State of North Carolina. What is procedure for unwed mother to legalize the relinquished paternal rights of married biological father? Father is not on birth certificate, mother's choice. Biological father makes no claim on child and mother wants future protection against any claims from biological father or his family. I found case law that is dated 2004and very complicated. The child was born May 3, 2009. There has been no contact with the biological father.

Is there someone waiting to adopt ? Have you gone to court for paternity, visitation and support ? If your not willing to do those things and if there is no one waiting to adopt then nothing can be accomplished.

If you browse through the hundreds of threads in this forum, you will learn that this isn't going to happen.

Courts are very reluctant to grant a termination of parental rights (TPR). Generally, they will grant them only to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child.

So she would be wasting her time trying. There is no way that she can protect herself if the bio father wants to be a part of the child's life (except as noted).

If she applies for public assistance, they will insist on identifying the father and going after him for support. If she does find someone to adopt, the bio father will need to be identified via paternitiy testing to then agree to relinquish his rights.

Is there someone waiting to adopt ? Have you gone to court for paternity, visitation and support ? If your not willing to do those things and if there is no one waiting to adopt then nothing can be accomplished.

Mother does not want support. She has done nothing at this point except at first appointment with WIC she did name father, but plans to recant if asked again. Perhaps she is better off if she just does nothing? Grandmother is available to adopt but not if it terminates the birth MOTHER'S rights. Is this an option we wonder?

Mother does not want support. She has done nothing at this point except at first appointment with WIC she did name father, but plans to recant if asked again. perhaps she is better off if she just does nothing? Grandmother is available to adopt but not if it terminates the birth MOTHER'S rights. ? Is this an option we wonder?

It would. What Calif was talking about is is she married and her husband wants to adopt. If the grandmother were to adopt it would terminate the mothers rights as well.

In addition, the state WILL go after the bio father for support if the mom gets assistance (WIC, etc)

Mother does not want support. She has done nothing at this point except at first appointment with WIC she did name father, but plans to recant if asked again. perhaps she is better off if she just does nothing? Grandmother is available to adopt but not if it terminates the birth MOTHER'S rights. ? Is this an option we wonder?

If she applies for assistance, Social Services, will insist that she name all possible fathers and that they all be given paternity tests. Once the father is established, they will then go after him for child support. This is one reason the courts will not grant a TPR. They don't want to let the father off the hook, if the mother needs to file for public assistance.

Comments on this post
Miller11 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/miller11.html) agrees: It also depends on what state you live in as to weather or not they go after child support

From PM:

I was trying to rate one of your answers and I pushed the ok button too soon. I meant to add that its also sometimes up to the mother or custodial parent weather or not the state goes after child support from other parent. At least thats the way it was in my situation, we just had to show my fiance was living with me and he does contribute to her well being. I apolize if you misunderstood what I said in the rating. I'm still not used to using this site and all the features

No problem about the rating. But I have to disagree with what you are saying. In the situation you described, you showed that the father was living in the same household and contributing to that household. But what you don't say is whether you applied for and received public assistance. If you did receive it under the circumstances, it was because you showed the father was part of the household and contributing to it but the household still needed assistance. That is an unusual circumstance. Generally when a custodial parent needs public assistance its because the NCP is not contributing. If the state has to pay out, then it will got after the NCP. I believe these are federal guidelines, not per state.

Scott's right. In order to receive assistance certain things have to be put in order when it comes to support. For cash assistance the custodial parent has to waive their right to collect because the government will collect it. For food assistance the custodial parent will still collect but the amount they are able to collect will be less than someone not able to collect support so there again the government wants support in place so that we don't go into an even deeper hole.

Comments on this post
Miller11 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/miller11.html) agrees: It also depends on what state you live in as to weather or not they go after child support

From PM:


No problem about the rating. But I have to disagree with what you are saying. In the situation you described, you showed that the father was living in the same household and contributing to that household. But what you don't say is whether you applied for and received public assistance. If you did receive it under the circumstances, it was because you showed the father was part of the household and contributing to it but the household still needed assistance. That is an unusual circumstance. Generally when a custodial parent needs public assistance its because the NCP is not contributing. If the state has to pay out, then it will got after the NCP. I believe these are federal guidelines, not per state.


Update: Mother denied knowing who father is at last visit to social services. So far no request for any possibles. Maybe it has become to expensive to give paternity test to multiple partners. Shades of Jerry Springer. The outcome of this situation will be interesting. I can't say that the mother is making the best decisions, she continues a friendship with the biological father's father and stepmother. The bio-father and his wife have a child about 12 months, both are unemployed, and expecting another child. It is a sad situation for the bio-mom who believed the "we're separated and I'm divorcing when the baby comes" and oh yeah, " I love you". She is 22, a year behind in school, trying to keep up online and hoping to find a sitter she can trust so she can return to community college and find employment. She really does not want public assistance. She is also my only granddaughter whom I love dearly.

Does she realize that if it is ever found that she does know the bio father and lied on her paperwork she will be thrown in jail for 3-5 years for perjury?

I can't say that the mother is making the best decisions,Hello jl:

Well, she's 22 and not real bright... If she's not interested in the family stuff, maybe some numbers might turn her around. I don't know how wealthy she is, but I doubt she's wealthy enough to turn down MONEY.

Let me see here, at a minimum, she should get $200 a month even in North Carolina... If one were to multiply $200 a month for the next 18 years, one comes up with $43,000...

Wow! $43,000... I don't know. That seems like a lot to me, but what the hell do I know?

excon

Hello jl:

Well, she's 22 and not real bright... If she's not interested in the family stuff, maybe some numbers might turn her around. I dunno how wealthy she is, but I doubt she's wealthy enough to turn down MONEY.

Lemme see here, at a minimum, she should get $200 a month even in North Carolina.... If one were to multiply $200 a month for the next 18 years, one comes up with $43,000....

Wow! $43,000.... I dunno. That seems like a lot to me, but what the hell do I know?

excon

Ya know, she is bright and very independent. She did make this questionable choice, but when I look at the beautiful child she has brought into our lives, and the fact that she has this little person who gives her unconditional love, something she never got from her father... I don't know. She made more money working in the two years prior to having the baby than most college graduates. She went from summer student to full time HR/Safety person at a Georgia Pacific plant until it began shutting down due to lack of building in USA etc. She bought a house in 2007 and sold it within the year at a profit. $43,000 over an 18 year period is no where close to what she will be able to EARN even in North Carolina. We are not wealthy, but we do have an excellent work ethic. Something missing in most of America. I am concerned about her misleading public assistance regarding father, but that again is a choice she has to make but I will share this concern with her. Thank you all.

Agreed if it is proved to social services that she knew the fahter, then she will have to pay back all the money she received, and have criminal charges put against her.

Also there is nothing she can really do at this point to stop the father from being abelt to come back in the future to try and get visits and use his rights.

If she got married, then she could have father sign rights away to allow new husband to adopt.

But all adoptions will require bio father to sign over rights, and of course now she can not even legally claim to know the father since she said in government documents she did not know who it was.