A co-worker of mine, whom I thought was a close friend of mine. We hung out outside of work and did everything together. She has been the bosses favor for as long as she has worked with me. I'm not jealous about that in fact I wouldn't want to be veiwed in such a way by my fellow workers. Anyway, ever since I decided to go back to school to earn my degree, she has been kind of a copy cat. Doing everything I do, now she is going to college. I wanted to work day treatment now she does. I wanted to switch to a different place of work and now all the sudden, it seems as though she is trying to "one up" me on everything. It could be anything I was talking about and she for some reason has this need to feel more important. Its as if she can't allow someone else to get things their way, she has to get the same thing too, but tries to make it seem that we should all be proud of her. I think it is silly, but now the trouble is starting. With her connection to the boss she is scrutinizing everything anyone at work does! Every time she asks a question it is as if she is the boss or looking for something to take back to the boss. I'm fearful of confronting her, for this reason: I have seen her destroy other co-workers, for being forth-right and honest about her actions with them. She starts telling the boss things that aren't true and next thing you know they are in trouble. My boss has been acting different around me for sometime, I am given way more work than my supposed friend and seriously, If I stop for a second to take a breather I am made to do even more. Most of the time if I try to make a little small talk with the boss. She literally ignores me and won't respond. Yet the boss talks all nice to the friend I am talking about, and on a constant bases. I'm worried because I have recently found out that she is talking about me behind my back and trying to make me look bad. I'm worried of the crap she will pull to make my potentially new manager think twice. I don't know what to do. Its dirty and underhanded. Instead of talking to any of her co-workers and clearing the air she runs to the boss and then your on the list. How do I get her to take the focus off what I want so that I can get the heck out? I loved her as a friend and I know that I have never done anything to hurt her. She is doing all this to me and is still trying to act like my friend to my face. Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with this?

Yep, run for the hills.

Seriously, your friend has made her intentions clear by her actions. You've seen how she handles people that get in her way. Don't kid yourself that your friendship means anything to her - if you discuss your concerns with her she'll be stabbing you in the back so quickly you won't know what happened.

Look up workplace narcissists on the internet - there will be some good hints on how to cope.

I'd lie really low, be nice, be sweet but reveal nothing. Look for other work, and get out of there as fast as you can.

Yep have as little to do with her as possible and don't tell her anything. When she talks to you keep your replies as brief as possible.
If she sees nobody is talking with her or spending time with her maybe she will see she is the outcast. Ask the other workers to go to lunch or for a drink after work or whatever.

Where I work one girl does pretty much the same thing. She comes to work and spends a half an hour telling the morning boss everything that happened when he was off.
It is all exaggerated and distorted. Then she
Works for about 10 to 20 minutes then takes a 10 to 20 minute smoke break every 40 minutes for the rest of the day. When anybody complains the bosses just laugh. They even joke with her when she comes in to work, "How drunk/high are you today?''

So what I am saying is the bosses see it and don't even care. They act like she does all the work when they know she does nothing.


Oh and do not confront her... your job would then become totally unbearable!

How to keep relationship with boss