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rshinejr
May 20, 2009, 09:12 AM
Me and my girlfriend dated for 5 years. We had twins boys 7 months ago. Before having the twins we were going though some promblems. The day of signing the birth certificate we had an argument in the hospital. She never informed me that that day was the day of signing the paper. We had a huge argument and I left and the papers were signed without me.
I pay the mother of my children money every time I get paid. I make the payment in forms of money orders. I having seen my kids in a month and 1/2. in the past we have had domestic violence issues. I just want to see my kids on a reqular basic.

justcurious55
May 20, 2009, 05:37 PM
You have to go through court if you want to establish regular visitation (seeing as you and her don't seem to be on very good terms it doesn't seem likely that you two can work this out on your own.) since it sounds like your name isn't on the birth certificates you might first have to prove that you are in fact the father first.
I have to ask, did something happen a month and a half ago to give her reason to keep your children from you? You mentioned domestic violence issues and arguing...

ScottGem
May 20, 2009, 05:49 PM
You have rights but you have to go to court to exercise them. You should have done that before you starting paying any money

Shelly_baby
May 24, 2009, 11:27 PM
You have to open a case to see your children. The courts will no deny you visitaion. You should request 50% Physical coustody. Every court in California (if you live here) have a office/room were they give you FREE help to fill out your papers. Lawyers could be pretty expensive... You could do it on your own. By the mother showing up to court that's enough proff that you are the FATHER! Don't let her win and keep your kids. You as the FATHER have equal rights. The more you see your kids the LESS child support you pay. File and fill out a FEE WAIVER if you can't afford it. Its expensive but its worth it!

ScottGem
May 25, 2009, 08:04 AM
You have to open a case to see your children. The courts will no deny you visitaion. You should request 50% Physical coustody. Every court in california (if u live here) have a office/room were they give you FREE help to fill out your papers. Lawyers could be pretty expensive.....You could do it on your own. By the mother showin up to court that's enough proff that you are the FATHER! Dont let her win and keep your kids. You as the FATHER have equal rights. The more you see your kids the LESS child support you pay. File and fill out a FEE WAIVER if you can't afford it. Its expensive but its worth it!

First, if there are domestic violence issues, they may deny visitation or require supervised visits. Second there is no indication the OP is in CA. Third, they will not give a father of infants 50% physical custody. Fourth, the mother showing up in court is not proof of parentage at all. The mother shows up in court because she received a summons. And to not show up could mean a default judgement in the favor of the claimant.

Fr_Chuck
May 25, 2009, 08:15 AM
You will and should get child visits ordered though the court, if there is issues with the other parent arrange to have the child exchange at some public place, police department, fire station, or other

Shelly_baby
May 25, 2009, 09:00 AM
First, if there are domestic violence issues, they may deny visitation or require supervised visits. Second there is no indication the OP is in CA. Third, they will not give a father of infants 50% physical custody. Fourth, the mother showing up in court is not proof of parentage at all. The mother shows up in court because she received a summons. And to not show up could mean a default judgement in the favor of the claimant.


The mother will show up because she has a court date. As far as Domestic Violence, if she did file and you have a restraning order then it might be a little difficult to get 100% coustody. A judge will NEVER deny visitation to a parent not unless they are homeless and drug users! And the fact that she is dening visitation that works against her. Good luck!

justcurious55
May 25, 2009, 12:41 PM
Shelly baby,
I have no idea where you are getting your information but you have no idea what you are talking about. When my parents got a divorce my father was only allowed supervised visitation with my younger siblings and after so many temporary orders by the time the judge finally signed the last "permanent" visitation order there was nothing giving my father any rights to see me or one of my brothers because we had refused to see my father before (we were old enough they couldn't very well put us in the car and make us go like my younger siblings). My father is rather wealthy, has no history of substance abuse, but he does have a long history of domestic abuse. My father still wanted visitation with me and my brother but the judge saw that it wasn't going to be in our best interest. That's just one case in my own family where a parent was denied visitation. I have a big family full of messy divorces. I have plenty more examples. And the OP never said anything about a restraining order. So I don't know why you would even bring that up. And denying him visitation won't necessarily work against her if she can prove she has a valid reason to do so. And as of the moment the OP has said nothing about there being a court date or even that he's begun filing paperwork so I don't know what you're doing bringing up how she's going to show up because of one. Don't post unless you can back up what you are saying.

ScottGem
May 25, 2009, 01:46 PM
The mother will show up because she has a court date.

Exactly! That's what I said, so you admit that her appearance is not proof of paternity!


As far as Domestic Violence, if she did file and you have a restraning order then it might be a little difficult to get 100% coustody.

Again agreeing with I said. A history of violence will have an affect on awarding custody and visitation.



A judge will NEVER deny visitation to a parent not unless they are homeless and drug users! and the fact that she is dening visitation that works against her. Good luck!

In your first response, you stated; "The courts will no deny you visitaion" without qualification. When the fact is that varioius states do have laws or guidelines that will allow a judge to not order visitation or make that visitation supervised. In your second response, you acknowledge that by listing some conditions.

You are new here, so you may not have learned yet, how this site works. We pride ourselves on the accuracy of the advice we give. Especially, when it comes to technical forums. In the law forums, your answers need to conform to existing statute or legal reality. As noted there were several inaccurate points in your first response.