My husband has primary custody of his 14 year old daughter. His ex wife pays child support but rarely comes to pick her up for her weekend - she is suppose to come and get her every other weekend. Her mom has basically moved on with her new family (new husband and new baby boy that is about 2 years now). It's been 6 weeks since she has called/or seen my stepdaughter. My stepdaughter asked if she could tell the judge that she doesn't want to see her mom anymore and make it final. Do we need to go through the courts or is she old enough now to make that decision on her own?

No, she is not old enough to make that decision and I don't believe the Court will deny visitation by the mother.

On the other hand, if the mother demands visitatation your step daughter is old enough to stand up and Court and say that she doesn't want to visit for this reason or that reason.

My opinion is that at that point the Court will ask for an evaluation of all parties.

Maybe next time mom wants to be bothered with her she could try saying no and see how mom takes that. Explain that she doesn't like how she is only bothering at mom's convenience. You really should take it to court as Judy says and have it explained that she is only visiting at her convenience so that later it isn't twisted to being claimed that she wasn't allowed her visits.

Thank you for your help. My husband documents every time she cancels or just no shows. So going to court route seems to be the best option for my husband and his daughter... Thank you!

Thank you for your help. My husband documents every time she cancels or just no shows. So going to court route seems to be the best option for my husband and his daughter....Thank you!

Actually I disagree. Your other responses are correct. Your step daughter cannot make this decision on her own. However, I would not go to court until absolutely necessary in your case.

The next time mom calls or stops by for her visit, have the daughter (not you or your husband), tell her that she is not a possession that she can put away and trot out when she feels like it. That she has missed too many scheduled visits and if she cares so little about being with her, then I (the daughter) don't care to be with her either.

Now the result of this will be one of two things. Either the mom will drop it or she will take your husband to court to enforce the visitation. At that point, he brings in documentation of missed visits and the daughter tells the court what she feels. I think the worst that can happen is the court will order the visitation schedule adhered to on BOTH parties.

Yes the court may not take away the visits even if she misses a lot of them, so you may be spending a lot of money for nothing.

The issue here is that legally the girl can not tell her mom no, but she could tell her mom that she needs to either be there or not come at all and see what ahappens

Yeah it is best to leave the court thing alone until she takes them or it is the only option left.