All threads merged


I have been going out with this guy for 4 months now.He recently told me that he has a girlfriend and he won't leave her.This really hurt me because I really love him.He says he loves me and wants to be with me.Now his ignoring my calls and smses.

He's in a relationship with someone else.

Either he is cheating on you, or cheating on her.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with only you?

Don't be the sweet frosting on his stale relationship cake.

You're worth more than that.

It's not about "Understanding men" because not all men are cheaters.

You have been going out with him for 4 months and you just now realized he has a girlfriend? You guys must not of have much of a relationship to start with...

At any rate, dude is a complete cheater and you are better off without him.

We don't all cheat, so don't try to understand men.
I've learned I can't understand women

You deserve better than to be treated as someone's 2nd place prize, you're worth first place!

Keep telling yourself that

There's nothing to understand. He's either cheating on you or cheating on her.

If he's ignoring you, it means he's not interested.

STAY AWAY from cheaters.

If he is ignoring you and he has a girlfriend than he is making it rather clear that he is no longer interested in being with you.
He has made a choice.
You deserve better than a cheater as chances are he would do the same to you.
Honor yourself and never allow anyone to do less.

Don't try to understand him, or men, or women, or anyone other than one person - yourself. Figure out what you want from yourself, and what you want from a significant other. If this guy can't give you what you want (protip - he can't, but you'll have to learn that on your own), then realize that you can find someone who will.

~ Tee

He recently told me that he has a girlfriend and he wont leave her.

Apparently, he loves her more and decided to turn his back on you. GF might have found out about you.

You don't deserve this, forget what happened to you and find someone else.
Who won't just use you.

Let it go.

You've only known him for 4 months and he turned out to be an a***hole, a user and a cheat.

Do yourself a favour - delete all his contact details from your life.

Aren't you better off without him?

The only thing I can add after all these excellent posts is to first love yourself before you can even think about loving someone else. That's what seems to be lacking here. Self-respect and self-love.

Believe that you deserve more and you will get more.

If he's ignoring you, it's for the best for YOU. Don't ever talk to him again, no texts, emails, nothing. It's been 4 months, you'll get over this before you know it.

If he wants to take you back, back off fast. He will cheat on you, it's just a matter of time. You deserve a person that puts the same amount of love and effort as you do.

Mkay.

Fine.

Does she know about you two? Why not? Isn't honestly important to him?

Sorry... tried to say that with a straight face. Couldn't do it.

Sorry you are here. You can love a jackarse. It happens.

But really... what do you want us to say? If HE cannot come up with the pair to man up... to be the man I hope you expect him to be... then I'm at a loss.

Unless you are content with being with a "great guy" who is really with another woman, who has manipulated you and lied from day one, there's just not much to say other than "pack your things and leave NOW"

And maybe leave a shoe crammed up his arse.

If you are content being with such a manipulator... well, I'm still not going to help figure out how to keep him.

He was never yours. Ever.

Wish I could meet him in a dark alley...

You will be much happier staying away from cheaters. Good riddance.

Thanks guyz for the advise.It means a lot but am I wrong 4 wanting 2 know if its really over?

Really?

Did it ever really start?

Don't know what to say to make it more clear...

He is not with you.

Period.

If that is OK, fine. You are an adult. You get to choose.

It is over so why do you need reassurance from him. You should want it to be over and shouldn't want anything to do with him since he has a girl.

I am surprise he told you this. It is better he told you this then his girlfriend seeing the two of you together. That could have been an ugly situation and some women tends to get mad at the female then their boyfriend.

Anything you do with this guy from this point on is your fault. I don't want to see a future thread from you saying "why won't he leave his girlfriend". Please don't and move on.

It's over. Be grafeful, it was only 4 months and not 4 years.

Not only be grateful it was 4 months not 4 years, be grateful:

Grateful that: No child was brought into this one-sided relationship... Think of fighting some guy later on down the road when he is married and they decide THEY want your child to raise and will do ANYthing to prove you unfit. Even if you are a wonderful perfectly fit mommy. The money to fight (thousands), and stress it can cause in your life (unbelieveable) and time (can take a good couple years to deal with in court).

Be grateful: You did not contract a STD that you can't get rid of by some guy who cheats on his girlfriend. You probably aren't the first he cheated with.

Be grateful: You have gotten away with a broken heart that will heal. You have learned something, look back and see if there were any signs. Did he keep his cell phone on lockdown? Any signs he was not totally being honest? Look for the signs, and just be aware in the future. Not obsessive and completely untrusting by any means, just learn your lesson.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!

He is not worth it. You didn't loose anything. You actually gained. Whoever he's with is the one who looses.

Count your blessings girl!! Move on and move up!!

There are many good men in the world, as some one said earlier, not all are cheaters!

By the way... if it seems like its easy for us to give advice... like leaving a person you care about is nothing... its not like that.

I can't speak for the rest, but I've done more than my fair share of dumb things for like, lust, and love.

So... when I say "really? you are trying to hold on why?"... it isn't because I can't relate... its because I've tried to hold on and only later, after much unnecessary emotional baggage was checked, did I realize

"wow... now THAT was dumb of me to do"...

So...

Unless you can show me how this guy, who has told you directly that he isn't leaving her, has your best interest in mind... I just don't know what else to say other than get out now or sooner.

Its what id tell my best friend. What id tell a sister.

We aren't saying its easy to do what you need to do... but knowing what you need to do isn't all that complicated.

Thanx guyz for the advise.It means a lot but am i wrong for wanting to know if its really over?

Yes you are. You are very wrong, because his actions have spoken, but your not listening.

Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes you have to understand the non verbal language as well as words.

Threads merged

Its been a week since I spoke to him.I've tried very hard 2 put all the advice given to me 2 good use bt its easier said than done.Im really hurting.I didn't know how strongly I felt about him until quite recently.I miss him so much I know I shouldn't bt I do

I have been sleeping this guy who is involved.I really like him a lot and he wants us to start dating like seriously.I mean the sex is great but I can't stop thinking about his galfrend.should I continue or just end it before a lot of people get hurt?

A week is a good start. I'm sorry for your pain and suffering but it's all part of the healing process. When you said you didn't know how strongly you felt about him, you didn't realize how much you relied on him to give you happiness. Try to find what makes you happy, without him. Get yourself back, you deserve that much.

You're going to miss him... you're going to miss him for a long time but each passing day will make it easier. Try to pass the day with friends and family because they will always be there for you and never leave.

No not at all.

They are currently dating someone and therefore "off the market".

If you engaged in a relationship with this person it would mean they are cheating on their current partner...
Would you want to be with someone who is a cheater?

What do you think?

To put it simply, NO.

You should have already known the answer to that no brainer.

It is morally wrong and will never lead to anything good.
A relationship that begins with deceit usually has a very bad outcome.

I think it depends on whether the person is married or in a serious relationship because if sum1 is married that's a no go zone bt if you are just dating I don't c a problem with dating sum1 like that.

If they are married, living together, or otherwise committed, No.

I think it depends on whether the person is married or in a serious relationship because if sum1 is married that's a no go zone bt if you are just dating i don't c a problem with dating sum1 like that.

I'm sorry but I am going to have to heavily disagree.

How would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend was cheating on you while in a relationship? If you don't ant others to do it to you then don't do it to others.

Plus any person willing to cheat on a boyfriend/girlfriend they are likely to carry those habits into marriage.

Also marriage comes from the union of two people who love and trust one other. If your too busy hitting the sack with someone else then you do you expect to keep a relationship that will make it into marriage.

I'd rather not even look at a cheating loser if I could help it. I certainly wouldn't stay with one. I personally prefer morals and values. I have a higher opinion of spiders then cheaters and trust me, you could not get me near a spider.

I'm sorry but I am going to have to heavily disagree.

How would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend was cheating on you while in a relationship? If you don't ant others to do it to you then don't do it to others.

Plus any person willing to cheat on a boyfriend/girlfriend they are likely to carry those habits into marriage.

Also marriage comes from the union of two people who love and trust one other. If your too busy hitting the sack with someone else then you do you expect to keep a relationship that will make it into marriage.

I'd rather not even look at a cheating loser if I could help it. I certainly wouldn't stay with one. I personally prefer morals and values. I have a higher opinion of spiders then cheaters and trust me, you could not get me near a spider.

Can't rep you but I could not agree more!

Like I've said many times before...

Would you honestly trust this guy in a relationship..
He is currently cheating on his girlfriend, what makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you?

Definitely end it.

Ok, I just realised you posted the same question twice...
Didn't like the other answers?

I think it depends on whether the person is married or in a serious relationship coz if sum1 is married thats a no go zone bt if u r just dating i dont c a problem with dating sum1 like dat.

I have to disagree with your answer.They said this person is involved with someone else.
If a person is in a relationship,even if they are not married,they should be true to that person ,unless they have an agreement that dating outside the relationship is allowed.

Please also read the rules regarding chat speak.Thank-you.

Yes, you should end it or everyone here will be hurt.

If he is so quick to sleep with you then what is he going to do if you do start seriously dating him? Why wouldn't he cheat on you just the same?

Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel? Think about it hard because those feeling will be made reality if you start dating him and become the girlfriend in the same scenario another woman is asking about.

You must also consider the health risks to dating a man that is very unscrupulous in his sex life. He may not just give you a broken heart if he cheats on you but another, much more lasting gift. AIDS for instance. Maybe herpes. The list of STD's is pretty scary actually.

He has a girlfriend but he has asked her to date him seriously...

I have absolutely no respect for a man that does this...
He is staying with his current girlfriend and using her as a 'safety net' in case you say no.

Would you really want to be with someone who is a liar and a cheat?

Just end it. Don't be a cheater. Takes 2 to have cheating going on. How can you be with someone that is with 2 different people?

Exactly. If you are going to choose who you are going to be with why knowingly choose a lying scumbag?

How would you like it if you had a girlfriend that decided to cheat on you by dating someone else? Is this called a two timer?

This girl is two timing her boyfriend and I feel sorry for him.

So a simple soluation to this problem would be you doing the manly thing by asking her boyfriend if it is okay for you date her since they aren't married.

Personally I never play the sidelines and Karma will catch up to you and this girl. Play with fire and your only get burnt in the end. Believe me!

They are already spoken for... leave well alone

The answer is a big NO

If he is serious about you, tell him to end it first with is girlfriend... remember

He's cheating on her and he'll do the same to you

Is it morally correct 2 date some1 who is already in a relationship.

If you had morals you wouldn't be in this situation.

I just wanted to add last weekend around my parents house a woman along with the guy she was cheating on her boyfriend with got stabbed by her boyfriend. He found out she was cheating on him and decided to cause bodily harm to her and the guy.

You never know what a person might do because everyone that knew the guy (who stabbed the girl and the guy) was shocked that he was capable of this but you never know what a person is capable of.

Just because YOU like a guy there is no reason to be his booty call, while he screws you, and goes home to her, is there?

Don't worry, if you don't give it up to him, he will find another to cheat with. Even if you do give it up, he can still find another. But you'll never know, as his girlfriend will never know about you.

should i continue or just end it b4 a lot of people get hurt?

One already did.

I've just realized how bad being with this guy is for me.I'm not the same person I was 4 mnts ago.My morals have changed I'm acting like a 1st class and its not who I am.I need 2 get him out of my system and fast.I don't need this drama in my life.

Get your moral back and leave him alone. What do you mean about being 1st class?

So what did we learn today?

Do not date or see anyone who is already involved.


How do people not see this coming? C'mon people, use your head, not your heart.

So what did we learn today?

Do not date or see anyone who is already involved.


How do people not see this coming? C'mon people, use your head, not your heart.

Lol I thought this is something we should already know!!

i have been going out with this guy for 4 months now.he recently told me that he has a girlfriend and he wont leave her.this really hurt me because i really luv him.he says he luvs me and wants 2 b with me.now his ignoring my calls and smses.

Leave him alone, I know you love him but love is peaceful and he has lied to you and I don't think you should stand for it. Be with someone who's going to respect you and your happiness not ignore you, he's a fool

i've just realized how bad being with this guy is 4 me.i'm not the same person i was 4 mnts ago.my morals have changed im acting like a 1st class and its not who i am.i need 2 get him out of my system and fast.i dnt need this drama in my life.

Well don't call him, text him or anything like that. Go out and have fun with your friends and erase him out of your head honey. And if he calls you or texts you don't respond. Erase it don't think about him or any of that...

Never sat aside your morals for no one. This is one thing no one can't ever take from you.

Also, two wrongs doesn't make it right. How would you had like it if your boyfriend was playing you by dating someone else while he is with you?

I have this friend who is going out with this guy bcoz of his money.she says she loves him but its not true she is only with him bcoz his loaded.she has done this before.how can I get her 2 change her gold digging ways. Help!

She most likely will not change as the reward to herself is more important than any moral lesson you could give her.

If she changed,she would lose all the perks of dating a rich guy.

Many guys know when they are being taken this way and they accept it as well.They are reaping some benefit as well.

It may be only one step up from the oldest profession but if they are consenting adults ,there isn't much you can do,except be a better role model.

You can't change her, she has to change herself.

The guy will figure it out eventually and if he doesn't mind, then it's a mutual feeling and you can't do anything about it.

People have choices on who they date. It's really nobody's business other than the two people involved. You can have your opinions, but unless your friend asks for help, you should keep them to yourself and just be happy for her.

I pretty sure this guy knows he is being taken for a ride and if not someone needs to needs to give a reality check.

You can use someone unless you allow yourself to be use and this is exactly what this guy is doing.

More than likely if you bring up your friend golddigging she is only going to think your jealous.

Leave this situation alone because she isn't doing anything illegal. If anything she is taken advantage of a guy but if he stupid to let someone do this to him then who fault is it anyway.

Her and the 1000's of other women who do the same thing,

When she no longer has her looks, she will pay the price

Mind your own business.

These past few months I haven't been myself.Ive been doing very strange things.Im acting very slutish.In a week I slept with 3 diffent guyz maybe I feel very empty inside and I'm trying 2 feel that void by sleeping with all these men.I need help!

First of all. STOP! Realize that there are other solutions to your problems.

Secondly, you need some professional help to deal with your confusion. Talk to a therapist or a counsellor to sort out your problems. You need to figure out what the problems are first before fixing them. Sleeping with other men is just at temporary solution. When you wake up the next morning, your problems will still be there.

Thirdly, confied in friends and family if possible to help you out.