View Full Version : Should I Ask After What Happened?
livinthelife11
May 19, 2009, 01:00 PM
This past weekend, my best friend cheated on his girlfriend, for the first time, with me. We didn't have sex, but we did do a lot. Don't get me wrong, I DO feel bad that he cheated on her, but he knows I have had feelings for him for a long time. I have asked him a few times over the past year if his feelings for me had been changing, because it truly seemes like they are. The last time I asked, he said "I dont know...... but nothing is going to happen between us because of *insert girlfriends name here*" Obviously he was wrong. I really want to know if his feelings are changing, especially after what happened, but I'm scared of the answer I might get... Should I ask again... and possibly get the answer I don't want and risk being upset by it, or should I just wait it out and see what happens?
Please offer any advice you have, anything will help!
N0help4u
May 19, 2009, 01:39 PM
I take it the answer you don't want is that he still wants to be with *insert girlfriends name here*
Do yourself and him a favor and leave him alone. Quit making yourself so available to ruin his relationship, in effect that is what you are doing. You may think you are just being a friend but if you really were only in it for the friendship you would not be putting yourself in a position to see how far you can get with him.
So for you to honestly ''just wait it out and see what happens'' you will stay in the background and not influence him in any way. Then if they break up on their own accord THEN you see where it goes from there.
MsMewiththat
May 19, 2009, 02:23 PM
I would ask him... "what changed"? What was it that you did together the other day and why did it go further than expected?
You need to assume some responsibility for the actions that happened and so does he.
Good Luck
livinthelife11
May 19, 2009, 03:20 PM
Just to clarify:
1. I've only asked him that once or twice in over a year.
And 2. HE initiated everything that happened.
liz28
May 19, 2009, 05:21 PM
It doesn't matters if he made the first move the fact remains that he has a girlfriend.
Also, have you ever stopped to think that he might be taking advantage of the situation since he already knows how you feel about him? This might all be a game to see how far your going go.
Also, if he was going to be with you don't you think he would have been left his girl especially after this night?
Time for you to stop fooling around with this guy and stop fooling yourself. Don't let your feelings for this guy interfere with your common sense.
Btw, I will tell you what happen. You and this guy got caught up in the moment and he cheated on his girlfriend with you--this is what happen. I don't think their were any other hidden agenda besides his being a dog. I wonder if alcohol was involved.
_rachel_
May 19, 2009, 09:15 PM
He has a girlfriend. Can you imagine if you were in her position. Tell him if he wants that to happen again, he has to break up with her first.
Don't let it happen again, just think if that was you and he did that to someone else.
shazamataz
May 19, 2009, 09:33 PM
He may have initiated it but you never said "No"
Take the moral high ground and don't engage in any sort of sexual activity with this boy any more.
He may have cheated on his girlfriend but you didn't stop him.
It takes two to tango.
ussmel
May 25, 2009, 07:32 AM
Hi, I kind of totally know what you're going through, and let me just tell you... its not going to end well for you. I had this guy, with a girlfriend, who was only interested in me for action.
That if he's not with you, he shouldn't be with you in any way, got me?
As a girl, have some self respect because you are better than "the other girl" and don't ever ever doubt that.
You deserve more, and it seems like he's not willing to give it.