I'm not sure if this is really question, or really more; a vent.
She broke up with me about a week ago. We’d been together just over a year. About 3 weeks prior to the break up, I admitted to her for the first time that I have some semi-deep seated insecurities about myself, which I’ve had for a long time. She felt overwhelmed by this, as she has assumed that my recent (past few months) insecurities had been my due to my poor job and putting on some weight. She would tell me that I was beautiful/intelligent/great etc, but due to the vicious circle that is pessimism I just couldn’t hear her through the white noise of self-defeat. I didn’t act, I didn’t improve; I just wallowed. I think she had become quite exasperated as I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which she just couldn’t comprehend or understand. What kind of man demands to go home as he’s about to collapse after being out for a few hours?

She would make up slight excuses as to why she didn’t want to go out anymore. I felt a bit suffocated as we just sat around her flat when we saw each other (semi-LDR – 2 hour travel time), and it all got a bit too complacent (I had assumed that we were just becoming more comfortable with each other).

At any rate, that event 3 weeks prior to the break up spurred her to take a look at the relationship, and how happy she was in it. She hug out more with a guy from work who lived locally, even though that she claimed to not be interested in him (I maintain that she was only “using” him as a solace buddy – which in itself raises questions), and stopped talking with me as much on week days (even though everything was great again at the weekends when we did meet up). She never expressively said that she needed space, and being male, I didn’t get it through my thick head!

However, it had finally (after many relationships and many years of sadness) got through to me that I was too insecure, and changing that would be of a huge benefit to not only our relationship, but more importantly, to me. Unfortunately, she didn’t really see it that (perhaps because I’d only just started my medication and was a bit weirded out) way, and just saw it as a desperate attempt at saving her for myself (okok, perhaps it was a bit, at the time). She also has her insecurities and problems, which do effect me and how I see myself.

[She had started a new job just as we started going out, and had just moved to be closer to that job, and she was having a really hard time. She would cry continually and talk about ending her life, and how she had moved away from her family & friends. I was there for her throughout all of that (about 4 months) and was pretty steadfast throughout.]

A week before she broke it off, she said that it might be “too late”, at which point I really put the effort in. I stopped phoning as much, wrote some really positive emails to her from work, read a lot of confidence building books & websites, demanded that my qualification regarding work be hurried up so that I could take the next step, rewrote my CV, applied for jobs, started working out, etc.

She phoned up to break it off, even though I was supposed to see her that weekend, as she said that it would be “too awkward” (for her, no doubt). I brought up that I was changing for myself, and for the better, but she said that it was too late and wasn’t having fun anymore. We discussed various things, and I (rather tearfully, I’m afraid) almost pleaded for a chance to prove that things would be better and that I wanted to save the relationship. She said no, but she still loved me, she was “kind of” confused, and we could see how it lay in a “month or two”.

Fortunately (or not) I had already booked off some leave for the start of the week, so after stumbling around work for a day I spent the entire leave going over things. I maintained NC from the very beginning, packed up the stuff that reminded her of me, and deleted (or saved onto my HDD, to be more specific) all the texts & photos that we’d sent to each other. I’ve seen old friends, been out a lot, written a lot, read a lot, watched lots of soccer (!), listened to lots of my old records, watched movies, picked up my guitar for the first time in 4 years, worked out more, etc.

I know that the first few weeks are the worst, but this is really hard this time. Normally there’s a tangible reason for the break up. Something to burrow away at, hold my hand up and say “Hey, that’s fair enough, you/I were pretty bad”. But this time it just seems so…wispy. Just a flimsy strand of spider’s web in the wind. Of course I’m now feeling that I didn’t realise how much I loved her until she’d gone, etc; except this time it really is that much more sharp.

I think that she dealt with the break up in quite a mature way (as in ending it soon after she realised that something was up), but ending it on the phone, refusing to give us a second chance or even a meeting to talk it over, being adamant that it wasn’t “meant to be” as putting work into a relationship meant that it “wasn’t to be”, and by not even wanting to work at it via communication at all seemed slightly immature to me.

Even though she did end it that way, I still love the gal, and I refuse to not fight for something that even thought it maybe a lost cause, is something that I believe in.
I’ll continue with NC for a month and a bit, and I’ll continue to better myself for myself (as if things don’t get fixed, then I’d much rather be in a position where I can move on with my life), but I just can’t believe it’s all over something that really wasn’t that hard to fix.

(I’m so glad that I wrote this Leviathan out in Word as Mozilla just crashed, hah!)

I think this was more of a vent than a question but it is good to let things out to get it off your chest.

I am sorry this happen but you seem to be on the right track. Keep it and keep the NC going. I am rooting for you and welcome to the site.

Come and vent anytime.

It seems like you're going to be okay. Sounds like you're a smart guy and getting on here to vent or just to talk is a healthy way to express yourself without breaking NC.



I just can't believe it's all over something that really wasn't that hard to fix.

I had the same problem man, my ex left me for really stupid reasons that we could easily fix. The thing that I've come to realize is, she broke up with me for one reason... but those excuses to why she left me were decoys. There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask, there was so much I wanted to do. It's none of my business anymore. She left me for one obvious reason: She didn't want to be with me anymore. For whatever reason that is, I might never know the real answer. It might be the same for you, but I can be wrong. Learn to accept what reality has laid upon us.

All you can do now is wait for your wounds to heal, so you can get yourself back.

The thing is, you can never know the real reason for the break up. It might seem like no reason to you, but in relationships things always 'accumulate' and it becomes difficult to pinpoint where things started.


A week before she broke it off, she said that it might be “too late”, at which point I really put the effort in. I stopped phoning as much, wrote some really positive emails to her from work, read a lot of confidence building books & websites, demanded that my qualification regarding work be hurried up so that I could take the next step, rewrote my CV, applied for jobs, started working out, etc.

I did worry a bit when I read that - all in a week! I felt exhausted just reading it.

Take it easy man, and don't be so obsessive. See the past few years as a great lesson and learn from it. Don't be so serious. You're doing the right thing.

Thanks for your words of encouragement so far! More venting to follow!


Today has been a “bad” day. I’ve felt utterly exhausted and drained.

I can’t stop thinking about all of the times that I didn’t really put the effort in, when I should’ve. At the moment, I can only remember the times when she put the effort in with me. All the times that I could’ve answered better, or paid more attention to her. But she never brought it up; never complained that I wasn’t paying her enough attention. Maybe she had given signs, but I had just assumed that it was because of work & her professional exams that she wasn’t feeling as close. Or I just assumed that it was because I was unattractive/unintelligent, and brought those up in conversation (not all the time, but enough to make her ask me to stop).

I can’t stop thinking about this other guy, with whom she spent most of the last 3 weeks of our relationship. She had never really paid him much attention before, apart from when he paid her compliments or flirted with her. I would joke that he had a crush on her (was that wrong? Did that make her flattered and crave more of his attention?) and she would laugh it off, and tell me that she loved me. He moved to the town where they both work one week after she had informed me that I needed to change. She suddenly spent nearly all of her spare time with him, and wouldn’t stop talking about what they did at work etc whenever she did have the decency to get back into contact with me. She assured me that nothing was going on (she has never lied to me before, that I know of – in fact, quite the opposite), and she was just glad that she could have someone to hang out with after being away from home & friends for a year (she is quite insular, and doesn’t really like going out too much – or used to at least!). So I let it be, but after he started cooking dinner for her, popping over to her flat unexpectedly, going out drinking with her until late, I was obviously a bit upset. I do admit, that I was probably being a bit too insecure about it; but her only reassurances were “don’t worry, chill out”, where I guess I was looking more for “I love you”.

They got on well; as they shared a couple of interests that I didn’t share with her, he was out-going, earns more than double what I earn, and could drive her to places (I live in the city and can’t afford a car – walking is better for me anyway!). I’m not sure what I’m more worried about: them going out together now, or her falling for him when we were together and having troubles. He blatantly did the gentlemanly thing of trying to woo her when she was confused and (at that moment) in a relationship. Before he moved, she made him sound as if he was a completely heartless bastard at work, who was pretty mean to everyone. But as soon as he’d moved and she found a “friend” to take solace with, everything in regards to him was roses. I’m sure that he weaselled his way into her thoughts and planted suggestions that I wasn’t good enough for her. Me, who was there for her when she hated herself and wanted to die because of work (hell, it was so bad I almost broke up with her a couple of times…but I talked it through and made the effort to save us): Him, who didn’t pay any attention and didn’t care at all when she was running to the bathroom to cry.

I don’t think that they’ll get together, as she has huge issues that need a lot of trust in place before she can commit to a relationship. I think it would be pretty foolish to trust him, especially how work would be even worse for her if they split up (…if they get together). But it’s just so frustrating to know exactly what some other creep is doing, when you’re working your balls off to try and save the relationship.

I guess it just proves how immature and/or heartless she was to do that, instead of just asking for a bit of space and a mature discussion about how things were. To not put the effort in to save something that was turning slightly stale, when it was so fantastic at the start…I just can’t comprehend it!

No Contact. No Contact. No Contact. No Contact. No Contact.

I'm going crazy.
Must. Not. Text. Or. Phone.

Here are the rules and FAQs if you need it: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/nc-rules-faqs-332732.html

You just got to keep yourself busy. Try to hang out with friends and family as much as you can. Being alone can drive you nuts, cause you'll just end up dwelling on it.

I have read the rules & FAQ, thanks :)
It’s just hard when you have that one brief moment alone, or as you turn out the light before you go to sleep, and their head rears up into your mind.
Work isn’t that busy at the moment either, so sadly I have more time to think about things than I’d like (although I’d like to think that it’s helping in some way!)

Fortunately, today has been a “better” day. I’ve actually eaten two meals so far (!), and I found myself opening my body up more. Not as hunched and decrepit as yesterday, and I could talk more openly with colleagues at work. Unfortunately I have a gigantic mouth ulcer right under my tongue, so that made the conversation that I could offer a bit stilted.

I can’t believe how much of a coward she was. At the first general sign of trouble, she scampered away. It had been building for sometime admittedly, but as soon as she realised that it could be a problem, she just shut herself away and didn’t communicate to me about it in any form. When we did break up, I told her that I had been improving myself, and all she could say was “Why didn’t you tell me then?!”. I wasn’t exactly going to just pop up and say “Hi, I’ve been improving all this time that you’ve been practically ignoring me and making me feel terrible!”.

If she told me something in the same manner that I had told her my problems, I would’ve been intimidated perhaps, but that wouldn’t have led me to question the relationship in the way that she did. I would’ve helped her through it, and come out the other side as a stronger couple. Eurgh.

It’s funny though. Today is the first day that I’ve realised that I am myself again. Towards the end of the relationship, neither of us were ourselves anymore, and we didn’t deal with it fast enough, or deliberately enough. I even remembered today that in the past few months I had been questioning my own commitment to the relationship, and if she was “the one”. Maybe that’s linked to what happened, and she just wanted to jump ship first?
I keep thinking about which little word or sleight of hand changed the relationship for the worst, but in truth it was just an amalgamation of little fractures on both sides. If only we’d addressed those fractures, it might’ve worked out for the better. Maybe it still can, after we’ve addressed our problems.
At least I’ve realised today that if I try to “fix” things for her, then if we do meet up again, I’ll just be pushing the changes in her face, instead of just relaxing with them in my own personality if I had done those changes for myself.

Weird how that when we fell for each other, we were ourselves. But the people that we broke up with were different people altogether.

Running, running, running things over in my head, again and again.

Where is she? Who with? What is she doing?
Did we both have our feet out of the door from the beginning, or only towards the end?
Why didn’t I show enough care and love? I have it in me, but why did I keep her at arms length? How can she abandon me when I was there for her? How could she say with definitive looks in her eyes that I was The One, 3 weeks before breaking up with me? Why do I care compare everyone with her? Why does no one even come close? How long will it take for her to realise that she’s lost me? Will she ever realise that I still had un-tapped potential, even at the end? Will she ever realise that when we thought that we had good communication, that it wasn’t anywhere near good enough? When will I learn to commit my heart to a relationship? What’s the point in keeping people at arms length, as that’ll only end up with me being hurt again?

I’m utterly, utterly physically & emotionally drained. I came home from work & collapsed into bed. I was supposed to give a phone interview to an employment agency, but how could I sell myself when all I could see was her face at the end of the phone? How could I stop my voice from wavering, as I thought that the phone call was from her?

I just feel like giving in and phoning her, just to hear her voice. It’s funny how desperately I need her support for the first real time, after she’s broken it off.

You don't need her for support, you need to realize you are a big boy and you can do anything you want without her in your life! Perhaps it is hard to realize that now, but trust me, it is the truth.

Thanks kc, that's made me feel better :)

I've finally just had the strength to pack up her things, and will post them tomorrow.
It's made me realise that I don't just miss the relationship as an object, but her too. It's taken me two weeks (two weeks of NC tomorrow, yay!), but I've realised so much about myself, and the problems on my side of the relationship. Crazy when I think back, considering I thought that everything was fine. I just didn't have the hindsight until now, obviously, but I really feel that her breaking up with me has actually really helped me. Without her breaking up with me, I probably wouldn't have taken her words to heart, and just muddled on. Also, without us getting together, I'd probably be in an even worse place than I am now, so I'm grateful in both respects.
I'm slowly giving up on the hope of reconciliation, as she hasn't made any noises about…well, no noises at all! It plainly wasn't a heat of the moment thing, and she'd already disassociated herself to an extent by the time she broke up with me (I think it was took her about five days from the pivotal point – although it had been building up for three weeks previously).

I do actually have a couple of questions though!

She only has a few things of mine, but she does owe me a three figure sum of money. When we broke up, she did mention that she would pay it back (I of course insisted that she shouldn't – foolish!), as it was for flights to see her parents for their 25th wedding anniversary. Should I just cut my losses if she doesn't send it?
[A nasty little voice inside my head is telling me to just turn up at the airport anyway, haha!]

At the end of June, a big group of our mutual friends are meeting up for a week. I've already said that I'm going, as she hasn't contacted any of them since we broke up (I know that I shouldn't have asked…), and they've said that they're going to invite her. I'm stuck between hoping that she'll say “yes” or that she'll say “no”. If she does go, and I suddenly realise that I'm not over her when I do see her, what's the best way to deal with it? I don't want to just ignore her and make everyone else feel awkward on our behalf, but I also don't want to talk with her in case I feel that connection again.

Oh, how I scoffed when people would say "it sounds like she likes this new guy". She said that he was horrible, and not at all attractive. I thought that I knew her better.

She actually sent me my stuff & the money today. It smelt of her. I didn't cry though, which is a sign.

I get home from a really productive and positive day. I was moving on; feeling better. I get home, and I receive a text from a mutual friend. He told me that she's going on a long weekend break to a luxury hotel with that guy. The same guy that was nothing like me, and wasn't her lover. So this weekend, she'll spend it between the sheets with him.

I have such an overwhelming desire to phone her. Email her. Anything. How could she do this? I understand that she is free to do whatever she wants, but she normally takes so long to build into a relationship. So much trust. So much care. Yet, she's just changed.
Help :(

I don't know why this "mutual friend" would tell you something like that. First things first, get rid of him. A true friend wouldn't send you a stupid text like that... that is just inexcusable. No reason to do it. The longer you keep the mutual d-bag in your life the more you hear about her, and the less likely you are to move on.

"Amusingly", she didn't actually go away. All he'd done is read an update on her Facebook, which hinted at the weekend break, but apparently it was "only a joke". Facebook by proxy, awesome.

At least it made me think & burn a few of those last remaining bridges. I had a weekend break away (London is still my least favourite capital city) and have an enjoyable time with friends, but I still thought about her too much (understandable).

I almost sent her a text just to say hi, but I realised that even if she did reply and was desperate for reconciliation (haha!), then I'm nowhere near ready to get back into the relationship. There'd be no point going back if history were just to repeat itself ad nauseam.

I would like to answer but I'm too lazy to read that huge paragraph. Maybe a summary would be nice =P

Facebook by proxy. That site is the work of the devil. You can never leave someone anymore with that thing around. Having said that, I'd bet money she put that one Facebook assuming YOU would read it and jump to conclusions. This seems to be a on going theme with the laides once something has ended they start posting on Facebook and myspace about their new "highly desirable" life. I know this is tough, but she's living in the short term and you must live in the long term. Short term she can say anything she wants on a website. Long term you can live a life of fulfillment and happiness that does not include her.

I suck. I broke NC after 3 weeks and 2 days. Although I think that it's good that I actually had to look up how long the NC had been. It's weird; it feels like it's been years, and it also feels as if it was less than a week ago.
I phoned her, but she didn't answer. Fair enough: she was either out, busy, or didn't want to answer. So I sent her an extremely neutral text, just saying hi and asking how she was.
I know that I've taken a step back by contacting her. I'm pretty sure that she won't reply. But, in a sense, I'm glad that I did. I'm glad that I did it now, instead of earlier. I've started getting over her, and although she's the first thing I think of when I wake up, I don't think about her all day anymore.
I'm not really sure what I want out of contacting her. To get no reply, even though I know that she can easily? To hear that she's doing well? To hear that she's doing badly?
Either way, no reply means that she isn't interested in any form of reconcilliation, so I know now that it's over.

I guess that's it now then :)
I feel like I know myself a lot better now than I did before, and I've really enjoyed this road of discovery; mostly from reading all the great advice on here! Just want to say thanks really.
NC really is the hardest thing that I've had to do, and even though I've broken it, I'm really glad that I kept it for this long.

So, unless something else happens, or I have a new relationship quandy: take care!

Read a book right before you go to bed and then when you wake up continue reading a few pages. This will give you something to focus on during sleep and something to wake up to and do right away.

You know, she is actually doing you a favour by not replying. If she did, you would be going back to square one.

I think you need to focus on yourself and not what your ex is doing.

You know, she is actually doing you a favour by not replying. If she did, you would be going back to square one.

You're utterly correct. I was so certain that I was getting over her, and it was just a friendly "hi". I didn't mind on the first day that she didn't reply. Or the second. But by the time that it's got to today; it's pretty annoying.
I know that it's only been 3-4 weeks, but I would've thought that she'd at least be nice enough to reply, even if it was a simple "I'm fine".
I don't even dare try and work out what she's thinking. There could be a myriad of reasons.
I know that I shouldn't compare, as we're both different people, but when my ex's got back into contact with me, and asked how I was/what went wrong/wanted some closure, then I gave it to them. I guess I just can't understand.
I'm still holding onto the slightest of hopes. Even though I know that it's ridiculous. That if she wanted to get back with me then she'd contact me, and she hasn't, even when prompted.
Unfortunately (as I guess is normally the case) the person she broke up with wasn't really me, so she has no incentive to get back with me, at all.

You're utterly correct. I was so certain that I was getting over her, and it was just a friendly "hi". I didn't mind on the first day that she didn't reply. Or the second. But by the time that it's got to today; it's pretty annoying.
I know that it's only been 3-4 weeks, but I would've thought that she'd at least be nice enough to reply, even if it was a simple "I'm fine".
I don't even dare try and work out what she's thinking. There could be a myriad of reasons.
I know that I shouldn't compare, as we're both different people, but when my ex's got back into contact with me, and asked how I was/what went wrong/wanted some closure, then I gave it to them. I guess I just can't understand.
I'm still holding onto the slightest of hopes. Even though I know that it's ridiculous. That if she wanted to get back with me then she'd contact me, and she hasn't, even when prompted.
Unfortunately (as I guess is normally the case) the person she broke up with wasn't really me, so she has no incentive to get back with me, at all.

Think with the mind, not the heart. After all the purpose of the mind is to think. The purpose of the heart is to love. That's why you don't think with your heart =P

Aye, I agree, again :P
I've been messaging her sporadically for the past week. Just small talk about "did you get your stuff?" "how are you?" etc. She dropped the hint that she was going out a lot, and didn't have much time at the moment. Foolishly I asked her "how comes?", to which she didn't reply. Today though, she mentioned that she wouldn't be able to message much as she was going to a race meeting this weekend with the guy that I was worried about previously. So, she's either using him, or she's seeing him.

If she is using him, then do I really want to be with her anyway? That's a kind of nasty thing to do. If she's with him, then why keep messaging me? Again, that's a pretty nasty thing to do, and not something that I'd be comfortable with, if I were him.

I guess I knew all along. I can't really be mean about it to her, but at least I can be privately angry, and a little appalled.
I think that I'll always harbour a little bit of hope that we'll get back together one day. I have with a couple of my other ex's, even though I broke up with them, as we had that little something.

I utterly regret breaking NC. I really thought that I'd be OK with it, even if she was seeing someone else. I'm not feeling good about it now.
Time to start NC again!

I utterly regret breaking NC. I really thought that I'd be ok with it, even if she was seeing someone else. I'm not feeling good about it now.
Time to start NC again!


It always seems like in the moment it is the right thing to do, but it never is.

I sent her an email saying goodbye. Her seeing someone so soon after us breaking up has totally screwed me over, and I really can't be doing with her being in my life.
I never should have broken NC, so I feel utterly foolish!
Back to square one! Well, not square one exactly, as I feel infinitely better than I did a month ago, but a backward step nonetheless. Oh well, onward to healing!

I sent her an email saying goodbye. Her seeing someone so soon after us breaking up has totally screwed me over, and I really can't be doing with her being in my life.
I never should have broken NC, so I feel utterly foolish!
Back to square one! Well, not square one exactly, as I feel infinitely better than I did a month ago, but a backward step nonetheless. Oh well, onward to healing!

See? Didn't we tell you not to break nc? =P

Oh well, I didn't listened to the people when they told me not to either and I learned it the hard way I guess that's how we really learn.

You are not foolish. You were in love. The only foolish thing is to allow yourself to break it again and ruin your healing process.

You kow what they say. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice shame on you!

=P

I sent her an email saying goodbye. Her seeing someone so soon after us breaking up has totally screwed me over, and I really can't be doing with her being in my life.
I never should have broken NC, so I feel utterly foolish!
Back to square one! Well, not square one exactly, as I feel infinitely better than I did a month ago, but a backward step nonetheless. Oh well, onward to healing!

If I had a $1 for every time I screwed up in this process, I would be rich.

Look, you are going to make mistakes... many, probably, before you get things going in the right direction. You know what, that's OK. That's normal, for a period! It would be worse if you didn't even realize you are making a mistake. The hardest thing I had to deal with was understanding that this process of healing is about ME, and has NOTHING to do with her... NOTHING!

It is about YOU. Do for YOU, and get the train moving in the right direction. We all screw up.

The hardest thing I had to deal with was understanding that this process of healing is about ME, and has NOTHING to do with her...NOTHING!

It is about YOU. Do for YOU, and get the train moving in the right direction. We all screw up.

I remember when I first came onto this site, and I was sure that I was doing it for just me, but there was a little voice in the back of my head saying "you're doing it for her too". I know that she's gone now, but it was only until I let go that it truly became just about me.

Unfortunately I miss her incredibly today. My heart is screaming at me to pick up the phone and call her; just telling her how much I miss her and how I still love her. My head is telling me that she probably isn't missing me at all, and has probably already fallen out of love with me. Contacting her would do nothing for her, and more importantly would do nothing for me.
Looking back and analyzing different aspects, it becomes clearer as to the main reasons we broke up. They were the reasons that worried us both when we first got together, that held us off on getting together. At the start, those worries just faded to the background, but as the relationship settled down, they reared their ugly heads again, and we didn't communicate about them. End of.

At least I have the comfort blanket (in a mean way) that I'm facing up to my problems, whereas she's just jumped into another's arms with the problems still intact.

You are getting there; just keep going. I'm going through a tough time as well and can really identify with what you are going through.

The fact that you recognize what you must do is the most important step; now that you are there, now it's just about making the mistakes along the way of doing it, but while keeping that ultimate goal in mind.

I've just spent the past half hour crying. Today has been a horrible day in regards to her. It's a repeat of yesterday, but twice as worse.
At some points today I was feeling much better, and then I rollercoastered down again.
I even had typed out "I miss you so much" on my phone, before erasing it.

The email that I sent 3 days ago basically surmised the problems within the relationship (the ones that without them, would've meant the relationship would've continued) which I apologised for if they were my faults. I thanked her for the way she had treated me, and how it had been a good relationship. I told her how I was moving on and improving myself. Then I said goodbye.

Sending her a text telling her that I miss her will totally undo that. I know that NC is the way to go to help me move on, but I just miss her so incredibly strongly, even though it's now been 5 weeks since the breakup, and a bit less than 7 weeks since I last saw her in person (yes, she broke up with me on the phone). I have that image of her waving goodbye to me for the last time, and it wasn't even a problem then. I thought that I'd be seeing her in a weeks time. I had just started a course of medication so I was pretty bad company that day, and I can't help but think that how I acted on that day swayed her judgement. It's hideous to think that the last time that she saw me I was acting so unlike myself!

Just wanted to vent really :(

You keep venting, keep crying and keep letting it out. I know it's hard. No shame man, none at all. It will get better. This whole detox process is going to get harder before it gets any easier.

I've just spent the past half hour crying. Today has been a horrible day in regards to her. It's a repeat of yesterday, but twice as worse.
At some points today I was feeling much better, and then I rollercoastered down again.
I even had typed out "I miss you so much" on my phone, before erasing it.

The email that I sent 3 days ago basically surmised the problems within the relationship (the ones that without them, would've meant the relationship would've continued) which I apologised for if they were my faults. I thanked her for the way she had treated me, and how it had been a good relationship. I told her how I was moving on and improving myself. Then I said goodbye.

Sending her a text telling her that I miss her will totally undo that. I know that NC is the way to go to help me move on, but I just miss her so incredibly strongly, even though it's now been 5 weeks since the breakup, and a bit less than 7 weeks since I last saw her in person (yes, she broke up with me on the phone). I have that image of her waving goodbye to me for the last time, and it wasn't even a problem then. I thought that I'd be seeing her in a weeks time. I had just started a course of medication so I was pretty bad company that day, and I can't help but think that how I acted on that day swayed her judgement. It's hideous to think that the last time that she saw me I was acting so unlike myself!

Just wanted to vent really :(

She couldn't do it in person, I mean breaking up with you. Shouldn't that tell you something.

I know its hard, I've been there myself but sorry if this is harsh but its time to suck it up. Forget about it, stop dwelling on the past and look towards the future. Don't get me wrong its better to embrace the hurt instead of keeping it bottled up but enough is enough. Dwelling on this for too long is just a complete waste of time. Trust me.

Hope things get better.

- none12345

Vent away. Get it out.

I'm going to tell you that I'm glad you cried. If it gets the pain out then I say do it as much as you need to.

Do not contact her again. Not just because it will help you but because every time you do you are making the bad situation worse. She's already left so she just sees this as weak behavior and that is not who you are despite a momentary emotional loss in your life.

As none said, all you need to know about her character was her break up over the phone. That's the real her, not the girl you made her to be. She also knew long in advance that she was dumping you so don't assume it was based on one day. It caught you off guard but not her, which is part of why you are still in shock.

I've completed a little experiment over the past couple of days. My doctor suggested upping my medication as it was initially used to treat my ME, however it's also an anti-depressant. As I've been feeling pretty down recently, he suggested that I up it. As an experiment, I quadrupled my dosage to see if I could recreate how I was on the first 2 weeks of the drug (the end of that period being when she dumped me, and during which the drug was still settling into my system). I did recreate it. I was emotional wreck. Crying, stressing, snapping; totally not myself.
The week before she broke up with me, she had just been visiting her parents for the weekend. When she'd got in, she'd phoned me, but I was asleep so missed her call. About an hour later I woke up, and phoned her. She said that because I hadn't picked up, she thought that I was out or whatever, so had arranged to bake some cakes & then hang out with the guy that she was seeing a lot of. I was annoyed at myself at not picking up that phone, and my emotional state was pretty messy due to the medication. I completely over reacted. I was over reacting before that too, due to her staying out late when she hadn't been before, but offering no explanations. Of course I worried, but I wasn't myself at all.
It's quite hard to explain, but after trying out my little experiment I realise now how in the last few weeks I was this emphasised negative aspect of myself. The main reason she broke up with me was because of this aspect, which had during those last few weeks, manifested itself into something much larger.

It was 5 weeks yesterday. I knew on the Monday before then that it was on the rocks and probably unsalvageable, so that's 6 weeks. It doesn't feel like shock anymore. I've thought about it, and although there is the missing of someone (anyone) being there, it's more the missing of her as a person. She wasn't perfect by any means (who is?), but she captivated me, and drove me.
A problem was that before I'd entered the relationship, I was happy with who I was. But after we'd got together, I realised that I wasn't who I wanted to be at all. Not because of a negative influence on her part, but more on my part, as I'd been in a semi-comatose state for a few years. Hindsight says that I should have stopped the relationship there, and improved myself, but I'm sure you all know how hard it is to stop something that is blossoming with excitement, expectation, and hope.

Therein lies the problem. We had a great connection. Even though we didn't share many interests, we connected on almost every level. She was the first woman that I'd even considered spending the rest of my life with. I know that there's time & probability on my side to find a similar connection, so that's not my worry. It's more a worry that if we'd met later on in life, then that would've been it. I know that it's a learning process, and I can take the many lessons learnt here to make sure that my next connection is even better. BUT. There's this little voice in the back of my head that says “she's set the bar high. Maybe too high”. I know that it's good to be on your own for a while, and you need to be happy with yourself before you can share that with someone else. But I don't want to settle for anything less than what she was (even if she was pretty cold in the way she ended it, didn't give it another chance/more time, etc), and it's just so frustrating! If I knew what I know now, then I would've pulled my head out of the sand, and done something about it. She could have done too of course, but obviously I'm going to feel that it's more on my side as I was older & more experienced.
I know that she's pretty immature, and she has a lot of growing up to do. But in some ways, she was more mature than me. That's why we meshed together so well.

I'm on holiday for a week now. I've already sorted a few things to do, and people to meet, but it's hard. I'd already had holiday saved up to see her family in the summer, but I had to lose that, obviously.
I talked to a friend just now, and she's definitely going out with the guy that I had suspected all along. I can understand her though. I'm sure he was "there for her", when I was acting badly (she had told me that I was too insecure, then hangs out with him all the time & had just started the medication…), and if she had stonewalled him, then she'd have no one to talk to seeing as I was gone & she was living alone & had no other friends.
She's a lot weaker than I thought.

This so hard. One minute I feel fine, and confident that I will be fine. The next minute I breakdown and burst into tears.
I know why she left me, even if it was fixable and she was too weak to stay & to try to fix it. I know that there's someone in my future who will stay and keep going when times are tough. I know why she got with her new lover.
I just keep remembering the future that we had planned. All the ideas and passions. All the good times together. The holiday that we'd booked for the beginning of August. Yet I know that she's going to be going with him now. That she's probably already told him that she loves him. That he'll get to wake up next to her smile in the morning.
It's so frustrating, because I know that I'm a "better" person. I'm a great guy, but I feel like such a failure. I know that money isn't everything, but he earns twice as much as I do, and I know that he'll be paying for everything and taking her on holiday, and on nice dates. I couldn't afford that; nor could she. I have M.E. so I couldn't really go on big trips like that anyway. It feels so stupid to be upset about something that in the long run isn't that important, but I just wish that I did have the money & energy to do those things with her when we were together. I'll never have that chance again, and I feel so terrible.
Yes, I'm bettering myself. Yes, I'm filling up my time. Yes, I'm expanding my understanding and learning more and meeting new friends. But I just keep seeing her beautiful smile, and the delight in her eyes... and yet it's already aimed at someone else. It makes me physically nauseous and I can't stop crying.
Whenever I suggested that we went out, she'd say no, as she knew that I'd be tired if we did. But that just made the relationship stagnate. I know that it's not my fault that I have M.E. but it's frustrating knowing that it's getting better now, and not before.
I'm now getting worried that when I do meet someone new, then I won't be able to keep them happy.
Eurgh, I really thought that I was getting better, then I have another full collapse.

Sup! Back again with more venting!

I dreamt about her for the first time since the breakup (and remembered it!) last night.
She was sad that it ended, but happy too, as my negativity had been weighing her down. She'd even drawn a picture of her, standing under the sky. When she was unemployed & at home, there was a dark cloud with a few drops of rain, but when she was with me towards the end, there was a huge storm cloud, and the rain poured down.

I can see why she was so stressed the weeks before we broke up. She realised that she wasn't happy anymore, and that I was unhappy. She had someone waiting for her who would lavish things on her. So she jumped ship. I can understand that, as I've done it myself, to an extent. I always became unhappy in my past relationships. Was critical of them, and of myself. I never really accepted them for who they were, or for who I was. I always found flaws in myself to pick at. I had always assumed that within a relationship I'd be happy. But when I was in one, I found other things to be unhappy about, and other things that made me feel inadequate. That has to go.

It's made me realise that in most of my relationships I was unhappy towards the end. My first relationship was fine though, but I knew that it wasn't going to work out, so I picked at myself. Maybe I've never forgiven myself for that? For letting go of that relationship that couldn't have worked out anyway? For breaking the heart of the first person that I loved.
I know that I'm easy to fall in love, and easy to fall in love with, once a relationship starts. My problem is that after about a year, the picking starts all over again.

I think that I intentionally (? ) made her unhappy, as I was unhappy too. Her problem & my problems made me unhappy, made me feel limited & frustrated. I couldn't admit that I was unhappy, as I was worried that she'd leave me. Worried that I'd lose what I had. I didn't come to the realisation that if I'd told her earlier, than it would result in less pain than if I'd told her now, and if she accepted those things then, then we wouldn't be in the mess that our failed relationship is in now.
I wanted her to understand that I was unhappy, but instead of talking with her about it, I pushed it onto her. I loved her, so I wanted us to feel the same, to be the same. She didn't open up to me either though; she never told me how she felt. I just assumed that she was fine, so kept laying my unhappiness onto her. She should have told me, but maybe she just assumed that I "should know" if she's feeling bad.
As she said when she broke up with me "I can't deal with how negative you are. I'm not your wife or long term girlfriend, so I don't have to deal with it."


I feel that I've broken her heart through my actions, so she broke mine. I know that she can only see the negatives of our relationship right now, as all the positives are being filled up by her new beau. I know that she wasn't good for me right now (or then), and that I wasn't good for her. Yet, I have this underlying feeling that I've never felt before. That we were right for each other, just not at that moment in time.

Don't stop. Keep it going until it's gone.

I dreamed that I couldn't find my fiancé during a hurricane that was destroying buildings in another town and we could all see the buildings falling around us but I kept calling her phone and she wouldn't pick up. Does that mean anything? Nope, just like your dream

Nice vent, but one thing I learned, never take dreams seriously.

Nah Rome, I'm not taking it seriously, it was just interesting that that's the way my subconcious "might" be interpreting things.

I had a pretty up & down day today (mostly ups though!)

I went to see some mutual friends of my ex & I (including one her old ex's). It was nice to see them again, as the last time that I saw them was in London two months ago, which was also the last time that I saw my ex *whimper*. I had a lot of fun, and it was great. My ex hasn't made any effort to talk with them at all since she broke up with me.. She hasn't even spoken to them in over a month, and she's broken two of our mutual friends friend's hearts. Pretty lame in my opinion.
It's funny though; she's basically cut off everyone, that she used to know. She seems to do that a lot. She cut off all of her school friends, and all of her university friends. Not a very good habit to have, really. She could have just broken up with me & been single, and kept her new boyfriend as a friend (albeit a friend who had a huge crush on her). But now she's just jumped in with him, so if/when she breaks up with him, she'll have no friends again. Having no partner is all well & good, but having no friends too makes living extremely hard, I've found.

Seeing them again brought back some sad memories though. Just imagining her new boyfriend staying at her parents house, seeing all her old school photos on the wall. But then I realised that I was that person to other people, and she won't see my old school photos at my parent's house either, so.

I miss her. The new partner thing, the spiteful words that she said, the longing for her body. They all sting, but what I miss most is her as a person. I just want to phone her up and tell her what's going on with my life. So I know what's going on in hers. So we can chat for hours and just have a great time knowing each other. I miss that so much.

I wrote her another email, but I didn't send it. It opened up a few doors that I hadn't even known existed before though.

In almost all of my relationships (apart from my first serious one), I've backed away from them after about a year. I think it's because that's roughly when my first relationship ended (give or take a few months), so at that point I reassess everything. I pick up on their tiny faults, and my tiny faults, instead of just accepting their faults for what they are: part of someone's overall beauty. I dwell on them, and blow them out of proportion. It's a self defence mechanism to protect myself from falling too head-over-heels. To protect myself from getting hurt and to prevent the heartbreak from before, even though it was my decision to end that first relationship. It's guilt and it's fear. I become more negative and morose to disassociate myself from the (supposedly) inevitable loss. That pushes people away, and I either break up with them, or they break up with me. I fear that I'll get hurt, or I feel guilty that I'll hurt someone else, again. I'm scared to commit to something that I feel so strongly for.

I asked my ex from that first relationship if she does forgive me, and she said that she does. We all make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn from them. Now it's time for me to accept things as they are, and face my problems with communication and a pair of balls, instead of running away from them.

Eh. I've had a good couple of days where I didn't even think about her that much. But today has been pretty bad. Just thinking about her a lot, and missing her incredibly. Getting better though, but it's been about 7 weeks now, and I really thought that I would've moved on faster. Oh well! :)

I wonder though: if you spend everyday with someone at work, then spend every evening with them, and most weekends, does that mean that the honeymoon period burns out faster?

I wonder though: if you spend everyday with someone at work, then spend every evening with them, and most weekends, does that mean that the honeymoon period burns out faster?

Yes.

You never want to be there all the time. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "you can't have steak every night." As good and expensive as steak can be it loses its value and becomes boring if it's the only thing you have. You kind of have to be like that in relationships, if you are there all the time, you lose value and you become boring. You also give her nothing to look forward to, like seeing you again. You can't ever be there the entire time as you are part of the relationship but not the whole relationship.

It is hard to keep a relationship going if you are with them almost 24/7.

I don't think about her as much anymore. It's still there, lingering in the background, making my personality much more spikey. I started talknig with someone recently, but as soon as it got a bit familiar, I prickled and did something that I knew would subconciously scare her away. I tried to apologise, but it was already tarnished. Funny really, as objectively, on paper, she was much better than my ex. Haha.

I went on Facebook for the first time in months the other day. She had a picture on her profile (yes, I looked) of her and her new boyfriend. I'm not pompous, or big-headed, but he's such a downgrade. I'm not sure if it made me feel better or worse. Better in the sense that she's ticking almost every box of a "rebound", and yet, why would I want that? I don't want her to be sad. I don't want to be sad, either.

I've found myself laughing & smiling again, and yet it's always tinged with restraint. My whole personality is. It's sober and stoic. I go out and have "fun", and yet it's not really fun. I get bored much more easily, and the bar in regard to women has risen drastically. Again, a good thing overall, but it makes me a bit sad all the same.

I've slipped into a bit of an apathetic rut too. Just transitory, I'm sure. It almost feels as if I have half as much to look forward to anymore. Before, I'd look forward to every conversation with her, every touch, every kiss. I look forward to seeing my friends & family, but it's just not the same. I know that I possibly weight too much value on love, but I always have. It's because I have a thirst for human contact, and I know that there's no closer contact with someone new, than in a relationship.
I know myself so well now, that although I'm comfortable with myself, I need more. More new experiences. And someone special to share with them with. To see their eyes open wide and glisten in excitement. For their smile to radiate. To grasp their hand as we lie on the beach. That kind of stuff.
Just learning and being with someone. To feel that warmth, even if they're not next to you. I can live with myself, no problem. I just have a thirst. Unquenchable. It's not about not being alone. It's about taking every moment, and learning from it. I'm almost done learning from myself. It's kind of scary how at peace I am with myself recently. I just need to learn & experience with others.

I know that I'll be OK. I think that I always did, deep down. I just don't want to be neutral. On the line, getting along fine. I want to feel great, and I just can't do that by myself. I need other people, even if they're just friends.
I guess that's why I push people away. I get scared that I'll get hurt, or that I'll hurt them. That I get bored of them and toss them aside. Since I've realised this though, I've just becomwe colder with less emotion. Maybe it's just easier to put up a wall and never let anyone in?

It's funny, in a weird kind of way. I spent the evening a couple of days back thinking about how bad she was for me. How much she cost me, before we even broke up (not in monetary terms!).
Last night, I spent most of the evening missing her, and thinking about all the good times we had. I suddenly realised that it was 2 months since we broke up, and a month since last contact.
I have moved on so much, but it's still so near sometimes. I spent today under a cloud and missing her intensely.

I don't want to forget her, and I don't want to get back with her (at the moment, har har). But I just want to be able to get past a week or so without having thought about her. It doesn't help that work is horrible at the moment, and I have no one to talk about it with, even if it's just for 5 minutes. Eh.

So talk or "vent" to us about it. That is what we are here for.

But I just want to be able to get past a week or so without having thought about her. It doesn't help that work is horrible at the moment, and I have no one to talk about it with, even if it's just for 5 minutes. Eh.
Forget going a week without thinking of her, when she haunts your thought have a plan of action to change the thought, like comb your hair, brush your teeth, check your ears for wax, anything that changes your thoughts.

I do notice you have made it a good habit to vent here though, that has to help. Do you read other posts too??

CONFESSION: I have exes that still haunt me after 40 years, since they dumped me.

Fact- deal with your feelings in a positive way, and don't let outside influences, (bad day at work) let you re-feel better times with the ex, just to feel good. Never works that way. Build new memories to replace old ones. That's what will work.

I agree with the others the venting seems to be doing some good for you but not so much venting on what could have been. Try to think as positive as you can on a life without her. Don't compare other girls to her, because if they are just like her won't you end up in this situation again.

I hate that this has happened to you, but all in all she sounds like the kind of girl that has always got to have something going on to keep her mind from straying to what is really going on in her life. She needs excitement to keep her going, love isn't about money and where you can go together. Love is about being yourself and being loved for you; spending time together and that being better than any thing money can buy; knowing that they are the one you want to spend your life with but not making it be like you will have no life without them; having fun together is not about where you go or what you buy, it's realizing that no matter what you are doing it's a lot more fun being with this person while doing so; you respect their flaws as well as they respect yours.

No one said that love was always happily ever after. It has its ups and downs, and when two people really love each other unconditionally, they can get through anything together that life throws their way. Meaning that they as a couple have to both try to make things work because a relationship is two people working together to make things work; not one person doing and the other hoping that their partner will make the relationship work for them.

You should have put up the red lights when she even started to go out with this guy in the beginning. That was when you two needed to sit down and have a discussion about her wants and needs as well as yours. If she was looking in other places for comfort especially in another man, then she really didn't want to make things work with you in the first place, so that's when you two should have talked and then you would know the real reason for the break up.

Stop putting yourself down for what happened between you and this girl. It was her wanting out because she had felt someone knew who could support her exciting life style. Which in my opinion is that she wants someone new every time things get a little tough, keeps her from worrying so much. She moved on to him so that she wouldn't have to worry about her present relationships problems. In doing this, she will probably leave this man hurt and alone too because every relationship has problems and when things get tough she runs. It's really hard to tell how many guys she will hurt before she takes the time between guys to realize her faults. Her faults being that she is not ready for a real commitment; she thinks life should always be fun; she wants money and not love; and she's not the most loyal person considering she dumped all of her friends.

I know I will probably get commented on how long this is, but I would really like to see you succeed in finding another girl and forgetting what used to be. Stop checking up on her. Don't think about her. I know that's a hard one, but as soon as the thought of her pops in your head immediately get up and find something to do. Keep yourself occupied and go hang out with your friends and family more often.

Get back out there in the dating scene as soon as you can. Maybe your perfect girl that is nothing like your ex will make you forget that you ever had a ex. She has moved on, even before the relationship was over, now it's your turn. Life is too short to ponder on what could have been.

They say right before you die, your life flashes right before your eyes. Make it worth watching!

I'm trying to revive myself with some loud music & a specially saved up bottle of 15 year old single malt.

Work is just horrible at the mmoent as it's the busy time of year, and I hate staying late to do work than I think is utterly below me. I know that I should be grateful to have a job in the current climate, but I just loathe it. Just want to find something better and move on.

Tal: I do try and read at least the first page of new posts on most days. It does help; helping other people with some vague advice, and reading about similar problems and seeing how people found good out of it.
I'm just feeling it a bit recently due to work & that we'd be going on holiday in about a weeks time, if we hasn't broken up. I love the new watch that I bought with my refunded plane tickets though.

I suck and broke NC again.

It's been a month, and I was bored, so browsed onto Facebook. I know that I should've stopped, but I've been having lightning strikes of images of her for the past week. She hinted that she'd just lost her job, in an update a couple of minutes previously, so I sent her a text saying hi, hoping that she'll enjoy her holiday (hah!), and hoping that her job was going OK.

She replied, and told me that she'd been made redundant and asked how I was doing. I replied and said that I was sorry to hear about her job, that I was doing well (stopping my meds this week & have lost some weight), and that if she wanted to talk, then I was there for her, in a platonic sense.

She won't reply, but it made me feel a bit... weird. A confliction of emotion.
I was there for her before, steadfast, as she started that job, and hated it. I know that she has someone new to cry to every night, but I still feel bad that she lost her job. I know that she put a lot of emotional effort into it, and I know that she'll react badly. No savings, no friends, 8 months on the rent contract, etc.

It hasn't put me back any steps as I know that there's no chance of reconcilliation, and I'm not ready for it anyway. I'd like to help her though, as I said that I would when we broke up, if she needed it.
At least she knows that I'm not a complete b*stard, eh?

Yup. Don't beat yourself up over breaking NC. Just get back to it. Remember, she has another BF, so you don't hold the same place in her life anymore.

I know the feelings for her are still there, that is why you need to stick to NC. Like you said, she has another should to cry on now... and it's not yours.

It's great to be polite and friendly toward her, but your feelings are still too strong to be in constant contact with her right now. Time to disappear and get back to your own separate life.

Yep, as soon as I sent the second text I knew that was how it would be; no reply from her, and nothing further from me.
In a sense, I wanted to text her about the holiday, as that was the last thing standing in the way. It's the last thing that was on the calendar regarding us as a couple. Now that that's gone, and the job too (which was pretty pivotal in the relationship as we got together as she just started it), and that she moved into a new flat just as we broke up solidifies The End of this chapter in my mind :)
Even though I only have the end of the holiday, she has much more to signify the end of us as a couple. I'm finally accepting that, thankfully :P

Acceptance is the first step to healing. Keep forging ahead. Soon you will be back to 100% again.

I realised that I haven't actually been on a "holiday" holiday for years. I've been on weekends away, and short weekday breaks, but never more than a week. I've stayed in girlfriend's apartments for a week or two, and vice versa, but that doesn't count! It suddenly really hit me that I was really looking going away with her. It wasn't even being with her, per se. Just being with someone that I cared about, on a nice long break in the sun.

Her in a bikini, looking beautiful. She'd be ing; upset about losing her job, being immature with her sisters, and I'd be overweight and unhappy. Probably. I'd be honest with her, and she wouldn't tell me anything about how she felt about us. We'd be bitter and fight lightly, but make up. Under olive trees. Drink wine & strong cheese. Smile.

I know that without her leaving me, then I wouldn't have gained so much of myself back. I would still be under a cloud of drizzle. At least the sun is starting to break through.

The grass is never greener. It may look greener, but it's just astro-turf. Something that's been spruced up to look nice, for a short while. The roots aren't there, the soil is under nourished, and the irrigation is terrible. You leap over that white picket fence. You land in the lush grass, even if it feels weird to the touch. Even if the sheen isn't quite right. After time, the grass on that side you jumped from starts to recover, and starts growing again. You look down and the grass that you jumped to has withered and died.

Ahoy; bottle of red wine for tonight!

Still not over her. Every time I go to London I pass her old flat, and her new flat. Today I went to London and spent a lot of the time brooding. Kind of ruined the day for me, even though I tried hard to not think about it.

I am doing really well, and it is getting easier, but set-backs are frustrating, and I still miss her a lot.

Every time I go to London I pass her old flat, and her new flat.

Then don't go to her flat, new or old.


Today I went to London and spent a lot of the time brooding. Kind of ruined the day for me, even though I tried hard to not think about it.

Why are you going to London? Is it work related?

If not, go somewhere else for awhile besides a place where you associate to her.


I am doing really well, and it is getting easier, but set-backs are frustrating, and I still miss her a lot.

It's up and down, but the you can pull through. Be smart about this as well, going to where you going to remember her though isn't in you best interest.

It's getting better. I actually have to think now to remember how long it's been, or what the date was when she ended it.

Chuff: Some of my good friends live in London, or North of it. The only way to head North is to go through London (via train as I don't drive), and both of her flats are right next to the train line. So it's a bit hard to avoid if I'm going there!

I was supposed to go on a date tonight (the first one since the breakup), but she stood me up with 45 minutes to go. Well, I feel as if she stood me up, as saying that she's feeling really ill and can't make it seems a bit weak, as she could've said something earlier, right?
So I ordered myself a large cheese pizza, supped at a large glass of iced Jim Beam, watched one of my favourite movies, then phoned up a friend to go and watch District 9 at the cinema (great film by the way!). Sitting there as the theatre filled up with couples got me thinking too. Not in a pessimistic way, but just realising that there really are so many other people to draw lines of connection with; some of which will be infinitely stronger than what I had before. I just need to find those people, and enjoy myself whilst doing so, with or without them!

I don't think that the old me would've turned something negative to something positive in such a short time.

Yup Yup same with me, it just simply means we are getting better and looking forward to the next girl that walks into our life.

AMEN. I didn't get over my ex until I actually went out and sat down at a coffee shop, glanced at all of the girls in the joint, and realized I could probably be with a few of them if I wanted to

We will meet new people have better relationships and the exes will be in our pasts!