Ok so August of 2008 I went off to college and my girlfriend and I of two and a half year broke up because she can't do long distance relationships. She came an visited me in October and we fell back in love and because I was getting bored of College (Yes I'm a college drop out) I decided to come back at the end of the semester (December). Before she left that week we both promised to be loyal and faithful to each other.

So for the last two months of my college experience I was part of a Fraternity but I NEVER went down on another girl. I came back home (after much argument with parents) a day before here birthday and I asked her out for her birthday. We were going strong for a month but in mid January she broke up with me because I caused too much stress (I didn't have a job yet but remember the economy is kind of bad). We start talking a week into February and semi get to together but I some what broke up with her 2 days before Valentines day (Still with me here?).

At the end of February we start to talk again and agree just to be friends with "benefits". Two weeks go by and we get into a HUGE fight and she reveals something to me... Here's her story.

She was friends with a friends of mine and working at a coffee shop. After returning home from visiting me she went about her normal business. Then SOMEHOW two weeks go by and she sleeps with my friend and hers... (At the time she was thinking why let my single life go and keep in mind we lost our virginity to each other). She slept with him multiple times, And once with a singer at the coffee shop. She even slept with my friend a WEEK before I came home. Now during the month we were going out she never spoke to my friend. But in the two weeks in between the January break up and us getting back together we slept with him once (hope you're still following). And during the time we were friends with "benefits" she slept with him twice.

Now after finding this out, for her to take me back I wanted her to cut ALL connections with the two guys (BTW I should have gone to jail after what I did to my friend but he didn't call the police, just say he didn't feel too well). I've been with her since March but I always keep getting that thought of her sleeping with someone else and that she's not as attractive to me anymore. Because she's now more experienced and I've only slept with her.

Now my question. If there anyway I can get this damn thought out of my head? Should I be getting even by sleeping with someone else to just even the playing field? Or should I just leave her? Now remember every time she slept with someone she TECHNICALLY wasn't with me (besides the promise in college). But it just doesn't feel right and she really does love me and wants to do anything to help me out here but she can't think of a solution either.

I'm guessing that this is your first serious relationship? There are so many red flags in this relationship. Sounds like you don't know the signs of when to call it quits. I'll save you the trouble. There's are too many.

Unsecurity.

Unfaithfulness even while unsure of feelings for a significant other.

Confusion causing you to drag out a relationship longer than it should be.

Loss of trust.

Too many ultimate promises that are unrealistic.

Too much on and off.

You're just dragging out the inevitable. It's time to cut your losses and move on with your life. Don't allow yourself to suffer anymore. It's time to let her go and get your act together. Time to spend time buidling your career, starting with school.

First there isn't a such thing as semi cheating. You even cheated or you didn't. Right now she just slept with another guy (who happens to be a friend of yours) because the two of you decided to be friends with benefits.

Also, I am curious to know what do you mean when you wrote "So for the last two months of my college experience I was part of a Fraternity but I NEVER went down on another girl". Does it means that if your part of a fraternity you must go down on girls? I'm just confused by this statement.

As a man you have to know when to walk away from a situation and when to simply throw in the towel. You and this girl are just toxic together and the relationship haven't mature and it doesn't seems like it will.

On and off relationships never work and friends with benefits and open relationship barely works. If the two adults are going to agree to this the two of you must set guidelines and if you're the jealousy type it can't work. Both of you are free to do what you want regardless of what you promise each other.

Communucation, trust, compromise, teamwork are what makes a relationship have a chance of working and you and this girl have none of these tools. Leave and don't look back.

Also, I am curious to know what do you mean when you wrote "So for the last two months of my college experience I was part of a Fraternity but I NEVER went down on another girl". Does it means that if your part of a fraternity you must go down on girls? I'm just confused by this statement.

What I meant is in the fraternity I had the opportunity to be with other girls because, well the it's a fraternity with lots of parties. Just was noting that I still have yet to sleep with anyone else.

Thank for the help Liz and I wish, I do appreciate the responses and going to do it. By the way this is my first post :p

List of things to do after a Break up here I come.

she's not as attractive to me anymore. Because she's now more experienced and I've only slept with her.

Thats such immature drivel.

Now my question. If there anyway I can get this damn thought out of my head?
By taking the time to leave her alone and going about your own life.

Should I be getting even by sleeping with someone else to just even the playing field? Or should I just leave her?
Leave her alone, the rest is more immature drivel.

Now remember every time she slept with someone she TECHNICALLY wasn't with me (besides the promise in college).
Thats not very smart making a promise to someone you are not with, does that make sense to you?? I hope not.

But it just doesn't feel right and she really does love me and wants to do anything to help me out here but she can't think of a solution either.
As long as your fear, and insecurity, and jealousy, rule your thinking, the best thing to do, is leave each other alone, till you grow up, and can be a much more mature partner.

Till then you will be miserable, and make her miserable.

Oh my goodness. After all you two have been through can you imagine marrying this girl and having children with her? "Well kids the story is like this..." OK so it doesn't have to be that deep but you get the point.

I'm sorry to be sarcastic. I've been through a break-up-get-together similar situation and the result is... the best time to get out is after the first break-up. Sorry honey but you just need to move on.

I understand your pain and situation. I am in it but your situation is probably worse than mine. My ex kissed a guy at the near end of the relationship and after she broke up with me ( the same guy ) and people are telling me to leave her.

In your case, No Contact will make a wonder for you. You'll be able to take care of yourself, distance yourself from your girlfriend and calm yourself.

You probably want to leave her but part of you is doubting this decision for the wrong reason. It seems you have a lot of anger toward your girlfriend and friend and you really need to distance yourself from all this and the best idea would probably not see her again ( no email, no phone call, no Facebook looking page ).

Do you really want a girl who slept with these two guys knowing she still had feelings for you? It may take some time to see but you will find a much better girl out there, you just need to take care of yourself. Go back to college, study hard and party hard also and you will attract tons of women ( especially if you are not in electrical engineering with a room full of guys, yea that's MY everyday reality lol ).

Simple if u cannot trust her to not sleep around no matter how open your relationship is friends with fringe benefits this kind of thing is bull and does not work in the real world somebody gets hurt and it sounds by your letter it is goning to be you. Do yourself a favor and find someone who wants u only and u her .good luck

Okay, it's hump day and my head already hurts. This relationship has more faults then underneath California, I mean seriously. You break up, make up, break up become friends with benefits then break up, and get back together again. Does this sound healthy to you?

You either need to let her go, for good or deal with the fact she slept with someone else while you weren't dating. I don't see how it's cheating, maybe an ego bruising but not cheating.