Hi, I am a guy of 22 and Im having fear with sex issues. When I think of having sex my heart start to beat very fast. The main surprise to me is that this fear can't go but I had sex before. I had sex with 2 different girls but the fear is there even now. When I'm with a gal I can enjoy and feel like I can sleep with her even on the streets, but when we start kissing and romance my heart beat very fast and I feel cold even losing my mind then comes the issue of getting erection as a broblem to me. I don't have any erection broblem when I am alone and I can masturbate nicely but the fear comes when I'm with a girl. I find it hard to erect caz my whole body is in fear and I can later get orgasm and as we do, fear goes away. I've been dating about 5 girls since I started my love life but only 2 of them I managed to have sex with them. Now Im dating another girl but we have not done sex yet. Please anyone can help me get rid of my fear with any assistance because I find it difficult and embarasing to live in relationship life and I really want to make my girl proud of me.
ERNNY

Hi
Have you tried talking to a counsellor / sex therapist? This is quite a common problem one that my current partner had when we first tried to make love. If you don't want to approach a therapist you must talk to your girl. Have you already brought this issue up? Has she offered to help? If she has you may want to start with mutual masturbation if she is happy with that. You'd have the real girl in the room but she wouldn't be touching you and you wouldn't need to be worried about touching and pleasing her. Also we had a few nights where he would lay down and I would just work on him and relax him all night.

It sounds as if you have the beginnings of a phobia. DO see a doctor and talk about this, or you will have NO sex life.