something on someone's sig. It says "relationship is just a bonus" along those lines and its repeated in my head. I don't need it, I only want it and I'm not going to let my desires/temptations control my life.

Like I can live without her so why do I torture myself and think I need this? I don't. Life is too short to be stressing over stuff. I just need to better myself for the future girl or her if she comes back.

I tried to be "friends" with my ex, but every time I would hang out with him and I'd get home... I couldn't handle it. I'd break down. I already have a couple medical conditions, and the breakdowns just fed them.

It basically got to the point where I lost my mind and had to be taken to the hospital. Now I'm on correct medicine and I'm going to therapy, but NC was the best choice for me in the end.

Sometimes, if not all the time, NC is best because it preserves people's sanity. It preserves hearts. It preserves lives, in some cases.

Eventually friendship might be possible, but still, a lot of people think it would be best to never be friends, because they will get caught up in the cycle again, or afraid they will.

NC isn't running away.
It's being good to yourself and giving yourself time to heal.

Omg.. I said the same thing lol this is why I'm a happy man lol

Yea Torrid13 is right on that about NC.. we have to learn to love ourselves first before loving others. And learn to trust ourselves first before others XD

I guess everyone has a different approach and I must say I've become stronger and love myself more everyday for it. Its like a challenge and I won, I feel good about myself.
What's your story darkninja? Did you do NC or what?

Yea, well what happened was after I lost my grandfather, and she started liking another guy that was live close to her. I was in a total mess and adding on to her it's just too much. And when we broke I tried to get her back and all (failed) but she said when we broke her and this guy (the guy she likes but still loves me?? Don't know how that works and the dude probable doesn't have the same passion as I have for her, but its up to her to decide.) got close together and 3 weeks later.. they are together. So after a week I confessed to her why I broke up with her (after she broke up with me and came back and I didn't think too much at that time) but either way... a break is a break and she said so are you okay just being friends and life goes on.. and I said you so that was it... and about 2 weeks later I talked to her and I felt the distance in her so than I started NC so now it's been about 3 weeks and I don't know if she is still with that guy or not but last thing I found out is I think they got into a fight so I just sent her a message saying I'm there for her if she needs me pretty much. So.. yea NC for 3 weeks now and still sticking with it but I'm going up to see her and few friends in August so I'm making sure I'm ready for the unexpected by that time. Like I said before, "no one knows whats gonna happen in the future so ... only time can tell." Funny thing is I think she been checking up on me lately (maybe she thinks I'm taken already)... I think I already turned the table around -_- but either way I'm happy being myself, hanging out, and training parkour at times and keep myself busy while she can deal with her current b/f issue or w/e. I'm only there as a friend when she NEEDS me.. until than I have nothing to really say to her cause of all the distances. And she has the right to hit me up.. not just me, but I know the way she is so I def. don't expect her to contact me until I contact her cause she is those type that is scared to really face her own fear. (That's pretty much what she told me after that guy asked her out, "I wanted to tell u but i didn't have the courage" So hope that said enough about her). I understand her view so I respect that in her and also she was confused about herself cause she didn't know if she has a future with me and what she see in this guy reminds her so much of me... and that she wanted to experience dating around (not that stuff)... it's a mess. Hope I didn't confuse you lol but that's my story.

Well, that's okay. At least you're cool with everything and this new guy isn't bringing you down. Im glad you've made your own decisions and did what you think felt right for you. Keep me posted.

Yea man, I plan on visiting her and few of her friends in August... I don't know what's going to happen or how awkward it's going to be. Or maybe things will turn out for the better, but after 2 months and talking like 2 times... doesn't favor me much. I still love her like crazy but I can't really do much but let them be. *sigh* life really is rough... wish we all could tell the future to see what's going to happen, probable make our lives easier.

I've asked plenty of girls about this and they say the same. If she wants space, give her space but don't run away from her and stop being her friend. Cause she really wants time to herself.But it's not about what she wants. It's about doing what's right for you. Now tell me, what's the point in being "friends" with someone who disappointed you and obviously has no more romantic interest in you? Statements like the above quote that you're being given, by women, are just a case of wanting the cake and eat it too. Very convenient from their point of view. But it's not about them, it's about you.

10th July, 2009
Friday : 7:57 pm

My plan and waiting period starts now. I'll give her 2 months of pure friendship and if she doesn't come back around in that time, goodbye sweetheart see you in the next life. No contact will come in. I'll leave without warning. It starts today.

Ok. So, last night I got tipsy and ended msging her telling her I miss her. We msged a bit then she's like ttyl cause she knew I wasn't being normal. She then msged me few hours later saying don't message me OK. I said why. I managed to get her to call me on my home phone and like old times, we fell asleep on the phone. Today, kicked of pretty well with us joking around and talking normally. Lets see what happens tonight. I want to play by my own decisions and see where I end up :)

Don't play with her or your feelings, be honest to yourself. Deep down inside we all know the answer to every problem in our love life, we just think about things too much, and a lot of thoughts blinds us form being reasonable. At the end of the day you'll get what you need, not what you want. Good luck!

Sometimes things aren't really what we expect... it's not as bad as you think it is. By over thinking the situation it could cause things way worst than it is already. Yea, you two might broke up, but its not about who is right or wrong. As long none of y'all have made a final closure than there is always still hope, but the chance is created by yourself. By over analyzing everything and making things worst than what it is... than that will pretty much make someone give the closure.

My theory is just live your life and let time fix it all up, when it's time to be it'll be... great things takes time so don't rush into anything. And you might over analyze her "chat" with you but it might not mean a thing to her, so just stop thinking too much about it, you guys aren't together so all this really means nothing. Just another day with another conversation with words. If you truly love her, just let her go and if she truly loves you she'll come back in her own free will... than it's up to you to decide. Cause even if she does give you another chance that you asked, she might just be like okay w/e, not really putting effort nor caring.. do you really want that in a relationship? Or would you want her to freely come back in her own free will so maybe the spark with warm fuzzy feeling will spark up again? Like my situation... I'm willing to wait for that spark cause I rather her be herself than be someone she's not and be with me. But on the other hand I'm letting go as well so I know at the end of the day, I'm not hurt by the final choice or decision cause I'm still me.

Cocada is right about all this... he/she hit the spot.

Yeah, Im not analyse or anything much. I'm talking as a friend and its working... :)

W00t gratz XD... so only be her friend when u can accept it? Is that how you're taking it as?

Yeah, that's how I'm taking it as. We get along like old times cause we started as friends. Before the break up, she did tell me how she missed the old me. All bubbly , etc. I guess she's seeing that side of me again :)

Aww lucky you. Mine doesn't even talk to me until I speak to her but I'm so busy I don't have the time to really talk to her. :( Want her back so much but don't even know how... :\ It's been 3 weeks for me now...

I'm starting to like your view on things cause I thought about it the same, taking it as it's not an end but just an beginning. I guess actually being there makes it more worthwhile than being in distance.. cause I'm few states away from my ex and I plan on going up to see her and some of her friends ( well "our" friends now) so you think it's a good idea?

That is entirely your choice cause I don't know what your relationship is like or what's happening. But you could give it a try. I did and the other night she just did something I lost respect and everything for her so I'm not going to talk to her again. She's a complete stranger to me now. It hurt me to the point I don't even want to be friends with her anymore.

I think the NC rule after a breakup is the only solution... if you want to properly recover. I called my ex several times after my breakup because I missed him and was hoping he would change his mind about the break up. When he didn't and he told me he's glad "we can be friends," it hurt me. I'm still at a stage where I want more than friendship and anything he said otherwise is like salt to the wound. I vowed not to contact him again until I'm 100% over him.

With me, I was fine and all right with being just friends but what she did that night, she didn't even treat me like a friend. I know she cares and all that jazz but she is a stranger to me now.

Another reason that NC is valuable, not only to you but to THEM. When you play the "friends" game after a breakup, a lot of the times either you or them will play these little games when you try to make each other jealous and essentially mess with each other's heads.

I will agree that in the RAREST scenarios it is okay to be friends with an ex, but for the most part it turns into this game and it only causes more drama and pain.

Good luck with everything!

4 days with NC. Nearly, took that away tonight but I won't. What's the point? Bit of pleasure and a long term of hurt? Its not worth it. She called me yesterday but I missed it and anyway I don't plan to pick up. Unless she is willingly to give us a second shot and even then she is going to have to do a lot. I miss her like crazy. That's all I wanted to say.

Don't we all miss our ex's but just stay strong... I just broke mine to tell her I'm going up there in August and she is welcome to join with us (so I'm not forcing her lol) and left it like that and now doing my own parkour thing. XD

Jlove09 this might help or might not, but don't choose to let go just choose not to care. XD That's what I'm doing lol so either way if she comes back that's great if not than you don't care...

Threads merged

We broke up 2 months ago. It hurt for me to be around her so I told her to block me out of her life (Immature of me... I know) but she refused to so I asked her best friend to tell her to do it and eventually she did. We didn't talk for like 2 weeks then I message her out of nowhere, casually and she replies after a few days after I said gnight that night and told me to off, I'm pathetic, she hates me and I'm retarded. I told her I won't give up on her till she has found someone and she said she has and its her ex boyfriend. But I don't know if she said it for me to go away but I found out her friends would have wrote half of the messages too. Anyway, she allowed it so she's part of it. Last night she calls me 15 times on private number I picked up and just left the phone there just to waste her credit. The problem is I have tried staying away and I am going good, its just days like these when I tend to stop think about her. She's not doing that, is she? How can people forget about the person they shared something with like it was nothing? I don't want her back but I wanted to be friends with her, get attention from her and show her what a great person she has lost >.<

Sorry, but I don't get it.

You break it off in a fit of piqué.

You wail about the fact that she's contacted you, and you started it by messaging her.

When she tells you to shove off, you tell her you won't until she's found someone else.

Now you're complaining because she won't leave you alone.


I don't want her back but I wanted to be friends with her, get attention from her and show her what a great person she has lost .

Huh? It sounds like it's all about you and you're playing childish games.

Stop playing games with her heart. She deserves to be loved, cherished, and told that she's the best thing that ever happened to someone.

You broke up with her. You have no right to be "wanting to get her attention"... that's wrong. Leave her alone.

A break up is a break up. Your relationship has broken. It sounds like she just wants to move on... and you should too.

Lets go back to page one.

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