Threads merged

Hey everyone, this might be long, but its also very complicated, and it is one of the most important things that has happened in my life thus far.

I've been in 4 previous relationships, but the one that just ended was definitely the hardest. We are both 20 and just ended our Junior year of college. We had been good friends all through freshman year, and then started dating the summer before sophomore year. Everything was great for a year, we truly loved and cared for each other, and then I went to Prague for a 4 month study abroad program. We both waited for each other for those 4 months. When I got back we were still so in love with each other. I've heard from her friends that she was always counting down the days until I got back, and cried a lot.

She had also gotten into a term abroad for Germany for this Spring but did not go, and I know that her feeling she would miss me too much was part of the reason. I'm not sure why, but I got really stressed in the winter and had the most schoolwork I've ever had. Somedays we would only see each other when we slept over at each others rooms. I didn't really mean to but I ignored her more than I should have because I was juggling so much stuff. I did stupid things like invite her over my room, and then play videogames with my friends. I only did this like 4 times. It kept piling up however. She told me that she was getting frustrated that I wasn't making enough time for her. In the early spring I went to see her crew race and saw her race, but then left before she got back off the water. She was really offended that I didn't stay the whole time.

Finally the thing that put it over the edge was one weekend night where I drank too much alcohol and got blacked out. I acted very mean, and embarrassed her in front of all her friends. When she asked me to go back to my room and sleep alone I got offended and was banging on her window asking me to let me in. Now my intent wasn't to harm her, I just wanted her to let me in. I ended up banging so hard in my drunk state and breaking her window. After this I left, and the next day she told me we were done. This all happened a little over a month ago. More details about what's happened since then are in the next post if you care to read. Sorry for the length, but this whole thing is very complicated.

So we hung out the next two days after the breakup and she told me she loved me still but wanted me to learn what I had did to her. We said we didn't want to hook up with other people. Anyway, the first week after the I miss yous were going back and forth, after a week though she asked for space, so I gave it to her. Three weeks after the break I had heard that she had been seeing some other guy. I convinced her to talk to me and confronted her about it. She came clean and said they had hooked up, and that she was taking him to her formal. I was devastated and we both told each other that we should move on, and see other people. THe odd thing was she kept saying things I can't forgive you "yet", or "for now". Things of that nature. She also said if I came to her house in the summer that her parents wouldn't treat me any different. I then asked for my clothes back from her room. She said OK but didn't go get them initially. I had to ask her 3 more times until she finally drove the car we were talking in to her room and gave me my clothes. It ended with us hugging and her crying saying she didn't mean to hook up with him.

2 days later she was in my dorm and we made eye contact and then I went the other way. She sent me a text saying I thought we weren't going to be akward. So I went and said hi, and then she started crying. So we went to my room and she was crying her eyes out, she then said she loved me, and we hugged for awhile. I then said that maybe we should just hang out as friends once in awhile to maybe reconcile things. She said OK and to call her that week. So I called her and she ignored me twice on 2 different days. At that point I said it. I had my formal that weekend and took a different girl, and we ended up hooking up after it.

On the Monday after the formal, I got a text saying, "I'm sorry that I've been such a b1tch lately, and you don't deserve it." Later on that night she asked who I took to formal, I responded. And then she asked if we hooked up, and I told her yes we did. We then went and got ice cream that Thursday. We talked casually for awhile but then the break up came up again. I told her once again how sorry I was for how I had acted, she said I know, but you need to realize what you've lost. She then said " I love you, and will always love you, but you really hurt me, and I want you to realize that." We ended up hugging and holding hands.

Finally to where we are this week, she sent me a text yesterday out of the blue. She told me she was watching some show about housewives from New Jersey, which is where I'm from. I responded with a haha response and asked how her day was, and she then asked how mine was. Today we chatted on AIM, and I asked her if she wanted to get lunch or dinner tomorrow. She said "possibly dinner tomorrow, I have a big test on friday and my sister is visiting on thursday." She then said she'd be free after 5. So I said OK I'll see you tomorrow and have a good night. SHe said thanks you too.

Phew I'm sorry that was so long, but I really wanted you guys to get the entire story. I need the best advice I've ever needed in my life. I still love her, and I was the one who pushed her away. I've realized now how much she meant to me, and I'm appalled to what I did. Does she still want me and is just punishing me, or is she stringing me along. We leave school in 2 weeks and we live 4 hours apart. Maybe the summer will help things? What should I do. Thanks.

My personal opinion:

Took me a while to read the story but I guess it helps me to give a more accurate answer.

Sounds like both of you have sacrificed a lot for each other. Sounds romantic, but at the same time when that happens usually the relationship ends up with lots of expectations and in the end one gives up or feels tired. Been there myself.

To answer your question.
Does she still want you? No one knows but her but I know I wouldn't play any of her games. She has to make a decision. Yes or no and stop fluctuating.

If she can't forgive you, its not going to work. She will need to forgive you first to even make it possible for this relationship to work. As for the other guy, don't think too much about it, he is clearly a rebound. I think she is stringing you along and being selfish until she knows for sure what she wants.

I would just like to point out that in the past 2 weeks the mind games have seemed to stop. Now she won't ever ignore me, and even contacts me. She also hasn't ditched out when I asked to hang out with her in the past 2 weeks. Just thought I'd add that in, but I do realize that she could go right back to the mind games.

Well you said, she loves you but she can't forgive you, she hangs out with you talks to you casually, hang out as friends but end up hugging and holding hands. Which one is it? Friends or lovers? Sounds like mind games to me. Sounds like she's leading you on.

She's a pro dude. I knew she was dating someone else before you said it. Your behavior didn't help, but at the same time it's her way of trying to control you. Now, she have every right not have have her window broken by a drunk. But at the same time it's a great excuse for her to dump you while she dates the other guy. The reason you didn't get your stuff back right away was because she wasn't sure about the other guy. He was new and unpredictable. You were always going to be there. I think you should go back to ignoring her because she's just going to play this cycle over and over until you quit playing it with her.

I understand that she has to forgive me for this to work. Its just really hard when there are girls telling her to punish me in the background. A lot of these girls are her sorority sisters who don't know me much at all. They saw the drunk night and think I'm a crazy person. For the first 3 weeks it seemed like she was really listening to all the things they said. I know this for a fact from a mutual friend. However as of late she seems to be thinking things through by herself. The only reason I say this is because her best friend, is one of my best friends as well. And her best friend told me that she believes in the end that she will forgive me, and want to get back with me.

Did someone say something about repeating cycles?



I think you should go back to ignoring her because she's just going to play this cycle over and over until you quit playing it with her.

Oh, that was me.

She's a pro dude. I knew she was dating someone else before you said it. Your behavior didn't help, but at the same time it's her way of trying to control you. Now, she have every right not have have her window broken by a drunk. But at the same time it's a great excuse for her to dump you while she dates the other guy. The reason you didn't get your stuff back right away was because she wasn't sure about the other guy. He was new and unpredictable. You were always going to be there. I think you should go back to ignoring her because she's just going to play this cycle over and over until you quit playing it with her.

Well we go to a really small school, and everyday up to the breakup she was always sleeping at my place, and I pretty much knew what she was doing at all times. If they had hung out before our break, I would have heard about it from someone, because everything spreads like rapidfire at a small school. However I guess you could be right in that maybe she had already been talking to him during the ends of our relationship. The only alternative to this is that her friends encouraged her to date someone else after our breakup. I do know for a fact that the first time they hung out was 2 weeks after the break. Its nice when you have inside sources.

Did someone say something about repeating cycles?




Oh, that was me.

Lol Chuff, I mentioned yes and no fluctuating? Does that count?

Well we go to a really small school, and everyday up to the breakup she was always sleeping at my place, and i pretty much knew what she was doing at all times. If they had hung out before our break, I would have heard about it from someone, because everything spreads like rapidfire at a small school. However I guess you could be right in that maybe she had already been talking to him during the ends of our relationship. The only alternative to this is that her friends encouraged her to date someone else after our breakup. I do know for a fact that the first time they hung out was 2 weeks after the break. Its nice when you have inside sources.

The "friends" always get involved. She would always say they are just friends and they want what's best for her and you have selfish motives that's why they listen to their friends. That type of girl, isn't in love with you.

lol Chuff, i mentioned yes and no fluctuating? does that count?

Great point. Two people have noticed the cycles repeating.

One person can stop the cycle. Do you know who it is. I'll give you a hint. He is the master of his domain.

The only alternative to this is that her friends encouraged her to date someone else after our breakup. I do know for a fact that the first time they hung out was 2 weeks after the break. Its nice when you have inside sources.

Inside sources? Dude you dealing with a bunch of women. Women love the drama and they really love it when it involves sex, guys, and other guys. You are going to hear whatever stirs up the most drama so they can sit back and watch a live soap opera.

Thanks for the responses thus far, keep them coming, it would help.

How long are you going to continue the games to be played? You are only delaying the inevitable with this break up. She ended it, she won't forgive you, she keeps you on a leash so if nothing comes around, you're there. Congratulations

Things have changed so much, and you have not. I can see why she dumped you, but can't for the life of me see you getting back together soon.

Things have changed so much, and you have not. I can see why she dumped you, but can't for the life of me see you getting back together soon.

Not really sure how you say I haven't changed. I've lost weight since the relationship and become even more active than ever. People have really started to comment on how good I've been looking. I've been playing the singles game with girls and yes it is fun, but I still feel a void in my life. I haven't gotten wasted like that night ever since, and her friends have even told me that it looks like I've changed. Her friends who were initially ignored me after the break have all actually started to talk to me. I've started to accept the fact that we may not ever be back again. However, since it was me who pushed her away, if she gives me a second chance, I think ill take it. I guess in the mean time I will just hang out with other people, if I find another person I like then so be it. If I'm still single and she wants to give it another shot later on, then I'll probably do that. I've realized I'm mostly a good guy, I can't be perfect. But if she can't stop listening to her friends and she that, then she isn't the right one for me.

Okay, not many relationships end because of looks. So continue losing weight and being more active, but that won't make her come back any quicker. You have an anger problem and need to seek counseling for that. I've gone out with my fiancé, gotten completely wrecked and still treated her with respect and kindness. Drinking is no excuse for a temper

Okay, not many relationships end because of looks. So continue losing weight and being more active, but that won't make her come back any quicker. You have an anger problem and need to seek counseling for that. I've gone out with my fiance, gotten completely wrecked and still treated her with respect and kindness. Drinking is no excuse for a temper

Thanks for the advice, I'm not an angry guy ever unless I get blacked out. Either way there's a problem somewhere. It might be a drinking problem. As I stated before I've stopped drinking like that. Being in a fraternity is no excuse for binge drinking of that level. The night where I got angry was a night where we were playing some dumb drinking games where the alcohol all hit me way too fast before I could react. Its not an excuse though. Lately I've had maybe 4 beers tops in a night. I actually find it more fun. As long as I don't let myself get to the blackout state, there is no problem with the way I act.

Thanks for the advice, I'm not an angry guy ever unless I get blacked out. Either way theres a problem somewhere. It might be a drinking problem. As I stated before I've stopped drinking like that. Being in a fraternity is no excuse for binge drinking of that level. The night where I got angry was a night where we were playing some dumb drinking games where the alcohol all hit me way too fast before I could react. Its not an excuse though. Lately I've had maybe 4 beers tops in a night. I actually find it more fun. As long as I don't let myself get to the blackout state, there is no problem with the way I act.

Sounds to me like you've been selfish and taken her for granted and then the drinking thing pushed you both over the edge. She's sick of it and hurt, and wants you to suffer for a bit. I'm sure she talked to her friends about what was happening with you both and women tend to protect their friends when guys behave like this.

I'd back off and let her feel like she's punished you and you can behave like you've learnt your lesson. It's a silly game, but sometimes we humans react like this.

I reckon you might have another shot at it if you play your cards right. Take the cues from her and don't be too subservient in it.

But learn the lesson will you? Try not to be an a-hole in the future.

Ok so we ate dinner last now, we are on speaking terms again, and we were having fun. Any suggestions on how to keep it rolling good? I don't want to screw this up.

Things have changed so much, and you have not. I can see why she dumped you, but can't for the life of me see you getting back together soon.

I agree here so if you're plan is to get back with her, I don't think it will work. Actually you didn't take our advice to let go and move on. That was our advice, not to help you get back with your ex because that will just lead us to giving you bad advice and steering you to the wrong direction and you ll just end up getting hurt even more.

Ok so we ate dinner last now, we are on speaking terms again, and we were having fun. Any suggestions on how to keep it rolling good? I don't want to screw this up.

This reminds me of a post I saw here before.


she's just going to play this cycle over and over until you quit playing it with her.

And so the cycle begins again.

Ok so we ate dinner last now, we are on speaking terms again, and we were having fun. Any suggestions on how to keep it rolling good? I don't want to screw this up.

You're playing a game, it's called "How long until it all goes in the $hitter again".

I'm going to place a bet; 2 weeks, 1 month tops.

You can't keep it rolling because it never was. You're trying to push a square wheel up Mount Everest.

Write back when you break up again. We'll be here.

Yup thanks for the advice, I'm done. I'm tired of playing these games. Time to move on.

Yup thanks for the advice, I'm done. I'm tired of playing these games. Time to move on.

That's what you said last time. Are you really ready to move on and be happy?

I go home in a week, we live 4 hours apart. I have a pretty nice internship in NYC. All of these things will hopefully help me get past all this.

I talked with a good female friend today. She convinced me to talk to her and basically lay it on the line. Tell her that I'm tired of being tugged along. If she wants to be together we are. If not, then we need to part ways. I realized she may respond with a give me more time response. We talked and said that the best counter to this would be, "ok then I guess we are done, I've given you six weeks, but I can't be played like this forever." I hope this is the right thing to do. Hopefully I'll get a true answer from this all.

Yesterday 12:47 pm


Yup thanks for the advice, I'm done. I'm tired of playing these games. Time to move on.

Today 4:09 am


I talked with a good female friend today. She convinced me to talk to her and basically lay it on the line.

And the cycle begins again.




Tell her that I'm tired of being tugged along. If she wants to be together we are. If not, then we need to part ways.

No offense against your friend, because I don't doubt for one second she has your best interest in mind, but how exactly would this work? She's been tugging you along for a month and half and she's a woman so she understand emotions better then you so she knows this day is coming and already has a prepared answer. She's controlling you through words and you should be controlling her and this situation through actions. Constantly breaking NC and asking or demanding another chance makes you look more and more pathetic and weak every time you do it. It's kind os a joke to her at this point. She's just toying with you, so for you to go in and say now "give me one more chance or we are done....this time I mean it..... seriously..... this time I'm not going to change my mind....... no I really mean it ....... it's over if you don't come back with me" is not really going to work. In fact, it's going to blow up in face again and your going to wonder later what you were thinking.

OR you can just save yourself the humiliation and start to heal and not look weak and pathetic to somebody who thinks you are weak and pathetic.


I realized she may respond with a give me more time response.

My guess it is going to be, "If you loved me you'd give me the time I require, and this does not give me high hopes if this is how you are going to treat me, maybe you should think about it for awhile and get back to me when you are ready." Yeah, she's going to turn it around on you.

I'd be curious to hear what the other posters are going to say she says, and then find out what she really does say. Hey, if you are going to bring this upon yourself, we all might as well learn something from it.


We talked and said that the best counter to this would be, "ok then I guess we are done, I've given you six weeks, but I can't be played like this forever."

Let me get this straight, you should be ignoring her, but instead you are going to do what you always do and break your own cycle and then tell her she can't do what she is doing in the exact moment you are trying to stop her from doing it. On top of that, she's supposed to respect you for this? She's supposed to love you for this? Again, how will this work?


I hope this is the right thing to do.

It's not.


Hopefully I'll get a true answer from this all.

Seriously? How can you write that? She's screwed with your head for six weeks, don't you think that's an answer?


After having said all that above, I'm going to shock you and every other poster here. I want you to do exactly what your friend said to do. On one condition. Whatever happens, I want you to come back here and be 100% honest and post exactly what was said, and what the results were. No lying, no exaggerating. Just the facts.

Oh, don't get wrong she's going to serve your butt to you on a silver platter. But you clearly didn't like the answers you got here so you searched and search until you found the one person who told you what you wanted to hear. If you read through what your friend said, what you got from it was this message, "I get one more chance to talk to her." So if you are that desperate to look that weak to someone who strings you along then you know what, We are tired of trying to carry your balls for you. Drag them back here after she stomps on them and let us know how it went.

And the cycle begins again.

It's like a merry go round, it keeps going around and around.

Hopefully you will learn, also your friend. Is a moron. Not once have I seen where a person went a proclaimed their love, and then gave an ultimatum, work out the way they want it to.

It usually results in a restraining order

Threads merged and edited

So today's the last day of classes, I called her yesterday and we agreed to meet in the afternoon. So I called her today at 2, no response. Called her at 5 and she picked up saying she was at the car dealer, her car was having problems. I can verify this as true, my friend saw the truck towing her car. So I say, OK is 8 good for you. She replies, I'm not sure, I'll call you. I've heard the I'll call you before and not actually get a call. I know I should've just ignored her the entire break. It would be a lot easier if she actually was mean to me during the relationship, but this was not the case. I screwed it up so I have a huge sense of loss. I'm really starting to get fed up with this cycle though. I go home for the summer tomorrow and we live 4 hours apart. If she doesn't say goodbye to me in person, I'm going to be extremely angry.

What is the best plan of action for this situation. I really do miss her but I feel like its not healthy for me with these games. My focus is going to be on meeting a lot of girls this summer, hopefully it will be easier than ever now that my 21st birthday is in 4 days. It might make me realize there are better girls out there, or that I had it good and I blew it. Should I just ignore her the entire summer, if I want her to want me back. Also what should I do if she calls to wish me a happy birthday, should I answer and say thanks, sorry I got to run. Or should I just let the voicemail get it.

You already said your sick of these games so why keep playing them with one another? What are you expecting to happen here? Neither one of you have learned your lessons and it doesn't seems like the two of you are given this relationship another as agreed upon.

Update, We spoke tonight and I finally said what I should have all along. I said "I'm sorry I can't wait anymore, I'm moving on." She immediately responded in a very weird upset tone, "I hope you have fun with your new girlfriend. I just don't like you like I did before" I replied "I'm sure whoever I find will be a great match for me, because I'm a good guy with a lot to give." She then also said "I think we should be friends for awhile." I told her that that wouldn't work. She then said, "I like the old you more than anything I ever have." I responded with a "I know and thank you for breaking up with me, because it taught me a lesson and I'm back to my good old self." She then told me she was officially dating that guy. I responded "well i wish you luck." Finally she was like well "I'd still like to talk every now and then and see how your doing." I didn't respond to this, and then said "Well have a good summer, and good luck with your new boyfriend." I then walked away.

I plan on ignoring every type of text or call from her this summer, because quite frankly its her loss. I made some mistakes but I know who the real me is. She does too and seemed surprised by my sudden burst of confidence. How did I do?

You did good! Just stick to your guns by not having any forms of communication with her.

Honestly I feel so much better after doing this. I feel like I have a new lease on life.

So what do I do if she calls me. Ignore every time? Or answer and act all busy.

Stick to your guns, use the NC as a tool to get your life back together

So what do I do if she calls me. Ignore every time? Or answer and act all busy.


I plan on ignoring every type of text or call from her this summer, because quite frankly its her loss. I made some mistakes but I know who the real me is. She does too and seemed surprised by my sudden burst of confidence. How did I do?

How about sticking to your word for a change. :rolleyes:

So what do i do if she calls me. Ignore everytime? Or answer and act all busy.

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

So what do i do if she calls me. Ignore everytime? Or answer and act all busy.

From this comment is it safe to assume you are secretly trying to get her back?

If its just a honest question, stick to NC. Its called NO CONTACT for a reason. Ignore them.

Threads merged

After almost 2 years my girlfriend wanted a break 8 weeks ago after I started to hang out with my friends more and more and started to neglect her a bit. We are both 21 years old. I really didn't mean too, I still loved her, I just took it for granted I guess. She started hanging out with some new guy about 2 weeks after and it hurt me, so I responded by hanging out with other girls. She went back and forth at school for like 6 weeks of like I want us to be together, and then she would ignore me again. We got home from college about 2 weeks ago.

The last day of school, I was just upset and basically had enough of this yoyo game. I had wanted to reconcile things the whole time but I couldn't keep living like that. We met in person and I asked her, what she wanted. She said she didn't know. So I told her I was going to move on. She immediately got offended, and was like "Well I hope your new gf is nice," in a sad jealous tone. All I said is "She will be, cause I'm a nice guy and have a lot to offer." She looked a upset. She then said "Well I think i'm dating this new guy." I said "well I wish you luck with that, and have a good summer." I stayed calm the whole time.

Anyway about 2 weeks ago when I was home she called me on my birthday. I picked up, she wished me a happy birthday and then was asking me what I've been up to and what not. She kept asking questions about my life. After about 3 minutes, I cut her off and was like "I'm sorry but I gotta go out to eat wity my parents, thanks for calling, bye."

Last weekend she called at 2 Am in the morning. I was drunk but not that bad. I could tell she was a little too but not that bad either. Anyway we ended up talking for 20 minutes, which I kind of regret now. We basically just shot the breeze, and she was leading the conversation with questions. I've been really busy and having fun, and let her know that in a subtle way. At one point she mentioned jokingly something about us watching football games together next year at school. I didn't respond and kind of just changed the subject. After sometime I told her to go hangout with her friends who she was with. She kept wanting to talk but went. She said OK "I will call you soon, bye".

I've stuck strong to my plan of not initiating contact with her over the summer so far. I still have feelings for her but I think that after trying to reconcile things for 6 weeks and for her to yoyo me around, now its her time to chase if she really wants me. Sometimes I feel like texting her but I've been strong enough to resist so far. I've been going out and meeting new people, trying to get her off my mind.

How am I doing? Do you think she's starting to notice that I'm living without her OK? I hope this is the right course of action.

I've been going out and meeting new people, trying to get her off my mind.

You just keep doing this. Having fun, enjoying people, that is life. Playing games with a female isn't life. Pick your poison, but choose wisely.

You just keep doing this. Having fun, enjoying people, that is life. Playing games with a female isn't life. Pick your poison, but choose wisely.

Sorry if I wasn't clear. I'm not trying to play games with her. After 6 weeks of actively pursuing her to no avail, I feel like I should just try and move on. If she comes around, I'll deal with it then. I'm not being mean, I'm just not making myself available, if that makes sense.

Makes sense to me, and your doing better than when you first posted for sure. I think your on a good path, if you stick to it.

Well its been almost 4 weeks of me not contacting her. Last time she called me was 2 weeks ago. I was just wondering what this all could mean. Is it possible she's done trying to play this yoyo type of game on me?

At this point I've moved on pretty well. Every once in awhile I miss talking to her though. I had the urge about twice to call her but I have resisted. I just got another one of these urges right now and I'd like some kind advice on how to deal with it.

Well its been almost 4 weeks of me not contacting her. Last time she called me was 2 weeks ago. I was just wondering what this all could mean. Is it possible she's done trying to play this yoyo type of game on me?

At this point I've moved on pretty well. Every once in awhile I miss talking to her though. I had the urge about twice to call her but I have resisted. I just got another one of these urges right now and I'd like some kind advice on how to deal with it.

You have to just be strong and say no that part of my life has ended and I must be ready to enjoy the new part. As someone who as caved in and made that call I can tell you it's only going to make you look worse to her, and more importantly you will be mad at yourself for doing what you knew you shouldn't. Love is like a drug in that the only way to kick it is look it square in the face and tell it no. You are more powerful then that drug... in this case her. But you are winning overall, just having a few moments. They are to be expected. See them through and you'll come out better then you are now.

Your urges come and go, that's normal, but don't dwell on them. Focus on something else will help, or better yet, change your thoughts, by changing your action.

Well like I said its been 4 weeks since I haven't contacted her. I was the one who pushed her away. If I ever decided to try and get back with her, how would I approach that? Right now my mind is still undecided, but I would like to know how in case that is what I decided.

I realize it could all blow up in my face, and I could be hurt again, but I don't want to go through life with a what if in the back of my mind. Would rather get the pain over with at some point than to keep living with a what if in the back of my mind.

She doesn't want you back, now what?

Screw her! Women run off, they die... seriously, you need to get your priorities straight. This isn't the end all be all of women. Right now there are millions of women who are looking for a decent guy. Go forth and live a happy and free life, not worrying about someone who doesn't want you.

She doesn't want you back, now what??

Yea its just so annoying when women play these games with Men. Like if she really didn't give a crap about me she shouldn't have called me 2 weeks ago, and wouldn't have said that she wants to hang out when we go back to school. I'm meeting up with a good friend soon, who is a great friend of hers as well. Guess I'll try to squeeze some info out of her. Many have said that most girls will just want to add drama to the fire, but this particular friend doesn't. We've known each other for a very long time. She's told me many things about other girls before because we are such great friends. If my ex has no intentions with me anymore, this friend will tell me it bluntly and to find other girls.

Also can anyone give me some advice about approaching women. I am so bad at it and I'm really not sure why. I would say I'm a fairly good looking guy but I just have this fear of rejection which cripples me from approaching women even when I see them eyeing me. Like the past week I was at a very casual bar and a really cute nice looking girl came up to me and said, "Hey, would you mind getting the bartenders attention for me." Like an idiot I didn't strike up a conversation with her, and all night I caught her looking at me. I just need some confidence boosters.

What, you can't make up your own mind and make your own decision? You need another female to be told what you should be doing for yourself??

Look in the mirror, and read this to yourself.

Guess I'll try to squeeze some info out of her. Many have said that most girls will just want to add drama to the fire, but this particular friend doesn't. We've known each other for a very long time. She's told me many things about other girls before because we are such great friends. If my ex has no intentions with me anymore, this friend will tell me it bluntly and to find other girls.
Make you feel like a child talking to mommy?? It should.

What, you can't make up your own mind and make your own decision? You need another female to be told what you should be doing for yourself????

Look in the mirror, and read this to yourself.

Make you feel like a child talking to mommy????? It should.

Good point

Guys, I'm really melting right now. I was doing so good, but the fact that she hasn't called since 2.5 weeks I guess is really killing me. I had a dream last night with her in it. That's how bad my mind is messing with me right now. I'm so tempted to pick up the phone but I'm doing my best to resist. Please help me. I'm going to go for a run right now.

It doesn't help that for some reason I'm in a terrible funk with approaching women right now. Wherever I go I can't muster up the courage to talk to women. Please give me some tips.

Women should be the last thing on your mind. Don't worry about that stuff just yet. Focus on yourself. Getting in shape, making money, loving yourself, you know... the cool things in life. The rest will come.

Threads merged

We dated 2 years. Its been about 3 months since she broke up with me. She drunk dialed me once and also called me on my birthday. I found out through a comment on FB that she visited her I assume new BF last weekend. She's been seeing this guy for a little bit now. I even asked her at the end of school if they were dating and she said no. I called her on her birthday just because I felt I should and was like so whatd you do the past weekends. She straight up lied to me and said last weekend she was at home not doing much. She also wants to talk for very long times and gets very interested about my life and asks me tons of questions. I always end the conversation.

What's her deal, why is she holding out. Honestly I feel like I should just ignore her for the rest of summer, even if she calls me. All of this makes me nervous cause we go to the same school and its very small. Don't want dramatic crap happening next year.

What's going on with her, and what the hell do I do in this situation?

It sounds like she has a new boyfriend, but will not let go of you in case that doesn't work out. Do not allow her to treat you that way. Move on. Do not contact her this summer or respond to her if she contacts you. Hopefully this will allow you to get over her before you go back to school in the fall.

You shouldn't worry about her having a new boyfriend. She broke up with you, and it's up to you to put the kabosh on any contact with her for a while!

That means, you SHOULD ignore her for the rest of the summer! DON'T take her calls! And please, for the love of gravy, delete/block her from FB. FB is the downfall of breakupee's everywhere. Because we like to "check up" on people that hurt us. Why, I will never know. But it's out to steal your soul and sanity! BEWARE!

So do yourself a favor and say "LATAH SUCKA!"

What she does and who she does it with is no longer any of your business and by checking up on her your only inflating her ego and halting your own healing process.

She's keeping you on a rope and your allowing it by answering her calls.

Go NC and start your healing process instead of being stuck with false hope thinking you can get her back.

Not easy but this is what you need to do for YOU.

Good luck!

She is your EX leave it at that and move on. Don't talk to her at all.

Lol she just drunk dialed me

lol she jsut drunk dialed me

Lol she still sucks.
Don't read or answer them.

lol she jsut drunk dialed me

Ignore it!!


It's been 3 months , how much longer are you let her control your feelings.

Lol she still sucks.
Don't read or answer them.

Yea I ignored it.

Yea I ignored it.

WOO!
Now doesn't that feel nice, being in control of the situation?


*yes it does, Torrid!*


I KNEW you would say that! *high five*

She's the female equivalent of a jerk.

Treat her with the contempt that she deserves for being so insensitive to your feelings.

Can you block her number on your phone - or make it go straight to voice mail? If you can, do it. It doesn't have to be a drama, just don't engage with her or talk to her.

And be careful, because if it doesn't work out with this new guy, she might just come crawling back.

And be careful, because if it doesn't work out with this new guy, she might just come crawling back.

Very possible , but only until the next better thing comes along.

Very possible , but only until the next better thing comes along.

Of course! Because there's always someone better, isn't there? =.=

Threads merged

Backstory, my ex broke up with me about 3 or so months ago because basically I was becoming distant. There was truth to this but I was just really overwhelmed with other things in life. I tried for a month calling her every few days to hang out. Sometimes we would. Other times she would blow me off. Would tell me that she wanted to get back but to give her more time. Well she's been seeing this new guy, which she still hasn't told be about. She actually lies, when I found out she visited him on a weekend through a friend and asked her what she did that weekend, she said she was home with her friends.

Well last time I spoke to her was her birthday about 4 weeks ago. Last night I get a text, saying she just wished I'd hadn't grown so distant. She then calls me, says stuff like I miss you, why haven't you tried to fix it. She didn't sound really drunk. So we talked tonight, she claims she doesn't remember much of the conversation, and she's still too mad at me to forgive me FOR NOW. She always uses the words "for now, for awhile, until im ready." She also said just give me some time to get over being mad at you. Wow, now I look like a retard. Should not have even responded to her text and phone call.

I was doing so good, thank god, after this failure I still don't feel that bad because I had it in the back of my mind that she would be yanking my chain again. I don't think she does it on purpose, she's just so confused whether I could be the good boyfriend again, that she flip flops. She basically doesn't want to risk giving me another chance and me being distant again, however its clear that she still wants to a little bit. This is annoying as hell though. Whatever I've been talking with a new girl for awhile now. Any advice on what to do about my ex, if she wanted to date again I would, and I'm afraid to move on with another girl and lose that chance. Also even after this conversation she never even once brought up the new guy. Haha she refuses to tell me, and I kind of feel bad for the guy that he doesn't know she is still contacting me and stuff. Any help thanks.

I realise you probably don't want to hear this but its time to move on and get your life back.in two years time would you really want to hang around and wait for this person to make up their mind?go NC leave her to her little power games-move on.

Just cause there is a new guy, don't mean he's her love. Some girls go for another guy straight after to make themselves feel secure and feel about themselves. A rebound. I suggest tell her what you feel and what you really want. When a girl is confused and scared to give you another chance, it does mean she's still lingering on the thought of taking you back. Give it a month, be friends and see where it heads off to. Also, ask her if there is a new guy in her life and you just want to hear the truth from her. GOOD LUCK, STAY POSITIVE AND STRONG

I merged your threads, so we can all see how many times you have gone in the same circle, and gotten the same advice, that was ignored, and have had the same results.

Get off the treadmill, and cut all contact with the girl.

I merged your threads, so we can all see how many times you have gone in the same circle, and gotten the same advice, that was ignored, and have had the same results.

Get off the treadmill, and cut all contact with the girl.

I know big mistake by accepting the call. I'm not really upset at all today, I feel just like I did after a month of NC. I've come to realize that its not worth putting up with the constant yoyo, she can't make up her mind but I can. I've also found someone else who seems to be a nice person, I'll see where things go with that.