How can I drop charges when the state picks them up

You basically can't. Once the state has stepped in and filed charges they do not get dropped except by the state. If this is a domestic violence case, then the charges will definitely not be dropped by the State. Lots of times the victim in a domestic violence case changes their minds and drops the charges. The state will file their own charges regardless if the victim has changed their minds. Happens all the time.

As Twinkie said, you can't. And you can be forced into Court as a witness.