My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. She is 25 and I am 27. She asked for a break about 2 months ago. But we still kept in touch, and I did everything I could to win her back. We were still talking and I helped her with her new home and everything and that weekend she took off to New York. She told me that it was just with coworkers, and that its not with a new guy or anything. But everything failed so I backed off and did NC.

After NC, she came kept trying to call me and get in touch with me. After awhile I gave in and agreed to meet with her. She hugged and kissed me and asked for a second chance. I told her that I still love her and we can try and work it out. But here is the caught, I asked her if she was seeing anyone and if she took of NY with another guy. She said no and we made up a few times that night.

In the morning, I came across her journal. I just had to read it... She wrote that she did go a trip with "MR". And that he told her that he loved her but it was just getting to serious too quick for her. I was super upset so I confronted her. She said that it was just creative writing... o.O We fought for a bit and decided that we would give it another try.

I got home and started to really think... It dawned on me the initials of this mystery person. It was a doctor at the hospital that she was working at until she was fired for suspected misconduct around that doctor. Here is the thing that got me sick to my stomach, HE is 20 years older than her and he has a family with 5 CHILDREN!

So, I don't know what to think... if she is lying or if she is telling the truth.

Listen to your gut instinct, it serves you well. You know the truth already. She's lying to you. Don't play second best to her, you know that you deserve the best. Let her stew in her own deciet for awhile, don't contact her (I know how hard that is to do). But if she fears losing you for good maybe that is the wake up call she needs. All the best lovley man

I really want to make it knew to her family that she is really having an affair with that guy. She is still telling her family that we are still together. I really want to burn this bridge down and piss on it.

Hi Lost,

Was her misconduct that they had an affair? If so, she's probably lying. "Creative writing" doesn't fly.

If she is dancing between you and the good doctor, and if you really love her, you would be wise to suspend your role as boyfriend (no sex, no dates, no plans, no commitment for a while) and switch to just "very caring friends" (lots of listening and understanding; room for her to do the struggling she needs to do, and insisting on the truth all the time and both ways). Then, she can figure herself out and you can grow. A few weeks of that, and she will see herself and you more clearly. Being such a friend will take big huevos on your part, plus some genuine compassion for both her and you.

Suspending your boyfriend status provides as way to determine whether you are "in" or "out" without going through all the outrage, fighting, and justification that most people do when they flirt with breaking up. Having already given up the BF role, you will be free to be more objective and resourceful in figuring out what to do. If she wants to be with you, and is ready to stop having affairs, you both will know. If not, you will know that, too.

Either your relationship will end or you will establish a gentle, yet fierce trust that most guys don't even imagine. It's usually worth it.

Tao

I know exactly what you are saying. I myself are in a difficult relationship, with a man who doesn't seem to appreciate the good natured loving woman I am. Isn't it so dam hard to break the emotional tie with someone you love heart and soul. You deserve only the best even though you prob can't see the wood from the trees when in love. Stand tall in the fact that you are a great man that has loads to offer the world and others. If you know your true worth show it to the world proudly. When she sees you chomping away at a life with her not included only then will she know what a self obsessed lier feels like. She will find it hard to live with the web of deciet she's created for herself.

I really want to make it knew to her family that she is really having an affair with that guy. She is still telling her family that we are still together. I really want to burn this bridge down and piss on it.

Anything negative you do will be toxic to you. If she's messed up, and that's the whole story, she will pay in every relationship that occurs in her lifetime until she gets it and upgrades her behavior. Living deviously, she will suffer more than you might want to believe.

Don't try to salvage anything with her or to gain justice. Just go for the truth; the rest will take care of itself.

Tao

I am in so much pain right now.. I was moving on just fine then she calls me up after all of this because she didn't think it was going to work with the affair or scared of losing me.

I am not sure of the reason for her getting fired, but they told me that a nurse reported that they were not acting right in a hospital setting.

I don't think I can be that caring friend because of the history we have had together. And how she can just lie to my face and looking into my eyes.

I told her up front that I am NOT her safety, and if she had any hook ups with anyone just let me know. I know that we are still young and she wants to test the water a bit. SO I told just let me know and we can work through this. And that I hate being lied to. She reassured me that there was no one... BUT words are just words.
But if she sleep with someone else then that is a deal sealer for me. That just shows that she had no respect for me or herself for that matter.

We had amazing make up sex and she let me try stuff that she didn't let me before. So that kinds of lets me that that she was messing around because she is more open sexually now.


I am pretty clsoe to her family and it hurts me to think that she is using me to have an affair... so she can hide it from her family.

I just want to drive and talk to her family and tell them that./ We have broken up over 2 months ago but I still helped her because I loved her. But she was only using me to move, cover for her actions, and that she went on a trip with him, and that he is a married man with kids. I know that her parents and family would not approve of her affair.

Don't try to salvage anything with her or to gain justice. Just go for the truth; the rest will take care of itself.

tao


I just feel so much pain that I want to bring to the light some of the things she did, I don't think it is fair to the doctor's wife and children.

What kind of man with children and a wife at home goes out and has an affair? I just don't understand these type of people... so heartless and no ethnics...

I am in so much pain right now...

I dont think I can be that caring friend because of the history we have had together.
...
I am pretty clsoe to her family and it hurts me to think that she is using me to have an affair... so she can hide it from her family.
...
I just want to drive and talk to her family and tell them that./ We have broken up over 2 months ago but I still helped her because I loved her. But she was only using me to move, cover for her actions, and that she went on a trip with him, and that he is a married man with kids. I know that her parents and family would not approve of her affair.

OK. Your pain is so great that you can't be her caring friend right now. Recovering from that will take time. Just don't make it worse. If and when you feel strong enough, within yourself, let it all go.

While it's understandable for you to think about it, recruiting her parents by busting her to them is revenge. That will backfire.

You still might end up with this girl. She's been really dumb, but there is still energy between you. So, be discrete, think, process your emotions, face the reality. Let yourself grow from this, instead of getting twisted into knots.

Thanks for the advice.. I feel so knotted right now because we said that we would get it another try and I would like it go.. but I don't think she is giving it her all.

Somewhere inside, I just want to get that revenge and burn down then bridge...

I told her to NOT to contact me unless she wants something more than just friends. And all of this comes about... Just so tired of being lied to.

i just feel so much pain that I want to bring to the light some of the things she did, I don't think it is fair to the doctor's wife and children.

What kind of man with children and a wife at home goes out and has an affair? I just don't understand these type of people...so heartless and no ethnics...

This is about you hurting. So you want her to feel the same pain as you.(trust me I've been there). But this could backfire against you. You will just look like a total tool for doing it. And it's only going to turn her against you. Cause more drama for yourself. I mean if you really want to burn a bridge that's what you would be doing.

You... I just want to her hurt like she hurt me... all of my friends are telling me not to because it probably won't help... I have known her for 7 years and I did not think she was this type of person.

I just feel used because I helped her and so that she can run off with the married guy.. that is so wrong on so many levels...

ya... i jsut want to her hurt like she hurt me... all of my friends are telling me not to because it probably won't help... i have known her for 7 years and I did not think she was this type of person.

I just feel used because I helped her and so that she can run off with the married guy.. that is so wrong on so many levels...

Yeah man I've been here a few times. You invest time and money. And emotion into someone for them to end up hurting you. It's normal to feel like they should hurt for hurting you. But the thing is. You would just be giving them all the power. They will know they can just use you. And yes people always after a relationship tend to do things they said the never would.

I know how it feels to be used. But the thing is if they did use you then they disrespected themselves. They ended up cheating themselves and not getting everything they could have from the relationship.

I just talked to her.. it has been confirmed that she did have an affair with the married doctor.. and she believed everything that he was telling her..

"i love you." "never cheated on my wife before.." blah blah blah

i just talked to her.. it has been confirmed that she did have an affair with the married doctor.. and she believed everything that he was telling her..

"i love you." "never cheated on my wife before.." blah blah blah

So she got used while using you...

You... I have her on recording telling all about her affair. I want to contact that guy's wife and let her know.

ya... i have her on recording telling all about her affair. I want to contact that guy's wife and let her know.

Your just making a huge mess. I understand you want her to hurt like she hurt you. But your going to mess with many more people. Your going to be mad out to be the bad guy in all of this. You'll not only have the girl mad at you but the guy. And his wife and his kids. You might want to consider walking away. Let karma take care of them. It's really not your place now.

I am debating if I should contact that guy's wife and tell her about this...

i am debating if I should contact that guy's wife and tell her about this...

I understand completely. Trust me. I could get revenge against pretty much every ex I have. But is it the right thing to do. I just don't know if I could live with myself if I got revenge. Besides I'd rather be looked back on fondly rather than the a**hole who caused them world of hurt.

Your just making a huge mess. I understand you want her to hurt like she hurt you. But your gonna mess with many more people. Your going to be mad out to be the bad guy in all of this. You'll not only have the girl mad at you but the guy. And his wife and his kids. You might want to consider walking away. Let karma take care of them. It's really not your place now.

Listen to Lonely. You are wallowing in thoughts and emotions that can only do harm. Whatever she has done, she didn't do it to hurt you. Her mistakes are hers to deal with. You are now your problem.

Take pause then take a good look at yourself. Stand up and move on with your life! If you still can't and believe yourself stuck, get it out in therapy. But whatever you do, get out of this toxic loop.

Tao

Stop talking to her because this is adding to the torture your already doing to yourself.

Move on and let her go. You owe her nothing and neither does you. She have her own life to live and so do you. If she wants to run around with a married man than let her because she is going reap what she sow. Karma will catch up to her.

You still have life in you and I know break-ups aren't easy but believe me you will survive and behind every dark cloud is a rainbow waiting to appear. You can do it but you have to want to.

I want to believe in karma... but I think it's the right thing to do.. (might be the anger)... but you don't think his wife deserves the right to know that that kind of man she has at home?

i want to believe in karma... but I think its the right thing to do.. (might be the anger)... but you don't think his wife deserves the right to know that that kind of man she has at home?

It's not your place to hurt the guys wife though. And maybe she already know's what kind of husband she has. Your best bet is to just move on with your own life.

I think its my right her hurt the guy that hurt me...

You don't know what is going on in their household and I think you should wash your hands and move on.

Yes, if my husband cheated on me I would want to be inform but I guarantees she knows something is up and pays it no mind and deals with it for whatever reasons. Or she might be in denial.

If she doesn't knows then she needs to wise up and wake up because everyone knows their partner is up to no good. It is called instincts.

However, you shouldn't dwell on it and should move on.

i think its my right her hurt the guy that hurt me...

I know you feel that way. But you know. She made her choice to be with that guy. She's the one that cheated on you. Maybe that guy didn't know about you. Either way this will just keep going around in a big messy circle. Where does the hurting one another stop. Karma will smack you in the face for hurting them again and again.

I know that guy and he knows me... he is 45-50 years old that is at least 20 years older than her... I'm sick just thinking about this

I want to be the bigger person and let it go.. but I think she is such a ty person and been feeding me all of this bs...

While your anger, and frustration is understandable, don't let them make you act a fool, and regret it later.

No excuse for being immature, but you do need to get her out of your life until you have much better control over your self and the emotional dust has settled.

NO MORE EXCUSES, just disappear from her life.

So everyone really thinks that his family doesn't deserve to know that he is a cheater? I don't think that is fair to his family.

so everyone really thinks that his family doesn't deserve to know that he is a cheater? i don't think that is fair to his family.

It's not that. It's we are trying to give you advice for yourself. Not for anyone else. It doesn't matter if it's fair or not. I'm not the judge. We are just trying to tell you how to move on. Playing this game will not help you move on but prolong the suffering of a lot of people.

Lashing out in anger and frustration makes you as wrong as her, and him, NO GOOD COMES OF THAT!

So I should just let him get away with this?

so i should just let him get away with this?

It's not your place to punish him. Right now you need to worry about yourself. Trust me dude. I know how it is to want revenge. But no good will come of this. Go out of this relationship as a man. Not as a punk. Stop waisting time trying to get revenge. And go NC and start your healing.


I know your hurting and you see this as a way to make them all hurt just like you. But is that how you want to be remembered. Do the right thing and walk...

so i should just let him get away with this?

Your not letting him get away with anything but you need to let it go instead of holding on this anger and frustration that is building up inside of you. Otherwise your going let it eat you up and it you won't be able heal nor move on.

So let it go and don't get yourself caught up in the drama.

Its hard to let go... some where in my mind, it seems like if I don't tell his wife... then its another thing on my conscience

its hard to let go... some where in my mind, it seems like if i don't tell his wife... then its another thing on my conscience

Well why don't you try this then. Wait two months and see if you still care about hurting them so much. Right now your in a huge storm of emotion. You need to get away from it to think clearly. Revisit it in two. And if you still feel that you need to tell his wife. For her sake alone. Not to hurt the guy or your ex. Then maybe you can. But you really need to just take some time and get away from the drama.

so i should just let him get away with this?


You should get yourself under control and disappear from her life.

its hard to let go... some where in my mind, it seems like if i don't tell his wife... then its another thing on my conscience

No, that's not what's going on. You want to tell his wife in order to bust the man you are angry with. You'll only end up hurting his wife and kids, but apparently that won't weigh on your conscience, will it? Leave it alone.

I know you guys are right... but I just want to burn it all down then walk away... because Idk if I can be that bigger person. They are so heartless, it feels like they stole my soul from me. Without a soul, wth should I care what they think... maybe after I burn everything down I can move on. Because there is nothing else I can do.

Right now, I have so many options. If I burn it all down I won't have anymore options, but to move on. I know if I let everyone know what a shady person she is, then she will never come back to me. That might be what I need.

Sigh... just like my sn: totally lost

Eff it... I'm going to just destroy everything.. I don't care anymore.. I still so empty and black inside...

i know you guys are right... but i just want to burn it all down then walk away... because Idk if I can be that bigger person. They are so heartless, it feels like they stole my soul from me. Without a soul, wth should i care what they think... maybe after I burn everything down I can move on. Because there is nothing else I can do.

Right now, I have so many options. If I burn it all down I wont have anymore options, but to move on. I know if I let everyone know what a shady person she is, then she will never come back to me. That might be what I need.

sigh...just like my sn: totally lost

Aww your not alone in feeling that way. I'm dealing with that right now. But you can burn the bridge without actually setting fire to it. Just do it in your mind. IF that is how that girl is she's probably going to do it again to someone else. Even if you teach her a lesson with you. She'll prob do it to some other guy.

Just burn the bridge down in your mind. Tell yourself she isn't worth the effort. And why should you help her out by teaching her a lesson. Let her learn the hard way. The best revenge is for you to truly find happiness. Let her bounce from guy to guy. She'll never be happy that way. But right here right now you can make the choice to be a man. Learn to let it go and walk. It'll server you far better down the road.

I have always been about the action. I just got kicked in the balls, and all I'm going to do is get up and walk away...

i have always been about the action. i just got kicked in the balls, and all im going to do is get up and walk away...

Right!! Man get up laugh in there face and walk off. The action is saying you silly fools you can't hurt me. Nice try but I got better things to do.

Real MEN take the right actions, at the right time, because it needs to be done. Not because his balls are hurtng!

She warned him that I would tell his wife.. so I guess there is nothing I can do anyway.

Real MEN take the right actions, at the right time, because it needs to be done. Not because his balls are hurtng!

Yes! I had to spread the rep around before I could grant you more, Tal...

she warned him that i would tell his wife.. so I guess there is nothing i can do anyways.

Right hopefully that's good enough for you. Now lets move onto you healing.

she warned him that i would tell his wife.. so I guess there is nothing i can do anyways.

I've been out of this conversation for a while, and just picked up your thread. If I can offer a thought, it seems that a big part of your issue is power. You lost power when she took the initiative to leave. She took that decision away by making it. If you feel, and it sounds like you feel, like evening the score, "burning it all down," taking action, exposing her, will that ease your pain and make you more powerful?

If so, does that power express itself as control? Do you think about controlling the situation? How much destruction will it take for you to regain a sense of control? Once you have it, what will you do with it? What do you really want to do with it?

If taking action won't give you power, though, what will it give you? Once you get that, what happens next?

And, in all of this, who pays?

I just don't know anymore what I want or need... I just don't know... I "lost my soul to a woman so heartless..."

I just need to find my way to heal... I told her that I will let it all go, if she wants to work with it.. but its doesn't matter.. she is so heartless and selfish.. I just don't know what I'm thinking...

You deserve to know the truth not from anyone else but from her.

I think you are right that I have no control over anything...

What should I do with all the stuff? I just want to burn or trash it all.. because I know that this will never be again...

what should I do with all the stuff? i just want to burn or trash it all.. because I know that this will never be again...

Do what every you want to with it. But just get it away from you. Box it up stick it somewhere. Burn it if it will make you feel better. Send her crap back. Do whatever it takes.

I don't know why I'm taking this so hard, when she wronged me so badly... its like I'm in an abusive relationship but can't get away from it.. wth... I think that someone is a physical abusive relationship should just get up and leave... but look at me I'm in a mentally abusive relationship but I can't move from this...

You can move from this. You just have to make up your mind and do it.

Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right said Henry Ford.

If you think you can't get past it then you won't. You have to be positive and decide that you are getting past it!

Here's what to do about her stuff


1. Go get 2 30 packs of beer
2. Call over a few friends
3. Build a fire pit
4. Burn her sh!t
5. Drink beers around her burning sh!t with your buddies

i think you are right that I have no control over anything...

You have no control over her, but you can manage yourself better by exercising your choices (control is a misunderstood word) whether to hang on and suffer or let go and feel empty but free.

In that empty place you can find stillness, quiet, maybe not yet peace, but something better than the churning and turning you are going through.

Bottom line: let the tears flow and then be done. If you can't, put in some quality time with a therapist. There could be lots of growth in you as a result of this experience.

Know that you will recover.

Tao

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
-Leonard Cohen, musician (1934- )

Thanks.. I have all the photos and stuff animals and other stuff she has given me... we are have a bonfire at the beach on the 27th... maybe I should just burn it all there..

DO IT! My cousin(in the ARMY) told me every soldier has a "burn box" which is filled with stuff no one else sees except for him and his platoon. So he told me, treat it the same way. You wouldn't want you new girlfriend to find stuffed animals and pictures of you kissing your ex. Burn it all, and have a good time with it. I know I did

thanks.. i have all the photos and stuff animals and other stuff she has given me... we are have a bonfire at the beach on the 27th... maybe i should just burn it all there..

Sounds like a good plan.

Sigh... this sucks

Read my signature, I've been where you are. It does suck, but its better. A lot better

I remember when my friend (before going to the army) we did the same thing... just the memories, 7 years... I have a small lock box of pictures of my past ex.. maybe ill just throw one picture in there and burn the rest...

Should I give it back to her? The albums and stuff? I want to just burn it all but I don't know if I'm going to regret it..

Nope, it's pictures. Save a few, put them in a box and tuck it away. Get rid of the rest, if she wanted them, she would have asked

Bonfire it is.. stuff animals OK to burn? Don't want to die from the smell lol

Yep they are good, and funny to burn actually. Or if it's legal, buy some fireworks

Not in cali... 3 weeks from now.. so far...

I forgot to add what happened yesterday... her parents love me.. so I went to say thanks and goodbye because I could not do this anymore...

My ex called me and told me that we can work on this for my sake.. and that she is just trying to find herself.

But after she talked to her family, she called me text me back that she is sorry and won't be trying to work this out anymore. That she isn't happy and can't or won't be able to forgive herself even if I was able to. I told her if she had that much so say then she should have said it in person and not over text. That I thought I deserve more respect then a text for our 7 years together...

Such a coward, I don't know why but I expected more than that.. but after all it is coming from a lying cheater.. I need to some how get that through my head and move on...

i forgot to add what happened yesterday... her parents love me.. so i went to say thanks and goodbye because I could not do this anymore...

my ex called me and told me that we can work on this for my sake.. and that she is just trying to find herself.

but after she talked to her family, she called me text me back that she is sorry and won't be trying to work this out anymore. That she isn't happy and can't or won't be able to forgive herself even if I was able to. I told her if she had that much so say then she should have said it in person and not over text. That I thought I deserve more respect then a text for our 7 years together...

Such a coward, i don't know why but I expected more than that.. but after all it is coming from a lying cheater.. I need to some how get that through my head and move on...

Yeah man just keep that in your head. That's what I tell myself. That I deserved more than a breakup I'm. If someone can treat me that way I'm better off. I don't like cowards I deserved better.

You I'm trying to tell myself that.. I should force myself to see this (talk into the mirror or something lol).

And tell myself this.
"I am worth it to be happy with or without this person in my life. I need to live for me and not for them or anyone else because they are doing it for themselves."

ya im trying to tell myself that.. i should force myself to see this (talk into the mirror or something lol).

And tell myself this.
"I am worth it to be happy with or without this person in my life. I need to live for me and not for them or anyone else because they are doing it for themselves."

Well you do deserve to be happy. But you got to learn what truly makes you happy by yourself. Only you can make yourself happy. You can't expect or depends on someone else to do that for you. Once you know how to make yourself happy. Then relationships add to that but are not the sole foundation of it.

thanks.. i have all the photos and stuff animals and other stuff she has given me... we are have a bonfire at the beach on the 27th... maybe i should just burn it all there..

In India, they have a ceremony called a puja. They put symbolic objects into a fire and release their attachment to them.

Just a thought...

Tao

I hope that is true because its all going in the flames

i hope that is true because its all going in the flames

Good for you. At least you'll be able to stay warm and entertain some friends around it.

The bonfire will be a great healing experience. I've done it and it was sooo fun.

Your pain is very fresh, so how you're feeling is natural.

You want to walk out of this with your head held high. Like Lonely said, be the man; walk away and be happy. Your happiness, without her, is the best revenge.

Got to put my two cents in about your need to tell the wife: DON'T. She probably either already knows and is struggling with it or she knows and doesn't care. Maybe they have an open marriage. Maybe she stays with him for the money. Who knows and who cares. It's not your problem, so don't make it a problem. Just stay out. You don't want to wind up being a witness in divorce court!

Trust me, those two will crash and burn on their own. Do you really think your ex is going to want him forever? You know she's not the only one he's cheated with. Your ex will learn the hard way. It's the path she's on.

You're going down a different path, without her, where new and exciting things await you!

You mourn your loss and heal and after the pain subsides, you will start to feel excitement, adventurous. The unknown can make us anxious, but it's all in your attitude. Look forward to your future and who and what will be in it!!

Dude.. I think I scared off their relationship. Because she told him it was done and over. And he wanted to end it too because he found out that I know. I should have left it alone that they can both suffer in the end. But instead, I helped her learn a lesson. And he gets off.. Life works in a funny way...

Now that I think about it.. I was in the ER a few weeks back and he was rough with my nuts... I told her but she didn't say anything. Because I did not know that they had an affair. So I did not think of it... Debating if I should just file a complaint. Because that is not ethnically to examine the boyfriend of the person you are cheating with.. I don't know.

Such a debate... self-conflict is a witch.. I want to report him for this but at the same time, I think I should walk from this.

The irony of this, my ex from before this one (2years) is back. I think she wants another go, but I don't think I'm ready for any relationship at this point. Its weird how this works out. 8 years from the time we last dated, and she is back... I guess girls to realize what they once had when its gone.

Here is my blog story.. randomness... (http://fiez-vous-en-moi.blogspot.com/) I changed some of the numbers and location..

If you file a complaint now it will just look like your trying to hurt that guy again. I say just let it go.

Sometimes people do tend to come back to what is familiar to them. But not always. But who really know's. Just be careful about the ex combing back to you.

You.. but how is that ethical? I'm actually getting upset thinking about it. He should have told some other doctor to examine me...

ya.. but how is that ethical? im actually getting upset thinking about it. He should have told some other doctor to examine me...

It's not ethical. But what can you do but stir up a hornets nest of crap. I just think you would be better off just forgetting all of this crap. And work on moving on. If you bring up charges or whatever your just prolonging contact with him and your ex in some ways.

I'm going to say it like this. So what if the guy cheated on his wife. He didn't cheat on you. Your ex should be the one your mad at. She's the one who made the choice to hurt you. She fell for the crap he was feeding her. If he actually was. Or she just did it because she wanted to.

I'm not going to sue or anything. I just want to bring it to the attention of the hospital. Such an unethical doctor, how is that good for the hospital?

Maybe this is his karma. Me telling the hospital about the situation.

I'm not going to sue or anything. I just want to bring it to the attention of the hospital. Such an unethical doctor, how is that good for the hospital?

Maybe this is his karma. Me telling the hospital about the situation.

It's up to your of course. But it just seems like it could prolong your involvement in this drama.

You its up to me... but I don't know

Its done.. called the hotline, and its done

I think you are right.. I feel the same emptiness... now I know, moving on is the key.. eff everything that has to do with this drama.. at least this help me know that I SHOULD NOT do anything else... and just let this end the way it did.

Thanks everyone for the advice and support.. it is going to be a hard long journey..

Going to burn everything tonight before I chicken out.. any music suggestions?

Anything hard rock! No love sick songs

I nominate Daughtry's new single "No Surprise" or "Over You"

Still sounds lovesick like

Gives you hell by American rejects

Hi there, keep us updated after u had the nice warm "camp fire " there...

How about... plain white t's-hate.. still a little love sick

I should make a vid to this YouTube - Love Stinks - Wedding Singer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhRMeiyret0)

Taproot poem helped me along time ago

Boo... my neighbor didn't come home so I can't get the firepit

I am having a hard time again. My friends don't understand why I am so emotional. *sigh* I wear my emotions on my shelves.. what can I say or do? =(

Just wanted to add this song.

YouTube - Apocalyptica featuring Adam Gontier of Three Days Grace - I Don't Care (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu9uxGP5nL0)

I have a problem. Now that my emotions are a little more under control. I want to really walk from this as the bigger person and just let things be.

But here is the issue, my best friend that has been helping me knows everything. I told him not to say anything, but we have a circle of friends. I don't want the rumors to going but I think its too late.. How do I tell them all to be quiet? It is crazy what one person can tell a bunch of other people. I understand that my best friend is mad for me.

How can I walk a way the bigger person when the news is starting to spread?

You can ask them to stop talking about it, but in the long run, you can't control gossip.

Don't let rumors control your thoughts, or actions. which means control yourself, because you can't control what others say or do.

That's something you especially need to remember, as you do things on impulse, when you don't. Think before you act, thats how you are the bigger person.

If you let them control you, that motivates them to keep pushing your buttons, so they can make more rumors by your reactions.

That's only ONE consequence of impulsive behavior. You make yourself a target for bad, selfish behavior.

So pretty much don't do anything at all? After I told my friend, he told me not to worry because I will always be the bigger person. For me not to feel guilty because I was in such a bad spot... She did the sins, so she should live with what comes her way...

The mornings are sooooo hard. I go to sleep with my mind on something else but when I wake up... This is all I can think of, her...

I have mornings like that too. ALmost every morning. It will hopefully pass in time.

It is like every morning for me.. I go to sleep thinking will be a better day... but it has been a nightmare

It feels like an addiction... and I am going through withdrawal

That's a healthy way of looking at it. That's why no contact is so important, so you can kick your habit.

I suggest a busy routine in the mornings, that calls for action, and not laying around dwelling .

That's what will slowly change your mind, by replacing old thoughts, with new ones.

Woke up feeling like a nightmare again. Then I checked my email.

My ex sent me an email saying: she doesn't know what to say anymore, and that she changed her number. If I needed anything to email her. And she is sorry. And for me to listen to Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" because it sums up the way she feels.

GRRR..? How am I suppose to take that? I was going to respond, but I think I should just let it be.

Let it be. She's being dramatic. And stupid. Ignore it.

I would vanish from her life, that includes emails. Matter of fact, mark her address for SPAM.

You... I don't know why she would do what she did... my friend that is a girl said that my ex just wants to keep me emotionally attached so she can have her fun with other guy.

My ex messed up my morning, I ready woke up feeling poopy and she made it worst.

I wanted to mess with her and dump the stuff animals and cards at her house. But it probably is not worth the trouble.

Here is the emotions that I go through the day...

Morning I wake up sad and upset that I am not with my ex for all the things so has done to me.

Afternoon.. better...
Evening.. starting to forget the bad things she has done and just miss her
Night.. miss her but thinking of a better day.

Its starts all over the next morning...

Her sister just called me demanding the guys address... I guess she found out..

Big mistake... I emailed her to ask her if she was OK... but got no response.

I am thinking about changing my number but I am looking for work so I do not if that is a good idea.

Who did you email the ex? Or her sister.

Emailed the ex

11 pages, 11 darn pages of advice on not contacting her. After all she did to you, you're worried about if SHE'S okay?

When are you going to want to move away from the kick of the horse?

big mistake... i emailed her to ask her if she was ok... but got no response.

I am thinking about changing my number but I am looking for work so I do not if that is a good idea.

It wasn't a good idea to email the ex, If she didn't respond, why change your number. Start No Contact again, just do better this time. Again, your failing to think before you act. That's where you need your attention, not on her.

You.. she called me with a blocked number today, I didn't know and picked up. She called to yell at me because, word traveled back to her that people know what happened.

For some reason, I did not yell back at her. She was speaking with no remorse or anything.. Stone-cold. I was going to say, "if you did not mess up then there would not be anything to talk about." But I didn't, don't know why. I am usually full of emotions and act on impulse... I just hung up after.

Not sure if I was too hurt or just don't care as much at this point. Her hateful words did not seem to bother me as much. Still hurt but whatevers.

I just need to take my own advice, I know

ya.. she called me with a blocked number today, I didnt know and picked up. She called to yell at me because, word traveled back to her that people know what happened.

For some reason, I did not yell back at her. She was speaking with no remorse or anything.. Stone-cold. I was going to say, "if you did not mess up then there would not be anything to talk about." But I didn't, don't know why. I am usually full of emotions and act on impulse... I just hung up after.

Not sure if I was too hurt or just don't care as much at this point. Her hateful words did not seem to bother me as much. Still hurt but whatevers.

Her anger shouldn't surprise you. A few pages back, you wanted to burn it all down, remember? You wanted everyone to know what happened, and you made certain they did.

Well you got what you wanted, revenge, that should make you happy!

The old saying Tal, as soon as you got it, you want something else.

The whole time he wanted to tell everyone about the doctor and his ex, now he got it and is not happy.

Lol.. I decided that I wasn't going to do it. I admit that I was VERY emotional at that point. But like you guys said, I walk away and let it be and I did NOT say anything to the wife or her family.

I did not tell everyone. I had a best friend that I confined in. I told him to be quiet, he did the first time she cheated. So I thought this time would be the same.

I was really upset before, but I think it was more disappointment. I took the advice on here and did NOT spread anything! I just want to make it clear. I was emotional and wanted to mess everyone up before, but I took the advice from you guys and let it be and cool down. Which I am very glad I did. Thanks. I am happy that I did not action on those emotions.

Her sister found out but not from me. It was from the night that he was over at her apartment and her family came. Her sister knew something was up. And how the doctor was always around. I did NOT tell her sister, anything that's why I was surprised.

I was feeling down and emotional before but I told myself to give it time and not say anything. If I was looking for revenge I would have told her family and friends, and anyone that wanted to listen. I did not do that. I only talked to my best friend for advice and someone to lean on. *sigh* I was the victim in this but it is coming out as if I am vindictive when I am not at all.. . =/

I tell everyone else that NC is the way to go but I am have a battle with thinking vs. feeling. After all this was a 7 yr relationship that was like a marriage. It is hard as is, and I have other problems that I am dealing with... So please understand, I was upset at first and wanted an outlet. But like you guys said the emotions is slowly passing.


I loaned her a pretty large amount of money. I was hoping to get back. But I don't think she will pay me back so, I probably shouldn't ask.

I hope I didn't come off as a jerk or anything... I am just so mentally tired of the ordeal... I'm still ignoring her calls and emails. I am really trying at NC. Still thinking about her night and day, its hard but I'm really trying... =( Thanks again for the support...

Here was the beginning...

I'm not going to sue or anything. I just want to bring it to the attention of the hospital. Such an unethical doctor, how is that good for the hospital?

Maybe this is his karma. Me telling the hospital about the situation.



... And here was the first volley...

its done.. called the hotline, and its done


Wow... I wonder what happens after this?


Geez... that's a big shocker, isn't it?


i have a problem. Now that my emotions are a little more under control. I want to really walk from this as the bigger person and just let things be.

But here is the issue, my bestfriend that has been helping me knows everything. I told him not to say anything, but we have a circle of friends. I don't want the rumors to going but I think its too late.. How do I tell them all to be quiet? It is crazy what one person can tell a bunch of other people. I understand that my bestfriend is mad for me.

How can I walk a way the bigger person when the news is starting to spread?



Wow! How the heck did that happen? Holy geebus!

her sister just called me demanding the guys address... I guess she found out..



Huh. Sister found out. That's totally amazing, isn't it?