View Full Version : Bothered about my boyfriends past
Lala22
May 16, 2009, 07:39 AM
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months, I'm a virgin and he's not. Hes told me he has only had sex once but he's done other stuff with about 5 girls. This really bothered me and I don't know why, I think its because it means less to him than it does to me and like it isn't important to him. I feel like it won't be the same if we sleep together. What should I do?
talaniman
May 16, 2009, 08:23 AM
How old are you?
jessmania442
May 16, 2009, 08:26 AM
No I think he respects that your still a virgin and that if you don't want to sleep with him he respects why.
crazychick56
May 16, 2009, 08:30 AM
Yes, exactly, how old are you? It says you're a new member and some of the time (not all of the time) new members tend to be pretty young. Somewhat like me. But, I tend to have the older, more mature mind of an adult, so it helps when I give advice. Now, I have been in your same position yes. EXACT. So I'm young, doesn't mean the guys won't do anything in their past life, teenagers are doing perposturous things these days anyway, though I never did.
I'm still a virgin too and he wasn't, BY GOD NO HE WAS NOT! :/. So I was uncomfortable with that either and let me tell you, it won't work out. I mean I hate to be straight forward, but MOST OF THE TIME, the relationship won't be as strong as you want it, one of you is going to start getting persnikedy then both of you will, (that means picky; stengy), and then before you know it, poof! You're on and off in a relationsip you should not be in and it goes on FOREVER!! And you will sooner or later end up dissapointed, so get out of it while you can.
none12345
May 16, 2009, 08:31 AM
I know its hard to get over it but if you love someone, you should enjoy his company and something like that shouldn't be important.
Lala22
May 16, 2009, 11:38 AM
I'm almost 17.
He respects me its not as though it's a main priority, just that it bothers me and I'm not sure what to do about it
talaniman
May 16, 2009, 12:11 PM
There is nothing you can do is there? You either accept, and deal with it, as a personal problem, or leave him alone, because you can't handle it, or change it.
chuff
May 16, 2009, 12:11 PM
I don't know if he's old enough to appreciate this, but I sure wish I could find a virgin. No baggage, no bringing up past experiences, no bringing up past problems. Virgins rule.
Honestly if he can't be happy with a virgin then he ain't going to be happy and this isn't going to work.
As for you, I understand your young but sex is not the end all be all of the relationship. Trust and honesty provide a solid foundation and I think you have to give him some credit, he trusted you when he told you about his past. He's been with you for 8 months... with in your teens is forever, but not really much in the real world but my guess is from what little you write. He probably likes you, don't hold over his head this or your going to self destruct and if that happens he's not going to stick around either.
Lala22
May 16, 2009, 01:08 PM
I don't know if he's old enough to appreciate this, but I sure wish I could find a virgin. No baggage, no bringing up past experiences, no bringing up past problems. Virgins rule.
Honestly if he can't be happy with a virgin then he ain't gonna be happy and this isn't going to work.
As for you, I understand your young but sex is not the end all be all of the relationship. Trust and honesty provide a solid foundation and I think you have to give him some credit, he trusted you when he told you about his past. He's been with you for 8 months.....with in your teens is forever, but not really much in the real world but my guess is from what little you write. He probably likes you, don't hold over his head this or your going to self destruct and if that happens he's not going to stick around either.
Thanks for the advice :)
Survivor07
May 16, 2009, 08:33 PM
His sexual experience bothers you because you have none and you're anxious about being compared and you're wishing you could be his first as well... I'm just guessing here, but in my opinion it bothers you because you are not ready for the stream of emotions sex brings to a relationship.
Take your time and be sure. If you're feeling like it would be no big deal to him, then I'd wait. Talk to him about it. If you can't talk about sex with your partner, then you shouldn't do it. Especially have the safe sex talk and use birth control.
This would be your "first time" and it should be special and with someone you love and who respects you and with someone who will respect that this is your first time.
(Always remember sex = pregnancy. If neither of you are ready to be parents, then you aren't ready for sex.)
His past is the past and shouldn't interfere with the present.