I work for a large retail company. My boss is not married. Once in a while, he will make comments about the "lack of sex" in his life. He has a married female friend, who is also a manager at our store. They have a "unique" relationship. They both transferred from another store (30 miles away), they drive to work together, own the same cars, call each other 2 to 3 times a day when they don't work the same shift-almost like husband and wife.
Now, the problem. While we were in the cash office counting money, this female manager suggested I have sex with my boss. She told me that they've talked about me, and that he said I was good looking-that he would not turn me down. She went into a little more detail as to what he liked! I said that yes, he is good looking, but I wouldn't want him to get fired. She told me that no one needs to know and that she did the same thing at her previous site-before her transfer.
Nothing ever happened between me and my boss.
Now, this female manager is doing anything she can to cause problems. She got me in trouble with another manager. When I pulled her aside and told her that maybe I need to go to HR and the store manager and tell them how she suggested that I sleep with my manager, she totally denied that it ever happened. Now she claims that I was the one that wanted to sleep with him. We do have camera's in the store, but as far as we know, no audio.
I want to prove that she lied. Is there a way I can do that?

Hi underpar,

This woman is obviously out to cause trouble,for what ever reason.

Unfortunately they are both managers which out rank you so it would be their word over yours.

Anyone who speaks up about their boss etc. will never win but probably end up getting fired.

If I were you I would put in for a transfer to another store.

You should have gone to HR immediately. This was totally inappropriate and a blatant violation of sexual harassment laws. Now, you are backed into a corner.

Since this is a your word against hers situation, I doubt if you can prove anything. So what I would do is make an arrangement to talk privately and confidentially to an HR rep. Tell the rep about the conversation and that you didn't report it because you didn't want to get anyone in trouble. But since this manager wouldn't let it go and is making trouble for you, you felt you had to report it. But you know that you have no proof so that you don't know if HR can take any action. You felt you still had to report it because of the harassment you are getting.

Then you need to keep your nose completely clean. So the female mgr can't get anything on you. If she tries to make life hard, HR will see it.

Also keep a journal of anything either mgr does.

Sadly, there is no way that you can prove that she lied. This is a lose-lose situation for you if you pursue it with her. She's on the defensive now and you may well be in the firing line.

Keep written records of any future 'advances' and if you can, take ScottGem's advice. But be very careful that it is kept totally confidential.

This is a big lesson about how to approach things in the future. For now you need to keep your nose totally clean and avoid your troublemaker manager as much as you can. Don't mention anything about it to her ever again.

Call HR for sure. ScottGem's advice was really good.
Don't think that just because you're lower management it has to be a lose-lose situation. I doubt that you're the only person who's had problems with this manager. You might be the only one willing to speak out about it but for all you know there's someone else already calling HR. and do you know why she was transferred? Maybe that incident she mentioned to you had something to do with it... who knows. Don't let her bully you. That's what she's counting on. She's counting on scaring you and abusing her power.

Get a better job somewhere else. Start looking now.

People really should pay attention to their working environment and the stress it adds to their life. I'm not telling you to QUIT, I'm telling you to start looking now. When you find and acquire that better job... leave, and don't look back.

Everyone, thank you for all your help. I took a little advice from each one of you. I started looking for another job. I have decided not to go to HR-it's her word against mine.
"Justcurious 55"-rumor has it, she was given an ultimatum, either quit or transfer.
"ScottGem" -I will keep my nose clean. Like you said, I should have gone to HR immediately, but now it's too late. You gave me very good advice. Thank you!!
I had to work with the female manager yesterday. I was very professional. I did my job, talked to her when needed, and I will continue to do that as long as I work for the company.
Thank you, again.

The best revenge is to live a better life and not apologize for it.

Statistically, people are in a BETTER situation than they were 6 months after leaving any one job.

We wish you the best!