Is there really such a thing called love? I mean I love my mother, she always treats me well, love my neices, they are great. But is there really such a thing as romantic love? I highly doubt it. I don't understand the notion of you will fall in love again. It makes no sense to me because I think if you are ever really blessed to find love it comes just once. You would be so happy to find it I think you would never give it up. Neither one would ever give it up so. The other times were never really love at all. Just some tenderness and care. If you love someone you would stay together for ever. So I have never been "in love". Have you?

I have been 'in love' many times. I have fallen out of love, say things that I couldn't handle, things I wouldn't handle or put up with. I learned that love isn't the only quality that make a strong and happy relationship.

My heart has room to love many people, I will never stop loving, even if it's at the risk of being hurt by love.

That is living a full and complete life, that is learning.

Love is that condition in which the happiness and well being of another is essential to your own. - Robert A Heinlein

Got a wife, 2 kids, a brother and sister-in-law, a really good friend and her husband, and the posse at AMHD.

Yup, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

How old are you?

I ask this, because I had the SAME attitude at like... 13.

Do you honestly think our hearts are so narrow that they can only ever fall in love once? Do you think that as people grow, they can't change their ideas on what is best in a lover, and either grow WITH the person they are already with, or find someone that fits the new ideals.

As far as never giving up that love (if you have it only once), that's just silly. Sometimes the best thing to do for someone you love is to let them go so that they can be happy.

I also had the same attitude when I was younger. I think it was mainly because of everything I went through with my mom and dad splitting up and finding out my dad had been married before. When I was 16 he had been divorced for the 3rd time. Kind of the reason I thought the way you did.

Then I became a bit more open minded. I've since been in love 3 times. And as stated above love isn't the only thing you need to make a relationship work. I'm now married and over the years I've started looking up to my grandparents more than anything. When I go over to their house to help out or just to visit, I noticed that my grandpa still gives my grandma a hug and a kiss when he comes home or leaves the house. They've been married almost 65 years and I think they are an awesome example of love.

Romance isn't totally dead. There are still some of us chivalrous guys out there. Just don't expect anything you see on TV, movies, or read in magazines or books- that stuff is not real.

I like this quote about love:


Love is not love except when it is generous. Love is learned and developed through the way we live, how we make our choices, how we think about and treat other people. Love is often learned in tough moments, or in the face of suffering. If it is not lived out through behaviour, love is nothing more than a nice idea.

Stephanie Dowrick.

Love is so many things. Romance is just a notion because love is so much about ourselves and the way in which we interact with the world and other people.

Love is not just about a special other person, romance or the 'one' - it is always about us.

Yes right now I am in love my man is caring and such a beautiful man I cannot ever imagine being apart from him. He always does the small things like write me a note or kiss me in the mornings to wake me up which make me so happy we've been together 10 months and the longest we've been apart for in that time is 3 days. We have yet to have a big argument and can always be close to each other. I have been in many bad relationships and am finally happy to stay with the man I have. I love him xx

I believe in romantic love. I just believe in the world today its hard to come by. I have so much respect for those couples out there who have weathered it all and still going strong at marriages of 50 60 or 70 years! When you take a vow, it should be a vow of forever. Not a divorce the first fight you have. I hate the idea of marriage these days because its become to easy to walk away without a fight. I mean when you hear of marriages that are 60 years or so, doesn't that sound romantic?

I believe in romantic love. I just believe in the world today its hard to come by. I have so much respect for those couples out there who have weathered it all and still going strong at marriages of 50 60 or 70 years! When you take a vow, it should be a vow of forever. Not a divorce the first fight you have. I hate the idea of marriage these days because its become to easy to walk away without a fight. I mean when you hear of marriages that are 60 years or so, doesnt that sound romantic?

I completely agree with you hun my partner is very romantic and we both want to get married and have a family together he waited until he was ready and with the one he loved and even lost his virginity to me. We're closer than ever and really want to grow old together x

I have fallen in love many times. I think I'm addicted to the rush of it, and I've learned how to pick myself up each time I've crashed and burned.
The romantic love/honeymoon phase usually only lasted a few months, and I thought that was normal. Then I met my current boyfriend. We met 2 years ago, fell in love, and are still crazy in love with each other. I have found the love of my life.

My wife and I just celebrated our 18th anniversary , We both have made great sacrifices for each other through out the years. During those times there were many discoveries and developments . Uplifting moments from joy and times that often bought me to my knees from heart felt pain of worry.
I often think back on relationships past and can hardly remember a name , let alone the sex , hair color or anything else , all I can really remember is the places traveled. Only with my wife there isn't anything I can't tell you about her. She has made my 43 years here in this world worth living and I know with out her, there will NEVER be another .

I shall always remember her words to everyone she mets " love conquers all " She was sent especially to me, because I had a heart of a Diamond . Yes love exist ,

When you have seen it in the eyes of your children the first time then you shall see it on a higher degree .

Now I pray that I may be found worthy to live long enough that I shall see the purest love that this life has to offer , my grand children ( which We still have a way to go yet ).
Hang in there and it will find you when you have given up on it , Love never gives up on you .

My wife and I just celebrated our 18th anniversary , We both have made great sacrifices for each other through out the years. During those times there were many discoveries and developments . Uplifting moments from joy and times that often bought me to my knees from heart felt pain of worry.
I often think back on relationships past and can hardly remember a name , let alone the sex , hair color or anything else , all I can really remember is the places traveled. Only with my wife there isn't anything I can't tell you about her. She has made my 43 years here in this world worth living and I know with out her, there will NEVER be another .

I shall always remember her words to everyone she mets " love conquers all " She was sent especially to me, because I had a heart of a Diamond . Yes love exist ,

When you have seen it in the eyes of your children the first time then you shall see it on a higher degree .

Now I pray that I may be found worthy to live long enough that I shall see the purest love that this life has to offer , my grand children ( which We still have a way to go yet ).
Hang in there and it will find you when you have given up on it , Love never gives up on you .



Oh my god this was the nicest thing ever. You're a good good man. Bless you and your wife.

Mother nature created us in pairs aparantly! So there's someone out there for everyone! You just need to believe it! You may be heart broken at times, but you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and then try again. And if you feel like giving up, remmber "there's someone out there for everyone. including me."

I have only truly fallen for two people in my life, my first love was Nearly 9 years ago, was so romantic to her, including valentines day, rose petals from door to the bed, (which FYI if its white comforter, remove the petals before rolling around on it!)

My last love of recently this past 6 months, she really brought out the romantic in me, everyday id find ways to sweep her off her feet, I took her to be kissed somewhere she's never been kissed, up near the clouds of the tallest skyscraper in Chicago, pulling a rose out of nowhere when least suspect it, making "me and ****" days, Making candle lit & fireplace lit dinner, looking out at Venus next to the moon this past Spring which is rare! Falling in love is the greatest feeling on the planet, but unfort. Breakup from that love is Worst then anything in the world!

Then Maz she didn't deserve you or what you had to offer. Before I found my wife I went through just a similar thing as you . Only then did I began to realize that love has new kinds of faces that I had not yet seen. Harsh, tender, lovely, and just about any other type you can think off . Weather it like a bad storm and you shall come out withstanding it as a rose as well , with your pedals glimmering. For all your past loves to see , then they shall see it was their loss not yours. For your true love is yet to be. Then she will see you for all your great creations and who you are.

From there you will as I did discover a new found world of love and joy as I did , and later see the family you have not yet seen .

Romantic love, to me, is the high, and the passion that a couple share in the beginning of a relationship. Love at that stage is deaf, blind, and dumb. We overlook faults, obvious shortcomings, and annoying traits because we are walking on cloud 9. Falling in love is the artificial high that people continuously think should be the norm.

Losing intense feelings like this as time goes on and reality kicks in, is where you realize that you aren't compatible, or your partner isn't the person you thought he/she was. So you do one of two things. You leave, or you stay. Many search for love all their lives to re-live romantic love; falling in love, with falling in love.

If you are lucky to get by that magical stage, and when the reality sinks in that you are compatible, you love a person in a different way. Sharing a loving relationship over time takes far more than romantic love. You love your partner, but you love the reality of day to day living, sharing, caring, and building on what started as romantic love. It is hard work.

But, the payoffs are great! To have a loyal, faithful partner doesn't come by accident. The romantic love that brought you together in the first place, turns into something far deeper and meaningful as you work through your troubles, and work even harder to keep your love alive as the years go by.

I've been married for 33 years this July, and cannot imagine myself with anybody else. I can also not imagine romantic love having started with any other person, that turned into a lifelong love story.

Romantic love is only the beginning.

I believe there is romantic love but many people want instant love so they never really finding the right one that will be a romantic love. Many do but the majority I don't think do.

Oh my god this was the nicest thing ever. Your a good good man. Bless you and your wife.
I hope to God my boyfriend will be like that when we are married

romance isn't totally dead. there are still some of us chivalrous guys out there. just don't expect anything you see on tv, movies, or read in magazines or books- that stuff is not real.

Every time I see a romantic comedy with my husband. I say to myself yeah right! These movies have people thinking that men always make these huge romantic gestures and its just not the truth. It's setting women up to be disappointed. :D

Love derives from two sources, biology and or psychology and operates just like as magnetism or gravity. The biological variety comes directly from dna acting thought hormones for the purposes of reproduction. The psychology variety (which also comes from dna) but acts though neurons for the purpose of preservation.

Both are valid forms and both essential to humans.

You will fall in love with a mate that is a suitable match with your evolved personality profile.(i.e. girlfriend boyfriend) for the purpose of reproduction. You will also fall in love with anything (not limited to just people) that generates extreme emotional comfort [mum, dad, special places, special outcomes (i.e. money even)]

Biological loves wains in step with your reproductive drive. Psychological love on the other hand can wax or wain depending of the strength of the external source in producing emotional comfort within us. (i.e. the more your pet provides you with pleasurable emotional experience the more you will grow to love your pet or anything or anyone else for that matter)

The only important thing to remember about psychological love is that WE determine the way we feel NOT others [that is why some people can still love their children or their parent no matter how badly they get treated by them because just like magnetism we at the emotional interface reverse the polarity of the negative into positive- to protect ourselves from negative out come (e.g. my mother/child does not love me = emotional hurt. Therefore we can reverse this to ‘they do love me they just don’t show it = I am loved by someone important to me = I am okay = emotional comfort)

So you can grow or let die or kill even, Psychological love when ever you want to but the news about the Biological love is not so good.

Well there you have it not such a big mystery- really

For most of my life, I completely believed in the notion of romantic love, and magic. I devoted the last thirty years giving a man every thing I had. I walked through hell for him. He has only grown colder and colder through the years until now, even though we share the same house and a beautiful son we both love so much, we barely speak. I realize now my vision of who I thought he was, and who he seemed to be the first years of the marriage, was not who he actually was. I am disillusioned, desolate, destroyed. There is no such thing as romantic love, only naïve illusion, and dreams fostered by the incessant lying media. Flaubert warned us in his book Madame Bovary. There's no "there" there. We ultimately have only ourselves, and that's it, folks.

parasvati, would you like to ask your own question and see if we can come up with advice to help you better your situation?

It exists.

The hardest part to realize and deal with is that for some it does not last.

When you realize that the best thing you have ever felt is fading and will not last forever , it does seem that your world collapses with no hope of repair , and for some that too is true , may God help us through these times, but it can happen once , fail, and happen again and be even better than the first.
I have not experienced it, but have been witness to it more than once.
And still believe that the old saying is true , despite the pain and devastation , it's better to have experienced it and lost it than to never have felt that way at all.

Never give up , and never quit hoping . That is when you are truly lost.