Im going to see a counsellor on Tuesday next week but I'm just looking for peoples views on another one of my personal issues.

I have been a sex worker on and off for 8years. I have only ever worker in legal, upmarket establishments. Ive never been a street worker OR addicted to drugs. I live a drug free life.

I really enjoy my job. I never wake up on a Monday morning and groan because I have to work. I wake up with a smile on my face and can't wait to get there!

Many sex workers end up in the industry after being abused/raped by men. They do it as a sign of taking their power back. A lot also do it to support their drug habits. I on the other hard have fallen into it for none of these reasons. I started it because the idea of it completely turned me on.

Im not only a sex release for my clients but I'm also like a counsellor. Most of my clients have their own personal issues and that's why they see me. With 70% of them, I don't even sleep with them. They just want female interaction.

Some people ask me how I can enjoy seeing fat old, yukky looking men and to be honest, they might do just one thing that turns me on and then I start thinking about how gross they are and believe it or not but it turns me on even more. When I'm at work I feel like I have a purpose.

Don't get me wrong, I am not an idiot. Im quite a smart person, Working in the sex industry for me helps my addiction - sex.

I love my job... is that OK? What are your thoughts? ( I'm asking I kind of want an idea what the counsellor might say)

What do you mean by sex worker? Legal prostitute?

I don't think that its wrong to enjoy your work, but you're putting yourself in a very dangerous situation.

Getting into a job to satisfy an addiction isn't healthy. That's just going to make things worse and never get the issue resolved.

You do definitely need to see a counselor.

What do you mean by sex worker? Legal prostitute?

I don't think that its wrong to enjoy your work, but you're putting yourself in a very dangerous situation.

Getting into a job to satisfy an addiction isn't healthy. That's just going to make things worse and never get the issue resolved.

You do definitely need to see a counselor.

Yes I am a legal prostitute. No it is not a dangerous situation. Im not walking the streets being picked up by random men. Im in a controlled establishment that caters t a certain group of individuals.

I do the job for 3 reasons. 1) I love sex and sexual attention. 2)dealing with people and helping people in an intimate situation makes me feel good. 3) Money - I work approx 3-4days a week and make about $2500-$6000 a week.

This will sound very crass, but knowing the person iside of me, I feel that I would rather be a whore than a slut.. I that makes sense.. cos either way, I like to sleep with different people. Doing it this way, I'm safe

So you're addicted to sex, you're a prostitute and you're having sex with a married man just for fun. Do I have that right?

So you're addicted to sex, you're a prostitute and you're having sex with a married man just for fun. Do I have that right?

Hmmm yeah.. when you say it like that I sound like a lost case... ma this counsellor is guna have a field day on me

But one thing that wasn't right is, I'm not seeing the married man for fun.. I do love him.. he is the only man I'm kissing...

(oh my god... when its simplified I sound like a freak)

Meow420, Do you mind to tell me what region you are in? I like the counselor part. You could be my counselor.

Meow420, Do you mind to tell me what region you are in? I like the counselor part. You could be my counselor.

No comment

The oldest profession will never want for clientele,that's for sure.

There is nothing inherently wrong with prostitution provided you have the mental and emotional strength to deal with it.

If you love your job than why are you seeking counseling?

I don't get it personally.If someone was unattractive and unclean,I would be repulsed.

Are you perhaps just psyching yourself into believing it is never distasteful to you?

I hope you are planning for a future and saving your money or investing it as this is not something you will be able to do until your 60.I would imagine clients start to fall by the wayside after the 50 yr.mark.

Why are you going to see a counselor?

(Btw, the counselor will not judge you--if this is a real counselor, but will want to make sure you are emotionally, physically, and mentally secure in what you are doing.)

Where are you from? Where I come from prostitution is illegal no matter how you look at it.

The oldest profession will never want for clientele,that's for sure.

There is nothing inherently wrong with prostitution provided you have the mental and emotional strength to deal with it.

If you love your job than why are you seeking counseling?

I don't get it personally.If someone was unattractive and unclean,I would be repulsed.

Are you perhaps just psyching yourself into believing it is never distasteful to you?

I hope you are planning for a future and saving your money or investing it as this is not something you will be able to do until your 60.I would imagine clients start to fall by the wayside after the 50 yr.mark.

Im getting counselling because I think I am a sex addict. I just need to speak to someone to see if I need treatment or if its OK to live my life like this.

My future is bright, Im in the process of purchasing my second house. I haven't been stupid with the money Ive made.

And I most definitely won't be doing it when I'm 50 lol

Where are you from? Where I come from prostitution is illegal no matter how you look at it.

I don't know about American states but where I live brothels are allowed but only 6 girls are allowed to be working per day over 2 shifts.

Where are you from? Where I come from prostitution is illegal no matter how you look at it.

I come from Australia where prostitution is legal. It is a clean, drug free environment.

I come from Australia where prostitution is legal. It is a clean, drug free environment.

Street prostitution is not legal but sex workers are...
It is a strange system but it keeps the girls a lot safer (not to say there aren't illegal street workers though)

Street prostitution is not legal but sex workers are...
It is a strange system but it keeps the girls a lot safer (not to say there aren't illegal street workers though)
Some places are a bit shady... I have never worked in a lower class establishment and never worked on the street. I have bever had a bad experience myself in my work place, but I am aware that it does happen on the odd occasion.

I just need to speak to someone to see if I need treatment or if its OK to live my life like this.

If a therapist said to you,I think this is emotionally unhealthy,you should get out of the sex business,would that change your mind?

No one has to walk in your shoes so why would someone's opinion matter in the grand scheme of things?

If a therapist said to you,I think this is emotionally unhealthy,you should get out of the sex business,would that change your mind?

No one has to walk in your shoes so why would someones opinion matter in the grand scheme of things?

Because the rest of the world thinks I'm doing something wrong... I'm happy with my life.. I do some bizarre and somewhat crazy things but I'm happy. I do hide my work from 99% of people in my life though.

So when people start saying things to me, it makes me question how I live my life. Am I immoral? Am I a bad person? Am I acting in a negative way? It doesn't feel like that, but maybe I'm sooo consumed with sex and things, that I'm just not seeing the reality of it all... make sense?

If you haven't already, you should mayb read my other questions posted... that might explain other things...

If a therapist told me to get out of the industry... I don't know what I would do. I guess I have to be open t the fact that it might happen. If it must be done I will do it, although financially it would be a bit of an issue, but one I can deal with. But I really do love my job.. I don't want to leave it if I don't have to..

Personally, if you have the proper counselling and understand exactly what you are doing, I don't have a problem with it.
I do believe that counselling is a must, to be emotionally educated about the work, it should also be an ongoing thing as it can be pretty tolling on some people even if they don't realise it.

I have a friend who works in this industry and she is not a drug addict or a 'slut'... she just likes the job. If you saw her on the street you wouldn't think "prostitute" It is her job and the 'attitude' that goes with it stays at work.

There are safety risks, both physically and medically which need to be taken into account but the higher class estqablishments actually screen their clients which makes it safer, and protection is used.

because the rest of the world thinks im doing something wrong... im happy with my life.. i do some bizarre and somewhat crazy things but im happy. I do hide my work from 99% of people in my life tho.

So when ppl start saying things to me, it makes me question how i live my life. Am i immoral? Am i a bad person? Am i acting in a negative way? It doesnt feel like that, but maybe im sooo consumed with sex and things, that im just not seeing the reality of it all... make sense?

If you havent already, u should mayb read my other questions posted... that might explain other things...

If a therapist told me to get out of the industry.....i dont know what i would do. I guess i have to be open t the fact that it might happen. If it must be done i will do it, altho financially it would be a bit of an issue, but one i can deal with. But i really do love my job.. i dont want to leave it if i dont have to..

I have followed this thread and others you have posted and have made replies.
I think you are conflicted and I hope you find your way. The counseling will be a great benefit to you as talk therapy helps us to get a different perspective of things.

I have a friend who works in this industry and she is not a drug addict or a 'slut'... she just likes the job. If you saw her on the street you wouldn't think "prostitute" It is her job and the 'attitude' that goes with it stays at work.



That's exactly how I would describe myself! Im not alone!

I have followed this thread and others you have posted and have made replies.
I think you are conflicted and I hope you find your way. The counseling will be a great benefit to you as talk therapy helps us to get a different perspective of things.

I thought the name looked familiar! Im looking forward to the session.. I just wish it wasn't a week away... but that's the soonest I could get an appointment. Better late than never!

The counselor can take serveral different approches, and none of us here can ever tell you nor even really give you a glimps into what the counselor may say. The variables are too far and vague to determine much of any thing, you'd have to spill your story out to us and even then, difference in culture, opinion, interpretation, expression, understanding, personal values/morals, and your willingness to share/work with us or the counselor are all very important and can lead too much confusion.

If you want to know what a counselor may say, then you'd have to ask the specific counselor, other wise we are just feeding you a load of BS. We don't know you, the counselor or your countries daily workings so we are the wrong people to ask what a counselor may say, but we can still give our opinions.

Meow420, you sound very smart, and you seem to be wise with your money; but, you sense that you are missing something, don't you? You seem like you are afraid of something, but I can't tell what, and by the sounds of things you yourself aren't sure of it either. You feel abnormal, otherwise why the counselor? You have an ideal to follow in the way of what life should look like, and you are living in a world of obsurities and don't know who, or what you really are? Deffining yourself takes a lot of effort and even then you aren't sure if that's who you are when you say it is, or if it's a lie you tell people to make it seem OK, better, and less painful?

Does any of that hit anything? Sorry, I'm probing, counselors do this too, but I'm being more blunt and straight up, to find an answer to your question.

Important Information: When we are expereincing pleasure, it is hard to experience displeasure; thus we learn to associate some, socially veiwed as, bad behaviours (Behaviours, being feelings, actions from you or others, thoughts) as good. This is because when we experience something we like dopamine is released in our brain, lowering our threshold for pleasure, making even the things we normally precieve as negative, as a pleasing stimulation. Then we can even become addicted to that kind of behaviour craving the stimulation of our pleasure centers.
I'm not sure why you would be a sex addict, other than that it's pleasing and you simply kept doing it so much so that you now depend upon it like people who "need" their coffee/sugar fix, or if it's really bad like a Cocaine/LOVE(yes I mean love)/Mania addict, or even a addrenaline junky. But with out knowing more about who you are, where you came from, how you were raised, what your morals/values and beliefs are; there really isn't much more I can explain.

I am curious if you've ever been abused before? Or what your past relationships have been like, or your previous sexual expereinces?

One more thing, what did you think of yourself when you were younger, and what do you think of yourself now? Pysically, intelectaully, socially, personally, and so on. I see you find that being there for those men is serving the purpose of helping them, but I'm afraid that it is probably more the opposite, as they are holding onto a relationship that is baised on money and not personal interaction on an intimate and non-buisness like level. It sets unrealistic ideals, and then they may either keep treating people as they do, or cheat on their lovers, or simply become too dependent upon you to supply them with "pleasure"/joy in life and thus they are addicted to you. What happens when you leave, or if you decide you don't want to be there any more? More importantly, what kind of purpose are you really serving? Any one can give some one money, but to teach them to make it on their own, that is not easy and is the only way to "help" some one. If they can't make it on their own, then they won't make it at all. IF you are a councelor what kind of councel do you give? Is it sound, or is it foolish? Can those people really benafit from it? Are you really providing comfort, and possibly lies to these people so they can feel good about themselves while they avoid the cold hard truth? Or do you tell them to pull up their socks, and believe in themselves, they can go tell their significant other that they are through, then tell them they need to stop seeing you so they can find themselves??

I will have to do some reading in my books after you answer that, should you decide you still want to discover the possibilites.

Truth be told, you are no better or worse than any one else. You are a wonderful person, smart with your money, know how to take care of yourself; but, you are confused, as most of us are, and don't know what you really want, who you really are, and if you are at all worthy.

Does that sound about right?

May peace and kindness be with you.

P.S. Meow420, you tell us one thing, but it doesn't add up with your questions?

"because the rest of the world thinks im doing something wrong... im happy with my life.. i do some bizarre and somewhat crazy things but im happy. I do hide my work from 99% of people in my life tho."- You

You are worried about what the rest of the world thinks, but you can't help that, you can only focus on what you think, if you think you are happy then be content with that, because you can't not make some one else happy, they have to choose that for themselves.

As for the 99% of people that don't know what you do, you may need to come clean and face the fact that they may not like it one bit, and clear your concience, or accept that you are lying to them and that lying is OK. Is lying in conflict with one of your morals?

"So when ppl start saying things to me, it makes me question how i live my life. Am i immoral? Am i a bad person? Am i acting in a negative way? It doesnt feel like that, but maybe im sooo consumed with sex and things, that im just not seeing the reality of it all... make sense?"-You

Self confidence? We all question how we live our life, if we don't then we are immoral. (or so I understand it to be so.) Are you a bad person? I don't think you are bad, maybe confused, but not bad. Personally, I do think there are many negative and advers affects that you nor most people even consider when thinking about such situations. Giving some one gratification is one thing but allowing them to constantly evade the reality of their lives, very dangerous.

And again the damage done to you, if there is any. How you feel, but what you know to be "right" or "wrong" maybe in conflict, thus your indicisive behaviour. (your thoughts of what you should or shouldn't do.) In my opinion, no one truly knows the difference between right or wrong, because they are too general, and to each their own. What is right for one may not be right for another, so open your mind and be mindful of the possibilites that lay before you. "There is no right, wrong, good, nor bad;there are only possiblities."-Nestorian
At least you are aware that the possibility of your confution is there.

Take care.

If a therapist said to you,I think this is emotionally unhealthy,you should get out of the sex business
Any therapist worth his or her salt would never said something like that. The therapist asks leading questions to get the client to think about all the emotional, physical, sexual, social, spiritual, educational, and mental ramifications, and then allows the client to come to his or her own conclusion(s). In other words, if a therapist tells the client what to do, the client should run away screaming into the night.

(P.S. I'm a counselor/therapist.)

As for the 99% of people that don't know what you do
Why do they have to know what she does? Even so, it's legal in her country.

Any therapist worth his or her salt would never said something like that. The therapist asks leading questions to get the client to think about all the emotional, physical, sexual, social, spiritual, educational, and mental ramifications, and then allows the client to come to his or her own conclusion(s). In other words, if a therapist tells the client what to do, the client should run away screaming into the night.

(P.S. I'm a counselor/therapist.)

I am aware that counselors guide and do not give advice in that manner,having been to counseling before ,I was merely using that as an example to make a point.Would she be willing to change her lifestyle if someone pointed out that it was emotionally unhealthy.

Why do they have to know what she does? Even so, it's legal in her country.

Why indeed? As I said, "... You may need to come clean and face the fact that they may not like it one bit, and clear your concience, or accept that you are lying to them and that lying is ok. Is lying in conflict with one of your morals?"

I agree, what she does with her life is her business, but would she be cool if they lied to her? The door swings both ways, and if you can't handle others treating you the way you treat them, then you are inconflict with your values/morals. I'ts on her to decide what is right or wrong, not you, not me, and not those 99%.

So why does she choose to keep it to her self? Is she ashamed? Does it bother her that they would know? Is she afraid they'd think less of her?

Why indeed would they have to know?

Peace and kindness be with you

you are lying to them and that lying is ok
I didn't say lie to them. If someone asks her what she does for a living, since it's legal, why can't she say, "I'm a sex worker"? Otherwise, it's no one's business, and she doesn't have to shout it from the rooftops.

Yes i am a legal prostitute. No it is not a dangerous situation. Im not walking the streets being picked up by random men. Im in a controlled establishment that caters t a certain group of individuals.

I do the job for 3 reasons. 1) i love sex and sexual attention. 2)dealing with people and helping people in an intimate situation makes me feel good. 3) Money - i work approx 3-4days a week and make about $2500-$6000 a week.

This will sound very crass, but knowing the person iside of me, i feel that i would rather be a whore than a slut..i that makes sense.. cos either way, i like to sleep with different people. Doing it this way, im safe

Having sex with mutliple strangers IS a dangerous situation. Have they all been tested for STD's before they come to you? Probably not. Your ARE in a dangerous situation whether you want to admit it or not. Have you thought about STD's? How often are you checked? Do you use condoms for any intercourse and oral pleasure?

I didn't say lie to them. If someone asks her what she does for a living, since it's legal, why can't she say, "I'm a sex worker"? Otherwise, it's no one's business, and she doesn't have to shout it from the rooftops.

Wonder girl, I wasn't talking about what you said, but what she is faced with. She can tell them or not, but if she feels that it's lying, then does she feel OK lying, or is it inconflict with her morals, of coures I didn't want to imply that until she either figured she was lying to them by omitting information about her life, or not. As you said, it's all about how she sees it, and driving her to find conclutions on her own. I was curious as to whether she was feeling as though she was lying or not, so I put that in there as it was. Not a great idea I admite, but some times we have to be pushed into a corner to get out our true feelings/self so that we can see just what we are keeping hidden with in. No, I'm not playing counselor, as I'm not trained properly, but I am trying to give her ideas on where to start "soul" searching. If she can get past the idea of social ideals being moral or immoral, and hopefully she will find that it's not so important what others think, but how what you do affects your realtionships with them.
For example: Lets say she had a BF, don't you think she would be wisest to tell him? Does he not deserve to know what he is getting into?
As for family, Hmm, that is a personal choice. I would tell mine, but that is because my family is well messed up any way so it really wouldn't be a big deal, for too long.
My friends, Depending on how close I am to them, I'd tell them I guess; but, the relationship is then up to the other person to decide whether I'm still the person they want to hang out with or not.

It's all situational dependent, and the variables are being weighed, that is why she is asking us so many opinion questions. She seems to be looking for reasurances, and hope... Oddly enough, I think she is enjoying what she is doing, but I don't think she is paying full attention to some of the aspects with a critial mind, but more of a they seem to enjoy it, seem happy while with me, so it must be good? It's the question in her statement that makes me curious.

Those are just some thoughts, nothing specail, and most likely as she shares more of her story with us those thoughts will change. Anything I say is not absolute, what I speak is only possibilities, and so I let life show me what it will with out trying to define it to a point where I can claim, "i'm right". Because chances are, I am not. I hope that isn't too confusing, I have a habit of rambling and making no sense at times, if I did this, my apologies.

So, really, I agree, why can't she say, "I'm a sex worker."? Only I'm not asking others, I'm asking her and only her.

Peace and kindness be with you.

Meow420, you sound very smart, and you seem to be wise with your money; but, you sense that you are missing something, don't you? You seem like you are affraid of something, but I can't tell what, and by the sounds of things you your self aren't sure of it either. You feel abnormal, otherwise why the counselor? You have an ideal to follow in the way of what life should look like, and you are living in a world of obsurities and don't know who, or what you really are? Deffining yourself takes a lot of effort and even then you aren't sure if thats who you are when you say it is, or if it's a lie you tell people to make it seem ok, better, and less painful??

Does any of that hit anything? Sorry, i'm probing, counselors do this too, but i'm being more blunt and straight up, to find an answer to your question.

Important Information: When we are expereincing pleasure, it is hard to experience displeasure; thus we learn to associate some, socially veiwed as, bad behaviours (Behaviours, being feelings, actions from you or others, thoughts) as good. This is because when we experience something we like dopamine is released in our brain, lowering our threshold for pleasure, making even the things we normally precieve as negative, as a pleasing stimulation. Then we can even become addicted to that kind of behaviour craving the stimulation of our pleasure centers.
I'm not sure why you would be a sex addict, other than that it's pleasing and you simply kept doing it so much so that you now depend upon it like people who "need" their coffee/sugar fix, or if it's really bad like a Cocaine/LOVE(yes I mean love)/Mania addict, or even a addrenaline junky. But with out knowing more about who you are, where you came from, how you were raised, what your morals/values and beliefs are; there really isn't much more i can explain.

I am curious if you've ever been abused before? Or what your past relationships have been like, or your previous sexual expereinces?

One more thing, what did you think of yourself when you were younger, and what do you think of yourself now? Pysically, intelectaully, socially, personally, and so on. I see you find that being there for those men is serving the purpose of helping them, but i'm affraid that it is probably more the opposite, as they are holding onto a relationship that is baised on money and not personal interaction on an intimate and non-buisness like level. It sets unrealistic ideals, and then they may either keep treating people as they do, or cheat on thier lovers, or simply become too dependent upon you to supply them with "pleasure"/joy in life and thus they are addicted to you. What happens when you leave, or if you decide you don't want to be there any more? More importantly, what kind of purpose are you really serving? Any one can give some one money, but to teach them to make it on their own, that is not easy and is the only way to "help" some one. If they can't make it on their own, then they wont make it at all. IF you are a councelor what kind of councel do you give? Is it sound, or is it foolish? Can those people really benafit from it? Are you really providing comfort, and possibly lies to these people so they can feel good about them selves while they avoid the cold hard truth? Or do you tell them to pull up their socks, and believe in them selves, they can go tell their significant other that they are through, then tell them they need to stop seeing you so they can find them selves????


Does that sound about right??

May peace and kindness be with you.

Thank for the coment... I will try and answer all your questions...
Do I feel something is missing? Yes and no. I don't think Im missing out on anything in life, but I do think I'm missing the tools to be able to either stand proud to be who I am or admit I have a problem.


I do know who I am, even in the life of abscurities. I know I feel and live differently to the magority of people in the world. But I do know who I am.. I'm just not sure if who I am is OK to be.

I lie to those I love because the truth would hurt them. No mother or father wishes to hear their daughter is a prostitute. I come from a good family with a strict upbringing. My mother a teacher, my dad a carpenter, a little brother in the police force. This is the only lie I tell them. They do know I have a sex problem. They know about my promiscuity.

I was never abused as a child. Never raped as a teenager. Never had any bad sexual experiences. My past relationships were all different. I left home at 16, by choice. I just wanted to be independent. I still went to high school and graduated with very good grades. When I was 16-18 I was very submissive, very quiet but I slept around a lot. After that I had long term partners. My last relationship was 3 years ago.. it lasted 5 yrs, and I ended it when I started cheating on him.

I liked myself as a child in all aspects.
Yes I give my clients sound advice. For instance, one man came to see me because his wife of 20yrs didn't want sex anymore. We talked about it and after hearing his story, I could see he was no longer doing all the nice things that get us women going (ie helping around the house, he never hugged her, he never called her sweetheart anymore etc) so I told him to get his butt into gear and start doing all those things that he used to, to make her feel special.. 2 weeks later he came back in to see me, not to have sex, but to tell me he tried it and it worked.. and I have a million more true examples like that.

Yes I do think I'm helping them in a positive way.

P.S. Meow420, you tell us one thing, but it doens't add up with your questions??

"because the rest of the world thinks im doing something wrong... im happy with my life.. i do some bizarre and somewhat crazy things but im happy. I do hide my work from 99% of people in my life tho."- You

You are worried about what the rest of the world thinks, but you can't help that, you can only focus on what you think, if you think you are happy then be content with that, because you can't not make some one else happy, they have to choose that for themselves.

As for the 99% of people that don't know what you do, you may need to come clean and face the fact that they may not like it one bit, and clear your concience, or accept that you are lying to them and that lying is ok. Is lying in conflict with one of your morals?

"So when ppl start saying things to me, it makes me question how i live my life. Am i immoral? Am i a bad person? Am i acting in a negative way? It doesnt feel like that, but maybe im sooo consumed with sex and things, that im just not seeing the reality of it all... make sense?"-You



take care.

The worlds opinion can weigh you done sometims.. have you ever done anyting that the magority of people would go "boo" at? Its hard. Even within the sex industry, there are women there who think I am strange. They do the job for money and money alone. Even as a fellow sex worker, they do not understand the enjoyment I get out of my job. So if even hookers are questioning my mental state, how can I not start questioning myself?


Lying to those I love is hard but id rather that one lie then break their hearts. If they knew the exact situation I was in and understood the way the sex industry works in this country then they might not be as concernd but all they see on TV about brothels is drugs, horrible men and bad things. Which is NOT the environment I work in.

Why indeed? As I said, "...You may need to come clean and face the fact that they may not like it one bit, and clear your concience, or accept that you are lying to them and that lying is ok. Is lying in conflict with one of your morals?"

I agree, what she does with her life is her business, but would she be cool if they lied to her?? The door swings both ways, and if you can't handle others treating you the way you treat them, then you are inconflict with your values/morals. I'ts on her to decide what is right or wrong, not you, not me, and not those 99%.

So why does she choose to keep it to her self? Is she ashamed? Does it bother her that they would know? Is she affraid they'd think less of her?

Why indeed would they have to know?

Peace and kindness be with you
Yes I am "cool" with those I love lying to me to protect me. And of course in the past they have. Not justify lying but sometimes I guess you do it to spare those you love from pain.

I am not ashamed of what I do, but to me it is a private thing. I don't dicuss which position I like best with them so telling them I accept money for sex is kind of in that category to me.

I don't think they need to know. In the past I have worked and had a partner at the same time I have lied to them also. In my head I justified it by saying "well if they arent paying my bills, they dont need to know what im doing" I have since then changed that. I won't work while I am with someone, but then I met the married man and with him I can tell all. He is the first "relationship" I've been in where I can be totally honest and its nice.

Having sex with mutliple strangers IS a dangerous situation. Have they all been tested for STD's before they come to you? Probably not. Your ARE in a dangerous situation whether you want to admit it or not. Have you thought about STD's? How often are you checked? Do you use condoms for any intercourse and oral pleasure?

No the clients are not tested by blood BUT every time I see one, I do a health check before they have a shower. I check their penis for any new lumps etc, I squeeze their penis to see if any unusual colour comes from it.

Most of my clients have partners and would die if they took something home to their wives so majoriity are very clean.

Of course I think about std's which is why I NEVER do anything without a condom (sex and oral). I use dams for oral sex also(when they go down on me). I do not kiss my clients.

I have a regulat health check every 3 months which I have to submit to my workplace. It is a law in this country that girls MUST be checked every 3 months and provide documentation to the brothel.

So, really, I agree, why can't she say, "I'm a sex worker."?? Only I'm not asking others, i'm asking her and only her.

Peace and kindness be with you.

In some situations, yes I can say "im a sex worker" with ease... but as soon as I do, if there are men around, they all think they can get me into bed for free, they all automatically assume I'm a slut.

To say it to my family... well that is a different story. I think my mum would blame herself.. something she didn't do as a child and that would be most untrue. My family has awlways been there for me. Even when I've been a little cow to them. I think they have put up with enough crap from me.. now at 30yrs old id like to save them some heart ache I guess.

I Don't have much time so I'll leave you with thank you for answering my questions, I only read a little bit, but from it I got a HUGE amount of insight.

You say you know who you are, but you don't know if that's OK or not... You know you are not like other people... Try to protect your loved ones from the truth...

So who are you? Why is who you are not OK? And most interestingly of all, where do you fit in the picture? Where do you belong? (word to the wise, often we can see the obscurities, but it seems the obvious eludes us. In other words, the biggest obscurity of all is that which is right in front of our faces, and thus gives us a fauls sense of many things/situations. Try to be mindful of that, and perhaps you will see something you didn't before.)

I will read the rest later, and reply as soon as I can, but in the mean time, May peace and kindness be with you.

You say you know who you are, but you don't know if that's ok or not... You know you are not like other people... Try to protect your loved ones from the truth...

So who are you? Why is who you are not ok? and most interestingly of all, where do you fit in the picture? Where do you belong?

Who am I? I am a 30yr old sex worker, who loves sex, who is happy in most aspects of my life, who is kind and giving, who loves her family dearly, a good friend, an individual, a law abiding citizen, an active member of my towns community... I am me! (im really not sure how you wanted me to address this question sorry)

Why is who I am not OK? Well I think I am OK. Well I thought I was. Like I said before, its outside influences that are leading me to believe that who I am and what I do are wrong.

Where do I fit in the picture? Im not sure how to answer also... I don't know how I fit. Do I fit in there?

Hey Meow. The fact that you are exploring the feelings and opinions of others is something many do not do. That is probably why you have so many successes working. You take your clients, just as they are. If there were more people with your attitude, I think our world would be a better place.

Hey Meow. The fact that you are exploring the feelings and opinions of others is something many do not do. That is probably why you have so many successes working. You take your clients, just as they are. If there were more people with your attitude, I think our world would be a better place.

Thank you sooooo much for this comment x x x You really made me feel proud x x thank you

Hey Meow. The fact that you are exploring the feelings and opinions of others is something many do not do. That is probably why you have so many successes working. You take your clients, just as they are. If there were more people with your attitude, I think our world would be a better place.

I agree.
There have been a few people who have come on here who are strippers... they actually sounds like dirty strippers just from the way they type.
From the way you talk, in general and about yourself it sounds like you have your feet pretty firmly on the ground. You take all the precautions and understand what your work means.

I understand why you don't want to tell people about your work... yes it is none of their business but also the fact that people or so quick to judge.
You say the words "sex worker" to most people and they will instantly take it negatively.

I lie to those i love because the truth would hurt them. No mother or father wishes to hear their daughter is a prostitute. I come from a good family with a strict upbringing. My mother a teacher, my dad a carpenter, a little brother in the police force. This is the only lie i tell them. They do know i have a sex problem. They know about my promiscuity.

I was never abused as a child. Never raped as a teenager. Never had any bad sexual experiences. My past relationships were all different. I left home at 16, by choice. I just wanted to be independant. I still went to high school and graduated with very good grades. When i was 16-18 I was very submissive, very quiet but i slept around alot. After that i had long term partners. My last relationship was 3 years ago.. it lasted 5 yrs, and i ended it when i started cheating on him.

I liked myself as a child in all aspects.
Yes i give my clients sound advice. For instance, one man came to see me cos his wife of 20yrs didnt want sex anymore. We talked about it and after hearing his story, i could see he was no longer doing all the nice things that get us women going (ie helping around the house, he never hugged her, he never called her sweetheart anymore etc) so i told him to get his butt into gear and start doin all those things that he used to, to make her feel special.. 2 weeks later he came back in to see me, not to have sex, but to tell me he tried it and it worked.. and i have a million more true examples like that.

Yes i do think im helping them in a positive way.

Hmmm, Other than the sex addiction, why did you choose what you are doing? If you could do something else what would it be?

Hmmm, strict upbringing eh? (I'm not trying to sound arrogant/condesending, I just say Hmm when I'm having a hard time deciding how to phrase or say something. Articulation isn't my strong point.) How did you learn about sex? When did you become sexually active, and were you addicted from the start, or did something trigger it, (I'm not calling you a drug addict but... ) did you ever do any drugs?

So, are there any other reasons for your keeping this seecret from your family? Other than the obvious?

Wow, you were a tough/smart girl, more than I can say for myself. Submissive, why did that happen? Do you know? When did it happen? Did something happen that made you feel like that, or was it just who you were? Why did you sleep around so much? Or was it just the sex addiction? The 5yr relationship, did you cheat because of sex addiction?

Hmmm, did he have sex with you? The married guy that you helped? That does seem like sound advice, indeed.

Perhaps you are helping in a positive way. You seem fairly aware of things, but this issue of "is it ok to do what you do?"

Please understand that nothing I say is absolute, and is only suggestive. Only you can know what is to be done, or whether what I ask is relevant, or helpful.


Peace and kindness be with you.

So besides the married guy you asked about in your previous question you see other men too? I see why you said about liking it this way so they don't get attached.

No I am not narrow minded that you enjoy your 'sex worker' job but personally I do not see how having sex is therapy, counselling or whatever you want to call it especially when the other guy is married.

the worlds opinion can weigh u done sometims.. have u ever done anyting that the magority of people would go "boo" at? Its hard. Even within the sex industry, there are women there who think i am strange. They do the job for money and money alone. Even as a fellow sex worker, they do not understand the enjoyment i get out of my job. So if even hookers are questioning my mental state, how can i not start questioning myself?


Lying to those i love is hard but id rather that one lie then break their hearts. If they knew the exact situation i was in and understood the way the sex industry works in this country then they might not be as concernd but all they see on tv about brothels is drugs, horrible men and bad things. Whcih is NOT the environment i work in.

Yes, opinions of others are rather harsh, cold, and cruel; but most of all ignorent and Foolish. Yes, I do all the time. People don't like doing the things I do because I don't like to party (a fear of crowds) or drink as much as every one else. (family hystory of alcoholism.) I also don't want to be so selfish like most people. Big house, two people live in it? (Really, seriously, we kill how many achers of forest to make one house. How many animals homes are destroyed? Then when they wander into town we kill them because we are territorial? Who are the real animals? Those who are incapable of intelegence, or those who choose to be ignorent?) We don't need as much as we have, but every one wants more, and more, until there is nothing left to have. I don't know how to survive in Canada with out being like that, and I Don't know any one who shares my veiws, so I stand alone, broken and sucked into that same life style I hate. I really want to be a social worker, to help children/youth. I wanted to start a program where maybe I could educate them how to get a long, be individuals, respect the world around them, and appreciate living with a little less, to give a little more. Yeah, I get strange looks, told how stupid that is, that I'm crazy, and as a result I've isoalted myself from most others. I spend most of my time alone, because I voice myself. Especailly when some one makes foolish assumptions about things on the news, or other people. I dislike people who think that life works one way, and only one way. I believe that "life is pliable." It is adaptable, and always changing. That's why anything is possible, because things are always in motion and ever changing. (Sorry that was so long, just wanted to show you, you are not alone.)

You do seem to break the mold, I think you'd be a facinating person to study. (Sorry, psychology is a passion of mine.)

Self doubt is a painful thing, but doubting (in other words questioning) the answers is painful too, but grants, those who are willing to ablige, wisdom. It is hard to ignore the opinions of others, when we have only our own to defend us. Try to remember,"Don't under estimate the power of one, for one may very well be more powerful than any combined..." -Nestorian

When we learn to Love/forgive/respect/know ourselves we can finally be ourselves. When that happens, we are very strong and our will becomes more than most can bare; thus, we can pay no attention to the tellings of others opinions about us and of how many people think we are less than we are. Yes, we can be at peace with ourselves, and rather than take in negative energy, we let it pass through us so we can be ourselves and let others find what truth lay before them. In other words, people will say things about us, be we will simply let it go, and bemindful of who we are, and that they precieve things for themselves; thus cause their own suffering. Mind you there are things that guid us there.

People will see what they want to see and fear will dominate their mind, obscuring the truth until they can't see past their own point of view. I understand how hard that must be.

Peace and kindness be with you.

Yes i am "cool" with those i love lying to me to protect me. and of course in the past they have. Not justify lying but sometimes i guess you do it to spare those u love from pain.

I am not ashamed of what i do, but to me it is a private thing. I dont dicuss which position i like best with them so tellin them i accept money for sex is kinda in that catagory to me.

I dont think they need to know. In the past i have worked and had a partner at the same time i have lied to them also. In my head i justified it by saying "well if they arent paying my bills, they dont need to know what im doing" I have since then changed that. I wont work while i am with someone, but then i met the married man and with him i can tell all. He is the first "relationship" ive been in where i can be totally honest and its nice.

Fair enough. I'd rather the truth, for then I can solve the situation, rather than suffer the, more often than not, impending consequences. There are times to lie for me, like I loved this one girl, she had BF issues, they broke up, she and I got together, then they got back together. She asked me, "Are you ok? Are you upset? Are you mad? Do you hate me?..." and so on. I told her, "Yes, i'm fine. These are my feelings and i must deal with them myself. No i'm not upset. (that was a lie, i was torn.) No i'm not mad. (true, i was not mad at her, just myself, but oddly not very much so.) No, I love you actually.(true)" For the longest time when she'd call me to tell me how much of a jerck he was being, and she would ask, "are you ok, how do you feel about all this?" I would only reply, "I"m fine." Then she'd press the matter, I'd reply, "My feelings are my own, so don't worry about Me." Till she finally thretoned to stop talking to me if I didn't tell her how I felt... Well she didn't talk to me any more any way, as i expressed the deepest darkest part of me to her. Depression's a hard thing to put off while love sick, and greiving. I think she got more than she barganed for. Or maybe it was that I told her I just wanted her BF to treat her better... I dont know. Any who, I try to avoid lying as it is like taking responsibility away from some one, and thus their freedom to choose what is best for them. Even if it hurts. At least they can deal with it.

Fair enough.

"well if they aren't paying my bills, they don't need to know what I'm doing"-you
This seems like you would not want to be with some one, as it's kind of a big thing. I know you said you changed that, but I just want to know who you think of my reasoning. Sex, and STDs, yes you get tested, and are "safe", but nothing is 100% and you can get an STD from kissing and such. I think the most known are syphillis and herpes. Any who, a condom could break or what ever. Do you think your partner has a right to know? But only if you are kissing or sexual? Other wise you are taking the responsibility from that person to keep them selve safe, no?
At any rate, I think that you made a good desicion changing that.

"I met the married man and with him I can tell all. He is the first "relationship" I've been in where I can be totally honest and its nice."-you

hmm... the guy you helped? with his wife? Sorry i'm confused, what is your relationship? Work, sexual partners, "dating"?

Peace and kindness be with you.

In some situations, yes i can say "im a sex worker" with ease... but as soon as i do, if there are men around, they all think they can get me into bed for free, they all automatically assume im a slut.

To say it to my family....well that is a different story. I think my mum would blame herself..something she didnt do as a child and that would be most untrue. My family has awlways been there for me. Even when ive been a little cow to them. I think they have put up with enough crap from me.. now at 30yrs old id like to save them some heart ache i guess.

Yes, some people do get like that when they sense there is opportunity for a free romp, sorry if that's offencive.

You deffinately have boundaries, but I wonder...


Lets try this on, if you are with some one and you love them, you stop working for them but then you find out that they've been going to a brothel on the side, keeping it to themselves, what then? And more so, what if you have kids, 2 of them. One 6 the other 8. Would you leave him, or stay? What if he said he wasn't going to stop going whether you stay or not?

Sorry to put you on the spot but I'm curious as I've said you are a facinating person.

I hope I've not crossed any lines, if so feel free to tell me so.

Peace and kindness be with you.

Who am i? I am a 30yr old sex worker, who loves sex, who is happy in most aspects of my life..... Why is who i am not ok? Well i think I am ok. Hello Meow:

I've read the whole thing. I think you're OK too.

excon

yes it is none of their business but also the fact that people or so quick to judge.
You say the words "sex worker" to most people and they will instantly take it negatively.

Its funny because a lot of sex workers hate the term "prostitute". To call them that is like a mortal sin lol.. Most use "Sex worker" or "Escort".

Me personally, I call a spade a spade. Im a Pristitute, Escort, Sex Worker, Whore... Yep all those things, and I have no hang ups about people using any of the terms... it is what it is :)

But in other peoples ears, you're right, instantly negative thoughts! If only I could change that perception that people have...

Hmmm, Other than the sex addiction, why did you choose what you are doing?? If you could do something else what would it be?

Hmmm, strict upbringing eh? (I'm not trying to sound arrogant/condesending, I just say Hmm when i'm having a hard time deciding how to phrase or say something. Articulation isn't my strong point.) How did you learn about sex? When did you become sexually active, and were you addicted from the start, or did something trigger it, (I'm not calling you a drug addict but...) did you ever do any drugs??

So, are there any other reasons for your keeping this seecret from your family?? Other than the obvious??

Wow, you were a tough/smart girl, more than i can say for myself. Submissive, why did that happen? Do you know? When did it happen? Did something happen that made you feel like that, or was it just who you were?? Why did you sleep around so much?? or was it just the sex addiction?? The 5yr relationship, did you cheat because of sex addiction??

Hmmm, did he have sex with you?? The married guy that you helped? That does seem like sound advice, indeed.

Perhaps you are helping in a positive way. You seem fairly aware of things, but this issue of "is it ok to do what you do?"

Please understand that nothing I say is absolute, and is only suggestive. Only you can know what is to be done, or whether what i ask is relevant, or helpful.


Peace and kindness be with you.

Why did I choose what I am doing? - If I could choose something else what would it be? - I was never one to have a career focus at any time in my life. |When I was little I changed my mind every 10mins as to what I wanted to be when I grew up! I was getting really good grades at school (they got better when I moved out of home into a more independent lifestyle) but I got freaked out after doing an estimate of my TER (a university entrance scoring) - I got a really high estimate... I felt so much pressure (from the entire teaching staff) That I quit school altogether. I did administration work for a few years, got over the office poiltics and startd looking for a new industry path. I answered an ad for a "Receptionist" position. It didn't say what type of business it was though. When I got there I realise it was some kind of "sex" place. At that point in my life I would NEVER set foot in a brothel. But I was there, so I went ahead with the job interview.. By the time the manager explained the job and told me about what went on, I pretty much BEGGED him for the job. He wasn't going to hire me, due to my age (21) But after I pleaded for hi to give me one chance, he agreed. I worked there for a few months, a 5star massage parlour (rub and tug) with strictly no sex on premises. The ladies were all educated, beautiful women that were just doing this kind of work on the side. They nearly all had "normal" 9-5 jobs, there was a solicitor, a nurse, a gym instructor, 2 med students and the list goes on. There was no drugs on premise. I looked at the sex industry in a new light. I wanted to become a part of it. All the girls knew I would "jump the counter" (become a sex worker).. they could see how in awe of it I was... that's how it started I guess... As to what I would be doing if I could do anything... as I said, I was never career minded. After doing this job 8 yrs, I know I don't have that many more years of looking young and able to make money, so as a plan be I have looked into several couselling degrees (how ironic, when here I am needing a counsellor more than most here lmao).. social work... everything that deals with people and their problems...

How did I learn about sex? I don't know how I learned about sex... but I do know that I started masterbating at age 5 or younger. My mum relishes in telling people stories about how she would come in the room and I would have my hands down my pants... I was also caught at 6yrs with a 7yr old little girl next door... we were touching each other. It had been my idea. Wow... that sounds messed up.. oh dear..

Absolutely I have done drugs. I did have a weed habit for a few years but went to detox and everything is under control. I am drug free in my day to day life.. but I must admit, on my birthday and new years, I like to have a "good" time. I want to ad, I never used needles. Ever.

There are no other reasons to hide this from my family I wish I could tell them. I really do.. I think about it a lot.. but there is no way I want to see that look of disappointment in their eyes..

I think you are getting confused... I told a story about a married guy I helped, but there is another married man that I speak of that I am in a "relationship" with..

Hope I'm not boring you lol.. tell me to shut up :)

So besides the married guy you asked about in your previous question you see other men too? I see why you said about liking it this way so they don't get attached.

No I am not narrow minded that you enjoy your 'sex worker' job but personally I do not see how having sex is therapy, counselling or whatever you want to call it especially when the other guy is married.

Yes I do see other guys too, but normally not more than once.. (like a one night stand)

With your comment on the counselling thing... most guys go to brothels and such because they are looking for something. They don't know where else to go. Half the time, guys only actually have sex with prostitutes is because that is the façade they hide behind. What they really might want is someone to cuddle, someone to massage, to feel a women's skin after not having one in their life.. ots not about the sex.. but they think that's what a man should do. He paid for sex, so he should have sex, even if that's not what he is desiring.. what they really pay for is my time..

[QUOTE=Nestorian;1758570]
You do seem to break the mold, I think you'd be a facinating person to study. (Sorry, psychology is a passion of mine.)

[QUOTE]

Isn't that what you're doing now anyway? :)

"well if they arent paying my bills, they dont need to know what im doing"-you
This seems like you would not want to be with some one, as it's kind of a big thing. I know you said you changed that, but I just want to know who you think of my reasoning. Sex, and STDs, yes you get tested, and are "safe", but nothing is 100% and you can get an STD from kissing and such. I think the most known are syphillis and herpes. Any who, a condom could break or what ever. Do you think your partner has a right to know? But only if you are kissing or sexual? Other wise you are taking the responsibility from that person to keep them selve safe, no?
At any rate, I think that you made a good desicion changing that.

"i met the married man and with him i can tell all. He is the first "relationship" ive been in where i can be totally honest and its nice."-you

hmm... the guy you helped? with his wife? Sorry i'm confused, what is your relationship? Work, sexual partners, "dating"??

Peace and kindness be with you.

The "they aint paying my bills" statement was because never had I ,at that point, or even since then, never have I been with a man that earned as much money as me. Now this is not an issue for me.. I'm happy to provide for my man, what's mine is yours 100%. But at the time I started thinking like that, my boyfriend at the time was unemployed and was draining me financially, even when I had a "normal" job. I never held money over him as a tool, he was free to take money from my wallet without asking.. . but yeah it was around then I justified the lies about where I worked by saying that statement.

Yes you can get diseasess from kissing, but I do not kiss my clients. I only kiss one man at the present time. Absolutely condoms can break, but there are ways of preventing this. I always use lubricant, I occasionally have a feel down there during sex, just to make sure I'm not dry (and also just a useful fact for you boys.. u may hate condoms because you lose sensitivity etc BUT they can also be an issue for us girls! They dry me the hell up!) and if I am, I stop and reapply! I think my single non-sex workr friends have more accidents like that in a year than I have had in my whole life time.

Absolutely, for me, I would want any future partners to know if I was still working. Its not fair on them not to tell them.

You have gotten 2 different married men confused ( I also posted another question about my relationship with him) there is an example of a married client I used in this thread though.. not the same people though..

Yes, some people do get like that when they sense there is oportunity for a free romp, sorry if thats offencive.

You deffinately have boundaries, but I wonder...


Lets try this on, if you are with some one and you love them, you stop working for them but then you find out that they've been going to a brothel on the side, keeping it to them selves, what then? And more so, what if you have kids, 2 of them. one 6 the other 8. Would you leave him, or stay? What if he said he wasn't going to stop going whether you stay or not?

Sorry to put you on the spot but i'm curious as I've said you are a facinating person.

I hope I've not crossed any lines, if so feel free to tell me so.

Peace and kindness be with you.

OK if I'm in love with someone and have kids to them, then they will know my views on fidelity in a relationship.. If they asked me to leave work, I would. If they didn't ask, I would stay. My partner would have the same freedom as I would like to have. Im fine with my partner going to a brothel. Im fine with my partner having a one night stand. As long as it doesn't take away from my needs of him. Say for instance - he wanted to have sex 7days a week but I only wanted it 2 times a week (will never happen, but this is an exmple lol) OK, I wouldn't say to him, "i only want it 2 times so thats all ur getting" I would make sure I get my 2 times an then he is free to do whoever he wants. I'm not going to be selfish and suppress someone's needs and wants. Just the same as I do not want to be constricted to monogomy. In saying that though.. im not ruling monogomy for me out altogether.. it just doesn't suit me right now...

So in answer to that, if I caught him going to a brothel, I would say "I hope you didnt put that on the credit card" and give him a cheeky grin x x

Hello Meow:

I've read the whole thing. I think you're ok too.

excon
:) thank you for your comment.. short and sweet x x x

Okay, seriously---moderating this thread is driving me CRAZY because of the chat speak.

Any further posts where a poster cannot spell out "you", "you're", "your"... or any OTHER chat speak will simply be deleted.

If YOU are an adult, then YOU can type out all of YOUR words. Period.

If you're not adult enough to type like an adult, you don't belong in the Adult Sexuality threads.

Again--any further chat speak will be deleted with NO explanation or apology.

Okay, seriously---moderating this thread is driving me CRAZY because of the chat speak.

Any further posts where a poster cannot spell out "you", "you're", "your"....or any OTHER chat speak will simply be deleted.

If YOU are an adult, then YOU can type out all of YOUR words. Period.

If you're not adult enough to type like an adult, you don't belong in the Adult Sexuality threads.

Again--any further chat speak will be deleted with NO explanation or apology.

Ah hi, um Im really sorry that I am guilty of doing these things, but in my defense, I didn't know that that was the rules on this site. Really sorry.. Will try not to let it happen again

Why did I choose what i am doing? - If I could choose something else what would it be? - I was never one to have a career focus at any time in my life. |When i was little i changed my mind every 10mins as to what i wanted to be when i grew up! I was getting really good grades at school (they got better when i moved out of home into a more independant lifestyle) but i got freaked out after doing an estimate of my TER (a university entrance scoring) - I got a really high estimate... I felt so much pressure (from the entire teaching staff) That i quit school altogether. I did administration work for a few years, got over the office poiltics and startd looking for a new industry path. I answered an ad for a "Receptionist" position. It didnt say what type of business it was tho. When i got there i realise it was some kind of "sex" place. At that point in my life i would NEVER set foot in a brothel. But i was there, so i went ahead with the job interview.. By the time the manager explained the job and told me about what went on, i pretty much BEGGED him for the job. He wasnt going to hire me, due to my age (21) But after i pleaded for hi to give me one chance, he agreed. I worked there for a few months, a 5star massage parlour (rub n tug) with strictly no sex on premises. The ladies were all educated, beautiful women that were just doin this kind of work on the side. They nearly all had "normal" 9-5 jobs, there was a solicitor, a nurse, a gym instructor, 2 med students and the list goes on. There was no drugs on premise. I looked at the sex industry in a new light. I wanted to become a part of it. All the girls knew i would "jump the counter" (become a sex worker)..they could see how in awe of it i was.... thats how it started i guess... As to what I would be doing if i could do anything...as i said, i was never career minded. After doin this job 8 yrs, i know i dont have that many more years of looking young and able to make money, so as a plan b i have looked into several couselling degrees (how ironic, when here i am needing a counsellor more than most here lmao).. social work... everything that deals with people and their problems...

How did i learn about sex? I dont know how i learned about sex...but i do know that i started masterbating at age 5 or younger. My mum relishes in tellin people stories about how she would come in the room and i would have my hands down my pants... I was also caught at 6yrs with a 7yr old little girl next door...we were touchin each other. It had been my idea. Wow... that sounds messed up.. oh dear..

Absolutely i have done drugs. I did have a weed habit for a few years but went to detox and everything is under control. I am drug free in my day to day life.. but i must admit, on my birthday and new years, i like to have a "good" time. I want to ad, I never used needles. Ever.

There are no other reasons to hide this from my family I wish i could tell them. I really do.. i think about it alot.. but there is no way i want to see that look of disappointment in their eyes..

I think you are getting confused... i told a story about a married guy i helped, but there is another married man that i speak of that i am in a "relationship" with..

Hope im not boring u lol.. tell me to shut up :)

Boring me? Hardly, I'm fascinated by you, and how you think/assess things. Not to be crossing lines, but, If anything I'd want to meet with you and see what your daily life is like and the people you meet, the secrets you keep, and so forth. You are unlike any person I've ever really known. And I value all perspectives, for that is how I can better understand others. By getting to know you, I get to know others, and more importantly myself. I hope that doesn't bother you.

Hmmm, no being a counselor and social worker isn't really an odd desire nor is it by any means a poor career choice when you think you need help. See, it seems that those who know or learn first hand about such things as being confused about life and are in need of help learn the skills necessarry to help others. This I call the branching effect, as some one teaches you and many others, or tries to, then some of them/you try teaching some as well, and it keeps branching out. You can also relate, and understand better than some one who hasn't expereienced the same kind of lost, or confusing situations.

No your sexual behaviour when you were young seems normal. Young children do those kinds of things to explore their bodies and to learn about themselves and others, by playing doctor/nurse or what have you. Your mum embarrassing you with stories seems normal too. Nothing weird about that.

Hmmm, "good time" as in Alcohol and pot, or more like cocaine/crack/meth/etc (Minus the needle drugs.) Please be careful with these things, as they are all dangerous and cause us to not be ourselves, but more like mindless Zombies. (Sorry, that is more my opinion, and it's none of my business, so no worries/pressure to answer any of that.)

As for your protecting your family, be careful, and be mindful of your feelings on the matters encompassing that asspect of your life.

Ah, very well. So, this other man you are in a relationship with... (If you don't mind my asking?) Why are you in a "relationship" with him when he is married? (It happens all the time, people often agree to unrealistic ideals and end up feeling confused, afraid, angery, traped, and like a failure. Till death do us part? Kind of a load of BS, unless two people are truly dedicated, other wise, its all meaningless and a lie in the end any way.) What do you think of the man you are in a relationship with's wife? How do you think she would feel if she found out about you two? Do you feel remorse or bad for allowing him in your life? Why do you trust him when he is "cheating" on his wife, and breaking his vow to love her till he or she dies? Do they have kids and do you wonder what will happen to them, how they might see/precive you? Do you think that your sex worker life has altered your perception of your relationships, as well as those of others?
Can you define what a relationship is?

Once again, I hope I'm not digging too deep, as I'm told that I'm often too deep. This is one major reason people act defensive to me I s'pose, but if you can't face the dark things you keep deep within, then how can you ever hope to truly find yourself? Thank you for answering my questions, as I'm sure they are annoying by now and aggrivating. My sinceirest apologies for that. I am simply interested in what makes you who you are, and if you are indeed "happy"/content/saticfied.


May peace and kindness be with you.

[QUOTE=Nestorian;1758570]
You do seem to break the mold, I think you'd be a facinating person to study. (Sorry, psychology is a passion of mine.)

[QUOTE]

Isn't that what you're doing now anyway? :)

P.S. to the comment I made on this post, I meant "see" as in have a better picture of what you are saying, and have a regular time to just pick at things, and go over them with you, and discover as much as I can about this mysterious person that seems to unlike any one I've known. You are living only one of many possibilites, and I always did like to keep an open mind to any and all possibilies so as to help me help others. I'm sure I'm bound to meet young ones that are in a similar trade as you, though it's illeagal here. To know as much about you as I can, will give me access to different ideas on how to help them/reach them/speak to them/advise them and so on.

Ah hi, um Im really sorry that i am guilty of doing these things, but in my defense, i didn't know that that was the rules on this site. Really sorry.. Will try not to let it happen again

All the site rules are under the 'Help' section at the top of every page...

Ask Me Help Desk - FAQ (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/faq.php)

Ah, very well. So, this other man you are in a relationship with... (If you don't mind my asking?) .

The questions you asked about my boyfriend can all be answered in that thread (check it out! I hate repeating myself :) if the answer isn't there to what you want to know let me know and I will tell you )

My drug extent is alcohol and weed mostly, but I have taken a few exctasy pills, had a few lines of coke.. but never a habit of anything except weed. And I have never worked as a sex worker under the influence of any drug, except perhapa a wine at dinner..

Im glad you find me interesting, I was sure I would have bored people to death :)

ok if im in love with someone and have kids to them, then they will know my views on fidelity in a relationship.. If they asked me to leave work, i would. If they didnt ask, i would stay. My partner would have the same freedom as i would like to have. Im fine with my partner goin to a brothel. Im fine with my partner having a one night stand. As long as it doesnt take away from my needs of him. Say for instance - he wanted to have sex 7days a week but i only wanted it 2 times a week (will never happen, but this is an exmple lol) ok, i wouldnt say to him, "i only want it 2 times so thats all ur getting" I would make sure i get my 2 times an then he is free to do whoever he wants. im not going to be selfish and suppress someones needs and wants. Just the same as i do not want to be constricted to monogomy. In saying that tho..im not ruling monogomy for me out altogether.. it just doesnt suit me right now...

So in answer to that, if i caught him goin to a brothel, i would say "I hope you didnt put that on the credit card" and give him a cheeky grin x x

I'd have more to say on this post, but it would be wiser fr me to leave that for you to figure out on your own.

What I will say is, be ever mindful of the connections you have to the world around you; for that may one day prove most painful...

May peace and kindness be with you.

Ah hi, um Im really sorry that i am guilty of doing these things, but in my defense, i didn't know that that was the rules on this site. Really sorry.. Will try not to let it happen again

You may consider reading the rules of the site by going to the help option in the same tool bar as; Ask, Answer, Myprofile. A lot of people should be reading them, me even. I've read them a few times, but get into bad habbits as so manny others seem to be following "other rules".

Just to let you know.

The questions you asked about my bf can all be answered in that thread (check it out! I hate repeating myself :) if the answer isn't there to what you want to know let me know and i will tell you )

My drug extent is alcohol and weed mostly, but i have taken a few exctasy pills, had a few lines of coke.. but never a habit of anything except weed. And i have never worked as a sex worker under the influence of any drug, except perhapa a wine at dinner..

Im glad you find me interesting, I was sure I would have bored people to death :)

I will look into it then.

I advise caution, as those are mind altering, and if you are happy as your are, then why do them? I hear people talk about how fun drinking and partying are, but I also seem to notice how muct they hate being them self, or simply just hate them self so that is their "release", altering the reality they live in so that they can feel more "free" and relaxed. Even I drink, I'm no saint and the odd bit is I am aware of how much I hate (if not hate, than dislike, self conscious, afraid, uncomfortable with.) myself and that I too use just like any other drug user. Every one's got their reasons, but they are not what they would think, for they have not considered the reality to the action. We use, and it alters what we think/feel/act and thus must mean that we are in actual fact "unhappy" with who we are... If you can't have fun sober, than can "YOU" have fun at all? (Ooo, this is getting super deep, I've never really considered this so deep and put the pieces together. Now a lot of things make sense to me, in an odd sort of round about way; but, as I've said before, "Life is pliable, ever changing." For me, it means many things, but most importantly; the answers/truths/realities will always be shaping, molding, creatively being altered, even if something remains the same for years it still can change in an instant. But enough on that gibberish.

Definitely not boring. I can only hope that you don't become offended by what I say, as I too am only human and have a perception of my own on life.

Peace and kindness be with you.

Okay, I am confused. If you enjoy your work and will do it to the end then why do will you quit if a counselor told you to? But if he doesn't tell you to you will continue doing what your doing?

If you need someone to tell you to stop doing what your doing then I will "stop". Does that mean your going stop and quit dating the married guy?

Okay, I am confused. If you enjoy your work and will do it to the end then why do will you quit if a counselor told you to? But if he doesn't tell you to you will continue doing what your doing?

If you need someone to tell you to stop doing what your doing then I will "stop". Does that mean your going stop and quit dating the married guy?

I don't need someone to tell me to stop what Im doing.. the reason I am seeking counselling is because I don't know if how Im living my life is OK. (Morally a lot have said "no" I am not living a good life because it is not a good life for THEM, does it rule out it being OK for someone like me?

The industry I work in is an industry of controversy. Am I wrong in enjoying it? Am I hurting myself being involved with a married man? (Yes I know dating a married man is immoral, but it in a weird way, it completes my life. I am happy. I wake up every morning smilng)

Ive just woken up so excuse me if this post doesn't make sense :)

I will look into it then.

I advise caution, as those are mind altering, and if you are happy as your are, then why do them? .

I don't do drugs on a regular basis. I think you are misunderstanding me. I celebrate my birthday by having a pill or a line of coke but that is a once a year event.

I do not need to be on drugs to exist in this world. I do not take drugs at work. I do not take drugs to escape anything.

I get a high from sex though... that is my "drug" of choice.

I dont do drugs on a regular basis. I think you are misunderstanding me. I celebrate my birthday by having a pill or a line of coke but that is a once a year event.

I do not need to be on drugs to exist in this world. I do not take drugs at work. I do not take drugs to escape anything.

I get a high from sex though... that is my "drug" of choice.

Perhaps I did, but is seems you may have missed mine as well... I meant that doing drugs (alcohol included) we are altering how we think/feel/act to the point where we are pretty much cave wo/men. Those things are poisons, and it's like trying to commit suicide really; because when we put these things in our bodies, we kill cells designed to keep us functioning correctly, sure we produce more, but the information within that cell is dead and forever gone. I noticed that people who drink only on weekends have sever mood swings after the weekend, and can't deal with stress with out blaming some one else or just blowing up. Any other drugs is the same but Alcohol is most widly abused. A few casual drinks with dinner won't do too much because our livers can metabolize the alcohol before it reaches our brain.

So why I wonder do you choose to do that, even if it's just once a year? It changes who you are derastically, while you are under a drugs influence, and very very subtlely when our bodies have gotten ride of it. Yes very interesting indeed.

:) Relax, you're probably a better/smartter person than I. But I think you would be wise to look at all this stuff in as deep of detail as you can, because it seems even you are not sure what is right or wrong, other wise why would you be so concerned about what others think about your job etc?

"Morally alot have said "no" i am not living a good life because it is not a good life for THEM, does it rule out it being ok for someone like me?."-Meow420

What about those who are being cheated on by BFs, husbands? Ever had your heart broken? I imagine it would be the same if you couldn't have sex any more, or lost your job for what ever reason. For you any way.
I don't know what is right or wrong any more, because there are so many different opinions that I just gave up. Some one told me, "The day will come when the human race will call good evil and evil good; upon this day the end of the world will have begun." Or something like that, aparently it's from the bible or something like that. Any way, what I mean is, people experience things in different ways and interpret things in different ways too. What is good for one, may not be for another. But who is taking responsibility for all the actions, and how far do we consider our actions as responsible for anothers feelings? I've never met any one with a reasonable answer to that, and I can't seem to figure it out for the life of me. I have asked that for several years now too.

What is your view on self control? I sense a lot of issues must revolve around that topic for you.

Peace and kindness be with you.

So why I wonder do you choose to do that, even if it's just once a year?


What about those who are being cheated on by BFs, husbands? Ever had your heart broken? I imagine it would be the same if you couldn't have sex any more, or lost your job for what ever reason. For you any way.

What is your view on self control? I sense a lot of issues must revolve around that topic for you.

Peace and kindness be with you.

Why do I choose have a line of coke on my birthday? Why not! I think doing drugs once year will not interfer with my mental or physical well being. It reminds me of being a nuaghty 16yr old.. why not have a little bit of naughty fun on your birthday when your surrounded by all your closest friends and letting loose! Drugs are not even an issue in my life, so I don't think they are in any form related to the topic at hand.

Absolutely I've had my heart broken! Absolutley I have been cheated on and it hurt! When I was in the first few "adult" relationships, I was very monogomous. I never left any of the cheaters for that reason though. I forgave them and continued on like it never happened.

What about their girlfriends or wives? Well to be honest, I generally don't think of them. I don't know them, I will never know them. Some wives know their husband goes to see a prostitute, hell, I know wives that have paid for their husbands. In some cases with certain men who come looking for help in certain areas, I do think that I am doing their wives a favour by pointing their men in the right direction. At the end of the day though, it is a husband or boyfriends choice to cheat on their wives in that way. I don't have anything to do with that. It's their life and they are going to do whatever it is they do. I might think that what they are doing is wrong, but that is irrelevant. Im not going to hold their choice of lifestyle against them. I just take each person as they come, at face value. As long as an individual treats me with respect and kindness then I will do the same for them, regardless of their choices in life.

What is my view on self control? For me personally, I think I have good self control. I think it is important for someone in my line of work. There are boundaries, both on my part and the clients part and it takes a lot of self control sometimes to not cross them.

After reading through what a lot of people have been commenting on, I don't think there is a right or wrong rule to live your life by. We all have different ideas of what is right or wrong by our own individual needs, wants, morals, beliefs..

What about those who are being cheated on by BFs, husbands? Ever had your heart broken? Hello Nes:

Why should the sex worker be concerned with her customers family?? Is the lawnmower salesman concerned that the customer is going to mow his lawn incorrectly?? Nahhh, he just sells his stuff. A sex worker should just sell their stuff...

Besides, you ask about girlfriends... What about the guy who DOESN'T have a girlfriend?? Why shouldn't HE get laid?? What about the guy who will NEVER have a girlfriend because he lost a leg, or he's too fat?? Shouldn't THOSE guys get laid??

Nope, sex workers provide a VALUABLE service.

excon

I dont do drugs on a regular basis. I think you are misunderstanding me. I celebrate my birthday by having a pill or a line of coke but that is a once a year event.

I do not need to be on drugs to exist in this world. I do not take drugs at work. I do not take drugs to escape anything.

I get a high from sex though... that is my "drug" of choice.So you are happy with everything you do. So what's the question being asked here? Are you bragging about your lifestyle or actually asking a question?

So you are happy with everything you do. So what's the question being asked here? Are you bragging about your lifestyle or actually asking a question?

My life is not what I would call brag worthy material. I came here questioning how I think. This is not a waste of everyone's time just so I can get attention.

It does appear that you are quite fond of your life, as NK asks, what is it that you want to know?

In my opinion, this is no way for a seemingly smart young lady to make a living... let alone enjoy it.

You mention that what you do is bad for THEM, that is quite a selfish statement and I can only pray that others do not hold the same true when dealing with you.

Also, you mention drug use as a one in while thing to escape. Understand that an addiction to sex is just as serious as an addiction to substances, in my view you use sex everyday as an escape. You place yourself in the company of strangers and then have sex with them, not a very cautious approach.

I respond because you ask if this is all o.k and I really think it dangerous and unhealthy, just my opinion.

You mention that what you do is bad for THEM, that is quite a selfish statement and I can only pray that others do not hold the same true when dealing with you.



What are you referring to in this comment? Im not sure which post comment you are talking about.

681 posts and I still can't quote people:(

The post you posted at 12:09pm today contains that comment.

HI Ex - I've no problem pushing the button, it's getting the exact phrase that gives me trouble. I'll go read the help board like any responsible member would.

Why do I choose have a line of coke on my birthday? Why not! I think doing drugs once year will not interfer with my mental or physical well being. It reminds me of being a nuaghty 16yr old.. why not have a little bit of naughty fun on your birthday when your surrounded by all your closest friends and letting loose! Drugs are not even an issue in my life, so i dont think they are in any form related to the topic at hand.

I agree, absolutely. More than most things, the way a person responds to drugs, and the differences between particular drugs, and the consequences and risks involved in using them is a highly individual matter. All generalities are wrong in some instances. For some people, a glass of wine with dinner is a ticket to the gutter and a ruined life. Others can enjoy a couple of drinks a day and it's just one of life's little pleasures, and it's the same with most other drugs. There are, of course, some substances that are so powerfully addictive that almost everybody who tries them becomes hooked, so discretion is important. But it's just plain wrong to say that all drugs are highly damaging and equally dangerous for everybody.

I've smoked pot for almost 40 years, and I have a drink or two almost every day, and I have no doubt at all that these things make my life better, not worse. But I also know that they (well, alcohol anyway) can be horribly destructive for some people, so I respect the differences between people in these matters. And this all has nothing to do with the topic of this thread, so I'll have nothing more to say about it here. Anybody who wants to discuss it further should start a new thread.

681 posts and I still can't quote people:(

The post you posted at 12:09pm today contains that comment.

I used the word "them" in many sentences, Sorry, I do not know which point you are trying to address.

(Morally alot have said "no" i am not living a good life because it is not a good life for THEM, does it rule out it being ok for someone like me?.

This one.

You mention that what you do is bad for THEM, that is quite a selfish statement

It seems pretty obvious to me that "THEM" refers to her critics, not to her clients, i.e. if those who disapprove of what she does were to do it themselves, it would not be "a good life for THEM". She clearly doesn't think that what she does is bad for her clients.

To be honest, it just seems that you posted this to get reassurance that everyone thinks what you do is a great job, safe, helps others, and is appropriate. No. It seems that you are just seeking approval.

I apologize if I'm off.

I did mis-read that comment, I apologize. However, it still can be considered selfish in that she is only really concerned with herself.

However, it still can be considered selfish in that she is only really concerned with herself.Hello BMI:

It is selfish, but not at the expense of anybody else. Besides, treating yourself well isn't a sin. Don't you do that when you can?

Personally, I think that if something is good TO you, it's good FOR you. I don't suffer from guilt when I treat myself well.

excon

Good to her in which way though? Financially? Healthwise? Confidence?

Good to her in which way though? financially? Healthwise? Confidence?Hello again, Momma:

All of the above. Certainly what she does is good for her financially. I don't think having an active sex life is unhealthy, and walking around with a fat bank account does wonders for your confidence.

excon

Hey Ex,

Your take on it being selfish but only affecting her can be argued. Her job does impact others, liken it to a drug dealer. The dealer is not forcing others to use his services, but the people using his services are indeed affected by him being available.

Hello again, Momma:

All of the above. Certainly what she does is good for her financially. I don't think having an active sex life is unhealthy, and walking around with a fat bank account does wonders for your confidence.

excon

Yes, it's good financially. There is a difference between having an active sex life and having sex with strangers that may carry god-knows-what-disease. What if she denies someone at her brothel and they wait for her outside and stab her to death? This isn't the safest job in the world, and I'm not sure why many people are overlooking the real danger of it. A fat bank account doesn't boost confidence its boost ego, which isn't always the best thing. I'm sorry if I was letting any guy with a $100 bill penetrate me, I would have ZERO confidence.

$100 dollars ? Is there a blue light ( or would that be red light) sale somewhere. Having worked the street ministry, OK that may be a price for a cracked hooked junkie, but the regular working ladies just start at 300 to 400, and the better agenies are in the 1000 plus range.

Some have health plans, retirement plans and more.

It was an example. My orifices aren't for sale. No matter the price.

Hello again, BMI:

Some people who use prostitutes live their lives in turmoil. However, in my view, there's NO connection between the two, since I know of people who use prostitutes, who have very fulfilling lives.

I'm not suggesting that a life of prostitution is without risk. But since it's illegal, the risk stems from THAT fact, and that fact alone. Were it not illegal, it would be sold like a can of soup. It's almost like that now, only we pretend it isn't. I'm not really a pretending type of guy.

excon

I see what your saying ex. However, if you compare treating yourself to a joint with friends (also illegal) and treating yourself to sex with strangers for money I think it's a different thing.

This girl likes what she does, I personally think she could enjoy her life whislt doing something a little more... conservative.

Hello Nes:

Why should the sex worker be concerned with her customers family???? Is the lawnmower salesman concerned that the customer is going to mow his lawn incorrectly??? Nahhh, he just sells his stuff. A sex worker should just sell their stuff....

Besides, you ask about girlfriends.... What about the guy who DOESN'T have a girlfriend??? Why shouldn't HE get laid??? What about the guy who will NEVER have a girlfriend because he lost a leg, or he's too fat??? Shouldn't THOSE guys get laid???

Nope, sex workers provide a VALUABLE service.

excon

Hmmm, true, but that's a personal choice is it not? To refuse to aknowlege others within the situation and the circomstances encompassing one's capacity to effect it? Yes, I know, the ties are minumal, but those minumal ties my have a large echo. Do you agree? Everything we do causes and echo, and that inturn effects the world around us.

People who are single are not connected to others in such a profound manner, and thus they can not betrey some ones love for them. (Other than family Friends, that's different kind of love. You most likely won't be having kids with any of them and starting a family together. Children are best looked after with two carring parents.) Should they? I don't know... Maybe they should exercise more to be healthy, as for the leg thing, I know a few couples in similar situations, they seem happy to be honest. More than I can say about most.

Is that so? What about those who can not afford it, is there a funding program so they can enjoy it, or those who are handi cap? Do these people not have rights?

I don't know...

Take care Meow420, I'll be back to reply to your post soon, I think.

May peace and kindnesss be with you.

To refuse to aknowlege others within the situation and the circomstances encompassing one's capacity to effect it?? Everything we do causes and echo, and that inturn effects the world around us.

..Is that so? What about those who can not afford it, is there a funding program so they can enjoy it, or those who are handi cap? Do these people not have rights? Hello again, Nes:

I don't doubt that every action we take effects others. I do, however, deny responsibility for the actions of others. Let's say I sold hardware. Am I responsible for the guy who murders his wife using a tool he bought from me? Better yet, are gun shops responsible for a killing done with a gun bought at their shop?

There are those in society who would say they are. I'm not one of them.

In terms of the government subsidizing sex for the downtrodden, I'm all for it. In fact, I think even the uptrodden are entitled to sex. Therefore, the government should subsidize sex for ALL the unlaid.

excon

excon, Meow thinks globally, not in a straight line.

Although I admire the focus of non-global people, being female, I see everything at once. Life is a picture not this fact and that fact which follow these facts. If all humans were global thinkers, we probably wouldn't need government subsidies.

Prostitution is not just about providing a service for money. It involves all parts of a person including other lives they touch.

Haha... HelloKitty is giving advice to Meow... Lol!!! :D :p :D

Sorry, I couldn't resist... :o

Your turning bad! Hehe

It was funny and I couldn't resist lmao.

Your turning bad! hehe

It was funny and I couldn't resist lmao.

Haha... sorry... didn't mean to be bad... I'll be good now... Promise... :)

As you can see, Meow, opinions differ.

It's a choice you have made. You seem happy with your choice.

Many have questioned your future plans. Have you?

Good Luck, whichever way you choose to go.

To be honest, it just seems that you posted this to get reassurance that everyone thinks what you do is a great job, safe, helps others, and is appropriate. No. It seems that you are just seeking approval.

I apologize if I'm off.

My reasoning for coming on this site was not to seek approval. I knew coming on here was going to cause a lot of different reactions and to be honest, I was not excpecting them to be nice. You may think Im here to show off and brag, but these have been real issues for me. I don't ecxpect everyone to understand me. But I most definalty did not come here for the reasons you are thinking.

Hello again, Nes:

I don't doubt that every action we take effects others. I do, however, deny responsibility for the actions of others. Let's say I sold hardware. Am I responsible for the guy who murders his wife using a tool he bought from me? Better yet, are gun shops responsible for a killing done with a gun bought at their shop?

There are those in society who would say they are. I'm not one of them.

In terms of the government subsidizing sex for the downtrodden, I'm all for it. In fact, I think even the uptrodden are entitled to sex. Therefore, the government should subsidize sex for ALL the unlaid.

excon

Fair enough.

As for guns, their purpose is to kill. If some one doesn't have a license to have a gun, then no they shouldn't have one. If they don't register it, then they shouldn't have it. They are meant to kill, and any one who will not be responsibly for their merchandise in that area, The selling of ammo, guns, other weapons, should not sell it. Rules and regulations are needed, or chaos will break out.

As for the hardware thing, no. THe man with the hammer is in full responsibility, However, if he was drunk, or under some kind of influence that was noticeable or really pissed, I don't think people should sell potencially harmful objects to them. It's not very wise, for they may just off the sales person. I always disliked selling lighters to drunks/intoxitcated/or even just angery customers. Gas and fire are a bad mix, and often lead to explosive results.

But those are different. The objects are not in direct control of the person selling them, once the transaction is carried out. In the case of a sex trad worker, or sex working individual, they are in direct control of who can and can not have sex with them.

The simple fact that we choose to live a life style affects greatly the people around us. People simply are not ready to accept responsibility for it. This is the point I"m trying to make. You think that some one you never met is not being affected by you? Owning a house, car, buying overly packaged items, buying items that are tested on animals, or clothing made from animals, or food made form animals burned alive. That affects many, and animals especially. By choosing one brand over another we can put people out of work, or give them work, and/or be wastful to the environment. Even the simplest act can have the most profound effect.

If every one out side our spectrum is an externality, then you're missing a great deal of who you really are. "All are one, and one is all" Led-Zeppelin Stairway to heaven. Most chairitable organizagions depend upon us taking responsibility for things that are happening out of our immediate attention. We don't take "full" or "all" the responsibility, but we do our part and refrain from something's to help benafit the greater whole, as well as ourselves on a larger scale.

It's like the child who's father left him and his mother and he grows up adopting some questionable behavious that his father had. He starts to treat women like his father did, badly like an object, he grows to the age of 45 and is very abusive to the women he is with and finnally kills one. Who is to hold the blame, a child who had no one to show them that people are people regardless of their gender? Or those who saw him as a bad child, misschievious, rude, ignorent, foolish, stupid, pathetic, another troubled youth, and so on? We have programs now that can help children like this, maybe it won't help 100% nor does it reach most, but it's there.

It seems like people loose their freedom when they don't accept responsibility for their actions. But I'm still researching this theory.

Peace and kindness be with you.

At any rate, I've lost track of where I Was going. So it goes.

"Life is ours, we live it our way."-Metallica

"There is no good, bad, right, nor wrong; there are only possibilities."-Nestorian

"By myself, but not alone."-Metallica

"It does not matter what you do, but is does matter that you do it."- Unknown.

Meow420, it doesn't matter what you do, you could be the worst person on the face of the earth, or the greatest, or other wise; but, none of it will ever change what you really are, a BEING.
If it makes you feel better, I don't think you are immoral, confused yes, after all that's why you are on this site posting a question/s. I do have something I like to try when thinking of others opinions and how they feel about what I'm doing, or what is happening to them.

I call it, Value association. The basic idea, you take something some one else valuse and when you really don't care about it, you replace the thing they value with something you value in the same or a similar mannor. For example:
Let say, I'm heart broken because my GF had sex with some one else. I feel betrey and angry. You don't see why I feel like this (Though I'm sure you do) because you think it's OK to have sex with people other than your BF/GF/Husband/Wife. So you don't understand why I'd be so tore up inside. Then you think, OK he is heart broke over his GF cheating and he didn't find out till a few months later "as she didnt' take from his needs", what would hurt me the same? If the person you were with didn't meet your needs. So then you can understand what it would feel like to have your heart broken just as me. (If that were a real situation.)

I realize that wasn't really the best situation and most would say that's just walking in aonther person's shoes, but, most people wouldn't associate the values with their own issues, rather than just thinking how they'd feel in that same position. As people say, "Different strokes for differenet folks."

Peace be with you.

My reasoning for coming on this site was not to seek approval. I knew coming on here was going to cause alot of different reactions and to be honest, i was not excpecting them to be nice. You may think Im here to show off and brag, but these have been real issues for me. I dont ecxpect everyone to understand me. But i most definalty did not come here for the reasons you are thinking.


I am curious to know your level of education and your plans when - and if - you get out of the sex industry.

I am curious to know your level of education and your plans when - and if - you get out of the sex industry.

That is a good point. When you are older your work will die down.
While there are some that enjoy the company of older women odds are you won't be making as much money.

Hello:

These girls make a LOT of money. I mean, a LOT of money! Did I say that they can get RICH??

IF they invest it wisely, they can live happily every after and even become somebody's grandma.

excon

Counselling can't be done on net. It is face to face interaction. If you are loving your job with utmost security, then I feel there is no harm in continuing your job. At any moment or at any juncture if you feel like quitting this then please quit this job provided you have the secured job. You try to be busy round the clock in any other job that you do; then you can over come this sex instinct.

I am an example, I work round the clock from morning 9 to night 10. Then I feel tired and get sleep easily. At any time if I feel like I have sex with ( once in a month or twice). Because of busy schedule your body become tired and wants some rest.

Initially you reduce the sex work from 3/week to 2 and to 1. Involve yourself in some other work. Make yourself busy and then you can control the addiction. If you want any help do contact over ***EMAIL REMOVED

Edit by Synn: Please keep all contact here on the boards. Asking for off-site contact can be dangerous to one or both parties.

QUOTE=Nestorian;1758570]Yes, opinions of others are rather harsh, cold, and cruel; but most of all ignorent and Foolish. Yes, I do all the time. People don't like doing the things I do because I don't like to party (a fear of crowds) or drink as much as every one else. (family hystory of alcoholism.) I also don't want to be so selfish like most people. Big house, two people live in it? (Really, seriously, we kill how many achers of forest to make one house. How many animals homes are destroyed? Then when they wander into town we kill them because we are territorial? Who are the real animals? Those who are incapable of intelegence, or those who choose to be ignorent?) We don't need as much as we have, but every one wants more, and more, until there is nothing left to have. I don't know how to survive in Canada with out being like that, and I Don't know any one who shares my veiws, so I stand alone, broken and sucked into that same life style I hate. I really want to be a social worker, to help children/youth. I wanted to start a program where maybe I could educate them how to get a long, be individuals, respect the world around them, and appreciate living with a little less, to give a little more. Yeah, I get strange looks, told how stupid that is, that I'm crazy, and as a result I've isoalted myself from most others. I spend most of my time alone, because I voice myself. Especailly when some one makes foolish assumptions about things on the news, or other people. I dislike people who think that life works one way, and only one way. I believe that "life is pliable." It is adaptable, and always changing. That's why anything is possible, because things are always in motion and ever changing. (Sorry that was so long, just wanted to show you, you are not alone.)

[/QUOTE]

Nestorian, you have great views and insights and do not just live up to the standards of the society around you wants you to be. Although I of course do not have to tell you, try and find some really challenging things to satisfy your desires of helping/teaching e.g. street children or even learn about different cultures. I am from the Netherlands and I was quite sick and tired of our well-polished society, but with many societal and attitudal (is that a word.. ) flaws... so I decided to go and live in a third-world country, well not really, I'm currently living in Bangkok, Thailand, which is half Westernised and there are here literally a million contradictions and contrasts, yet its such a fascinating experience and there are so many fascinating situations I face. Just FYI...

To Meow, you do seem as a very sensitive and smart person. From what I believe your job gives you value because you can actually get to know people when they are often the most exposed (intimacy), yet have no real responsibility to you, which I can definitely understand. As this is one of the what I believe lesser difficult situations to deal with in terms of relationships. I am myself generally a shy person, 24 year old male, who has a strong sense of do's and no-do's in terms of social, ethical and moral values, e.g. I am careful in making decisions that force me in difficult situations, e.g. related to relationships whether they are for sex or building a true relationship.

I currently live in Bangkok, and if you want to see the most sleezy versions of prostituation you have got it here. I personally do not repulse or hate either the women or men who indulge in prostitution. It happens a lot in the world. It just feels to me that there is something inherently wrong with society. I don't mind looking at it (if you have ever been to Bangkok, I sometimes walk through Pat Pong just to look and observe the world around me and the physicality of prostitution and actually enjoy this kind of inviting atmosphere of just instant pleasure and gratification if I go there, but… I always constrain myself). Although it's different versions of prostitution (e.g. you indulge in upper-class prostitution) for me it's a matter of ethical restraint. A particular mind set. Having sex is a particular mind-set, depending on the relationships. One night stand, partner exchange, prostitution, boyfriend/girlfriend and marriage sex are all sex/relationship forms. I am too inexperienced to say whether one is better than the other if they actually are... but personally I believe the more responsible you are in intimacy, for that matter in any indulgence of any sort (e.g. drugs, alcohol, even relationships, sports, work…) the more spiritually advancing it is. Otherwise I think that you will (as is logical) want keep fulfilling your desires, and those desires become more intense and before you know it you are addicted. That’s why all the great spiritual leaders speak about personal restraint. Besides that from what you’re writing you also get complexities of relationships and love issues, which only bring along unwanted complexities between not just you and your customer but also their partners/relationships, etc. so in some way I would say it could go into a vicious circle…? I don’t know I am just imagining how I would think when I was in such a position. Good luck with your counselor and your thoughts.

Best Regards,

Cuno

You should definitely be careful just because you work with a higher clientel doesn't mean you're safe.l. there's plenty of crazy rich people too. It is not going to be right because obviously prostitution is wrong and selling your soul is going t catch up to you one day be careful and take care of yourself put money back so that you don't have to keep doing this to yourself you say you're happy but this isn't the kind of thing that is going to fulfill you deep down in your soul. It sounds to me like you're trying really hard to balance the challenges of a double life and eventually its going to catch you be careful out there though

Love
UrTeddyBear

It is not going to be right because obviously prostitution is wrong and selling your soul is going t catch up to you one day be careful and take care of yourself put money back so that you dont have to keep doing this to yourself you say youre happy but this isnt the kind of thing that is going to fulfill you deep down in your soul. it sounds to me like youre trying really hard to balance the challenges of a double life and eventually its gonna catch you be careful out there though



Ok first and foremost, prostitution is not wrong and is not selling my soul. It may be wrong for YOU and YOUR belief system, but it is not wrong for ME.

How do you know this work doesn't fulfil me deep down? You have no idea. I get a lot out of my job, above and beyond sex.

Thank you for your opinion, but honestly, I don't think you know enough on the subject to be making comments so bold.

OK so this is an update for all of those that have been follow my threads.

I went and saw the counsellor/therapist on Tuesday. It was awesome.
It opened up a whole different issues I need to deal with lol but the amount of self acceptance I am feeling is fantastic.

So here are a few things that he spoke to me about, and basically how it all ties into my threads.

After many questions and probing into my brain, the therapist said that My line of work has not played with my head. He said I am a very rational, level headed 30yr old. He could see why I was questioning whether it is right or wrong to be a sex worker and came up with the conclusion that yes a lot of people think it is a bad thing, that is just their opinions. It is not effecting me in a negative way at all.

After our talk he could see my need and love of helping people and he suggested even starting up a group for couples/singles on how to keep sexual relationships healthy.

When I discussed my partner, who is a married man, he basically told me that, that type of relationship is all based on (again) your own belief systems. It might not be something people agree with but at the end of the day, its all about what works for each individual. And as for right now, its working for me quite well.

I told my partner about seeing a therapist. He straight away was very concerned that he was causing me grief, but I assured him, it isn't him, it was just my own head accepting the situation.

The therapist did not want to discuss my partner for long at all. He said that from what he can see, it's a casual relationship that is discreet and for now, bringing joy to my life.

Now, this is where it got interesting. I brought up my sex addiction. After more probing, he came to the conclusion, that I am not adicted to sex, but that I may have an issue with power. Needing power over men. And sex apparently is my tool.

After many questions about my dad, the therapist is very keen to do regressive therapy and hypnosis. I am not too sure on this idea. He says that the most pivotal things in our life, happen before we are 5yrs old. He thinks that something has happened to me when I was young. Could be something small. Could be something bad.

I personally don't want to go probing into that I have blocked out for whatever reason. If I found out my dad molested me, I will seriously kill him. Without even a thought.

Also he said I have unnatural tendacies to protect my loved ones. I don't understand that. I will die for my family. We have been through tough times and Im sure most people are the same. But apparently my need to keep my family safe is abnormal.

So yeah that's pretty much it. It was only one session though, Im going back next week.

It made me realise that, OK, I may be a sex addicted, prostitute that is dating a married man, and that may be something the majority of people in society would not agree with... but that's OK! Its fine! As long as I can look in the mirror every morning and like who I am, be proud of all that Ive accomplished, love my family, make them proud... as long as my family love me then I really don't give a toss what the rest of the world thinks :)

Ok so that's the basics I guess.. Ive been walking around with my head a little higher I must admit lol.

I want to thank all of those who left comments, whether they were helpful or not. I love that this site is an open space for us all to voice all of our different and unique opinions.

When reading peoples questions, don't judge their actions... at the end of the day, they are here for an answer.. lets help people, not put them down x x x x x

So nothing changes. You love yourself and what you do. I guess we can close this thread.

Ok first and foremost, prostitution is not wrong and is not selling my soul. It may be wrong for YOU and YOUR belief system, but it is not wrong for ME.

How do you know this work doesnt fulfil me deep down? You have no idea. I get alot out of my job, above and beyond sex.

Thank you for your opinion, but honestly, I dont think you know enough on the subject to be making comments so bold.

I come from a similar background I actually do know quite a bit about where you're at. I know enough to know that Yes, the money is amazing but at the end of the day there is no getting away from the fact that you are selling pieces of yourself, night by night, client to disgusting client. I also know how hard it is hiding such a huge part of your life from the people who care about you. Whether you are to deep in and to proud to acknowledge that is up to you. Honestly from everything I've read I think that you thoroughly enjoy the attention that you get from your, we'll call it "profession" for political correctness sake. And if anybody could make it in that industry without completely losing themselves it would be someone of your nature. However I know that you can't honestly say that this is where you really wanted to be in your life when you were young and dreamed the dreams that turn us into the people we are today. I mean do you really want to be the girl that disappears for days at a time and has all the money in the world but everyoene you know knows to tip toe around where it came from because its this huge secret that everyone pretends they don't really know because they love you (you the real you not the fake hustler you) enough to think better of you than that.

Really though it sounds to me like you absolutely eat up the attention which is why you are seeking "help" and probably why you are on this site writing about it. I am not judging you but I think that the truth of the situation you are putting yourself in is something you desperatly need to hear. So lie to everyone around you lie to your clientel lie to everyone that ever meant anything to you to keep from hurting them (I know I did) but in the end at least be honest with yourself.

I notice that Jake2008's post, and my post, which were both supportive, have been deleted. I wonder why.

I notice that Jake2008's post, and my post, which were both supportive, have been deleted. I wonder why.That would be very odd. Are you sure they are in this thread because she has three different threads on the same subject.

Hi I don't think you're selfish nor is it wrong if you are happy and enjoying your life then who are we to judge you? Are you practising safe sex? Are you harming anyone in anyway or providing a service of female intimacy for men that need it? If this is what you enjoy and you are not harming anyone Then just enjoy you life in a safe manner.

Good on you ! X

[QUOTE=UrTeddyBear;1781694]Really though it sounds to me like you absolutely eat up the attention which is why you are seeking "help" and probably why you are on this site writing about it. QUOTE]

Ok Im not going to reply to comments like this again...
Im sorry to all those that think I am attention whoring and loving the lime light. I came here looking for answers to questions that I found it difficult to ask people around me.

Im not an attention seeker.
I won't be asking anymore questions here. Its seems people like me aren't allowed to voice their concerns, worries, thoughts without being judged and mis-interrpreted. I got some good feedback and am now seeing a professional and that is the end of this.
Goodbye

That would be very odd. Are you sure they are in this thread because she has three different threads on the same subject.

You're right, it was on the other thread. What threw me was the identical posts about the counseling session.

Here's Jake2008's post (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/im-seeing-married-man-am-horrible-357267-8.html#post1778779) from there, and here's mine (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/im-seeing-married-man-am-horrible-357267-8.html#post1778986).


I wont be asking anymore questions here. Its seems people like me arent allowed to voice their concerns, worries, thoughts without being judged and mis-interrpreted. I got some good feedback and am now seeing a professional and that is the end of this.
Goodbye
I'm sorry for the intolerance you've encountered here, but unfortunately, it's pretty typical. Being far from the norm means that you have to expect to get a lot of crap for it. It goes with the territory.

I notice that Jake2008's post, and my post, which were both supportive, have been deleted. I wonder why.

Only posts that *I* have deleted in this thread were because of chat speak.

I'm sorry for the intolerance you've encountered here, but unfortunately, it's pretty typical. Being far from the norm means that you have to expect to get a lot of crap for it. It goes with the territory.

Oh so its OK to be intolerant? I seem to recall Osmosis Bum Leader being a touch intolerant. Same goes for the talibum.

Its intolerance that should not be tolerated. :mad:

You should not have to put up with crap just because some small minded fool disagrees with your views or actions. Society should push back, not accept it.

Oh so its ok to be intolerant? I seem to recall Osmosis Bum Leader being a touch intolerant. Same goes for the talibum.

Its intolerance that should not be tolerated. :mad:

You should not have to put up with crap just because some small minded fool disagrees with your views or actions. Society should push back, not accept it.
Is it intollerant if we dislike drug abusers, is it intollerant of we chastise people who commit petty larceny rather than get a job and earn that money...

Is it wrong if we chastise members of religious cults...

Are we intollerant if we disagree with people who believe differently than we do, either via religious or our own moral code?




Keep that last point in mind, because it applies here... are YOU being intollerant of people who are expressing their own opinion of morality just because you do not wish to agree with it.

Intollerance is a two edged sword... and sometimes those who complain the loudest are they themselves guilty of intollerance.

At least in this country... you are entitled you freedom of speech, and freedom to practice religion. And incidentally... prositution is illegal in the entire USA except one county in Nevada.

Personally I don't give a hoot either way... but is it intollerance to pursue NAMBLA, child molestors... rapists etc. Those after all are illegal as well, how about petty criminals etc...

Not going off on a tangent there, just pointing out that no one individual particularly someone working outside the law is entitled to be free from criticism. People make choices, and they have to deal with the results of those choices. Good or bad.