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View Full Version : A friend whom ~I love


Lozzer
May 24, 2009, 07:06 AM
Six years ago I sadly went through a divorce, but eventully sorted my life out and now successful in my career again. A friend of mine introduced me to a girl, who over the last few years has become a very close friend be it platonic. She trusts me and always want to confide in me . Her love for me is as a friend , but I have fallen in love with her. Two weeks ago she met a guy on the internet and told me . It broke my heart as she meant so much to me . To safe guard my feelings I felt it best we should not see each other for a while. I told her this yesterday and told her that I will always love her. She told me to ring her in the evening but I could not bring myself to do . I have spent a lot of time with her over the years and we both miss each other when don't speak to each other. We often go out with each other and evertime we see each other she always puts her arms around me and strokes my back. She can cry in front of me and we share each others feeling. Because I didn't ring her she texted me this morning to reply to her. She said she felt low yesterday any could not sleep, for fear of losing me. I phoned and consoled her this morning telling her gently that I would not desert her, as it is not in my nature . She said she still wants me to go out with her, and remain close friends, I told her in the end how muched I loved her and for a moment there was no comment, eventually she said she Loved me, without the added "as a friend" I am trying to be strong and supportive without wanting to get hurt in side, however I love her and can't forget her she means a lot me and I don't want to lose this special person. Am I fool or does she feel more for me than I think, I need to know as I am slighty confused, she did point out to me she did not know if she loved this man and compared him with me saying his was loving and caring as I am. What should I do ?

liz28
May 24, 2009, 07:45 AM
Maybe you should go ask her how she feels about you.

If nothing as same and you just wants you as a friend then you need to ignore her little and be her friend again only when you have your feelings under control.

Then you take the focus off her by having your life and put yourself in the dating scene.

When was the last time you went out on a date instead of hanging around this girl?

Lozzer
May 24, 2009, 07:47 AM
Thanks danille1979 , this gives me hope I appreciate your comments.

chuff
May 25, 2009, 09:08 AM
She's good. She knows you are into her, and she's doing everything she can to keep you around, but at the same time she's going to date other people. You are there in her life because she can cry to you, and you allow it. You are where she goes to when she needs to drop off her emotional baggage, but not where she goes when she needs anything else.

The "I love you" comment was well played by her. She even thought about it before she said it, playing out her options. You threaten to leave, she needs an "always guy" but isn't interested in anything more. She said it to keep you around but then added the fine print of she is not sure about the other guy and compared him to you. Brilliant! She gave you hope but also kept you away at the same time.

I'm with your friends. You have too much to offer to be her emotional tampon. You deserve a woman that puts you first and not behind someone else. Let this one go and find that woman.

dudevill
May 25, 2009, 09:22 AM
From the sounds of it, it definitely seems like she is using you. While there may be some truth in what she's says about 'needing' you and wanting not to 'lose' you, it's most likely not in the way that you want it to be. From what I can tell, I don't think you deserve to be some girls tissue, to be used and thrown away when she finds someone else. She wants you to be there for her, but she's seeing other people? Sounds sketchy to me, and it just seems like it is in your best interest to try and move on. She may love you as a friend, but that may be all that your ever going to get out of her, without hurting yourself further.
If you move on and spend time with other people, you will meet someone new that will want to be with you and treat you the way you should be treated.

chuff
May 25, 2009, 09:28 AM
On a completely odd note. I hate when posters give themselves names like you have. You are not a Lozzer for being emotional or falling for a girl. It happens, it doesn't make you anything other then human.

I wish
May 25, 2009, 09:54 AM
You've become the "nice guy." If you want to be with her, then tell her how you feel. Tell her that you want a serious relationship.

If she doesn't feel the same way, then you got to stop contacting her so that you can move on with your life. If you stay in constant contact with her without elevating to the level of relationship that you want, then she's just going to keep dragging you along and you're just going to keep waiting.

Stop letting her mess with your mind. Put your foot down.

Lozzer
May 25, 2009, 11:24 AM
Thanks you guys, great help from you all I appreciate your honesty. Ps lozzer is my nick name, my name is laurie and lozzer does not mean loser.
At school I was called loz and its stuck ever since anyway I must put my head and gear and play her game, if she wants me I suppose she must come to me and tell me what she wants and if its no .move on and find someone who does, thanks again .