I know i'm not going to have the blonde hair i want in just one application because i've seen it being done and had it done myself before. ive just dyed my hair from black to an inbetween medium and dark brown and my roots are kind of a light brown.
ive decided i want to go blonde again. however i do not want to use the jerome russel blonde hair dye because then i did blonde flashes with it it completely frazzled my hair and felt horrible. i usually use the schwarzkoft live home dyes and i have found they are the best to use. i was just wandering if anyone had any advice for me when i come to dye it blonde with home dyes? :)

You can't simply over-dye hair that's been dyed dark. The new dye will not lighten the older dye. The standard formula for lightening dyed hair is

1. Use color remover to dissolve the old dye (and wash it away). The better color removers are ColorFix, Color Oops, Igora Phantom. Don't expect the color remover to give you back your "natural" color.

2. If the hair is light enough, you can dye it again right away.

3. If the hair is not light enough -- meaning that the remaining natural undertones are not light enough, you'll have to bleach from here. Once you get it light enough (at least to the yellow stage for a dark golden blonde, or to the pale yellow stage for a light blonde), you can tone it.

Your frazzled hair was undoubtedly because you re-bleached hair that had already been damaged. The brands of products, while different, aren't all that different. One hair bleach won't necessarily damage your hair more than another hair bleach. They all add conditioners, but conditioners of all types are temporary. The accumulated damage doesn't go away.