On June 1, 2009 the paternal grandparents of my son filed an emergency hearing to take my son away from me, stating that my other son was making him afraid to live with me. My oldest child the one who was basically stolen from me, his father committed suicide 2 years ago in May, I got permanent care, custody and control of the minor child.

I have been fighting the paternal grandparents for the last year they tried to get custody of my son by trying to prove me unfit, they lost, so they then go for grandparental visitation, which I don't see how they got because I was already giving them visitation, The District Court Judge ordered us to go to mediation, we had come to an agreement that they would get him every other weekend and one week in the summer, but that I would retain custody of my son. We also agreed that holidays would rotate. They are basically getting the visitation his father would have if he were alive, which has caused a major stress on the entire family.

Brandon, my son the eldest lied to a judge, lied in an affidavit saying that my other son Trent had threatened to "stab him in the heart." Earlier that day Brandon had pushed Trent to this point, he had called Trent a "psycho who deserved to be in jail." Trenton has mental problems, which have yet to be determined, they do not want to place a diagnosis and a possible wrong one on a child who is only 12 years old. Brandon is 15, and claims to be "afraid" Brandon is bigger, stronger, and could have hurt Trent, but Trent resorted to throwing a chair at the kitchen counter breaking the cupboard door, and saying that he was going to "kill himself" never that he would kill my son or my son's 18 year old cousin who was here with us at the time. The cousin who is 4x the size of my Son who was acting out.. claimed to be "afraid."

I had to call the police to come help me with my son because I could not get my son under control because Brandon had nearly pushed him to the brink of insanity, I suffer from a few illnesses Fibromyalgia, anxiety, depression, possible MS and a few others which makes things difficult for me.

They are also claiming that I am a "pill popper" and that my illnesses are "fabricated." Oh and we cannot forget "exotic" Brandon's admission in his affidavit were all fabricated and so were his grandparents. I have had custody of Brandon this entire time, was given Brandon the night his father died by HHS. I feel what they are doing is dirty and grasping at straws to try and find a way to get my son away from me. The night Curt died his father told my son (and I heard this with my own ears) "he thought he was losing you too, so he gave up" This statement caused Brandon to blame him to be the reason that Curt committed suicide. His grandmother made the statement that "Brandon was going to have to replace Curt, that Brandon was her new Curt."

I took all the necessary steps to create a safe environment for Brandon to return to, he bold face lied on his affidavit and so did his grandparents, I have no idea what they promised Brandon to do this. The lawyer that the grandparents have failed to mention that I had been awarded custody, that the grandparents had agreed to me having custody of my son, and that my son would remain in my custody.. and that they were only striking out of spite, grasping at straws to get him away from me.. they even had my son call me to brag that I had lost custody of my son, because they were awarded guardianship under false pretenses. I was wondering what to do now, I cannot afford a lawyer due to the fact I cannot work due to my illnesses, and we only have my husband's income. I filed a motion to vacate pro se and now I am wondering what to do next, and if I can get an emergency hearing to gain my son back into my care. What else can I do to get my son back where he belongs? They are so unfit to care for him, and this is killing me it feels as if my heart has been ripped from my chest stomped on by an entire family and then told to wait until the court hearing in a few weeks. I am just so worried... HELP ME PLEASE!

I've been on his side of things. I needed my aunt and uncle to take guardianship of me. So I'm going to give you a different perspective. What you perceive your sons home life to be like and what he perceives it to be can be totally different things. I'm not saying you are any of the things that have been stated. I don't know you, for all I know you are a great mother. But here's the thing- that's not how your son seems to be feeling right now. And if you keep fighting to make him stay you could ultimately drive a huge wedge into your relationship. My mother thought she was just the best. Every time we went to court she claimed to have no idea what we were talking about when we brought up all the times she had left her alcohol out for my baby siblings to be able to reach (maybe she really din't remember. I suppose it would be hard to remember when you were were drunk you passed out on a regular basis). Although her reasoning was that she didn't drink. Even though the fact was we'd all seen her pop pills with a swig of her drink of the night. And she claimed to have no idea what we were talking about when we accused her of staying out all hours of the night with all of us kids home all alone (even though she'd take plenty of pictures of her out with her friends). Again, I'm not saying you are a bad mother. My mother was diagnosed with a bordeline personality disorder. So maybe she's an extreme example. But the point I want to make with you is that sometimes you just have to stop fighting things. My mother didn't. She never has. She finally agreed to the guardianship but she wouldn't follow all of it and would still continue to harass me to the point my lawyer threatened her with a restraining order. If she had just been able to stop fighting with everyone there's a very real chance we might have been able to mend out relationship. But she can't do that. Part of that is her personality disorder. But even realizing that I still can't mend our relationship because she still makes the choice not to seek help for her problems. So, as hard as it may be for you, you should really consider saying, "ok. fine. have guardianship. but i want x amount of visitation and etc..." and I can totally see how the holidays can be a strain how they are now, maybe you can share the holidays, everyone celebrates all together? All of the fighting amongst adults can have a very negative impact on your children. I can't imagine you would want that.

I do not want to hurt my son by constantly fighting over him, I never started this action, I legally got custody of my son when his father died, HIS parents couldn't handle the fact that they lost their son... so they decided to take mine, they have two other children by the same son, but they want nothing to do with the other two children! JUST MY son! I don't know why they want him so badly, heck when I got pregnant at 17, they tried and tried and tried to make me have an abortion. I don't believe in abortion, never have and only believe in it in certain circumstances... but that is neither here or there... my point is this, I have NEVER done anything that I thought was not in Brandon's best interest.

I love my son, and the grandparents are not looking for his best interest, they are looking for possession of my son. THEY are the alcoholics, they are the ones endangering my sons life! They drink and drive and hell while Brandon was in their care, they were road hunting, (which is illegal) and Brandon went to fire at a deer and blew a hole in the floor of his grandpas truck, they allowed Brandon to go fishing with his uncle who was supposed to be in jail, but was out on "work release" but he took Brandon fishing, he was in jail for a DUI, second offense.

My son is in more chance of harm being with them, than he is here! I have done everything to provide my son a safe place to live with as little problems as possible, his grandparents are the ones who are destroying his life, and helping him do it, by lying under oath. I just want him to be safe and I know hie is NOT safe with them!

wow. That info changes my view here. Does the court know about those things? This may really be more of a case of "its more fun there." sort of thing. See if you can get the court to order therapy for everyone. Group and one on one sessions. This will do two things. 1)provide a neutral setting for everyone to discuss things with a neutral mediator in case things get heated and 2) therapists recommendations can be very helpful in court. Since you can't afford an attorney this could be especially helpful to you if you can get a therapist's letter saying that they've talked with everyone and they believe it's in your son's best interest if x,y,z is ordered. The judge may not follow all of the advice but it will most likely be a determining factor in his/her decision. From what you've said it sounds like yes, your son is best off with you. But it sounds like your family has some things you all need to work though together. You've all been through a lot now.

The bottom line is your going to need to provide to the courts proof of what your saying and not just come off as someone being bitter. Another thing is that unless they are a clear and present danger to your child then I don't see a change in custody until such a time as you gain control over your other son. If your already having medical problems and your son is having episodes that invole the police it's a bad mix to start with. You really need to consider all the angles.